Praise for Annie Claydon:

‘A compelling, emotional and highly poignant read that I couldn’t bear to put down. Rich in pathos, humour and dramatic intensity, it’s a spellbinding tale about healing old wounds, having the courage to listen to your heart and the power of love that kept me enthralled from beginning to end.’

—GoodReads on Once Upon a Christmas Night …

‘A lovely story—I really enjoyed this book, which was well-written by Annie as always.’

—GoodReads on Re-awakening His Shy Nurse

‘Well-written brilliant characters—I have never been disappointed by a book written by Annie Claydon.’

—GoodReads on The Rebel and Miss Jones

Dear Reader,

I can’t believe that this is my tenth book! Where has all the time gone?

When I think about it, I know exactly where it’s gone. There have been many, many hours at the computer, smiling at something one of my heroes has said, or gnashing my teeth at the situation a heroine has found herself in. I’ve experienced the thrill of receiving an email from someone who’s read one of my books. I’ve met readers, editors and authors—both online and in person. Received boxes of books, new covers, new titles and editions from around the world. And the excitement of it just never seems to pall. If anything, my tenth book is more of a delight than my first—because it’s finally sunk in that this is all real and not a dream.

Thank you for being with me on this journey. It’s had its ups and downs, its hard times and successes. But in the end it’s you, my reader, who makes it such a joy.

Annie x

www.annieclaydon.com

Cursed from an early age with a poor sense of direction and a propensity to read, ANNIE CLAYDON spent much of her childhood lost in books. After completing her degree in English Literature she indulged her love of romantic fiction and spent a long, hot summer writing a book of her own. It was duly rejected and life took over. A series of U-turns led in the unlikely direction of a career in computing and information technology, but the lure of the printed page proved too much to bear and she now has the perfect outlet for the stories which have always run through her head: writing Medical Romance™ for Mills & Boon®. Living in London—a city where getting lost can be a joy—she has no regrets for having taken her time in working her way back to the place that she started from.

Daring to Date Her Ex
Annie Claydon

www.millsandboon.co.uk

To all the readers, editors, family and friends

who’ve supported me this far.

Thank you.

PROLOGUE

HE WASN’T THERE.

Thea Coleman surveyed the sea of heads bobbing in front of her. No reason to panic. There were walkways, coffee shops, seating areas to check out … It had been a nice fantasy, stepping out of a taxi and bumping into Lucas almost straight away. Seeing his face light up when he saw her, holding his hand as they walked together into the airport to embark on the biggest adventure of their lives. But fantasy was a forgiving and flexible thing, and there was another one that would do just as well. Finding him at the last minute, just as he was about to board the plane. Pushing through the crowds to fling herself into his arms, and flying off into the sunset with him.

She checked her luggage in, went through passport control, and scanned the passenger lounge anxiously. It looked as if fantasy number three was going to be the one. She’d find him on the plane. Lucas would have given up all hope that she might change her mind and come with him by then.

She knew that he was on this flight; the tickets had been propped up in front of the mirror in his bedroom for over a month. Every night she’d offered up the silent hope that he might change his mind. That he’d ask her to put her career on hold and go with him. Or that he’d decide that the opportunity of working as a doctor in Bangladesh was a dream he could postpone until she had completed her two years’ foundation training and could apply to work alongside him.

Every morning the tickets had still been there and there was one less day to count before he used them. It would be sensible to wave him goodbye and get on with her life. Only love didn’t listen to sense.

As soon as the seat-belt light dinged off, she squeezed past the man sitting next to her and walked up and down the aisles of the plane. Slipped into business class, in case he’d got an upgrade, and managed to ascertain that he wasn’t there before she was politely asked to leave by one of the flight attendants. When the plane landed in Dhaka, she had no more fantasies left to rely on.

She tried not to cry as she went through passport control and claimed her baggage. Covering her long, fair hair with a scarf, she walked out of the airport alone into the unforgiving heat of an unknown city.

Table of Contents

Cover

Praise for Annie Claydon:

Dear Reader

About the Author

Title Page

Dedication

PROLOGUE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

Seven years later—Day One

THERE WAS NOTHING especially urgent about the manner in which the phone rang, but context was everything. Not many people called at seven o’clock on a Monday morning for an idle chat. And it was one of the laws of the universe that you could come into work early, hoping for a couple of quiet hours before the switchboard opened at nine, and something would happen.

Thea reached for the phone. ‘Dr Coleman.’

‘Good. Glad you’re here …’

‘What is it, Jake?’ She surveyed the carefully ordered pile of paperwork in front of her. In comparison to the sometimes chaotic disorder of the Central London A and E department downstairs, it suddenly seemed like a poor shadow of reality.

‘I’ve got a thirty-four-year-old male that I want a second opinion on. Will you come and have a look?’

‘I’ll be right down.’ Paperwork might be a necessity, but it didn’t put a smile on her face when she got out of bed in the morning. And Thea was smiling as she put the phone down.

‘Where is everybody?’

Jake Turner was a great guy and a good doctor, but he generally didn’t have much of an appreciation of time. A busy shift in A and E could do that to you.

‘It’s seven in the morning, Jake. Anyone with any sense is still thinking about getting out of bed.’

‘Ah. No wonder I had to ring around.’

‘You mean you didn’t call me first? I’m devastated.’

Jake snorted with laughter. ‘I tried Michael Freeman. I thought he’d want to know about this.’

Michael was Head of Respiratory Medicine at the hospital. ‘So what have you got that warranted the attention of our beloved leader? I don’t see any holes in the walls or visiting dignitaries.’

‘Thirty-four-year-old male, persistent cough, congested lungs and recent weight loss. I’ve had some X-rays done and I think it might be tuberculosis.’

‘What’s his history?’

‘He’s been sick for a while. His GP put him on antibiotics and he improved a bit then deteriorated again after he finished them. He came in last night with chest pains and difficulty breathing.’

Thea flipped through the A and E notes that Jake had handed her. ‘Any travel overseas lately?’

‘Nope, nothing. And this guy’s a teacher.’

‘From …’

‘The big secondary school up the road.’

Something pricked at the back of Thea’s neck. A couple of thousand pupils, aged eleven to eighteen, all crammed into an overcrowded inner-city school. Along with a suspected case of TB. ‘Great. You’d better be wrong, Jake.’

Unlikely. Jake was far too good a doctor for that.

‘Yeah. Let’s hope so.’

Mr Michael Freeman, Head of Respiratory Medicine, leaned back in his leather chair, rubbing his neck as if it hurt. ‘You’re sure?’

‘Sure as I can be. I’ve put a rush on the initial tests and we should have them back within twenty-four hours. But the patient has all the symptoms of active pulmonary TB.’ Thea slipped the X-rays out of their sleeve and clipped them into the light box on the wall.

Michael studied them carefully. ‘I agree. You’re admitting him?’

‘Yes, I want to keep him under observation for a few days.’ Thea pointed to the areas on the X-ray that indicated fluid in the patient’s pleural cavity. ‘The pleural effusion might well resolve once we start medication, but if it gets any worse I’ll need to do a thoracentesis.’

‘I agree. I want you to supervise the isolation procedures yourself, along with the notifications. If we have a situation where the infection’s already spread, then I want you dealing with it.’

‘I hope it hasn’t.’

