Operation Gigolo
Vicki Lewis Thompson

www.millsandboon.co.uk

A huge bouquet of ticklish feathers to all those funny people who have made me laugh, intentionally or unintentionally. Life is too precious to be taken seriously.

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

1

“AFTER THIRTY-FIVE YEARS of marriage, your father should let me be on top!”

Lynn Morgan cradled the phone against her shoulder and began sorting through the messages on her desk. “I can’t see what difference it makes who’s on top, Mom. We’re just talking about bodies, here.” She glanced up to see Tony Russo looking amused as he leaned against the doorjamb of her office. “Dead bodies,” she added for Tony’s benefit.

His eyebrows lifted.

“That’s beside the point,” her mother said. “It’s the principle of the thing.”

Lynn knew this terrain well. Mediating her parents harebrained battles had prepared her to become a lawyer, according to her friends. She offered her mother the expected dose of logic. “Shouldn’t it depend on who goes first?”

“That’s what he says, and it would be just like him to outlive me so he could be on top! I want a guarantee of my final position.”

Lynn looked at Tony and rolled her eyes. “Suppose you do go first. You want to be dug up so somebody can slide him in underneath you?”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not talking about rearranging leftovers in the refrigerator! Really, Mom, this is—”

“I can see you don’t understand, and I am not spending eternity underneath your father. I want a divorce. You can represent me.”

Lynn put down her pile of messages. “Excuse me?”

“A divorce. You are a divorce lawyer, right? Serve your father papers. That should teach him to dictate burial-plot etiquette!”

Lynn leaned forward and focused all her attention on the conversation. “I can’t believe you’re serious about a divorce.”

“Dead serious.”

“That’s not funny.”

“Yes, it is.”

To Lynn’s amazement, her heart was pounding, as if she were a little kid being threatened with this family disaster instead of a twenty-nine-year-old respected member of the Illinois State Bar. “Listen, buy two plots next to each other in a different part of the cemetery.”

“Not on your life! That’s my family’s plot, and my designated space, and I’m going in it. Let your father find his own plot.”

“Look, Mom—” Lynn broke off as a second phone line blinked. “I have another call. Listen to the Muzak a minute and don’t go away.”

“Don’t forget I’m paying long distance, dear.”

“I won’t forget. Be right back.” Lynn put her mother on hold and glanced at Tony.

He pushed away from the doorjamb, his expression sober. He’d always been able to gauge her moods, which made him a valuable friend. “You seem to have your hands full,” he said gently. “Why don’t I come back later?”

“Please stay. I have a feeling I’m going to need a sounding board when I get through here.”

“That’s all I need to know.” Tony walked over and sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

“Thanks. I’ll make this as quick as I can.” She gave him a smile as she answered the second line. “Lynn Morgan.”

“Your mother’s gone bananas,” her father said.

“You’re telling me. What’s all that noise in the background, Dad?” She glanced at Tony, who was shaking his head in sympathy.

“Never mind the noise in the background. I think this is the big one, Peanut. Splitsville. I want you to represent me.”

Lynn rested her forehead in her hand. “You, too?”

“What’dya mean, me, too? Did she beat me to the punch?”

“No, because I’m not taking either one of you on. Honestly, you sound like two kids fighting over who gets the top bunk.”

“It’s not just the plot,” her father said. “She went to this Seize Your Power seminar, and as if that wasn’t enough, she’s started taking testosterone, which she claims is because of the Change. But if you ask me, this is one woman who doesn’t need testosterone. I tell you, she’s developed a real attitude, Peanut.”

“She’s always had an attitude, Dad.” Lynn could see this wasn’t going to be a quick-fix situation. “Listen, I’ll get back to you on this. Don’t do anything rash.”

“If you’re saying don’t move out, I’ve already got a room at the Naughty and Nice Motel.”

“You’re kidding.” Her father had always joked about staying there, just to get her mother’s goat. Surely he hadn’t actually done it.

“Well, that part was a mistake.”

“You’re really at the Naughty and Nice?” She pictured the sleazy motel in a bad part of Springfield, with hookers and drug dealers hanging on every corner.

“I should have checked into the Holiday Inn instead. There’s no phones in the room. I’m calling you from the Black Garter Video Shop next door.”

Lynn’s brain began to spin. “Dad, you can’t stay there. That’s a rough area.”

“I’ve always wanted to see the place, Peanut. Plus I figured it would send your mother over the moon if I called her from there, but now I can’t, because there are no phones.”

“Which is another thing. How am I supposed to get in touch with you?”

“I’ll figure that out and call you.” He lowered his voice again. “You wouldn’t believe how some of the women dress around here, Peanut. They—whoops, gotta go. Somebody needs to use the phone, and she looks pretty determined, especially with that earring through her lower lip.” He whispered into the phone. “She’s got tattoos everywhere.” Then he hung up.

Lynn took a deep breath before returning to her mother’s call. “I have to go, Mom. I’ll call you this afternoon, and I certainly hope that by then you and Dad will have come to your senses.”

“Talk to the cemetery-plot hog! He’s the one who won’t listen to reason.”

Lynn didn’t think it wise to tell her mother the cemetery-plot hog had been on the other line, and that he was currently living in one of the more colorful parts of Springfield. “Goodbye, Mom.” She hung up and gazed at Tony. “I can’t believe this. They’ve always squabbled, but it was never serious. It was like living with Ricky and Lucy Ricardo.”

“I take it they haven’t threatened divorce before.”

“Never. But it seems my mother took some motivational seminar and now she’s on a rampage fueled by hot flashes. None of that really surprises me, but this talk about divorce…that’s just nuts. They’ve always dreamed of this time, when I’d be on my own and the house would be paid off. Dad took early retirement last year, and…” She stared at Tony as the truth dawned. “They’re bored out of their skulls, aren’t they?”

“Looks like. We’ve sure seen plenty of couples like that come through here.”

“Why did I suppose my parents would be any different?” Lynn threw her hands in the air. “Textbook case.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far. I don’t remember any other middle-aged couple filing because they couldn’t figure out how to share a cemetery plot.”

“They will not file for divorce. Not if I have anything to say about it.” She crossed her arms and glared at Tony as if he would challenge her claim.

“It’ll probably blow over,” Tony said with a show of conviction.

She wanted to believe him. “I don’t like the sound of things, though. My dad’s checked into a motel in the red-light district and my mother’s busy shuffling coffins. We’re not talking your general run-of-the-mill argument, like whether to give Goliath a bath in the bidet.”

Tony’s mouth twitched. “And Goliath is a…?”

“My father’s toy poodle. Mom has a rottweiler named Snookums.” Lynn glanced at him. “You’re trying not to laugh, aren’t you?”

“Not me. Is this funny? I don’t see anything funny.”

“Well, at least they’ve always been entertaining.”

“And you’ve always had to keep a cool head.”

She leaned back in her chair. “Yeah, I’m the straitlaced one.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say so. You’re the one who suggested we hit a fun park the night after my divorce became final.”

Lynn smiled at the memory. They’d scoured the suburbs until they’d found what she was looking for—bumper cars, pinball machines, noise and people. “That was a special case. I don’t do that for clients, as a rule.”

