A Knight for Nurse Hart
Laura Iding

www.millsandboon.co.uk

Table of Contents

Cover Page

Full Title Page

Dear Reader

About the Author

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Copyright

Dear Reader

You met Emergency Nurse Raine Hart in THE NURSE’S BROODING BOSS, and I felt compelled to write her story. You may remember Raine as Elana’s light-hearted and fun-loving friend—only now circumstances have changed, and unfortunately Raine isn’t quite the same person as she was before.

Emergency Physician Caleb Stewart dated Raine for a few months, then they decided to take a break—mostly because Caleb couldn’t quite get over his deeply rooted trust issues. Now he wants a second chance, but Raine isn’t sure she can lower her defences enough to give him one.

Writing about characters who need to overcome massive hurdles in order to find themselves and to find love is always a challenge. This book was no exception. Raine and Caleb met at the wrong time, but in the end everything happened for a reason and they both grew stronger and closer to each other as a result.

I hope you enjoy Raine and Caleb’s story.

Happy reading!

Laura Iding

PS I love to hear from my readers, so drop by my website at www.lauraiding.com and send me a message if you have time.

LAURA IDING loved reading as a child, and when she ran out of books she readily made up her own, completing a little detective mini-series when she was twelve. But, despite her aspirations for being an author, her parents insisted she look into a ‘real’ career. So the summer after she turned thirteen she volunteered as a Candy Striper, and fell in love with nursing. Now, after twenty years of experience in trauma/critical care, she’s thrilled to combine her career and her hobby into one—writing Medical™ Romances for Mills & Boon. Laura lives in the northern part of the United States, and spends all her spare time with her two teenage kids (help!)—a daughter and a son—and her husband.

Chapter One

“RAINE! You’re here? Working Trauma again?” Sarah greeted her when she walked into the trauma bay fifteen minutes before the regular start of her shift.

Emergency nurse Raine Hart smiled at her co-worker. “Yes, I’m back. Working in the minor care area for a few weeks was a nice reprieve and a lot less stress. But I confess I’ve missed being a part of the action.”

“Well, we sure missed you, too. And I’m so glad you came in early,” Sarah said, quickly changing the subject from Raine’s four-week hiatus from Trauma to her own personal issues. “I have to leave right away to pick-up my son, he’s running a fever at the day care and there’s a new trauma coming in.” Sarah thrust the trauma pager into her hands as if it were a hot potato. “ETA is less than five minutes.”

“No problem.” Raine accepted the pager, feeling a tiny thrill of anticipation. She hadn’t been lying, she really had missed the excitement of working in the trauma bay. She scrolled through the most recent text message from the paramedic base. Thirty-year-old female with blunt trauma to the head with poor vital signs. Not good. “Sounds like it’s been busy.”

“Crazy busy,” Sarah agreed. “Like I said, we missed you. Sorry I have to run, but I’ll see you, tomorrow.”

“Bye, Sarah.” Raine clipped the pager to the waistband of her scrubs, and swept a glance over the room. It looked as if Sarah had everything ready to go for the next patient. She was secretly relieved to start off her first trauma shift with a new admission. She’d rather be busy—work was a welcome distraction from her personal problems. Raine was thankful her boss had kept her real reason for being away from Trauma a secret, telling her co-workers only that she’d been off sick, and then reassigned to Minor Care to work in a less stressful environment on doctor’s orders. After three weeks in Minor Care, she was more than ready for more intense nursing.

So here she was, back in the trauma bay. Raine took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, determined to keep the past buried deep, where it belonged.

She could do this, no problem.

“No sign of our trauma patient yet?” a low husky, familiar voice asked.

She sucked in a harsh breath and swung around to stare at Dr. Caleb Stewart in shocked surprise. According to the posted schedule, Brock Madison was supposed to be the emergency physician on duty in the trauma bay tonight. Obviously, he and Caleb must have switched shifts.

“Not yet.” Her mouth was sandpaper dry and she desperately searched for something to say. Caleb looked great. Better than great. Better than she’d remembered. But she hadn’t been prepared to face him. Not yet. She hadn’t seen him since they’d decided to take a break from their relationship just over a month ago.

She couldn’t ignore a sharp pang of regret. If only she’d tried harder to work things out. But she hadn’t.

And now it was too late.

Thankfully, before he could say anything more, the doors of the trauma bay burst open, announcing the arrival of their patient. Instantly, controlled chaos reigned.

“Becca Anderson, thirty years old, vitals dropping, BP 86 over 40, pulse tachy at 128,” the paramedic standing at the patient’s head announced. “Her GCS was only 5 in the field, so we intubated her. She probably needs fluids but we’ve been concerned about brain swelling, and didn’t want to make her head injury worse.”

Raine took her place on the left side of their trauma patient, quickly drawing the initial set of blood samples they’d need in order to care for Becca. Luckily, the rhythm of working in Trauma came back instantly, in spite of her four-week absence. Amy, one of the other nurses, came up on the right side to begin the initial assessment. One of the ED techs cut off the patient’s clothes to give them better access to any hidden injuries.

“Raine, as soon as you’re finished with those labs, we need to bump up her IV fluids and start a vasopresser, preferably norepinephrine,” Caleb ordered. “Shock can kill her as much as a head injury.”

“Left pupil is one millimeter larger than the right,” Amy informed them. “I can’t feel a major skull fracture, just some minor abrasions on the back of her scalp. It’s possible she has a closed cranial trauma.”

Raine’s stomach dropped at the news. Patients with closed cranial trauma had the worst prognosis. When the brain swelled there was no place for it to go, often resulting in brain death. And Becca was too young to die.

Suddenly, she was fiercely glad Caleb was the physician on duty. Despite their differences, she knew he’d work harder than anyone to make sure their patient survived. Determined to do her part, Raine took her fistful of blood tubes over to the tube system to send them directly to the laboratory. En route, she noticed two uniformed police officers were standing back, watching the resuscitation. It wasn’t unusual to have law enforcement presence with trauma patients, so she ignored them as she rushed back to increase their patient’s IV fluids and to start a norepinephrine drip.

“We need a CT scan of her head, stat. Any other signs of internal injuries?” Caleb demanded.