Michael fell back into his chair. ‘So do I. What do you think, though? Worst-case scenario.’

This was Michael’s preferred modus operandi. He knew the answers already and, as the head of department, it was his job to make the decisions. But he always listened to his staff, and let them come up with the solutions he already had in mind.

‘Given that TB’s not that infectious …’ Thea let out a sigh. False optimism wasn’t going to help the situation. ‘Worst-case scenario is that we have an unknown number of pupils infected. The patient’s not been abroad in the last five years so the source of his infection is probably in this area. The contact tracing’s going to be a big job and we’ll have to do it carefully. We don’t want wide-scale panic, but we do want to provide prompt testing where it’s appropriate.’

Michael nodded. ‘Agreed. And what do you recommend for resourcing?’

‘We can’t do it all ourselves. We’ll need consultancy from Public Health England, and probably a couple of extra TB nurses to support the staff here.’

‘Any ideas about who might be leading the hospital team?’

‘I’d thought that you would be doing that.’

Michael gave her the smile that he usually reserved for anyone who wasn’t quite catching his drift. ‘I see from your staff record that you worked in Bangladesh for two years at a TB clinic.’

‘That was three years ago.’ Thea never talked about Bangladesh. She was surprised that Michael even knew she’d been there, but she supposed her CV must be on file somewhere.

‘Are you telling me you’ve forgotten what you learned there?’

She would never forget. The suffering she’d seen at a TB clinic, during her first short trip, had drowned out the clamour of her own breaking heart. Lucas’s dream had become hers, and she’d known she’d have to return.

Two years later, she’d realised that dream and travelled to Bangladesh to work. And then the traumatic, unforgettable lesson that had destroyed everything and brought her back home. But that was history now. She had to move on.

‘If you’re planning to have someone else lead the hospital team, then I’d like you to consider me as a candidate. I think I’m qualified to do it.’

Michael nodded, his self-satisfied smirk a sure indication that the conversation was going the way he wanted it to. ‘I’m glad you think so, because I was considering offering you the position. It’s conditional, though.’

‘What’s the condition?’ Something about the way that Michael said it warned Thea that she wasn’t going to like it.

‘The conference I spoke about last week. The one you’ve expressed no interest in.’

Thea’s heart sank. ‘The one in Mumbai, where you’ve been asked to present a paper on the spread of TB in inner London.’

‘That’s the one. Only the request was for a representative of this department to present a paper. My name wasn’t mentioned.’ Michael paused, looking at her steadily. ‘Most people would jump at the chance.’

Thea wasn’t most people. ‘I thought it went without saying that it should be you. You represent the department.’

‘I lead the department. Which means it’s my job to encourage my staff to realise their full potential.’ Michael leaned back in his chair. ‘It’s up to you. If you want to head up the team you have to be prepared to share what you learn, and the conference will be good experience for you. Take it or leave it.’

She wouldn’t get another opportunity like this again. If she really cared about what she did … There were so many reasons for saying yes, but they still couldn’t crowd out the dread that accompanied the thought of standing up in front of a lecture hall full of people.

‘I’ll take it.’ The words almost stuck in her throat, but she managed to get them out.

‘Good. In that case, I want you to keep me in the loop and let me know what resources you’ll need.’

‘Thank you.’ She may as well start now. ‘With regard to the testing at the school, we may well be able to do that in a few weeks’ time.’

‘Why’s that?’ Michael knew as well as she did that best practice would be to wait for ten weeks, the incubation period for TB.

‘The patient’s been off work sick for a while. He was diagnosed as having pneumonia and was at home for three weeks before Easter. His GP gave him antibiotics and he responded to those, but he didn’t go straight back to work because it was only a few days until the end of term. His condition got worse again after Easter, and he hasn’t been back to work since.’

‘So that’s … how long?’

‘No contact with any of his pupils for seven weeks now.’

Michael nodded. ‘In some ways that’s a blessing. We won’t be besieged by parents, wanting to know why their kids aren’t being tested immediately.’

‘Yes, but we’ll …’ Thea grinned. ‘I mean I’ll have my work cut out to get all the contacts notified and everything in place for when the testing does start.’

‘Then make sure that you use all of the support that’s available from outside agencies. Do you need any help with your other caseload?’

‘Not at the moment, but I’d like to keep that offer in hand. And I want to give some thought to where we’ll seat the team and do the testing. I want to set up a separate clinic.’

Michael nodded in approval. ‘All right. Let me know when you’ve decided and I’ll deal with the red tape.’

Thea already had somewhere in mind but she needed to see her patient first. ‘Thanks. Is after lunch any good for you?’

‘I have some time at one o’clock. If that’s soon enough for you.’ Michael gave her an amused look, which Thea ignored. He’d given her this job, and she was going to prove to him, beyond all question, that he’d made the right choice.

Dr Lucas West drove through the main entrance of the hospital and down the ramp into the underground car park. He was not supposed to be here until tomorrow morning but his afternoon meeting had ended early, and in his experience one could learn a lot about a place by just wandering in unannounced at the end of a working day. He wanted to see the way that Michael Freeman’s department ran when it wasn’t expecting a visit.

And the fax he’d received that morning was worrying. A case of tuberculosis was always a matter of concern, but a teacher in a large, inner-city school demanded his immediate attention.

The hospital was fifty years old, built with all the irrepressible optimism of the nineteen sixties. Since then it had clearly taken a few knocks, and although Lucas noted that it was scrupulously clean, he also saw that it was outdated in places and groaning under the number of people that it served.

He also noted that the receptionist in the department for respiratory medicine directed him back downstairs again, when he identified himself as a consultant, sent by PHE. He would have to have a word with whoever was in charge here. Clearly no one had thought much about the logistics of having a potentially large number of clinic attendees walking from one end of the hospital to the other and then back again to find the place they were meant to be going.

He found the room number he’d been directed to at the end of a long, dingy corridor. Ignoring the ‘Please Knock and Wait’ sign taped to the door, he walked straight in, the door handle turning and then coming off in his hand.

She’d cut her hair.

Suddenly every thought, each one of his resolutions to sort this mess out, was blanked from his mind. There was nothing else other than the unexpected realisation that Thea had cut her beautiful hair.

For a moment she didn’t recognise him. That hurt even more than the corruption of the memory of Thea’s corn-coloured hair spread out like liquid sunshine.

‘Thea.’ He supposed he should say more, but right now that wasn’t an option.

‘Lucas.’ She seemed to be coping with the moment better than he was. Or perhaps that was just what he wanted to think. He was probably just a distant memory to her, and there was nothing for her to cope with.

She walked towards him, stretching out her hand, more self-possessed than she’d been seven years ago. Thea had clearly learned to conceal her feelings, and that was yet another loss. Seven years ago she would have either rushed to hug him or aimed a punch at him. Either would have been better than this.

‘My door handle.’

‘Oh … Yes.’ He dropped the handle into her palm, careful not to brush his fingers against hers.

‘Thank you.’ She turned away, as if that was the only thing that interested her about him, and picked up a screwdriver from the windowsill.

Lucas reminded himself what he’d come here to do, and where in the chain of command he intended to be. ‘I’m here to see Michael Freeman. He’s co-ordinating the TB response team.’

She nodded, slipping past him and kneeling in front of the open door. ‘No, I am. Put your foot there, will you?’