“Just the pro bono ones.”

“Hey, I don’t take money from a good friend and colleague. I may need your services sometime. Besides, after the way Michelle—” She saw the look on his face and wished she hadn’t started the sentence in the first place.

“After the way Michelle screwed up my life, you were going to say.”

“She was a fool.” Lynn couldn’t understand Michelle at all, cheating on a man like Tony. His Italian good looks, intelligence and career choice made him what Lynn’s mother would call a “catch,” but he was also a damned nice guy.

“We both were fools. To be honest, I’d rather talk about your folks’ problems than mine.”

“Makes sense. Sorry I brought it up.” She figured he had to be grieving. The divorce was only six months old, and Michelle had been the center of his universe.

“So, how are you going to keep them from splitting up?” Tony asked.

“Well…” Lynn propped her elbows on the desk and rested her chin on her hands. She and Tony had brainstormed cases many times and she’d come to trust his input. This situation wasn’t so different from a complicated point of law. “They’re creating conflict because they have no real problems, right?”

“That’s my best guess.”

“What if I give them one?”

Tony crossed his ankle over his knee and leaned back in the chair. “Like what?”

Lynn thought back to her childhood. “Whenever I used to get in trouble—”

“Yeah, right.”

“Okay, it was pretty tame stuff. But considering how my parents debated everything from how to hang toilet paper on the roll to the background pictures on their checks, they never disagreed on how to handle me. On that issue they were a united front.”

“Gonna get yourself in trouble?”

She doodled on a pad of paper as her plan took shape.

“Yes, I am. It’s time their logical, sane daughter kicked over the traces. And I’m going to get in trouble the old-fashioned way.” She looked up. “I’ll get pregnant.”

Tony lurched forward in the chair. “Hey, not so fast! I don’t think this situation requires you to—”

“Not really!” She grinned. “I’ll just say I’m PG.”

“Oh.” He sank back in his chair. “I was afraid you were heading to the nearest bar to rustle up a one-night stand.”

“For heaven’s sake. Does that sound like me? Besides, that would take too long. I need to be pregnant right this minute.”

“Lynn, it’s a creative idea, but have you thought it through? You’re a terrible liar. Even I know that, and you’re setting out to fool your parents, the people who raised you.”

She tapped her pen against the blotter. “As usual, you’ve hit on the biggest glitch in my plan. But it’s such a good idea.”

“You could practice your story.”

“I’d have to. Can I practice with you?”

“Sure. I’ll even help you come up with it. First of all, you need an identity for the imaginary father of this imaginary kid.”

She smiled at him. “I have a feeling you’ve had some practice with telling tall tales.”

“Let’s just say I got in more trouble than you did when I was growing up.”

“Okay, who’s the father? Somebody my parents will go into an apoplectic fit over. Swaggering, macho, cigarette dangling from the corner of his lip, tight jeans, a tattoo. No job prospects, but he’s happy I’m working and keeping him in beer. In short, a gigolo.”

Tony started to laugh. “You’re overdoing it. There’s no way they’ll buy a story that far-fetched. They’ll know you’re lying through your teeth the minute you start describing this make-believe lover of yours.”

“Ah, but logical women are notorious for becoming attracted to some sexy loser and having their good sense destroyed by great sex. Besides, I’ve always been completely honest with them. They’ll never expect me to make up an elaborate story like this.” The thought pricked her conscience. She didn’t like the idea of lying to her parents, but she couldn’t actually get pregnant to bring them together, so she had no choice.

“Even so, I think they’ll want proof for anything this wild.”

“Possibly. But I can’t imagine how I could…hmm.” She gazed at him, narrowing her eyes as she mentally rearranged his appearance. Maybe, just maybe, he was her solution.

Tony shifted in his chair. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Take off your jacket.”

“Why?” He looked uneasy.

“Humor me.”

He shrugged. “The lady wants the jacket off, I guess I’ll take the jacket off. It’s been a strange morning.” He stood and removed the jacket of his pin-striped suit.

“Now take off the tie.”

He stared at her.

“Come on, Tony. I’m working on a concept here.”

He sighed and took off the tie.

“Now unbutton the first three or four buttons of your shirt, and mess up your hair.”

“Mess up my—” He looked at her as if she’d gone totally bonkers.

She got up and came around the desk. “Like this.” She rubbed her fingers vigorously over his scalp.

“Hey!” He leaped back. “Who are you and what have you done with Lynn?”

“That’s not quite the look I had in mind.” She started toward him.

He backed up a step. “Stay away from me, woman.”

“Oh, relax. And hold still. This will just take a minute.” Grasping his shoulder to keep him near her, she reached up and combed her fingers through his hair so it fell over his forehead, giving him a look of careless nonchalance instead of his usual combed-back, businesslike style. She was pleasantly surprised by the silky feel of his hair and the solid muscles under his dress shirt. She prolonged the task a little.

He smelled good, she noticed, catching a whiff of an after-shave that she’d always associated with him but never allowed herself to consider sexy. “Now for the buttons,” she said, undoing the first four.

“Lynn, is this a seduction?” Tony asked.

“Nope.”

“Didn’t think so. You’re beginning to worry me.”

“I just want to check something out.” She stepped back, hands on hips, to survey her work.

The transformation was remarkable. Gone was the up-and-coming young lawyer who spent his days immersed in legal briefs and courtroom procedure, the man who always arrived at the office early and left late, a bundle of files under his arm. This Tony was hot. He looked as if he had one thing on his mind, and it certainly didn’t involve paperwork. A tremor of sexual desire shook her poise. Michelle must have gone to stupid school.

But the main thing was that Tony would be perfect for her scheme. She looked up at him and smiled. “Tony, how about if you—”

“Don’t even go there.” He shook his head and backed away. “I was afraid that was where you were headed. I failed drama class in high school. Performances aren’t my long suit.” He started refastening the buttons on his shirt.

“Are you joking? You’re a lawyer!”

He smiled at that. “Yeah, but we’re talking about something a lot more complicated.”

“No, we’re not. You put on a show every time you step into that courtroom. This would just be a different kind. I said I might need your services. Turns out I do.”

“I meant legal services.” He reached for the tie he’d thrown over the back of the chair.

“I don’t need legal services. I need a sexy-looking guy for Operation Gigolo. To my surprise, you’d do very nicely.”

He stopped in the act of knotting his tie and gazed at her. “To your surprise? That’s not very flattering.”

She blushed. “Well, I just never thought of you in that way, because you’re always so…so polished-looking.” So married.

“Polished-looking. As in slick?” He finished with the tie and picked up his jacket.

“No. You look perfectly wonderful, like an ad from GQ.”

“Some women go for that type.”

“Of course they do!”

“But you don’t?” He put on his jacket and adjusted the lapels.

“I didn’t say that.” Damn, this was a bog she hadn’t intended to get into. Six months after a divorce was a prime time for a rebound attraction, and she didn’t want to be the target for that sort of temporary affair. “I just—we’re way off the subject here. Tony, please help me out. It won’t take much of your time to meet my parents. Once they see you, they’ll start a campaign to break us up, which will bring them together again. They can succeed in breaking us up, and then I’ll conveniently miscarry the love child, and life will return to normal. I happen to know you haven’t taken much time off lately.”