“Bruises on her upper arms,” Raine said, frowning at the dark purple spots that seemed to match the size and shape of fingertips. She hung the medication and set the pump to the appropriate rate as she talked. “Give me a minute and we’ll roll her over to check her back.” She finished the IV set-up and took a moment to double-check she’d done everything correctly.

“I’ll help.” Caleb stepped next to Raine, adding his strength to pulling the patient up and over onto her side, so Amy could assess the patient’s backside. Caleb was close, too close. She bit her lip, forcing herself not to overreact at the unexpected warmth when his arm brushed against hers.

Memories of the wonderful times together crashed through her mind and she firmly shoved them aside. Their relationship was over. She wasn’t the same person she’d been back then.

And they had a critically ill patient to care for.

“A few minor abrasions on her upper shoulders, nothing major,” Amy announced. Raine and Caleb gently rolled the patient onto her back.

“She’s the victim of a domestic dispute,” one of the police officers said, stepping forward. “Her husband slammed her head against the concrete driveway, according to witnesses.”

Dear God, how awful. A small-town girl at heart, Raine had moved to the big city of Milwaukee just two years ago after finishing college. But she still wasn’t used to some of the violent crime victims they inevitably cared for. She tried to wipe the brutal image from her mind.

“Raine?” Caleb’s voice pierced her dark thoughts. “Call Radiology and arrange for a CT scan.”

She nodded and hurried to the phone. Within minutes, she had Becca packed up and ready to go.

“I’m coming with you,” Caleb said, as she started pushing the cart towards the radiology suite next door. Thankfully the hospital had had the foresight to put the new radiology department right next to the emergency department. “I don’t like the way her heart rate is continuing to climb. Could be partially due to the norepinephrine, but it could also be her head injury getting worse.”

She couldn’t argue because Becca’s vital signs were not very stable. Usually the physicians only came along on what the nurses referred to as road trips, for the worstcase scenarios.

As Becca’s blood pressure dropped even further, Raine grimly acknowledged this was one of those times she would be glad to have physician support.

She was all too aware of Caleb’s presence as they wheeled the patient’s gurney into the radiology suite. There were unspoken questions in his eyes when he glanced at her, but he didn’t voice them. She understood—this was hardly the time or the place for them to talk about the mistakes they’d made in the past. About what might have been.

She kept her gaze focused on their patient and the heart monitor placed at the foot of her bed. They were only part way into the scan when Becca’s blood pressure dropped to practically nothing.

“Get her out of there,” Caleb demanded. The radiology tech hurried to shut down the scanner so they could pull the patient out from the scanner opening. “Crank up her norepinephrine drip.”

Raine was already pushing buttons on the IV pump. But then the pump began to alarm. She looked at the swollen area above the patient’s antecubital peripheral IV. “I think her IV is infiltrated.”

Caleb muttered a curse under his breath and grabbed a central line insertion set off the top of the crash cart the radiology tech had wisely brought in. “Then we’ll put a new central line in her right now.”

“Here?” the radiology tech asked incredulously.

Caleb ignored him. Raine understood—they couldn’t afford to lose another vein. A central line would be safer in the long run. Anticipating his needs, she quickly placed sterile drapes around the patient’s neck, preparing the insertion site as Caleb donned sterile gloves. Luck or possibly divine intervention was on his side when he hit the subclavian vein on the first try.

“Here’s the medication,” Raine said, handing over the end of the IV tubing she’d disconnected from the non-working IV.

The moment Caleb connected the tubing, she administered a small bolus to get the medication into her patient’s bloodstream quicker, since the woman’s blood pressure was still non-existent and her heart rate was dropping too. For a moment, Raine held her breath, but their patient responded well and her blood pressure soon returning to the 80s systolic. Caleb anchored the line with a suture and then quickly dressed the site.

But they weren’t out of the woods yet. Worried, she glanced at Caleb. “Should we complete the scan?” she asked.

He gave a curt nod, his expression grave. One of the things she liked best about Caleb was that he didn’t build a wall around himself to protect his emotions. He sincerely cared about his patients. “We have to. The neurosurgeons are going to need to see the films in order to decide whether or not to take her to surgery.”

The radiology tech didn’t look very happy at the prospect, but took his place to continue running the scan. Raine and Caleb together slid the patient back onto the exam table. She was startled when he took her arm, and instinctively pulled away. She winced when she realized what she’d done, knowing he’d done nothing to deserve her reaction. Her issues, not his.

His stormy gray eyes darkened with hurt confusion but she avoided the questioning look he shot her way. She felt bad about hurting him again, but at that moment her patient’s heart monitor alarmed so she was forced to go over to adjust the alarm limits. The ten-minute exam seemed excruciatingly long, but they finally finished the procedure.

Caleb didn’t say anything as they pushed the gurney back to the trauma bay. The moment they arrived, he crossed over to page the neurosurgeon to discuss the best course of action for their patient.

“Becca?” Raine glanced over at the shrill voice. She saw Amy bringing in a woman who looked to be a few years younger than their patient. “Oh, my God, Becca. What did he do to you?”

Raine had to turn away from the crying woman who clutched their patient’s hand.

“Her sister, Mari,” Amy said in a low tone. “I had to let her in because I’m betting Becca will be going to the OR ASAP.”

“Of course you did,” Raine said, but her voice sounded far away, as if she was speaking through a long tunnel. She’d wanted to be busy, but maybe she’d been overconfident. Maybe she wasn’t ready for the trauma room just yet. Maybe she should have stayed longer in the minor care area of the ED, where they didn’t deal with anything remotely serious.

Her eyes burned and she fought the need to cry right along with Mari. She turned away, to give them some privacy and to pull herself together. She went over to the computer to look up Becca’s most recent labs.

“Raine? Are you all right?” Caleb asked, coming up to the computer workstation.

“Of course.” She subtly loosened her grip on the edge of the desk and forced herself to meet his gaze, hoping he couldn’t tell how emotionally fragile she was. It was far too tempting to lean on Caleb’s strength. To confide in him. If things had been different…

But they weren’t. Reminding herself that she needed to find her own strength to work through her past, she waved a hand at the computer screen. “Did you see these latest results? Her electrolytes are way out of whack.”

He gave her an odd look, but then nodded. “Get her prepped for the OR. Dr. Lambert wants her up there ASAP.”