Lucas planted his foot against the door, holding it steady while she applied herself to screwing the handle back on again. ‘I’m the consultant from PHE.’

The words generally had some effect on people, but they barely seemed to register. She gave a brief nod and yanked brutally at the door handle to test that it was now securely fixed.

He had to stop this now. Thea didn’t seem to have any understanding of the gravity of the task ahead of them, and if she thought he was here to act as apprentice handyman it was time to disillusion her. ‘Isn’t there someone else who can do this? We both have more important issues to deal with.’

She looked up at him for a moment. Her eyes were the same, dark and thoughtful, eyes that you could lose yourself in. That he had lost himself in once, on a very regular basis. Right now a spark of fire, or maybe just a trick of the light, turned brown to gold.

‘I could walk upstairs, find a requisition form, and wait two days for someone from Maintenance to come and fix it. And if you were going to turn up unannounced, you could at least have read the notice on the door …’ She got to her feet and turned away from him again.

Annoyance gripped at his chest. Thea had never just walked away from him like that before, and it surprised Lucas that it was no easier to take now than it would have been seven years ago. The impulse to spin her round, take her off balance and kiss her rose from his heart to his head, and his head dismissed it out of hand.

The roaring in his ears began to subside and professionalism took over. This was just another situation that he had to get on top of, and he had never failed to win hearts and minds when he needed to. Lucas put his briefcase down at his feet and knocked gently on the open door. She took her time in turning to face him, but when she did a touch of humour was tugging at her mouth.

‘Dr Lucas West. I’m looking for the head of the TB response team.’

‘Dr Thea Coleman. You’ve come to the right place.’

They didn’t shake hands. It was probably best not to touch her just yet.

‘You look well, Thea.’ It was a pleasantry rather than a compliment. She seemed paler than he remembered her, and grey didn’t suit her as well as the vibrant colours she used to wear. Lucas pressed on. ‘Do you have some time to talk?’

She nodded. ‘Of course. Why don’t we go for coffee?’

He smiled at her. Thea had always been able to make him smile, even now. ‘That sounds good.’

One word had sounded at the back of her head, forming a long scream of disbelief. No-o-o.

It had taken every ounce of Thea’s self-control not to run from the room. Lucas had taught her how to love and had then left her. Seven years, several oceans, and a lot of water under the bridge later, here he was. His dark hair a little shorter, and definitely tidier. Wearing a suit, of all things.

A cold detachment, as if she’d taken a step back from the world and was no longer a part of it, came to her rescue. Someone else had taken the door handle from him and answered him back, while the real Thea had been shivering in a corner, screaming that this could not be happening.

‘How have you been?’ He followed her through the canteen and into the garden beyond, putting his coffee down on the bench between them.

‘Fine. You?’

He nodded. ‘Fine.’

That seemed to cover their personal lives for the past seven years. If he’d followed even a few of the dreams that he’d shared with her over the two years they’d been together, it was unlikely that his professional life had been as uneventful.

‘You have experience of dealing with TB abroad?’

Something tightened his face into a mask. ‘I didn’t go abroad. Things happened …’

He seemed disinclined to say what things could possibly have got in the way of what he’d considered his destiny. ‘I worked at a TB clinic in the UK for a while and now I consult. Better hours …’

He stopped short as Thea choked on her coffee. The Lucas she’d known hadn’t owned a suit and had cared nothing for regular hours.

‘Are you okay?’

He looked as if he was about to thump her on the back. ‘Yes, fine …’ Thea waved him away. ‘Where was the TB clinic?’

‘South London.’ He seemed to recognise the awkwardness of the admission and changed the subject quickly. ‘You’ve been working here since you qualified?’

‘No, three years.’ The other four were none of his business. Thea could practically feel herself retreating again behind the protective shell that she had learned to cloak herself with in the hard weeks before her return from Bangladesh. The Lucas that she’d known had been charming and unconventional, an idealist and totally committed to his goals. There was nothing of that man here.

She stared hard at a clump of daisies in the grass at her feet, fighting for control. ‘I’ll let you have the case notes for the patient we have here at the hospital. You might like to see him.’

He nodded, as if he understood that Thea had nothing more of a personal nature left to say. ‘Yes, that would be good. You’re thinking of working out of the room on the ground floor?’

‘Yes.’

‘It’s not very well signposted, and it’s a way away from the department. We may have to review that location at our first team meeting tomorrow morning. Can you come up with some alternatives, or should I speak with your head of department about that?’

Like hell he would. ‘You can speak to me. I’m the liaison officer.’

He gave a small nod. ‘In that case, I’d like to see some alternatives. Preferably in the department and with easy, well-signposted access. It looks as if we may be testing a large number of contacts, and I don’t want people having to wander around the way I did.’

‘I chose the clinic on the ground floor because it has its own separate external entrance, which is a hundred metres from the bus stop in the hospital grounds.’

‘But if you come in at the main gates—’

‘No one does, unless they’re driving. The back gates are five minutes from the school. The department’s senior secretary is preparing a map that we can append to all the appointment letters, and she’ll get some temporary signage as soon as we agree on wording.’

‘And access to the department?’

This must be new territory for Lucas. Seven years ago, Thea had usually been the one to back down, in the face of two years’ seniority in their studies and Lucas’s seductive charm. Things were different now.

‘There’s a stairway between us and the department. We have easy access to the X-ray department, and there’s a counselling suite next door, which I can annex for our use if we need it.’

‘You seem to have all the answers.’

Not by a very long way. But she knew her own hospital better than he did at least. ‘It’s agreed, then?’

A smile twitched at the side of his mouth, and Thea ignored it. ‘Yes. Agreed.’

CHAPTER TWO

Day Two

THE MEETING CONVENED at eight o’clock the next morning, with Lucas sitting at the head of the table as if he owned it. He was indisputably at the helm, guiding them through the long agenda with the minimum of fuss. When Lucas put his mind to something, Thea had never seen him fail.

‘My office.’ Michael gathered up his papers from the desk, murmuring the words as he walked behind Thea towards the door, and she followed him out of the room. Her professionalism had slipped just once that morning. Lucas had made a joke and she’d responded a little too quickly and with a bit too much bite. It wouldn’t happen again but Michael didn’t miss much.

‘Any concerns?’ Michael had closed the door of his office behind them and waved her to a seat.

‘I don’t think so. This is much as I’d expected—’

‘You know Dr West?’

‘Yes.’ Thea gave up the pretence that she’d been clinging to all morning. She supposed that it would all come out sooner or later anyway. ‘I know him. He worked at the hospital where I trained.’

Michael nodded her on. He obviously wasn’t done yet, and it was unlikely he’d let her out of here until he was.

‘We went out for a while. Two years, actually. I haven’t seen him since then.’

‘Hmm.’ Michael was obviously weighing up the information. ‘Ran its course?’

‘He had plans to work abroad. I’d only just finished medical school and had my two years’ foundation training still to do. I had my career to consider.’

Michael looked about as convinced as Thea felt that this was all there was to it. ‘Okay. I won’t pry any further into things that don’t concern me. All I really need to know is whether you can work with him effectively.’

Thea had been willing to put her career on hold for Lucas once. Once was enough. She wasn’t going to lose this job over something that had been over for seven years.