“And to remedy that, you’re offering me a fun-filled trip to Springfield, where I get to act like a jerk and hopefully get pitched out of your parents’ house on my butt? Gee, you sure know how to tempt a guy.”

“Actually, I wasn’t thinking of Springfield. Ever been to Sedona, Arizona?”

“Nope. Just seen pictures of all those red rocks. Pretty impressive.”

“It is. And my parents honeymooned there. The summer rush would be over now, so I probably could get reservations at the same cottages on the banks of Oak Creek where they stayed thirty-five years ago. I’m sure I can convince them that they have to come,” she said, patting her stomach.

He looked more interested at the prospect of going to Sedona. “What if your folks demand separate sleeping accommodations?”

“I’ll tell them they have to share because there were only two available when I called.” She folded her arms and repressed a smile of triumph. As a lawyer she’d learned to read expressions, and she could see that Tony was beginning to consider her idea. “What do you say? An all-expense-paid long weekend in a beautiful spot in exchange for wearing tight jeans and flexing your muscles.”

He hesitated. “Is your dad a violent man?”

“Absolutely not. He might try to talk you to death, but he wouldn’t challenge you to a fistfight or anything, if that’s what you mean. I promise this is low risk.”

“You don’t have somebody else who could do this? I thought you were dating a guy named Edgar.”

She grimaced. “I was, but in the first place my parents have met him, and in the second place, I broke it off a couple of months ago, and in the third place, Edgar could never play a convincing stud-muffin.”

“Is that right?” He looked pleased with the information.

“That’s right.” Tony was awfully cute, she thought, cuter than she’d allowed herself to realize.

“I don’t know.” He glanced at her. “It’ll take a lot to rub the polish off, don’t you think?”

Thinking about turning him into a modern-day James Dean sent delicious shivers through her. Transforming Tony. What a fun concept. “No, I don’t think it’ll take all that much,” she said. “Although it would be helpful if you had a tattoo.”

“It would, huh?”

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t expect that kind of sacrifice. Maybe we could try one of those temporary kinds.” She waited, hoping he was as intrigued by the whole charade concept as she was.

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Tony. You’re a real friend. I’ll let you know when I’ve made the arrangements. Is there any weekend I should avoid?”

“Not really. My social calendar isn’t what you’d call jammed.”

So he wasn’t dating anyone yet, she thought. He really was ripe for a rebound affair. She’d have to be careful. “It takes time after a divorce.”

“Yeah. But hey, things are looking up. I’ve just been invited to spend a long weekend with a beautiful woman.”

She laughed, as if he’d made a joke, but it didn’t feel like a joke. “Thanks for the compliment.” She liked having him call her beautiful, but she couldn’t encourage him to think there could be something between them. “But I’m afraid it’ll be a platonic weekend.”

He shrugged. “It’s a start.” As he walked out the door, he paused and turned back to her. “Oh, and about that tattoo…”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll check into the temporary kind. It may not be all that important, anyway.”

“You don’t have to check into anything.” He gave her a killer smile. “I already have one.”

2

THE NIGHT BEFORE the trip to Sedona, Tony dug in his closet, unearthing memories as he worked, and came up with a couple of pairs of jeans he’d worn in high school. Michelle had begged him to get rid of this old stuff, claiming that he had no reason to keep it.

But there was a reason. He didn’t want to totally lose the connection to the hell-raiser he’d been back then, and the clothes helped make that connection. He smiled to himself. Lynn had no idea that the punk she’d described as her parents’ worst nightmare was Tony Russo fourteen years ago.

The tattoo was a souvenir from his senior year, his way of balancing the embarrassment of ending up the valedictorian. When he got drunk with his buddies one night and was caught spray-painting Class of ‘84 on the hood of the principal’s Caddy, the school board hadn’t wanted to let him graduate, let alone give the valedictory speech. His mother had pleaded his case and suggested his penance be cleaning gum off the bottom of the bleachers. To this day the smell of chewing gum made him sick to his stomach.

He pulled open a dresser drawer and dug in the back for the white T-shirts he hardly ever wore these days. They’d seen a lot of use at one time, and they felt soft and familiar in his grip. He kept one out for the plane ride and tossed the rest in a large duffel bag just as the phone on the bedside table rang. As he picked up the receiver, he wondered if Lynn had some last-minute instructions for him.

“Tony?”

Michelle. And she sounded as if she’d been crying, dammit. He tried to harden his heart. “Yeah, Michelle.”

“Are you busy?”

He tensed. “Kind of. What’s wrong?”

“I’d like…” She sniffed. “I’d like to come over, if it’s okay.”

He glanced at the clock. Michelle in tears, wanting to see him at eleven at night, couldn’t mean anything but trouble with Jerry. Jerry, his stockbroker and health-club buddy, the guy who’d spent his evenings playing handball with Tony and his afternoons playing bedroom games with Michelle.

“I know it’s late.” Michelle’s voice quavered. “I just…need to talk to somebody.”

He sighed. “Okay.”

“Thanks, Tony.”

“Don’t mention it. That’s what ex-husbands are for.” As he hung up, he wondered why he hadn’t told her to get lost. She deserved to be told that, after the way she’d treated him. He was a sucker when it came to the women in his life, just as his brothers and sisters had always said. They’d advised him to use the adultery issue to make sure Michelle didn’t get a dime, but instead he’d agreed to split their assets down the middle. His family called that stupid, but he’d handled enough divorce cases to know that nobody was blameless. He’d been concentrating too hard on his job, leaving her alone too much and paving the way for Jerry to step in.

For the first couple of years of marriage everything had been wonderful. She’d been his Uptown Girl, just like in the Billy Joel song that had been such a hit back in high school. It hadn’t hurt that she’d looked a little like Christie Brinkley, and he’d always identified with a working-class type like Billy Joel. Then he’d become more involved in his law career and had never quite noticed that the magic was slipping away.

He repressed thoughts of Michelle and his mistakes as best he could and continued packing. As much as he’d resisted the idea of Operation Gigolo when Lynn had first proposed it, he’d finally realized he’d be a fool to refuse. He’d wanted to ask her out for weeks, but he’d held back, afraid she’d think a recently divorced guy was a bad risk. As family-law specialists they’d both seen how divorce screwed up anyone’s judgment concerning the opposite sex.

He figured she’d think any interest on his part was strictly on the rebound from Michelle. At this point, Tony wondered if she might not be right. Maybe it was a good thing Michelle was coming over. He hadn’t seen her for six months.

He stared at his open duffel and wondered if he’d forgotten anything. Cigarettes. Lynn had said something about a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, but he’d given up smoking years ago. Then he remembered that Sam, another lawyer friend, had left half a pack behind over the weekend when he’d dropped over to watch a Cubs game on TV. Tony walked into the kitchen and rummaged through his catchall drawer until he found the cigarettes he’d tossed in there, meaning to return them.