“Okay.” Raine abandoned her computer and jumped to her feet. She hurried over to Becca’s bedside and told Amy and Mari the news.

Within moments she and Amy transported Becca up to the OR, releasing her into the hands of the neurosurgeons. There was nothing else they could do for now but wait.

Raine tried to push Becca’s fate out of her mind since she and Caleb had done everything she could for the patient. But concentrating on her job wasn’t easy. Especially when she could feel Caleb’s gaze following her as she worked.

She could tell he wanted to talk. The very thought filled her with dread. She couldn’t talk to him now, no matter how much she wished she could.

It was too late. She’d missed her chance to take his calls weeks ago. Better now to focus her energy on moving forward rather than rehashing the past.

What she and Caleb had once shared was over.

“Dr. Stewart?” He glanced up when Raine called his name. “I think you’d better check Mrs. Ambruster’s chest X-ray. Her breathing has gotten dramatically worse.”

Caleb scowled at the formal way she addressed him. They’d dated for almost two months, had shared more than one passionate kiss. He knew it was his fault that she’d requested a break from their relationship but, still, hadn’t they moved well beyond the Dr. Stewart stage?

“Sure.” A surge of regret washed over him. Seeing Raine again made him realize he’d never gotten over her. Not completely. If only he’d handled things differently. If only he hadn’t been such an ass.

He’d heard she’d moved over to the minor care area because she’d needed a break from Trauma. He knew full well she’d really needed a break from him.

And he’d missed working with her, more than he’d wanted to acknowledge.

He gave himself a mental shake. This wasn’t the time or the place. He crossed over to the patient, who had come in with vague flu-like symptoms that he was beginning to suspect was something much more complicated. Using the closest computer terminal, he pulled up the patient’s chest X-ray. Raine was right, the patient’s breathing must be severely compromised as the X-ray looked far worse. He suspected the large shadow was a tumor and likely the cause of a massive infiltrate on the right side of her lungs, but she would need more of a work-up to be sure. “How much O2 do you have her on?”

“Six liters.”

He frowned. “Crank her up to ten liters per minute and prepare for a thoracentisis.”

Raine did as he asked, although he noticed she gave him a wide berth whenever he came too close.

He was troubled by the way Raine was acting. He regretted the way he’d overreacted that night and had tried to call her several times to apologize but she hadn’t returned his calls. Did she still blame him? Was it impossible for her to forgive him?

Seeing her tonight brought his old feelings back to the surface. Along with the same sexual awareness that had shimmered between them from the very first time they’d met.

But as much as that sensation was still there, something was off. He’d noticed right from the start of their shift how her usual enthusiasm was missing. Maybe it was just the seriousness of their domestic violence patient, but they’d shared tough shifts before. Somehow this was different, especially the way she seemed to avoid him whenever he came too close.

Maybe she was worried he’d ask her out again. And he had to admit, the thought had crossed his mind. More than once. Sure, he’d made a stupid mistake before, but didn’t he deserve a second chance?

Apparently, Raine wasn’t willing to grant him one.

He turned to their elderly patient, focusing on the procedure he needed to do. He put on a face mask and then donned sterile gown and gloves, while Raine prepped the patient. He lifted the needle and syringe in his hand and gently probed the space between the fourth and fifth ribs. He numbed the area with lidocaine and then picked up the longer needle used to aspirate the fluid. Slowly, he advanced the needle.

He hit the pocket of fluid and held the needle steady while the site drained. Once he’d taken off almost a liter of fluid, their patient’s oxygen saturation improved dramatically.

“Place a dressing over this site, would you?” he asked Raine. “And we need to send a sample of this fluid to Pathology.” Stepping back, he stripped off his sterile garb. Once she’d gotten the specimens sent to the lab and the patient cleaned up, he went back in to talk to the husband and wife.

“Mrs. Ambruster, I’m afraid your chest X-ray shows something abnormal and I believe whatever is going on is causing fluid to build up in your lungs.”

The elderly couple exchanged a look of dismay. “What is it? Cancer?” her husband asked.

Caleb didn’t want to lie but at the same time he didn’t honestly know for certain what the problem was. He was impressed by the mutual love and respect this elderly couple displayed toward each other, something missing from his own family life. He tried to sound positive. “That is one possibility but there are others that could be less serious. I’m not a thoracic surgeon, but I’d like to refer you to one. I can arrange for you to see someone first thing in the morning if you’re willing.”

The Ambrusters agreed and he made the arrangements with the thoracic surgery resident. By the time he wrote the discharge orders for Mrs. Ambruster, the oncoming shift had arrived.

He was free to go home. But he didn’t want to leave, not without talking to Raine.

He found her in the staff lounge, but stopped short when he realized she was crying. Immediately concerned, he rushed over. “Raine? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She quickly swiped at her eyes, as if embarrassed by her display of emotion.

“Raine, please. Talk to me.” He couldn’t hide the desperate urgency in his voice.

There was a slight pause, and he found himself holding his breath when she finally brought her tortured gaze up to meet his. “Becca died. She never made it out of surgery.”

Caleb grimaced beneath a wave of guilt. Here he’d been worried about himself when Raine was grieving over their patient. “I’m sorry, Raine. I didn’t know.”

“Doesn’t matter. We did what we could.”

The despair in her tone tugged at his heart. He wanted to reach out to her, but knew he’d given up that privilege when he’d accused her of cheating on him.

He wanted to apologize. To explain he now knew he’d been wrong, but where to start?

“I have to go,” Raine muttered, swiping at her face and attempting to brush past him.

“Wait.” He reached out to grasp her arm. “Please don’t go. Let’s talk. About us. About where we went wrong.”

“There’s no point. What we had is over,” she whispered, wrenching from his grasp. The hint of dark desperation shadowing her eyes hit hard. She hesitated only for a moment, before ducking out of the room.

Shocked, he could only stare after her. Something was definitely wrong. This wasn’t just Raine wanting to take a break from their relationship. There was something more going on.

He’d screwed up before, but he wouldn’t give in so easily this time. He was determined to uncover the truth.

Chapter Two

RAINE drove home, wishing she hadn’t lost control like that in front of Caleb. It was her own fault that he had no idea what she’d been through. No one did. She been too embarrassed, too ashamed. Feeling too guilty to tell anyone.