‘I always had a great deal of respect for Lucas’s abilities and I still do. I’m qualified for this job, and I want to do it well. I’m confident that the same goes for him.’

‘All right.’ Michael leaned back in his chair, a flip of his hand indicating that she was off the hook. ‘Go do it. Remember that my door’s always open.’

Lucas hadn’t failed to notice that Thea had followed her boss out of the conference room, probably responding from some signal from Michael. They’d been gone for ten minutes now, and he guessed that they were talking about him.

Fair enough. It was pretty much par for the course that everyone talked about an external consultant, weighing him up, deciding how capable he was. Lucas took it for granted and concentrated on proving himself. But this was different. He was half expecting to be summoned to Michael Freeman’s office and discreetly informed that Thea would no longer be working directly with him, as if he posed some kind of threat to her.

He waited. The half-open door of the conference room suddenly swung wide and Thea was in the doorway. ‘I’ve just spoken with Michael’s secretary. The microbiology results are in.’

There was an assurance in her face that said that something had been discussed and a decision made. Whatever the details, Lucas couldn’t help but applaud the outcome, because it had brought her back to him.

Responding to a silent alert, she consulted her pager. ‘Sorry, got to go. I’m needed up on the ward.’

‘Our TB case?’ When she nodded her assent, he picked up his papers and buttoned his jacket. He had heard all about the isolation procedures and the patient’s condition at the meeting, but he wanted to check on both. ‘I’ll walk with you.’

Lucas fell into step beside her, following her through the twists and turns of the hospital corridors. She was walking so fast that he had to lengthen his stride to keep up with her. ‘Microbiology?’ Lucas reminded her.

‘Ah, yes. It’s been confirmed as TB—a partially drug-resistant strain, which has markers in common with a known strain found in the Birmingham area a year ago.’

‘I’ll get the notes on which drug regime worked best there. The patient has contacts in Birmingham?’

‘Not as far as I know. We got some details from the wife, but I was reckoning on interviewing her more fully after we’d liaised with you.’ She smiled suddenly and the Thea he knew broke from the shell of the woman she’d become. Eager for the task ahead and ready to face its challenges.

After the bustling hospital corridors, the isolation suite was like an oasis of regulated calm. A nursing station gave access to four separate rooms, each entered via a small lobby. Dispensers at each door held protective masks, gloves and aprons.

Automatically, Lucas’s gaze flipped to the pressure gauge at the side of the door. In order to eliminate the spread of airborne particles containing mycobacterium tuberculosis, the room should be kept under negative pressure.

It was. The whole place seemed to exude a smug pride, telling him he could look as hard as he liked, everything was being done by the book. Quiet and efficient, even if the masks and aprons of the nursing staff did lend an impersonal touch.

And then there was Thea. She approached the man in the bed, who was coughing painfully and being supported in a sitting position by a nurse. Lucas could hear the scrape of lungs that couldn’t do their job properly screaming for air.

‘Hey, there, Derek.’ Despite the mask, Lucas could see her smile. It leaked out of her, in her posture, the way she touched the back of his hand with her gloved fingertips. Her eyes. It struck Lucas that if the last thing he ever saw was her eyes, warm and full of compassion, then he’d be a happy man.

‘Not so good today, I see.’ Derek was fighting for breath and so Thea voiced both sides of the conversation. ‘Okay, let’s have a listen to your chest.’

She nodded to the nurse, who helped her pull the gown away from Derek’s back. A careful, thorough examination seemed to confirm what was already obvious. Overnight, Derek’s condition had deteriorated, and the fluid on his lungs was now making it painful and difficult to breathe.

‘Good. You’re doing great.’ Thea helped the nurse settle Derek back onto the pillows. ‘I think that we can make you more comfortable, though.’

That smile again. And suddenly, in response, Derek’s face seemed to throw off the anonymity of pain. He was no longer just a patient, defined by what treatment the hospital could give. He was a man in his thirties, sandy hair, blue eyes. Who had a wife and a job and a life outside these walls.

And a sense of humour. Thea made a joke, the nurse laughed, and Derek’s eyes suddenly lit up. She patted his hand and gave him a wave, before sweeping out of the room, leaving Lucas to follow her.

Outside, she was all business. Standing by the glazed wall of the isolation room so that Derek could see she was still there, she looked up at Lucas, her gaze serious.

‘I was hoping that the pleural effusion would stay stable.’

‘We need to do a thoracentesis.’ Lucas provided the obvious answer. ‘You have a mobile ultrasound unit available?’

‘Yes. I’ll get it up here.’

‘The sooner the better. I think we should consider a drain as well.’

She nodded.

‘He has no blood coagulation issues?’

‘No. And he understands what’s happening and is co-operative. We can keep him calm while we do the procedure.’

Lucas nodded, removing his jacket. ‘I’ll need to take a look at the notes.’

They’d fallen so easily into the familiar pattern. Lucas in the lead, studying Derek’s notes and issuing instructions. Thea liaising with the ward sister and overseeing preparations. With two years’ seniority to her, that had always been the way of it.

That had been the way of it seven years ago. Now this was her hospital. Her patient.

‘You’ll be sitting in on this one, then?’ She murmured the question quietly.

For a moment he seemed lost for an answer. ‘You’ve done this procedure before?’

What did he think she’d been doing for the last seven years? Lucas badly needed to catch up. ‘Yes, many times.’ She kept her voice low and professional, the barb in her words and not her tone. ‘Some of them in conditions you could barely imagine.’

She might just as well have slapped him. The sting hit home and for a moment she saw hurt in his eyes. ‘This is not about scoring points, Thea. It’s about patient welfare.’

‘So you’re in the habit of questioning the competence of the doctors you work with?’ Seven years ago she would have screamed the words at him. Now they were uttered quietly, between clenched teeth.

‘Okay, I get it. This is your hospital …’ His lip curled slightly.

‘What the hell happened to you, Lucas?’ Thea flushed red as she whispered the words. It might be inappropriate, but so what? The question had been on her mind ever since she’d first laid eyes on him yesterday.

‘I got real.’ He almost spat the words at her and then the consummate professional took over. ‘I will sit in if that’s okay with you.’

‘Of course.’ She turned on her heel and made her way back to Derek’s room to take a breath and oversee the preparations. Anger had no place here, and neither did personal issues between doctors. What mattered was the patient, and that her hand was sure and steady.

A nurse helped Derek into position, leaning forward, and offering encouragement and a hand to hold. Thea concentrated on her job, the precise insertion of a needle into Derek’s back in the spot indicated by the ultrasound scan. Fluid bubbled out from the pleural cavity, draining into a bag.

When it was done, a restrained burst of activity got Derek back comfortably into bed, and the room was cleared of the evidence of the procedure. Thea risked a glance in Lucas’s direction, and he gave her a small nod of approval. She shouldn’t need his acknowledgement, she knew for herself that everything had gone well. Maybe she’d just wanted it.

They were both treading on eggshells. Outwardly professional and confident but engaged in a private battle that had nothing to do with now and everything to do with their shared past. Lucas quirked his lips downwards. It wasn’t really the shared past that was the problem. It was the things they hadn’t shared, in the long years since he’d left her, that seemed to be the issue.