Shaking one out, he found matches in the same drawer and cupped the flame as he lit up. Funny how the action, after so many years, brought back the old swagger. It brought back a slight cough, too. He’d never been a heavy smoker, doing it more for effect than for the nicotine buzz. That had made quitting more bearable than it had been for some of his high-school pals. If he limited himself to one cigarette whenever he was around Lynn’s parents, he shouldn’t get hooked again.

The doorbell rang, and he took another drag on the cigarette before walking over to let Michelle in.

“Tony!” Sobbing, she flung herself dramatically into his arms.

He damn near burned her with the cigarette as he caught her. “Easy, Michelle.” Holding the cigarette a safe distance away, he put an arm around her trembling shoulders and guided her to the couch. “What’s the problem?”

She plopped down and gazed at him through brimming eyes. The glue on her right eyelash was failing, and the black fringe dangled from her eyelid, dancing like a drunk butterfly each time she blinked.

“Eyelash alert,” he said automatically. He’d forgotten how lousy she’d always been at putting them on, but she persisted, believing that her own blond lashes were too short and undramatic. Her hair wasn’t as thick as she’d like it to be, either, and he knew that at this very moment she had fake hair fastened in with her own. He’d never been able to run his fingers through Michelle’s hair without danger of permanent injury from the metal clips.

“Thanks.” She reached up and pulled the eyelash off, which left her with an interesting effect—one eye ready to party and the other one ready for sleep. She began to sniffle again and searched through her minuscule shoulder bag.

“Damn, you can’t put anything in these. Do you have a—”

“Here.” He pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket and handed it to her. As she blew her nose, he took another drag on the cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray.

“Oh, Tony…” She wiped her eyes and took a shaky breath. “I should never have left you for Jerry.”

His heart clutched. That had been what he’d wanted to hear for months, right? So why wasn’t he feeling a thrill of triumph, instead of this uneasy dread? “What’s happened?” he asked.

“He sucks his teeth.”

Tony laughed. It wasn’t a kind thing to do, and he controlled it as quickly as he could. “You didn’t notice that before?”

“Well, sort of, but I didn’t think I’d care. Did you…did you ever notice that about him?”

“Yeah, but when you’re playing handball it’s not a big item of concern.”

“That’s not all. He wears some of his underwear until it’s dangling from the elastic by about three threads.” She glanced at Tony. “You knew that, too, didn’t you?”

He shrugged. “We dressed in the same locker room. Sure I noticed.” After the fact, he wished he’d checked out Jerry’s studly endowments, too. The guy had stolen his wife, and Tony couldn’t help wondering if Jerry was more than a good listener.

“I threw all the raggedy ones away today, and he yelled at me. Then I yelled at him about his teeth, and he yelled about stabbing himself on my hair clips, and then he said my eyelashes gave him a rash and looked stupid.”

“Then he shouldn’t wear your eyelashes, should he?”

She giggled. “You know what I mean. Do my eyelashes look stupid, Tony?”

“Uh, not when they’re both attached.” Which was seldom, he remembered. But he’d loved her, idiosyncrasies and all.

She sighed. “You were so easy to live with.”

But she hadn’t been, he was remembering now. With each year, she’d needed more reassurance that she was beautiful and desirable. He’d grown tired of the constant questioning, and his answers must have become tired and clichéd, too. That could have had a lot to do with the Jerry episode. Nothing like an affair to shore up somebody’s ego.

“I thought you were in love with Jerry,” he said quietly. He’d expected to feel pain when he said that, but miraculously, he didn’t.

“I thought I was too, but how can you love somebody who sucks his teeth and wears Swiss-cheese underwear?”

For the first time in the whole mess he was beginning to understand. He’d committed himself to love and cherish, in sickness and in health, through hairpieces and dangling eyelashes, but Michelle had been operating on a much shallower level. And she still was.

She took a deep breath. “I thought about all this during the cab ride over here. I think you and I should give it another try.”

“You spent the whole cab ride thinking about that?” He heard the sarcasm in his voice and decided that wouldn’t help matters. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“What was uncalled for?”

He gazed at her. She hadn’t caught the sarcasm. For her, a cab ride across Chicago was plenty of time to consider changing her life, and the lives of those around her. Like so many others who came through his law office, he’d invested his love in the wrong person. But it didn’t seem to be invested there anymore. Still, they’d shared a lot, and he wanted her to be as happy as she could be, considering the emotional handicaps she had to overcome.

“I don’t think getting back together is the answer,” he said gently.

“But I do, Tony.”

“Well, I don’t, and I’ll tell you why. One of the reasons you didn’t notice irritating little things about me was that I wasn’t here much. When I was, I was on my best behavior. Eventually, though, you’d find out that I whistle off-key and I’m a manic channel surfer.”

“Your whistling’s cute.”

“You haven’t heard much of it. I’ve been at the office, trying to forge this career. Ask Sam about my whistling.”

“Whistling wouldn’t bother me. And you hardly ever watch TV.”

“Ah, but one day I’ll have more time, and then I’d use that remote to drive you crazy.”

“Tony, none of that matters. What matters is—”

“What, Michelle? What matters?”

“That we love each other.” Her blue eyes grew dreamy.

He felt a nostalgic tug, remembering how he used to respond to that look of hers. “Ten months ago you told me you loved Jerry.”

“I was so wrong.”

“Then learn to love him.”

The dreamy look dissolved as she stared at him. “What?”

“I’m sure Jerry has lots of good qualities.”

“Name one.”

“Hey.” He chuckled. “Don’t ask me to do that. I’m willing to be charitable, but listing Jerry’s good qualities is a little much, even for a sap like me.”

“See, you don’t like him!”

“No, but you need to. You left our marriage for him, and you need to find things about him that you can cherish, things that make the holey underwear and the teeth-sucking seem like small change.”

“I thought you’d understand.” She flounced to her feet, looking petulant. “But you’re just making fun of me.”

He stood and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Actually, I’ve never been more serious in my life.”

“I don’t believe that. I think—” Her eyes narrowed.

“You’ve found someone, haven’t you?”

“No.” A picture of Lynn flashed through his mind. He’d bet he could run his fingers through her rich brown hair without being stabbed. But as of now Lynn was only a good friend and their current arrangement was just a charade to fool her parents. “No, there’s no one,” he said.

“Then why won’t you consider getting back together?”

He searched for the words that would make her understand without hurting her. “Look, I still care about you. I probably always will. But that deep, down-to-the-bone commitment I used to have, that feeling that I’d give my life for you—that’s gone, Michelle. I didn’t know that until you came over tonight, but I know it now.”

“We could get it back!”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Make up with Jerry. Work on what you have.” He smiled. “Buy him some sexy new underwear.”

“You are making fun of me.” She glared at him.

“Honest, I’m not.”

“You really don’t think we should start over?”

He shook his head.

“Then I might as well go home to Jerry.”

He followed her to the door and opened it. “That’s what I’m saying. He’s your best shot, not me.”

She started into the hall, then paused and glanced back at him. “Are you sure my eyelashes don’t look stupid?”

“They’re part of you, Michelle. Don’t change a thing.”

She smiled. “Thanks.” Then she frowned, as if trying to remember something. “Were you smoking when I first came in?”

It was just like her to be so wrapped up in herself that she hadn’t noticed until now. He thought about explaining and decided not to. “Yeah, I was.”