She was determined to get over the past, and she knew that moving forward was the best way to accomplish that. And if she regretted taking a break from her relationship with Caleb, she had no one to blame but herself.

Caleb had trust issues. But instead of trying to work through them, she’d broken things off. And then, when he’d tried to call to make up, she hadn’t returned his calls.

Because by then everything had changed.

She’d thought she’d put the past behind her. But obviously she’d jumped back into the trauma environment a little too quickly. She’d taken off work completely for a week, and then had taken a three-week assignment in the minor care area, trying to ease herself back into the stressful working environment the way her counselor had suggested. Obviously, she had a way to go before she’d be back to her old self.

She pulled into her assigned parking space in the small lot behind her apartment, threw the gearshift into park and dropped her forehead on the steering-wheel with a deep, heavy sigh.

Who was she trying to kid? She’d never be the person she had been before. Hadn’t her counselor drilled that fact into her head? There was no going back. The only option was to move forward.

Firming her resolve, she climbed from the car and headed up to her second-story apartment. She smiled when her cat, Spice, meowed softly and came running over to greet her, rubbing up against her leg with a satisfied purr. She picked up the cat and buried her face in the soft fur. She’d adopted Spice from the local shelter a few weeks ago and had not regretted it. Coming home to an empty apartment night after night had been difficult. Spice made coming home much easier. And the cat gave her someone to talk to.

She threw a small beanbag ball past Spice—the goofy cat actually liked to play fetch like a dog—and tried to unwind from the long shift. But the relaxation tips her therapist had suggested didn’t help and she still had trouble falling asleep. She’d taken to sleeping on her sofa, and as she stared at the ceiling, she thought about her counselor’s advice to confide in someone. She knew her counselor might be right, but she just couldn’t make herself take that step.

If she told one of her friends what had happened, they’d look at her differently. With horror. With pity. Asking questions. She shivered with dread. No, she couldn’t stand the thought of anyone knowing the gory details. Especially when she couldn’t remember much herself.

The one person she might have confided in was Caleb. If he’d trusted her. Which he didn’t.

The events of that night when he’d looked at her with frank disgust still had the power to hurt her. She’d gone out to a local pub with a group of ED staff nurses and physicians after work. Jake, one of the new ED residents, had flirted with her. She hadn’t really thought too much about it until the moment she’d realized he’d had too much to drink. He’d leaned in close, with his arm around the back of her chair, trying to kiss her.

Before she could gently, but firmly push him away, Caleb had walked in. She’d blushed because she knew the situation looked bad, but he hadn’t given her a chance to explain. Instead, he’d accused her of seeing Jake behind his back.

She’d seen the flash of hurt in his eyes, but at the same time she hadn’t appreciated Caleb’s willingness to think the worst of her. She’d talked to him the next day, and had tried to explain. But when he’d sounded distant, and remote, she’d given up, telling him it might be best to take a break from their relationship for a while.

She’d been stunned when he’d agreed.

Pounding a fist into her pillow, she turned on the sofa and tried to forget about Caleb. With everything that had happened, she’d put distance between herself and her friends.

Her closest friend, Elana Schultz, had recently married ED physician Brock Madison. In the months since their wedding she hadn’t seen as much of Elana. They were still friends, but Elana had a new life now with Brock.

When Elana had assumed Raine had taken the job in Minor Care to avoid Caleb, she hadn’t told her friend any different.

It was better than Elana knowing the truth.

The next morning Raine’s phone woke her from a deep sleep. She patted the mound of linens on her sofa, searching for her cellphone. “Hello?”

“Raine? It’s Elana. I just had to call to tell you the news.”

“News?” Elana’s dramatically excited tone brought a smile to her face. She pushed a hand through her hair and blinked the sleep from her eyes. “What news?”

“We heard the baby’s heart beat!” Elana exclaimed, her excitement contagious. “You should have seen the look on Brock’s face, he was so enthralled. He brought tears to my eyes. You’d never guess he once decided to live his life without children.”

“He was delusional, obviously,” Raine said dismissively. “And that was long before he met you. I’m so excited for you, Elana. Did you and Brock change your mind about finding out the baby’s gender?”

“No, we still want the baby’s sex to be a surprise. But my due date is confirmed—five months and one week to go.”

Raine mentally calculated. It was the seventh of June. “November fifteenth?”

“Yes, give or take a week. Brock is painting the baby’s room like a madman—he’s worried we won’t have everything ready in time,” Elana said with a laugh. “I keep telling him there’s no rush.”

“Knowing Brock, he’ll have it ready in plenty of time.” Raine tried to hide the wistful tone of her voice. Watching Elana and Brock together was wonderful and yet painful at the same time. They were so in love, they glowed.

If only she were worthy of that kind of love. She pushed aside the flash of self-pity. “Do you have time to meet for lunch?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m sorry Raine. I’d love to, but I agreed to volunteer at the New Beginnings clinic this afternoon. Can I take a rain-check?”

“Sure.” Raine forced lightness into her tone. The New Beginnings clinic was a place where low-income patients could be seen at no cost to them. She’d volunteered there in the past, but not recently. “No problem. Take care and I’m sure I’ll see you at work one of these days.”

“I know, it’s been for ever, hasn’t it?” Elana asked. Raine knew it was exactly one month and three days since they’d worked together. Since her life had irrevocably changed. “You’ve been working in the minor care area and I’ve been cutting back my hours now that I’m pregnant. The morning sickness has been awful. Brock is being a tad overly protective lately, but I’m not going to complain. I’m scheduled to work this weekend.”

“Great. I’m working the weekend, too and I’m back on the schedule in the trauma bay. I’ll see you then.” Raine hung up the phone, feeling a bit deflated. Not that she begrudged her friend one ounce of happiness. Elana had gone through some rough times, too.

Elana had moved on from her painful past, and Raine was sure she could too. One day at a time.

Since the last thing she needed was more time on her hands, Raine forced herself to climb out of bed. There was no point in wallowing in self-pity for the rest of the day.

She needed to take action. To focus on the positive. She’d taken to volunteering at the animal shelter on her days off, as dealing with animals was somehow easier lately, than dealing with people.

It was time to visit her furry friends who were always there when she needed them.