They were ready to leave the ward when a woman arrived. She looked tired, her dark hair scraped into a lank ponytail at the back of her head. Thea smiled, beckoning Lucas to follow her over.

‘Anna. This is Dr West, he’s working with me on Derek’s case.’

Anna gave Lucas a cursory nod. ‘How is Derek?’

‘He’s looking forward to seeing you. We did a procedure to drain the fluid from around his lungs this morning, and he should be much more comfortable now. Can we have a quick word with you?’

Somehow she managed to intimate that Lucas should follow them into the small area set aside for patients’ families, without actually looking at him. He wondered whether he should offer to fetch coffee and decided against it. As Thea was so keen that this was her hospital, she would be the one to know where the coffee machine was.

‘How’s it going, Anna? Did you get some sleep last night?’ Thea had sat down next to Anna and Lucas found a chair opposite them.

‘A bit. Actually, it’s almost a relief to know what’s wrong with him after all this time. I know it’s going to be difficult, but …’

‘You’ll have plenty of support, for as long as you need it.’ Thea turned her lovely eyes onto him and suddenly everything else melted away. ‘That’s where Dr West comes in.’

Anna turned her expectant gaze onto Lucas. ‘Yes?’

Lucas dragged his attention away from Thea and smiled at Anna. ‘Part of my job is to provide clear information and advice about tuberculosis. If you have any questions, you can ask the doctors here, or you can ask me.’

Anna took the printed card that he proffered, stowing it in her handbag. ‘Derek’s a teacher, you know. And he’s in a theatre group. But the last time he was there was before Christmas, when he painted the scenery for the pantomime. That was before he was ill.’

Anna was beginning to babble, and Lucas leaned forward to catch her attention. ‘It’s okay, Anna. We’ll go through all the people he’s been in contact with later.’

‘It’s just that I’m dreading what’s going to happen when everyone finds out about this.’

‘We realise that you’re in a difficult situation.’ He glanced at Thea, wondering if she felt that reassurance was her territory as well, but she simply nodded in agreement with him.

‘We put a lot of effort into making the community aware of the facts. And one of those facts is that tuberculosis is not easily transmitted from one person to another.’

Anna rolled her eyes, giving him a watery smile. ‘I understand that now. All the same, it feels as if it’s all around me. And my children …’

‘I saw in the notes that you have two children under five. And that they’ve both had their BCG.’

‘That’s right. I can’t help worrying, though. I bleached everything last night.’ Anna shivered, her gaze slewing around the room as if something was following her, waiting its chance to strike.

Giving her a leaflet wasn’t going to do it.

‘I can understand that, but you were probably wasting your time.’ Lucas shrugged. ‘Apart from working off a bit of steam?’

Anna chuckled, her shoulders relaxing slightly. ‘Yeah. I did that all right.’

‘Well, that’s something. Did you open the windows?’

‘No, I …’

Anna didn’t need to explain. Lucas had seen enough people instinctively shutting themselves in their houses, out of nameless fear. ‘Well, that’s what you need to do. Tuberculosis is transmitted aerobically and not via surfaces. Sunshine and fresh air are the best ways to eradicate the infection.’

Anna gave a snort of wry amusement. ‘That’s a nice thought.’

‘It happens to be scientifically true. But you’re quite at liberty to draw any metaphors you like from it.’ Both women were smiling now, and Lucas felt like a showman. One with a serious intent, who nonetheless got a buzz out of delighting his audience.

‘Okay. Now that Dr West has shed a little light on things …’ Thea paused to grimace at her own, truly dreadful, pun. ‘Dr West is going to be asking you about all the people who’ve been in close contact. I explained that to you yesterday.’

Anna nodded. ‘Yes. I want to help.’

Lucas nodded his thanks. ‘Why don’t you go and see Derek now, and I’ll come and find you in an hour? We’ll chat then, over a cup of coffee.’ He could find the machine. And if Thea wanted to join them, he’d get coffee for her as well.

The doors of the isolation unit clicked closed behind them. Lucas was strolling beside her, his jacket slung over one shoulder. ‘We’re agreed, then. You get to do the real work and leave the bureaucracy to me.’ He was grinning.

‘I didn’t say that.’ Thea attempted a severe look and failed. After all he’d done to assuage Anna’s fears it wasn’t easy to be angry with him.

‘My mistake. I could have sworn that was the general drift of it.’

She gave an exaggerated shrug. ‘Maybe I …’

‘Overreacted?’ He gave her a devastating smile.

‘Probably.’ She’d give him that. Asking him what the hell had happened to him hadn’t been entirely necessary.

‘Then you’ll admit that I haven’t gone over to the dark side.’

‘Don’t push it, Lucas. Anyway, there is no dark side.’ She couldn’t pretend that she hadn’t thought it. And Lucas had always been able to read her like a book.

‘Thank you.’ He gave her a self-satisfied smirk. ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’

CHAPTER THREE

Week Two

THE WEEK HAD flown by in a blur of activity. Lucas had visited the school where Derek Thompson taught, and had collected information from both Anna and Derek. The theatre group had been investigated, but since Derek had been asymptomatic for some months after he’d last seen any of its members, they were deemed to be at no risk of infection.

By the following Monday they had finalised a set of standard letters, along with lists of people to whom each should be sent. And Thea had convinced herself that there would be no more petty arguments between her and Lucas.

She had no reason to take him up on his assurances that he would be there if needed until the Friday evening, almost two weeks after the initial diagnosis of TB had been made. Dialling his mobile number, she wondered what she might hear in the background.

‘Thea. What’s the problem?’

That just about said it all. He knew she wouldn’t call him unless she had to.

‘There’s something I’d like to talk through with you. I’ve had a call from the local paper. I reckoned that was more your area of expertise than mine.’

Thea’s one horrific contact with the press in Bangladesh had taught her to avoid newsmen at all costs. Lucas’s world of measured responses and careful PR was far better equipped to deal with that than she was.

‘Right.’ A note of resignation sounded in his voice. ‘What did they have to say for themselves?’

‘They’ve been contacted by one of the parents at the school. They’re doing a piece and they offered us the chance to comment. And they need our response by tomorrow afternoon, before they go to press.’

He gave a short chuckle. ‘Nice one. Clearly hoping we’ll be uncontactable at the weekend.’

‘They do that sort of thing?’

‘It’s not unknown. I think we’ll be pleased to respond. Do you have a copy of the proposed article?’

‘No.’ Thea supposed she should have thought to ask for one but she’d wanted to get the reporter off the phone as quickly as possible.

‘Okay, give me their number and I’ll call them now. Can we meet up this evening to discuss this?’

‘I’ll wait here for you. How long will you be?’

‘I can’t get there tonight. But I’m only twenty minutes away from you, and Friday night is barbecue night. Come and join us.’

Us. It had crossed Thea’s mind that Lucas might be married, and she’d decided that was none of her concern. All the same, she wasn’t sure that she wanted to play happy families with him.

‘What about tomorrow morning? I don’t want to interrupt your evening.’

‘I’m working anyway. And there’s an old acquaintance I’d like you to meet.’

‘Who?’ He’d married someone she knew? Thea really didn’t want to know now.

‘You’ll see. I’ll text my address. Dinner’s in an hour.’

‘But … Lucas?’ She glared at the phone. He’d rung off.