She shuddered. “Yuck. I would hate that.”

“See? We’re really not right for each other anymore.” Then, to get a laugh out of her, he sucked loudly on his teeth.

It worked. She laughed. “We had some good times, didn’t we, Tony?”

A whisper of what he used to feel for her passed over his heart and was gone. “Yes, we did. Take care of yourself, Michelle.”

“You, too.”

He watched her walk down the hallway and could find no regret remaining in his soul. It was a good way to begin tomorrow’s adventure.

LYNN LIVED at the opposite end of Chicago from Tony, so they hadn’t seen much percentage in sharing a cab to O’Hare. She’d agreed to meet him at the gate, and as she stood in the waiting area, fidgeting with the handle of her rolling carry-on, she took several calming breaths. Preperformance jitters, probably, similar to the ones she got before stepping into the courtroom.

Except this nervousness had a special edge to it. She’d come up with the idea in the heat of the crisis, and she still loved the plan, but she’d had time to consider the ramifications in the days since then. For example, she’d have to put on a convincing display of affection for Tony, which meant putting their arms around each other a lot, not to mention kissing and nuzzling in public whenever possible. The more sickening the display, the better. The only physical contact she’d had with Tony was limited to handshakes and the one time she’d hugged him after the divorce decree was handed down. Yet she couldn’t imagine how they’d practice such a thing, so they’d have to hope they looked natural doing something they’d never done with each other before.

And then there was the matter of sharing a cottage with one king-size bed in it. She hadn’t figured out how they’d handle the sleeping arrangements, and she’d been too chicken to bring up the subject when she’d discussed the plans with Tony. Maybe there was a couch. Or they could put a rolled blanket down the center of the bed, the way her mother used to divide up the space when her cousin Sherilee had come to spend the night. But Tony wasn’t exactly Sherilee.

No, he certainly wasn’t. She spotted him strolling down the terminal, an insolent smile on his face. His white T-shirt molded itself lovingly to his muscled chest, and the fit of his jeans was almost indecent. His hair hung rakishly over his forehead, and even his walk was different. Lynn swallowed. Dear Lord, what had she let herself in for? He wasn’t even Tony anymore.

When he reached her, he dropped his duffel bag to the floor and swept her into his arms. “Hey, baby,” he said in a low voice. Then he kissed her, hard.

Nearby, somebody whistled in admiration.

At first, Lynn was too shocked to react, and too fascinated by the feel of Tony’s lips on hers. Finally, she gained enough command of herself to try shoving him away. He didn’t shove very easily.

“Where are you going, sweet thing?” he asked, holding her fast as he gave her a lazy smile. “Aren’t you glad to see your lover boy?”

Her heart hammered as she saw the light of desire in his dark eyes. She had to remind herself he was playing a role. “Tony, let go of me. You’re carrying this a bit far. We don’t have to start our act just yet.”

He rubbed her back, and his hand crept lower, to cup her behind. “Don’t you think we need to warm up to it, baby doll?”

Damned if he wasn’t turning her on with this macho-stud routine. Aware of several people staring, she spoke through clenched teeth. “Not in the middle of the airport, we don’t.”

He gave her a wink and a gentle pinch on the bottom. “If you say so, sweetcakes.”

She stepped away from him, her cheeks hot. “Honestly, Tony.”

He grinned at her, looking a little more like his normal self. “I thought before we climbed on this bird you might appreciate a sneak preview, in case you wanted to back out of the deal.”

She adjusted her clothes. “Um, I…no, I don’t want to back out. I just wasn’t expecting…” Damn, she was stammering like a high-school kid with a crush. Unable to take her gaze from him, she grasped for something sensible to talk about. “Where did you get those clothes? They don’t look new.”

“From the back of my closet.”

“You used to wear stuff like that?”

“Sure. All the time.” He tucked the pack of cigarettes more securely in the roll of his T-shirt sleeve. Beneath it, his biceps flexed, drawing attention to the dragon tattooed there.

She stared at that rippling dragon. That’s right, he’d said he had a tattoo, and there it was, real as could be. Forcing her gaze back to his face, she cleared her throat. “Tony, are you telling me that you used to be—”

“The guy your mother warned you about. Yup. Drove too fast, drank too much, tried my best to reduce the population of vir—”

“Spare me the details of your conquests.”

“Not conquests,” he said softly. “I wasn’t a predator, Lynn. I never took what wasn’t offered.”

No doubt the offers were plentiful, she thought. At seventeen she wouldn’t have dared hook up with a guy like this…yet how she’d wanted to. Her teenage sexual fantasies had been filled with tight jeans, motorcycles and muscle. And now she had to wonder if this escapade had been partly born of those unsatisfied fantasies. If so, she could be in a lot of trouble, because Tony had turned out to be the real thing.

She took a deep breath. “I had no idea you had that kind of background. I assumed, with your degree from Harvard, that you’d been a…”

“Nerd?” He laughed. “I’ve worked hard turning myself into a nerd in the past fourteen years, so maybe I’ve succeeded. Hey, I think they just called our flight.”

“They did?” She hadn’t heard a thing. Apparently, one of the jets could have plowed nose first into the terminal and she wouldn’t have noticed that, either. She needed to snap out of it, and fast. “Then I guess we’d better go.”

He gestured toward the jetway. “I’ll follow you.” His gaze became hooded and suggestive. “I sure do enjoy walking behind a chick with a tight…schedule.”

“Tony Russo!”

He winked at her. “Get used to it, Lynn. You’re supposed to be loving comments like that, remember? Looks like I’ll have to coach the witness on the plane ride.” He gave her a shallow bow. “After you.”

3

WHEN THEY REACHED their seats, Lynn started to put her suitcase in the overhead bin, as she always did.

“Not while I’m around, sugarcakes.” Tony took hold of the suitcase.

“I can do it.” She hated helpless females, and she continued with the task.

“Don’t make me get rough, woman.” Still holding on to the suitcase, Tony loomed over her. Incoming passengers pressed from behind, plastering them together. “Women’s lib detoured right around this boy.”

Her body reacted to the close quarters by becoming aroused. Great. “What are you talking about? You’re very liberated!”

He leaned down and murmured in her ear. “For the next four days, I’m a chauvinist pig, remember? Now give me that suitcase and go sit down.”

“And which seat did you want me to take, darling?” she asked with exaggerated humility.

He smiled. “Much better, except for the teensy bit of sarcasm. You can have the window.”

She batted her eyelashes. “But that would put you in the middle seat, and I can’t believe you’d be happy there, sweetheart.”

“That depends. Maybe somebody as hot as you will take the aisle seat, and I can be the filling in a babe sandwich.”

Lynn groaned and edged into the far seat as Tony hoisted her suitcase into the overhead bin with an admirable display of biceps and triceps. He heaved his duffel in after it.

She noticed the gaze of many female passengers avidly following Tony’s moves. Their attention would return briefly to Lynn, then swing back to Tony, and the speculation was obvious in their expressions. She’d worn her normal traveling outfit—silk blouse, tailored shorts and jacket, nylons and designer shoes. The contrast with Tony’s more casual clothes made him seem younger, somehow. In fact, he looked exactly like what she’d intended for her parents to see—her boy toy.