Caleb pulled up in front of his father’s house and swallowed a deep sigh. His father had called to ask for help, after injuring his ankle after falling off a ladder. His father was currently living alone, as his most recent relationship had ended in an unsurprising break-up. Caleb was relieved that at least this time his father had been smart enough to avoid marrying the woman. With four divorces under his belt, you’d think his father would learn. But, no, he kept making the same mistakes over and over again.

Leaving Caleb to pick up the pieces.

He walked up to the house, frowning a bit when he saw the front door was open. He knocked on the screen door, before opening it. “Dad? Are you in there?”

“Over here, Caleb,” his father called out. His father’s black Lab, Grizzly, let out a warning bark, but then came rushing over to greet him as he walked through the living room into the kitchen. He took a moment to pet the excited dog, and then crossed over to where his father was seated at the table, with his ankle propped on the chair beside him. “Thanks for coming.”

“Sure.” He bent over his father’s ankle, assessing the swollen joint, tenderly palpating the bruised tissue around the bone. “Are you sure this isn’t broken?”

“Told you I took X-rays at the shelter, didn’t I?” his father said in a cantankerous tone. “It’s not broken, it’s only sprained. Did you bring the crutches?”

“Yes, they’re in the car.” But he purposely hadn’t brought them in. He’d asked his father to come into the ED while he was working, but did he listen? No. His father had taken his own X-rays on the machine he used for animals. Caleb would rather have looked at the films himself.

“Why did ya leave them out there? Go get ‘em.”

Caleb propped his hands on his hips and scowled at his father. “Dad, be reasonable. Take a couple of days off. Being on crutches around animals is just asking for trouble. Surely the shelter can do without you for a few days?”

“I told you, there’s some sort of infection plaguing several of the new animals. I retired from my full-time veterinary practice last year, didn’t I? I only go to the shelter three days a week and every other Saturday. Surely that’s not too much for an old codger like me.” His dad yanked on the fabric of his pants leg to help lift his injured foot down on the floor. “If you won’t drive me, I’ll arrange for a cab.”

Caleb closed his eyes and counted to ten, searching for patience. He didn’t remember ever calling his dad an old codger, but nevertheless a shaft of guilt stabbed deep. He’d promised to help out more, but hadn’t made the time to come over as often as he should have. “I said I’d take you and I will. But, Dad, you have to try taking it easy for a while. Every time I stop by I find you doing something new. Trying to clean out the gutters on that rickety old ladder was what caused your fall in the first place.”

“Well, someone had to do it.”

This time Caleb counted to twenty. “You never asked me to help you with the gutters,” he reminded his father, striving for a calm tone. “And if you’d have waited, I could have done the job when I came over to mow your lawn on the weekend.”

His father ignored him, gingerly rising to his feet, leaning heavily on the back of the kitchen chair to keep the pressure off his sore ankle. Grizzly came over to stand beside him, as if he could somehow assist. “I’m going to need those crutches to get outside.”

Arguing with his father was about as effective as herding cats. His father simply ignored the things he didn’t want to deal with. “Sit down. I’ll get them.” Caleb strode back through the house, muttering under his breath, “Stubborn man.”

He grabbed the crutches out of the back of the car and slammed the door with more force than was necessary. He and his father had always been at odds and the passing of the years hadn’t changed their relationship much. Caleb’s mother had taken off, abandoning him at the tender age of five. One would think that fact alone would have brought him and his dad closer together. But his father hadn’t waited very long before bringing home future stepmothers in an attempt to replace his first wife. At first the relationships had been short-lived, but then he’d ended up marrying a few.

None of them stayed very long, of course. They left, just like his mother, for a variety of reasons. Because they realized being a vet didn’t bring in a boat-load of money, especially when you were already paying alimony for a previous marriage. Or they found someone else. Or simply got bored with playing step-mom to someone else’s kid.

Whatever the reason, the women his father picked didn’t stick around. Carmen was the one who’d stayed the longest, almost three years, but in the end she’d left, too.

Yeah, his father could really pick them.

“Here are the crutches,” he said as he entered the kitchen. “Now, be patient for a minute so I can measure them. They have to fit your frame.”

For once his father listened. After he’d adjusted the crutches to his father’s height, the older man took them and leaned on them gratefully. “Thanks,” he said gruffly.

“You’re welcome.” Caleb watched his father walk slowly across the room, making sure he could safely use them. Grizz got in the way once, but then quickly learned to avoid them. Crutches weren’t as easy to use as people thought, and Caleb worried about his father’s upper-arm strength. But his father was still in decent shape, and seemed to manage them well enough. Reluctantly satisfied, he followed his father outside, giving Grizz one last pat on the head.

The shelter was only ten miles away. Neither one of them was inclined to break the silence as Caleb navigated the city streets.

He pulled up in front of the building and shut the car. “I’ll come inside with you,” he offered.

“Sure.” His father’s mood had brightened the closer they’d gotten to the shelter, and Caleb quickly figured out the elder man needed this volunteer work more than he’d realized.

More guilt, he thought with a slight grimace. He held the front door of the building open, waiting for his father to cross the threshold on his crutches before following him in.

“Dr. Frank! What happened?”

Caleb froze when he saw Raine rushing toward his father. She didn’t seem to have noticed him as she placed an arm around his father’s thin shoulders.

“Twisted my ankle, that’s all. Nothing serious.” His father patted her hand reassuringly. “Now, tell me, Raine, how’s Rusty doing today? Is he any better?”

“He seems a little better, but really, Dr. Frank, should you be here? Maybe you should have stayed at home to rest.” Raine lifted her gaze and he knew she’d spotted him when she paled, her dark red hair a stark contrast to her alabaster skin. “Caleb. What are you doing here?”

“Dropping off my father.” He couldn’t help the flash of resentment at how friendly his father and Raine seemed to be. She had never mentioned working at the animal shelter during those two months they’d dated. But here she was, standing with her arm protectively around his father, as if they were life-long buddies.

A foreign emotion twisted in his gut. Jealousy. For a moment he didn’t want to acknowledge it. But as he absorbed the camaraderie between his father and Raine, he couldn’t deny the truth.

His father had grown closer to Raine in the time since she’d pushed him away.