It would serve him right if she just didn’t turn up. She could text him the reporter’s mobile number and leave him to deal with it. But not turning up might look as if she cared. Her phone beeped, and she looked at the screen.

She couldn’t remember the number, but this was the road his parents had lived in. Large houses set well back from the road behind iron railings. The kind of place that simply screamed money and respectability. Lucas had loved his family but had always claimed he wanted a different way of life.

Numbness settled over her. If he could look her in the eye, when he’d trashed all the values and ideals that had meant so much to him, then he really wasn’t the person she’d once known. If he could pretend that it didn’t matter, he was nothing to her.

She texted back her reply, together with the contact number for the newspaper reporter. Then she grabbed her coat and bag and made for the hospital car park.

The house was easy to find. It had to be the smallest in the road but it was still imposing enough, and stood next to the house that Thea had been to when she and Lucas had visited his parents. Travelling the world, eh? He hadn’t gone very far.

Even the dividing fence between his house and his parents’ had been taken out, one drive serving both properties now. Thea parked in the space next to Lucas’s car and took a moment to steady herself.

Climbing plants wound around the Victorian-style portico of his front door, and instead of a bell there was a heavy brass knocker in the shape of a dolphin. Almost as soon as she knocked on the door, it opened.

A teenage girl answered. Dark-eyed, with dark hair, she looked suspiciously like Lucas, but none of the sums added up. The girl was definitely a good bit more than seven years old. The thought that Lucas had been even more of a fraud that she’d bargained for floated into Thea’s mind.

‘Thea?’ The girl grinned at her as if she knew her. ‘Come in.’

She stepped into a large hallway and the girl closed the front door behind her. ‘You don’t know who I am, do you? I’m Ava.’

‘Lucas’s niece?’ The last time she’d seen Ava she had been six years old, and they’d played football together in the back garden while Lucas and his brother had argued about medical aid in the developing world.

‘Yes.’ When Ava smiled, she looked even more like Lucas. ‘I suppose I have changed a bit.’

‘It’s so nice to see you, Ava.’ It was such a relief to see her. Unless Lucas had another surprise hostess tucked up his sleeve somewhere. ‘You’re staying with your uncle?’

‘I live here.’ Ava wheeled around with impetuous energy. ‘I’ll show you around.’

‘Thank you. Where’s Lucas?’

‘Out back, lighting the barbecue. I’d stay clear if I were you. I always do.’ Ava danced back towards Thea, leaning in close as if she had a secret to impart. ‘He’s not very good at it.’

‘Which naturally makes him cross.’ Lucas never had liked being outmatched by anything.

‘Yep. He gets over it. When we see smoke signals coming over the horizon, it’ll be safe to come out of hiding.’ Ava opened one of the doors leading from the hallway. ‘Sitting room.’

Thea peered past Ava into the comfortable, bright sitting room. ‘Very nice.’

‘Dining room …’ Ava was on to the next room before Thea had a chance to even cross the threshold of the first.

‘Equally nice.’ Thea grinned at her.

‘Kitchen …’ Another door, which revealed a gleaming kitchen. ‘We won’t go in there.’

‘Very wise. Leave the cooking to Lucas.’

‘Do you remember when we roasted chestnuts in the fire on Bonfire Night?’ Ava didn’t stop for an answer. ‘Would you like to see my room?’

‘I’d love to. If you’d like to show it to me.’ Thea draped her coat over the banisters and put her heavy bag down in the corner. She felt suddenly lighter as she followed Ava up the stairs and into a large, stylishly decorated room.

‘I went on holiday with Gran and Grandpa, and when I got back Lucas had decorated it as a surprise. What do you think?’

‘It’s beautiful. He did all this?’

Ava nodded. ‘Yes. He said that I needed something a bit different now that I’m older. I think it’s turned out pretty well.’

‘It’s very sophisticated. I like the curtains.’ A bold, confident pattern of yellow, purple and green, the shades somehow blending perfectly together.

‘It’s an old fifties print. We went up to town to look at some fabrics. Lucas said it was for the conservatory.’

‘And you fell for it.’ Thea grinned.

‘He’s good with surprises, he never lets on.’

‘No, he doesn’t, does he?’ The time that Lucas had started driving, saying that they were going out for a pub lunch, and hadn’t stopped until they’d reached the ferry for France. When they’d reached dry land again they’d driven all night and watched the sun come up over the bright, glittering waters of the Mediterranean.

That was the old Lucas. The one who would have taken such delight in planning a surprise like this. The one that Thea had told herself was lost for ever.

Ava was gazing down, out of the window, and opened it in response to something below. Lucas’s voice floated upwards, along with a puff of charcoal smoke.

‘Are you listening for the door, Ava?’

‘Yes.’ Ava shut the window again abruptly and Thea suppressed a smile. What was it Lucas used to say? If you want the right answers, you have to ask the right questions.

Maybe she should take that advice too. But if she wanted to know why Ava was living here and not with her parents, she should either wait for Ava to volunteer the information or ask Lucas.

‘That’s a great place to work.’ She pointed to the desk, which sat in deep bay window on the far side of the room.

‘Yeah. I think that was a hint.’ Ava grinned wryly.

‘Exams next year?’ Thea couldn’t remember whether Ava was fourteen or fifteen now.

‘No, two years. I’m choosing my GCSE subjects now.’

She must be fourteen, then. ‘What do you want to do?’

‘History. I’m not sure about the rest, yet. I want to be an archaeologist.’

‘That sounds great.’

‘I’ve already been on a dig—last summer. They didn’t let us do much on our own, but it was pretty cool.’ Ava’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm. ‘Look.’

She grabbed Thea’s hand and led her over to the desk. Inside the alcove, a pinboard was fixed to the wall, covered in photographs. ‘That’s Lucas and me, with my find.’

Lucas had his arm around Ava’s shoulders and they were both pulling faces for the camera. Suddenly, seven years seemed like nothing. His hair looked as if it had been styled by the wind, and he was wearing a rock-band T-shirt that had seen better days. Longing reached into her stomach, gripped hard and then twisted.

‘That’s fabulous.’

‘Isn’t it? It’s Samian ware. That’s high-quality pottery from Italy or France that the Romans used to use.’

Thea dragged her eyes from Lucas’s face and focussed on the piece of broken pottery that Ava was holding up. ‘How interesting.’

‘Yeah. That piece of pottery came from something like that.’ Ava indicated a museum postcard of a glossy red bowl, with moulding around the base, pinned next to the photograph. ‘I saw it in one of the side trenches, where the settlement put all their rubbish, and they let me pick it up after it was photographed. I was the first person to touch it since it got thrown there. Can you imagine that?’

All that Thea could imagine at the moment was Lucas. ‘It must have been an amazing feeling.’ The board was like a memory board. Ava as she remembered her, a six-year-old with her parents. Then, growing up, with Lucas. Something must have happened and Thea dreaded to ask what that might have been.

‘There’s one of you here somewhere.’ Ava scanned the board and pointed to one at the top. Some older photos of Lucas, and in one of them he was sitting outside a tent, his arm around Thea.

‘Ah! I remember that. We were at Glastonbury.’ She’d looked so different then. It wasn’t just the hair or the clothes, she’d looked carefree. Thea wondered if Lucas found her as changed as she did him.

‘What did you do there? Lucas says you danced all night.’