When he sat down beside her, she leaned toward him and lowered her voice. “Thanks, but I really think you’re laying it on a little thick.”

“According to you, that’s not possible. You want your parents frothing at the mouth, right?”

“Well…yes, but—”

“And from your reaction to my act, you need a lot of practice being my main squeeze.”

She gazed at him and shook her head in wonder. “I can’t believe I’m sitting next to Anthony J. Russo, attorney-at-law.”

“You’re not. You’re sitting next to Tony The Tomcat.” His dark eyes twinkled. “Around Midvale High, they used to say I was born to prowl.”

“Oh, please.” She struggled to hang on to a more comfortable reality. “You know, I could really screw up your image around the office with that information.”

“I know. I’m trusting you not to.”

“Of course I won’t. But honestly, Tony, this is an incredible transformation.”

He smiled. “Oh, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet, sweetface.”

“My God, I’ve created a monster.”

“The better to freak out your old man and old lady, hot pants.”

Lynn rolled her eyes. “We may not even get to Sedona. At this rate we’ll accomplish the mission thirty seconds from the time we meet them at the Phoenix airport.” She glanced beyond him as a young man in a ponytail consulted his ticket and sat down next to Tony. “Too bad, lover boy. No babe sandwich,” she murmured.

“Well, damn.” He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “Guess I’ll have to make do with you.”

“Tony!” Her cheeks burning, she pulled back, but she was limited in how much distance she could put between them. She pretended that she didn’t like his outrageous advances, but the problem was she liked them too much. Her lips tingled and she wished he’d kiss her again…and stay a while next time.

He shook his head and clucked his tongue at her. “You’ve got to quit shying away or your parents will never believe this stunt. I suggest we draw up ground rules and a plan of action.”

“A plan. That’s a good idea.” She couldn’t possibly talk about it now without hyperventilating. She grabbed the airline magazine out of the seat pocket in front of her. “Maybe during lunch.” She started rapidly flipping the pages.

“I’ll be damned. Lynn Morgan, attorney-at-law, is flustered.”

She glanced up at him. “No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.” He gazed at her, a smile on his face. “Ever since I appeared in the terminal you’ve been a basket case. I never thought I’d see the day that you’d totally lose your cool, Counselor.”

“This is an unusual situation.” She looked at the magazine, desperate for a way out of the conversation. “Oh, look. An article about forcing tulip bulbs. I’ve always wondered how they do that.” She pretended great interest in the first few paragraphs.

“From what I hear, if you know how to stroke a tulip, no force is necessary.”

Zip, a surge of desire dived straight down to the tender spot where it would do the most damage. “You’re incorrigible,” she muttered, trying to sound nonchalant and failing miserably.

“That’s the idea.” He leaned back in his chair. “Okay, I’ll leave you alone to read about the mating habits of flowers.”

As if she could concentrate on anything but keeping her breathing steady. She abandoned the armrest between them because using it meant he might rest his arm there, too, and she wasn’t up to that much contact at the moment. Still, there was no avoiding this potent male by her side whose knee brushed against hers occasionally and whose shoulder touched her shoulder whenever he shifted in his seat. And there was no turning back. The plane roared to the end of the runway and lifted into the sky.

TONY WAS SURPRISED and secretly delighted that his behavior had Lynn so shook up. In her logical way, she might have thought they could pretend to be lovers to fool her parents and keep their emotions strictly out of it. He’d acted on impulse, kissing her like that when he met her at the terminal, but boy, had he enjoyed it. And he’d be allowed—required, in fact—to kiss her a lot more. If this morning was any indication of how she’d react, this should be a very interesting trip.

Glancing at the magazine in her hand, he concluded that either she was a very slow reader, which wasn’t likely, or she was staring at the page without seeing it. She was probably contemplating what she’d let herself in for with her clever little scheme.

He decided to let her muse on that for a while and struck up a conversation with the man seated next to him. The guy was a psychologist named Jeff, and he became increasingly friendly as Tony revealed himself to be more educated than his manner of dress would have suggested. They exchanged cards with promises that Tony would contact Jeff if he ever needed counseling and Jeff would contact Tony if he ever needed legal advice.

“Which I very well might, one of these days,” Jeff said as lunch arrived.

“Give me a call,” Tony said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a strategy session scheduled with my…traveling companion.”

“Sure.” Jeff looked openly curious, but he didn’t ask any questions.

Tony unwrapped his silverware and glanced at Lynn. “We need to talk. We’ll be in Phoenix before you know it.”

She concentrated very hard on sprinkling pepper on her salad. “Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m nervous.”

“We could land in Phoenix, tell them we had a terrible argument on the plane and catch the next flight home.”

She put down the pepper package and looked at him. “No, we can’t. I know the strategy will work, and it’s all set up, but I—” She glanced away and took a deep breath. “I’m afraid your original assessment might be right. I’m not used to lying, and I may be too…too inhibited to pull this off.”

His heart went out to her. She wanted so much to help her parents, but it went against her natural truthfulness and modesty. He liked those traits in her, but they would ruin her plan unless she overrode them for a few days.

He searched for a way to put her more at ease. “Maybe if you direct things, instead of me just foisting myself on you, it won’t seem so invasive. We could have signals, like in baseball.”

A tiny smile appeared on her sweet mouth. “Signals?”

“Yeah, like clearing your throat means I stick my tongue in your ear, scratching your nose means a French kiss, and brushing your shoulder means I grab your—”

“Forget it,” she said quickly, the color rising in her cheeks.

“The signals? Or grabbing?”

“Both.”

“We can think of a better idea than the signals, but if we’re going to put on a completely nauseating show, I should probably do a little grabbing. In fact, you should, too. Parents hate that, but it will be very convincing. I’ll grab easy, I promise.”

“Where…where would you…?”

“The standard places.”

“I don’t have any standard places.”

He laughed and gulped some water, suddenly needing a drink. “Sorry. I absolutely agree. Your places are way above average.”

She gazed at him for a long moment, her expression revealing her turmoil.

“It was a joke,” he said.

“I know.” She sighed and leaned back against the seat.

“Maybe this is hopeless. I’m probably not up to it.”

“Hey, that doesn’t sound like the Lynn Morgan I know.” He studied her tense profile. There was character in that face, and although she wasn’t a blond bombshell like Michelle, she had an elegant beauty that appealed to him. Appealed to him a lot. “The Lynn Morgan I work with every day doesn’t give up before she’s even started.”

She turned her head to look at him. “It’s a tougher job than I imagined, Tony. How in the world am I going to manage?”

“By relaxing, and thinking of it as play instead of serious stuff.” He smiled. “If we’re going to make fools of ourselves this weekend, we might as well enjoy it. Loosen up and have fun with this crazy scheme of yours.”

She held his gaze, and gradually the tense lines around her eyes and mouth eased, and mischief began to dance in her brown eyes. “Okay. Just what do you have in mind, big boy?”

Whoa. He hadn’t expected her to pack such a wallop.

He wasn’t going to have to fake this attraction. “Just keep looking at me like that, and we’ll have it made,” he said.

“I thought you wanted to plan our moves.”