Raine couldn’t believe that Dr. Frank was actually Caleb’s father. She’d never really known if Frank was the retired vet’s first or last name, and hadn’t asked. They’d had an unspoken agreement not to pry into each other’s personal lives. But now that she saw the two of them in the same room, the resemblance was obvious. Dr. Frank’s hair was mostly gray, whereas Caleb’s was dark brown, but the two men shared the same stormy gray eyes and aristocratic nose. Of course, Caleb was taller and broader across the shoulders but his dad was no slouch. In fact, she thought Dr. Frank was rather handsome, all things considered.

Caleb would age well, if his father’s looks were any indication. And for a moment regret stabbed deep. As much as she needed to move forward, it was difficult not to mourn what might have been.

“What time do you want me to pick you up?” Caleb asked his father.

“I can give Dr. Frank a ride home if he needs one,” she quickly offered.

Caleb’s eyebrows rose in surprise, as if he suspected she had some sort of ulterior motive. Was he assuming she was trying to get back into his good graces by helping his father? If things were different, she might have been tempted.

“That’s very kind of you, Raine,” Dr. Frank said. She could have sworn the older man’s gaze was relieved when he turned back toward his son. “There’s no need for you to come all the way back out here, Raine will drive me home. Thanks for the ride, Caleb. I’ll see you this weekend, all right?”

“Yeah. Sure.” For a moment Caleb stared at her, as if he wanted to say something more, but after a tense moment he turned away. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from calling out to him as he headed for the door. “See you later, Dad,” he tossed over his shoulder.

He didn’t acknowledge Raine as he left. And even though she knew it was her fault, since taking a break from their relationship had been her idea, she was ridiculously hurt by the snub.

Trying to shake off the effects of her less than positive interaction with Caleb, she faced Dr. Frank. “So, are you ready to get to work?”

Caleb’s father’s glance was sharp—she should have known he wouldn’t miss a thing. “Do you and my son know each other?”

She tried to smile. So much for their rule to stay away from personal things. “Yes, we both work in the emergency department at Trinity Medical Center,” she admitted. “Caleb is a great doctor, everyone enjoys working with him.”

“Everyone except you?”

She flushed, hating to think she’d been that transparent. Especially when she liked working with Caleb. Too much for her own good. “I like working with him, but I’m thinking of changing my career to veterinary medicine,” she joked, in an attempt to lighten things up. “Maybe you’ll give me some tips, hmm? Come on, let’s head to the back. I think I should take a look at that ankle of yours.”

“Caleb already looked at it.” Dr. Frank waved her off. “I’m more interested in the animals. I’m going to need you to bring them to me in the exam room as my mobility is limited.”

“No problem.” Raine wanted to help, but as he deftly maneuvered the crutches, she realized he was doing fine on his own.

Dozens of questions filtered through her mind, but she didn’t immediately voice them. Caleb obviously hadn’t mentioned her to his father during the time they’d been seeing each other, which bothered her. Especially since he hadn’t even talked about his father very much.

What else didn’t she know about him? And why did it matter? What she and Caleb had was over. For good. No matter how much she missed him.

Dr. Frank didn’t notice her preoccupation with his son. His attention was quickly focused on the sick animals.

She brought Rusty into the room, the Irish setter puppy they’d rescued three weeks ago. She’d fallen for Rusty in a big way, especially when everyone teased her that Rusty’s dark red coat was the same color as her hair. But unfortunately the lease on her apartment didn’t allow dogs, which was why she’d taken Spice, the calico cat, instead.

But when she did have enough money saved to buy a house, she planned on adopting a dog, too. Hopefully one just as sweet tempered and beautiful as Rusty.

“There, now, let me take a listen to your heart,” Dr. Frank murmured as he stroked Rusty’s fur. The dog had been in bad shape when he’d been picked up as a stray, and he’d shied away, growling at men, which made them think he might have been abused. Raine didn’t know how long he’d been on the streets, but he’d been dangerously malnourished when he’d arrived. And he’d been sick with some sort of infection that had soon spread to the animals housed in the kennels near him.

She held the dog close, smiling a little when he licked her arm. “You’re such a good puppy, aren’t you?”

“He’s definitely doing better on the antiviral meds we’ve been giving him,” Dr. Frank announced, finishing his exam. “Let’s move on to Annie, the golden retriever.”

Volunteering at the shelter had saved her from losing her mind in her dark memories. Raine found she loved working with the animals. The hours she spent at the shelter flew by. She barely had enough time to run home to change, after dropping off Dr. Frank, before heading off to work.

As she entered the emergency department, she saw Caleb standing in the arena. When his gaze locked on hers, her stomach knotted with tension. Was she really up for this? Working in Trauma with Caleb? She quickly glanced around, looking for the charge nurse, determined to avoid being assigned to his team.

Unfortunately, there were only two trauma-trained nurses on duty for the second shift, so she had no choice but to work in the trauma bay. And, of course, Caleb was assigned to the trauma bay as well.

Her stomach continued to churn as she took report from the offgoing nurse. As they finished, a wave of nausea hit hard, and she put a hand over her stomach, gauging the distance to the bathroom.

She swallowed hard, trying to figure out what was wrong. Could she have somehow gotten the virus that seemed to be plaguing the animals at the shelter? She’d have to remember to ask Dr. Frank if animal-to-people transfer was even possible.

Sipping white soda from the nearby vending machine helped and Raine tried to concentrate on her work. They’d transferred their recent patient up to the ICU but within moments they’d received word that Lifeline, the air-rescue helicopter, had been called to the scene of a crash involving car versus train.

Sarah, the other trauma nurse on duty, was restocking the supplies so Raine used the few moments of free time to head into the bathroom.

As she fought another wave of nausea, she leaned over the sink and thought of Elana. This must be how her friend had felt with her horrible bouts of morning sickness.

Her eyes flew open at the implication and she stared at her pale reflection in shock. Could it be? No. Oh, no. She couldn’t handle this.

Her knees went weak and she sank down onto the seat of the commode. Counting backwards, the sickness in her stomach threatened to erupt as she realized it had been just over four weeks since her last period.

Chapter Three

DEAR God, what if she was pregnant?

No, she couldn’t be. There was just no way she could handle this right now. Especially considering the circumstances under which she might have conceived. She shied away from the dark memories.