Not all night. Thea and Lucas had loved to dance, but there had been another pastime that they’d loved even more. Alone in their tent, however many people were passing by outside and despite the lumps in the ground under her back. Or his.

‘Yes, we danced all night. Got pretty muddy and didn’t have any pieces of Samian pottery to show for it.’

Ava’s laugh was cut short by footsteps on the stairs. When Lucas appeared in the doorway it was as if time had rolled back, catapulting her into the place where she loved him. Maybe it was the photographs on Ava’s board. Maybe because of the way he was dressed. Jeans that fitted him like a glove and a rugby shirt that emphasised his broad shoulders so much better than a jacket and tie.

He threw Ava a reproachful look, which melted into the warmth that had been missing from his face over the last two weeks. ‘Do you ladies want to eat tonight?’

‘You want me to lay the table?’ That was obviously Ava’s job.

‘I’ve already done it. Perhaps you’d like to get Thea a drink?’

‘Oh. Yes. We were just talking about Glastonbury. She’s told me all your secrets …’ Ava continued provocatively.

‘All of them?’ A flicker at the side of one eye as his gaze met Thea’s.

‘Every one of them. How we danced all night.’ That was all Ava needed to know, and anyway it wasn’t her place to give away Lucas’s secrets. Suddenly it mattered a great deal that there were things that only she and Lucas shared, that only they remembered.

He gave her an almost imperceptible nod and then an exaggerated shrug for Ava’s benefit. ‘Guess I’ve been rumbled, then. What do you want me to agree to this time?’

‘Nothing yet. I’m storing it up for use later.’ Ava shot him a grin and Lucas laughed, putting his arm around her shoulder.

‘Okay. I’ll consider myself warned. Now, hurry up, or dinner’s going to be burned to a crisp.’

‘She seems like a handful.’ They’d eaten and Ava had disappeared into the house. Lucas tilted the half-empty bottle of wine towards Thea and she shook her head. ‘No more, thanks. I’m driving.’

‘She keeps me on my toes. Most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.’ He propped his feet up on the empty chair opposite him, leaning back to catch the evening sun.

‘You’ve done a great job. How long has she lived with you?’

‘Since she was seven. Her parents were killed in a car crash.’

Thea had steeled herself to hear something like that, but it was still a shock. ‘I’m sorry, Lucas. I liked your brother and his wife very much.’

‘Yeah.’ He ran his finger thoughtfully around the rim of his glass. ‘They were good people.’

‘When did it happen?’

‘They were killed four days before I was due to leave for Bangladesh. We were all at my parents’ house, for some family time before I went away, and they’d gone out to run some errands. Left Ava behind with me.’ His voice was flat, matter-of-fact. ‘I had to tell Ava that her mother and father weren’t coming back, my mother couldn’t do it.’

‘That must have been terribly hard for you.’

‘All I could think about was her. I promised her then that I’d look after her, and I have. My mother and father talked about adopting her, but then my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. So I adopted Ava and Mum concentrated on getting well.’

‘She’s okay now?’

‘Yeah, she’s been clear for four years now. Ava’s home is with me, but she spends a lot of time with my parents. It seems to work.’

He still hadn’t answered the most important question. ‘And what about you?’

‘Me?’ He put his hand on his chest, as if to check that he was really the object of her concern. ‘What about me?’

He’d lost his brother and sister-in-law. His mother had been seriously ill, and he’d given up his own dreams to take on the challenge of caring for a grieving six-year-old. ‘It was a lot for you to deal with as well.’

Lucas shook his head. ‘Not as much as Ava or my mother. They were the ones …’ His words tailed off into a remembrance of grief.

‘You always seemed to want to go to Bangladesh so much.’

‘I did, once upon a time.’ Did he class his time with her like that too? A distant fairy story, which had no bearing on reality?

‘But not now?’

He turned to look at her, his gaze searching her face. ‘No, not now. We all have dreams, and then we grow out of them.’

They were almost the hardest words she’d heard tonight. ‘Is that why you asked me here? To meet Ava?’

‘You rang me.’ He seemed to relax the tight grip he had on his emotions a little. ‘I’m glad you came. Ava remembers you and she’s been wanting to see you again.’

No mention of his own feelings. It was as if the tragedy of losing his brother and the sudden responsibility of a child had quenched the passion that had so defined Lucas. Seeing him so changed … It would almost have been better never to have seen him at all.

‘It’s been good to be here.’

* * *

There was something he needed to get out of the way. Lucas told himself that it was all about their professional relationship and nothing about the personal. ‘I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d refused to work with me. After the way that I left.’

‘I always knew what you wanted to do. I supported you in that.’ She shrugged, as if it really didn’t matter.

He’d had time to reflect on the mistake he’d made in breaking up with her, and he knew now that it did matter. ‘I called you. Before the funeral. I couldn’t get through on your mobile and I didn’t want to leave a message. So I tried the house you used to share.’

‘What did they say?’

‘That you’d gone abroad. That you wouldn’t want to speak to me.’

She took a deep breath and a gulp of her wine.

‘I didn’t blame you, Thea. I’d half expected you to refuse to speak to me.’

She shook her head. ‘That was … I got drunk one night and said it to the girls I lived with. I didn’t mean it. Of course I would have spoken to you.’

‘Where did you go?’ Suddenly it was important that he knew.

Her gaze was on his face now and her cheeks were starting to burn red. ‘I went to Bangladesh. It was my last summer before I started work and I thought it would be nice to drop in and see where you were staying. For a bit of a holiday …’

It was all falling into place. An exquisitely timed tragedy. He had left Thea, planning to spend a fortnight with his family before going to Bangladesh. And in that fortnight everything had changed. Sam and Claire had died. And however casual she made it sound, there was no doubt in his mind that Thea had decided to go to Bangladesh to find him.

‘I’m sorry I missed you.’

‘It wasn’t your fault. I’m just sorry that I never knew about Sam and Claire.’

He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, but he couldn’t find a way to tell her that. It was almost a relief when she reached briskly for the pile of papers that she’d propped on the windowsill behind her.

‘Thanks for tonight, but I’m really tired. Could I call you tomorrow morning to discuss our reply to the newspaper article?’

That would be good. There were far too many questions swimming in his head at the moment to concentrate on anything. ‘Yes, of course. I’ll be around all morning.’

Thea felt sick. She stopped the car, wondering whether it would be better to reach for the empty shopping bag under the seat, stick her fingers down her throat and get it over with.

Probably not. The feeling was in her chest and nothing to do with her stomach.

He’d had good reasons for not being on that plane. He’d called her. If she’d known either of those things, what had happened next might have been very different. Instead, she’d been too proud to contact Lucas and had continued on a path that would lead to disgrace.

She switched on the car radio and then thought better of it, punching the ‘off’ button. The radio had turned into something like a game of Russian roulette, never knowing whether the next track would be the one which reminded her of Lucas.

Just drive. Go home. Get some sleep. She had put her life back together again, piece by piece, but Thea knew that it was still a shaky structure. And Lucas had already broken her heart once. Long and slow, bit by bit, from the moment he’d left her to the time she’d realised he wasn’t in Bangladesh. If she was going to keep it all together now, she had to somehow stop caring about him.