He swallowed. He’d like to make one on her right here, right now. Planning ahead might be overkill. “I think when the time comes, we’ll know what to do.”

“You’re sure?”

Oh, yes. “Just keep in mind that we’re supposed to be so filled with love and lust that we can’t keep our hands off each other.” He took another drink of water. Surely his hand wasn’t trembling. Nothing bothered Tony The Tomcat.

“Excuse me,” Jeff said, putting his hand on Tony’s arm.

“But I couldn’t help overhearing some of your conversation. I have some knowledge in this area, and I think you’re both making a big mistake.”

Tony glanced at him in amazement. “Look, Jeff, with all due respect, I don’t think we need your—”

“You should see the color of your aura right now. And hers. You’re both troubled.” Jeff smiled. “Let me help. No charge.”

Lynn leaned forward and gave him a puzzled glance. “I must be missing something.”

Jeff faced her, his expression earnest. “Take pride in who you are! If society makes you ashamed, just surround yourself with white light, stand up and say, ‘This is me. I may be different from you, but that doesn’t make me less valuable, or less moral.’”

Tony had thought the guy was fairly rational, but he was reassessing that conclusion. “Listen, Jeff, are you overdue for some medication, or something? I’ll be glad to call the flight attendant and get you a—”

“I’m having a little trouble with my sun center these days, but meditation and color therapy seems to be taking care of it. In fact, I should be wearing my chakra glasses right this minute. Thanks for reminding me.” He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a pair of canary-tinted wraparound sunglasses and put them on.

Tony stared at him.

“That’s better,” Jeff said, as if it was perfectly normal to wear yellow sunglasses inside an airplane. He patted Tony’s knee. “My practice is filled with people of your persuasion, my friend. I advise you both to confess the truth to your parents. I promise you’ll be cleansed by the experience, and so will they. After all, everybody’s coming out these days.”

“What?” Tony instinctively rose out of his seat and bumped into the lap tray, upsetting his water glass into his lunch. Beside him, he could hear Lynn’s muffled laughter.

“Look, Jeff, I’m not—”

“Oh, Tony, of course you are. Why else would a lawyer feel it necessary to dress like that? You’re trying to project some macho image to throw people off the track, but it’s not working, and you know it.”

“I am not gay.” Tony realized he’d said that a little loud, and people were turning in their seats to check out the conversation.

Lynn cleared her throat and leaned over Tony’s destroyed lunch to gaze at Jeff. “He’s really not,” she said. Her lips were twitching, as if she was having a hell of a time keeping a straight face. “Dressing that way was my idea.”

“I’m not surprised.” Jeff looked knowing. “You’re projecting your own desire to act that role onto Tony. Be courageous! Wear the tight jeans and T-shirt yourself! Go for the motorcycle boots and the tattoo! Believe me, you’ll feel so much better.”

“Okay, here’s the deal,” Lynn said. “My parents are having some problems, and so—”

“There you go. I’ll bet they’re struggling with sexual issues, themselves. Clear the air for all of you, and you might have more in common than you think.”

Tony spoke through clenched teeth. “We…are…straight. All of us. Straight as a board.”

Jeff smiled and settled back against his seat. “You are so typical of my other clients. So defensive. You have my card. When you’re ready to honor that side of yourself, give me a call. I know a great sweat lodge.” He put on a pair of earphones and switched on a small tape recorder he had in his shirt pocket.

Tony had stuck Jeff’s business card in his wallet, and now it seemed to burn a hole in his butt. He longed to get it out and tear it into little pieces, but that would give Jeff more evidence that he was being defensive.

So he turned to look at Lynn instead. Yes, he was definitely heterosexual. He wanted to wring her neck for helping him get into such a ridiculous conversation, but even more he wanted to plant kisses on that neck.

She pressed her lips together and her eyes brimmed with laughter.

He lowered his voice. “You enjoyed that, didn’t you?”

She nodded.

“There goes my bid for the presidential nomination.”

“Tony! I didn’t know you had that kind of ambition.”

“I don’t, but if I did, I’d be dead in the water, and it’s all your fault.”

Her eyes rounded in innocence. “My fault? I defended you.”

“You were trying not to laugh the whole time. Very unconvincing defense, Counselor.”

“Want me to try again?”

“God, no. The harder we protest, the more he believes.” He found his own sense of humor gradually returning. “I’ve been accused of many things in my life, but never that.”

“You’re a very good friend, Tony. I’m sorry I laughed when you were dealing with him, but you have to admit it’s kind of funny. I never imagined somebody would draw that conclusion from our discussion.”

“No telling what the rest of the plane thinks, either, after I shouted out my sexual preference.”

“It doesn’t matter. I know you’re all male.” She paused and gave him a questioning look. “Aren’t you?”

“You’ll pay for that one, Morgan,” he said with a grim smile. And as the plane started its descent into the Phoenix area, he started anticipating the ways he might prove to her that he was, indeed, all male.

WHEN LYNN MADE everyone’s plane reservations, she’d coordinated the flights so that her parents would be waiting at the gate when she and Tony arrived. She had a grand entrance in mind.

After the plane landed and people began leaving their seats, Tony leaned toward her. “Let’s give our boy Jeff a head start,” he said in an undertone.

Just then Jeff stood and laid a hand on Tony’s shoulder.

Lynn smothered a smile as Tony flinched.

Jeff leaned over, and the crystal on a cord around his neck dangled next to Tony’s ear. “Keep me posted,” Jeff said. “I’m there for you if you need a friend.”

“Right.” Tony didn’t look at him.

“See you later.” Jeff gave Tony’s shoulder a squeeze and moved into the aisle.

“Not if I see you first,” Tony muttered under his breath.

“Don’t worry,” Lynn said, taking pity on him. “Have you ever once met someone again after sitting next to them on a plane?”

“I guess you’re right. Is he gone?”

“He just walked out the door. I think we’re safe.”

“Then let’s go play heterosexual games for your parents’ benefit.”

Lynn’s heart pounded as she pulled her wheeled carry-on down the jetway with Tony close behind. As long as she focused on her parents’ threat of divorce, she’d be fine. To avoid that, she’d be willing to do almost anything. She knew they loved each other, and they’d be miserable if they separated. She’d be miserable, too. They’d been a trusted anchor all her life, and she wouldn’t give up that feeling of safety without a fight.

Just before she emerged from the jetway, she paused and turned to Tony. “Ready?”

“Yup. As soon as we’re clear of the tunnel, I’m putting my arm around you. Look adoring.”

“Adoring. Got it.” She stepped out of the jetway.

The next few seconds delivered one sensory shock after another. First, she glimpsed her mother, whose usual conservative hairstyle had been replaced by the electrocuted look. The wild red curls were at complete odds with the stern expression on Gladys Morgan’s face, but they perfectly matched the lime green, shimmery material of her tank top and shorts. Lynn almost expected to see in-line skates on her mother’s feet, but instead she wore platform shoes.

About that time, Tony pulled her close and nuzzled her neck. “Kiss me, gorgeous,” he murmured.

“Tony, my mother—”

“Your mother needs to see some liplock.”