She didn’t have time to fall apart. Not when there was a serious trauma on the way. Car versus train, and the train always won in that contest. She took several deep breaths, pulling herself together with an effort.

She couldn’t think about this right now, she just couldn’t. It was possible she had flu, nothing more. She had to stop jumping to conclusions. She’d been through a lot of stress lately. Far more stress than the average person had to deal with. There were plenty of reasons for her period to be late. And it wasn’t really late. She could get her period any day now.

But the nagging fear wouldn’t leave her alone.

She used the facilities and then splashed cold water on her face in a vain attempt to bring some color back to her cheeks. She stopped in the staff lounge to rummage for some crackers to nibble on as she made her way back to the trauma bay.

The pager at her waist beeped. She glanced at the display. Thirty-five-year-old white male with multiple crushing injuries to torso and lower extremities. Intubated in the field, transfusing four units of O negative blood. ETA five minutes.

Five minutes. She took another sip of white soda and finished the cracker. She couldn’t decide if she should be upset or relieved when the cracker and white soda combination helped settle her stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Caleb demanded when she entered the trauma bay a few moments later. “You look awful.”

“Gee, thanks so much,” she said sarcastically. “I really needed to hear that.”

“I’m sorry, but I wanted to make sure that you’re okay to work,” Caleb amended. “The trauma surgeon has requested a hot unload. We need to get up to the helipad, they’re landing in two minutes.”

“I’m okay to work,” she repeated firmly, determined to prove it by not falling apart as she had last night. Every day was better than the last one—hadn’t her counselor stressed the importance of moving forward? She was living proof the strategy worked. “Let’s go.”

She and Caleb took the trauma elevators, located in the back of the trauma bay, up to the helipad on the roof of the hospital. At first the confines of the elevator bothered her, but she inhaled the heady scent of Caleb’s aftershave, which pushed the bad memories away and reminded her of happier times. When they reached the helipad, they found the trauma surgeon, Dr. Eric Sutton, was already standing there, waiting. Lifting her hand to shield her eyes against the glare of the sun, Raine watched as the air-rescue chopper approached. The noise of the aircraft made it impossible to speak.

When the helicopter landed, they waited until they saw the signal from the pilot to approach, ducking well below the blades. The Lifeline transport team, consisting of a physician and a nurse, helped lift the patient out of the back hatch of the chopper.

“He’s in bad shape, losing blood fast,” the Lifeline physician grimly informed them. “In my opinion, you need to take him directly to the OR.”

“Sounds like a plan. We can finish resuscitating him there,” Dr. Sutton agreed. “Let’s go.”

In her year of working Trauma, she’d only transported a handful of patients directly to the OR. They all squeezed into the trauma elevator around the patient, Greg Hanson. She kept her gaze on the portable monitor, trying to ignore the close confines of the elevator as they rode back down to the trauma OR suite located on the second floor, directly above the ED.

The elevators opened into the main hallway of the OR. The handed the gurney over to the OR staff who were waiting, taking precious moments to don sterile garb before following the patient into the room.

“Caleb, I need a central line in this guy—he needs at least four more units of O neg blood,” Sutton said.

They fell into a trauma resuscitation rhythm, only this time the trauma surgeon had taken the lead instead of Caleb. As Eric Sutton was assessing the extent of the patient’s crushing leg wounds, she and Caleb worked together to get Greg Hanson’s blood pressure up to a reasonable level.

She didn’t know the circumstances about why Greg Hanson’s car had been on the railroad tracks and as she hung four more units of blood on the rapid infusor, she found herself hoping this hadn’t been a suicide attempt.

Being in close proximity to Caleb put all her senses on alert. But when his shoulders brushed against hers, she didn’t flinch. She tried to see that as a sign she was healing.

“Here,” she said, handing him the end of the rapid infuser tubing once he’d gotten the central line placed. “Connect this so I can get the blood started.”

Caleb took the tubing from her hands, his fingers warm against hers. Eric and the OR nurse were prepping the patient’s legs to begin surgery and the anesthesiologist was already putting the patient to sleep, but for a fraction of a second their gazes clung, as if they were all alone in the room.

“Great. All set,” Caleb said, breaking the nearly tangible connection. “Start the blood.”

She turned on the rapid infuser, rechecking the lines to make sure everything was properly connected. She took four more units of blood, confirmed the numbers matched, and then set them aside to be hung as soon as the other four had been transfused into their patient. She could see by the amount of blood already filling the large suction canisters that he was going to need more.

“Draw a full set of labs, Raine,” Caleb told her.

She did as he asked, handing them over to the anesthesia tech, who ran them to the stat lab. She began hanging the new units of blood when the current bags were dry.

“I think we have things under control here,” the anesthesiologist informed them a few minutes later. Taking a peek over the sterile drape, she could see Dr. Sutton was already in the process of repairing a torn femoral artery.

She was loath to leave, feeling as if there was still more they could do. But now that the anesthesiologist had put the patient to sleep, he’d taken over monitoring the rapid infuser, along with the anesthesia tech.

They really weren’t needed here any longer.

Caleb put a hand on her arm, and she glanced up at him. The warmth in his gaze made it seem as if the last four weeks of being apart hadn’t happened. “Come on, we need to get back down to the trauma bay.”

“All right,” she agreed, following him out of the OR suite. Outside the room, they stripped off the sterile garb covering their scrubs.

“Good work, Raine,” Caleb told her, as they headed down to the trauma bay.

“Thanks. You too,” she murmured, sending him a sideways glance. From the first time she’d met Caleb, there had been an undeniable spark between them. An awareness that had only intensified as they’d worked together.

His kisses had made her head spin. There was so much about him that she’d admired. And a few qualities she didn’t.

Working together just now to save Greg Hanson’s life had only reinforced how in sync they were. They made a great team.

Professional team, not a personal one, she reminded herself.

The nauseous feeling returned and she glanced away, feeling hopelessly desperate.

Impossible to go back and change the mistakes and subsequent events of the past, no matter how much she wished she could.

Caleb couldn’t seem to keep his gaze off Raine. The adrenalin rush that came from helping to save a patient’s life seemed to make everything around him stand out in sharp definition. Especially her. Raine’s dark red hair, her pale skin, her bright blue eyes had beckoned to him from the moment they’d met.