CHAPTER FOUR

Week Three

SHE LOOKED LOVELY, almost like the young woman he’d once known. Apart from her hair, and Lucas was getting used to that and actually thought it rather suited her. It was just that he remembered when it had tumbled down her back. When he’d let it slide through his fingers. The night she’d lain on her back while he’d brushed it out in a shining circle around her head. It had been as if they’d been making love on golden sheets.

No more fairy tales. Thea was more like a pageboy than a princess now, seeming to go out of her way to be inconspicuous. A ferocious, committed pageboy, and today a rather glamorous one, who wore a neat, dark jacket and skirt instead of her usual trousers. Her gleaming hair was brushed in a don’t-mess-with-me arrangement and she had a little make-up on. Small changes that were killing Lucas, because at this moment all he wanted to do was mess with her.

The press conference was at two that afternoon, and Thea had disappeared just when he wanted to do a final run-through of the answers to all the expected questions. No one in the department had seen her, she wasn’t in the canteen, and the incident team’s office was empty.

Not quite empty. There was no answer when he called her name but a rustle and the sound of laboured breathing from behind a door in the corner told him that someone was there. Lucas didn’t think he’d ever actually opened that door, reckoning that it was probably a cupboard of some sort.

It was. A large store cupboard, intended to hold the medical supplies for the adjoining clinic. When Lucas opened the door, Thea was perched precariously on the windowsill, breathing into a paper bag.

‘Thea?’ He advanced towards her and she almost shrank from him, her breath coming faster now. Lucas stopped, three feet away from her. ‘Are you all right?’

Of course she wasn’t. Her breathing was fast and irregular, overfilling her lungs with oxygen. The paper bag didn’t seem to be helping at all, because she could hardly hold it to her lips.

She couldn’t speak but she motioned him away angrily, as if it was his fault that he’d seen the weakness behind her veneer. Lucas put the sheaf of papers he was carrying onto one of the shelves that lined the wall and walked slowly towards her. Even that seemed to spook her.

‘Can you walk?’

She ignored him completely. Even if she could walk, she obviously wasn’t intending to go anywhere with him. Lucas turned and flipped the lock on the door, wondering how incriminating it would look if anyone found them locked in a store cupboard together. As long as her boss didn’t hear of it, he was probably in the clear.

‘You’re all right.’ He held the crumpled paper bag to her lips. ‘Just breathe.’

Her eyes were wild, the way he’d used to love them, but she did what he asked. Lucas counted out the breaths, his hand light on her back as reassurance, and slowly she began to calm.

‘Would you like some water?’

She just looked at him so Lucas fetched the bottle of water he’d been carrying with his papers. Held it to her lips and she sipped a little, gratefully.

‘What’s going on, Thea?’ Once upon a time she would’ve told him. Things were different now.

‘I’m okay. Just a little tired.’

‘Yeah. Pull the other one.’ He said the words gently. ‘Tired doesn’t give you panic attacks.’

‘I just need a minute. Don’t fuss.’

So that was how she intended to play it. As a doctor, there was little more that Lucas could do, and he had no intention of rekindling their relationship. Nothing said they couldn’t be friends, though. He sat down beside her on the windowsill, put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug.

He felt her stiffen and then relax. Lucas had thought he remembered how good her body felt against his, but he hadn’t. It was almost impossible to hold her without kissing her.

His lips formed the shape of a kiss into the air above her head. A fragile thing that died as soon as it was born, instead of leading into a smile and then something delicious. Lucas held her for a few moments more and then gently drew back.

‘Are you going to tell me what’s going on?’

She shook her head. ‘No.’

‘Okay, then. Keep it to yourself.’

That got the ghost of a smile from her. ‘We should make a move. You don’t want to be late for your public.’

‘You need to rest.’

‘I do not.’

‘Have it your own way. I’m not taking you into a press conference wondering if you’ll be whipping out a paper bag to breathe into any moment. It’s not the most reassuring look.’

‘You don’t need to wonder. I’ve had my moment.’

She seemed steady enough now, if a little washed out. Lucas got to his feet. ‘Stay here. I’ll handle it.’

‘We agreed that you and someone from the hospital should attend. Provide a cohesive response.’

‘Michael Freeman’s here. I’ll ask him to stand in.’

A look of alarm crossed her face and he sat down again, wondering if he was going to need the paper bag again.

‘You will not. This is my job.’

‘Something to prove?’

‘Yes, of course I do. Don’t tell me that you’re any different.’

Thea wasn’t fearless, never had been. Only those with no understanding of the consequences of a situation were completely without fear. But this was the response she’d always given to things that frightened her. She faced them, just to show who was boss.

‘I need to know, then.’

She shrugged. ‘I don’t much like the idea of sitting in front of a crowd of people and being photographed. I’ve never been at a press conference before.’

‘Well, it’s not much like TV. No shouting and flashing bulbs, they’re usually quite civilised.’ He grinned. ‘The ones I give are, anyway.’

‘That’s a relief.’

He chanced another question. ‘I hope you didn’t mind that I let Ava have your photograph to put on her board.’

For a moment she truly didn’t see the connection, and then understanding dawned on her face. ‘Of course not. It was nice to see it again.’

He nodded. ‘So you don’t mind old photos—just new ones.’

She looked at him with that blank expression that signalled something she didn’t want to talk about. ‘Something like that.’

‘Okay. I’ll figure it out.’

Half the puzzle had fallen into place, leaving the other half even more tantalisingly unknown than before. Everything that Thea did now seemed focussed on not drawing too much attention to herself. All he needed to know now was why that was so important to her.

‘Look, let’s just go and get this done.’ The old Thea surfaced suddenly. The one who didn’t let anything get in her way, not even him. If she had the assembled newsmen as firmly under her spell as she did him, they’d have nothing to worry about.

‘Wait a minute …’ He walked to the door, listening to make sure that no one was outside. He didn’t have a plan for what he might do if he heard anything.

She slid past him and opened the door, to reveal an empty office. ‘I don’t imagine anyone’s got a problem with our inspecting the stockroom, have they?’

He followed her outside, grinning. ‘No. I don’t imagine they have.’

Thea braved it out. She didn’t feel all that brave and she was embarrassed that Lucas had found her having a panic attack in a cupboard, but he seemed to take that in his stride. He didn’t leave her side, ushering her to her seat and sitting down next to her. His bulk, the way he naturally drew everyone’s attention and seemed to absorb it with ease, was reassuring. She could do this. There would be no repeat of Bangladesh, no shouting, no name-calling. This was just a group of men and women, with notepads and voice recorders, who asked all the expected questions.

‘Splendid!’ Michael Freeman was smiling as they left their seats and the crowd in the room started to mingle. ‘I thought that went very well.’

‘Thanks.’

‘You showed a collaborative working relationship, with everyone in agreement as to the best way to proceed.’ Michael fixed her with a questioning look.

‘That’s how it is, Michael.’

‘You’d tell me if it wasn’t.’

‘Of course. This is too important—’ Thea broke off as a reporter with a camera appeared right in front of them.

‘Can I have a picture?’

‘Delighted. You’re from …?’ Suddenly Lucas was there, and it seemed that the camera was no longer pointing her way. Thea realised that she’d instinctively taken a few steps back, shrinking from the lens, and that Lucas had put himself in between her and the cameraman.

‘The local paper. You commented on our article.’

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