She was so beautiful. His fingers itched to stroke her skin. Memories of how sweetly she’d responded to his kisses flooded his mind. Along with a stab of regret. If only he’d have handled things differently, they might have been able to make their relationship work.

His fault. She’d pushed him away, but it was all his fault. Because he’d jumped to conclusions.

Raine had tried to talk to him, but he hadn’t been very receptive. And then Jake had come to apologize. Confessing that he’d had too much to drink and had made a pass at Raine.

So he’d called her back, prepared to apologize, but she’d refused to take his calls.

He wished, more than anything, that she’d talk to him. Allow him to clear things up between them. But instead she’d gone to work in the minor care area, located at the opposite end of the ED from the trauma bay.

He and Raine made a great team on a professional level. He shouldn’t dwell on the fact they couldn’t seem to make the same connection on a personal one.

“Where’s my brother? Greg Hanson?” a frantic voice asked, as they walked past the ED patient waiting area.

Caleb stopped to address the young man. “He’s in surgery. We can let the trauma surgeon, Dr. Eric Sutton, know you’re here waiting for him.”

“Surgery?” The man’s expression turned hopeful. “So he’s going to make it?”

“I’m sorry, but it’s a little too early to say for sure, although I think he has a good fighting chance,” Caleb told him. He glanced at Raine, who gave a nod of encouragement.

“His vital signs were stabilizing when we left,” she added.

“Good, that’s good.” The young man sighed. “Greg’s wife and baby are being examined to make sure they didn’t sustain any injuries. He risked his life to save them. His wife, Lora, panicked when her van got stuck on the railroad tracks. She didn’t want to leave because the baby was in the back seat. He pulled her out of the car first, and then yanked the baby out just as the train hit.”

He heard Raine’s soft gasp. “Dear heavens,” she murmured.

Caleb grimly agreed. The guy was a hero, and he could only hope the poor guy didn’t suffer irreparable damage to his legs as a result of his actions. “Are his wife and baby both here?”

“The baby’s at Children’s Memorial, my wife is over there with their daughter now. Lora’s here, the doctor is seeing her now. As soon as they’re medically cleared, we’ll all be here waiting to hear about Greg’s condition.”

“I’ll let the trauma surgeon know,” Caleb promised.

“Thank you,” the young man said gratefully.

He and Raine returned to the trauma bay. He made the call up to the OR, leaving a message with the OR circulating nurse about Greg’s family. She passed the word on to Eric Sutton, who reassured them he’d come to the waiting room to talk to the family as soon as he was finished.

Satisfied, he hung up the phone. There was a lull in the action. Trauma was either busy or slow, and he found himself looking once again for Raine.

They needed to talk. He just couldn’t let her go without a fight. Maybe it was crazy, but the awareness still shimmering between them made him believe in second chances.

He found her in the staff lounge, sipping a soda. She looked surprised to see him.

“I was surprised to see you earlier today. You never mentioned working at the animal shelter while we were going out,” he said, being careful to sound casual and not accusatory.

She met his gaze briefly, before glancing away. “No, I didn’t. I’ve only been volunteering at the animal shelter for the past month or so.”

The past month. Since their break-up. For some reason, the timing bothered him.

“Your dad is a sweetheart,” she continued, staring down into the depths of her soft drink. “He’s a great vet, really wonderful with animals. Everyone at the shelter loves him.”

Strange, Raine had never struck him as being an animal lover, although now that he knew she was, he wondered what else he hadn’t known about her.

And why did it matter now?

“Yeah, my dad has quite the female fan club,” he said dryly. “Just ask any of his ex-wives.”

She frowned at him and he immediately felt guilty for the lame joke.

“My dad is a great guy,” he amended. “He does have a special talent for working with animals.”

Raine nodded thoughtfully. And then she suddenly jumped to her feet. “Look, Caleb, I’m sorry things didn’t work out between us on a personal level. But at least we know we can work together, right? We helped save Greg’s life. Surely that counts for something.”

Her words gave him the opportunity he needed.

“Raine, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have accused you of seeing Jake behind my back.”

She stared at him with wide blue eyes. “Why were you so ready to believe the worst?” she asked in a low voice.

He swallowed hard, knowing she deserved the truth. “I had a bad experience with being cheated on in the past,” he finally admitted. “I walked in and found my fiancée in bed with another man.”

“I see.” She frowned and broke away from his gaze.

Did she? He doubted it. “Look, Raine, I know now that I overreacted. Jake explained everything.”

She brought her gaze, full of reproach, up to his. “So did I, remember? The next day, when I called you?”

He didn’t know what to say to that, because what she said was the truth. She had tried to explain, but he hadn’t believed her.

“You listened to Jake, but you didn’t listen to me,” Raine murmured, her blue eyes shadowed with pain. “I guess that sums everything up right there.”

Panic gripped him by the throat. “Raine, please. Give me another chance.”

She sighed and rubbed her temples. “It’s too late, Caleb. There were a lot of other signs that you didn’t trust me, but I tried to ignore them. The way you kept asking me where I was going and who I was going to be with. The night with Jake only solidified what I already knew.”

“I learned my lesson,” he quickly protested. “I promise, this time I’ll trust you.”

But she was already shaking her head. “It’s not that easy, Caleb. Trust comes from within. You have to believe with your whole heart.”

His whole heart? Her words nagged at him. Because he cared about Raine a lot. But had he loved her? He’d thought things were heading in that direction, but now he wasn’t so sure.

Those feelings of intense betrayal, when he’d seen her with Jake, had haunted him. Had made him think the worst about her.

He remembered how Raine had tried to explain how thrilled and relieved she’d been to be away from the overbearing scrutiny of her three older brothers. At first she’d teasingly accused him of being just like them.

But then she’d become more resentful.

And he’d accused her of cheating on him.

No wonder she’d wanted a break.

Still, he wanted another chance. Even though there was something different about her. A shadow in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. The Raine he’d worked with tonight didn’t seem to be the same person she’d been a month earlier.

Because of him?

Caleb’s stomach twisted with regret. He hadn’t told her about his mother abandoning him and his father, taking off to follow her dream of being a dancer. Or the string of stepmothers and almost stepmothers. Obviously, he should have.

“Raine, I’m sorry. I know I don’t deserve another chance, but—” He stopped when their pagers went off simultaneously.