“She’s…oh my God.” Lynn’s gaze slid a few feet across the terminal and she discovered her father, his arms crossed and his expression grim as he watched her arrival. Bud Morgan hadn’t permed his hair—he’d shaved it all off. The terminal lights gleamed on his polished head, and fancy-looking sunglasses hung from a cord around his neck. The man who had worn either white dress shirts or neutral polos all his life had on a wild plaid shirt and bright orange shorts that hurt Lynn’s eyes.

“Hey, babe. Showtime.” Tony slipped his hand from her waist to her bottom and squeezed.

With a gasp of indignation, she turned toward him, and he swooped into a kiss, plunging his tongue into her open mouth. When she tried to struggle free, he held her head and continued the assault. Gradually, her surroundings began to fade as his tongue probed and teased, stroked and suggested. She lost her grip on her suitcase and discovered something to do with her free hand as she ran her fingers through the remembered silkiness of Tony’s hair.

The rhythm of her pulse changed from the adrenaline rush of seeing her parents’ new look to the insistent surge of desire for the man kissing her so thoroughly. A soft moan rose from her throat.

Tony lifted his mouth a fraction from hers. “That was…excellent,” he said, his breathing uneven.

Her father’s voice penetrated her fog of sensuous enjoyment. “If you’ve completed the tonsillectomy, Doctor, maybe we could get on our way toward Sedona.”

Lynn felt the blush rising as she pulled away from Tony.

“Lynn.” Her mother could get more reprimand into one syllable than anybody alive. “For heaven’s sake. Show some breeding.”

That made Lynn chuckle as she turned toward her mother of the lime-green fashion mistake. “Mom, Dad…” She took a deep breath. “I’d like you to meet the father of your future grandchild, Tony Russo.”

“Cleanse your conscience, my friends,” intoned a familiar voice.

With a feeling of foreboding, Lynn looked over to find Jeff standing on the outskirts of the group.

Tell them you’re gay, Jeff mouthed. Then with a smile and a wave, he started down the terminal.

As Tony muttered an oath, Lynn glanced quickly toward her mother, a legendary reader of lips.

“Gay?” Gladys looked from Lynn to Tony. “Who’s gay? I thought you were pregnant and he was the impregnator?”

“I am. He is,” Lynn said. “Forget it. Let’s go.”

Bud ignored his daughter and put a protective arm around Gladys’s shoulders. “I wish I didn’t have to be the one to tell you, Gladys, but I’ve learned a few things, living as I have in the soft underbelly of the city.”

“Take your arm off me,” Gladys said. “There’s no telling where that arm has been. And I want no more of that soft underbelly talk. It’s indecent.”

“Indecent?” Bud looked sad as a basset hound. “Try this one on for size. Our little girl and this…Tony person, have become what they call bi.”

Lynn choked. “Dad, we’re not! That guy—”

“By? By who?” Gladys looked completely at sea.

“AC–DC.”

“Look.” Tony sounded agitated. “You’ve got it wrong. We—”

“Isn’t AC–DC one of those rock groups?” Gladys asked.

“I’m trying to tell you they’re bi sexual, Gladys.”

“Saints preserve us.” With that invocation, Gladys slipped to the floor in a dead faint.

4

TONY REACTED instinctively. Dropping his duffel bag, he crouched beside Gladys and supported her head and shoulders against his knee. “Lynn, get some water,” he said. At least Gladys’s pulse was strong, he noted as he placed his fingers against her carotid artery.

“Take your hands off her, you pervert!” Bud squatted and tried to wrestle Gladys away from Tony. His gold chains dangled in her face as he pulled her toward him.

“Gladys, dammit, did you put on another one of those strapless gut-buster things? If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times—”

“Gut-buster?” Tony looked bewildered.

“We’re talkin’ serious underwire.” Bud put a hand on his wife’s midriff. “Yup, she’s trussed up like a turkey. Gotta get her out of that thing so she can breathe.”

“Here?” Tony croaked.

“Can’t. She’d kill me.”

“Uh…” Tony glanced around nervously. Quite a crowd had gathered around them.

“Here’s the water,” Lynn said, handing him a plastic bottle. “But all she needs is to get her bustier off and she’ll be fine. She always is.”

“Go clear the women’s rest room,” Tony said, scooping Gladys up in his arms and standing in one clean motion.

“Dad, get the bags,” Lynn said as she hurried off.

Bud picked up Tony’s duffel and grabbed the handle of Lynn’s carry-on before running after Tony. “That was some bench press. Like a human forklift or something. Do you work out?”

“Yeah, some.” Tony aimed for the nearest sign reading Women. Then he remembered the image he was supposed to project. “A hard body impresses the hell out of the chicks,” he added.

Bud’s eyes narrowed. “Hey, I forgot, I don’t want you touching my wife!”

“Better let him carry her, Dad,” Lynn called over her shoulder. “Or you’ll throw out your back, like you did the last time.” Then she ducked into the rest room.

“Last time?” Tony glanced at Bud. “This happens a lot?”

“Not a lot. Five, maybe six times. When she wears her gut-buster.”

“I think I’d burn the gut-busters, Bud. Can I call you Bud?”

“No.”

“Have it your way, Dad.”

“All clear!” Lynn called from the bathroom entrance.

“Dad, you stand guard with the luggage while Tony and I take care of this.”

“Make sure you do the unhooking, not hotshot, here.”

“I promise, Dad.”

Tony winked at him. “Me, too, Dad.” The look on Bud’s face told Tony that he was coming across just the way he needed to. He’d seen that look on the faces of several fathers during his high-school days. He’d also noticed how protective Bud was of Gladys. These two would only need a few more nudges and they’d be back together, just the way Lynn wanted.

Inside the rest room, he lifted Gladys to the sink counter. Her bottom fit neatly in one of the sinks, while her feet in the platform shoes eased nicely into the adjoining one.

“Don’t look,” Lynn instructed, moving in beside him and pulling her mother’s tank top from the waistband of her shorts.

“Not in a million years.” He supported Gladys with an arm around her shoulders and gazed up at the ceiling. He’d known this trip would involve some surprises, but he’d never pictured himself standing in the women’s bathroom holding an unconscious Mrs. Morgan while Lynn took off her mother’s underwear.

“You’re as sexy as they come, aren’t you?” muttered the woman in his arms, a challenge in her voice.

Tony glanced down but made sure he kept his attention firmly on Gladys’s face. “Excuse me?”

“Just as I thought! Bedroom eyes,” she said, gazing up at him. “My little girl never had a chance, did she, Romeo?”

Her evaluation that he was a predatory male out to ruin her daughter bothered him more than he’d thought it would, but it was exactly what she was supposed to think. He forced himself to give her a cocky smile.

Gladys reached up and pinched his ear.

“Hey!” He tried to resist, but she had a practiced motherlock on his earlobe. His own mom wouldn’t have been able to do it better.

She pulled his head down. “Don’t count your chickens, swivel-hips. She’ll marry you over my dead body.”

“Turn him loose, Mom,” Lynn said. “There, it’s off.” She pulled her mother’s tank top back down. “I’m throwing it in the trash.”

“No!” Gladys let go of Tony’s ear and sat up, grabbing a bra cup in the process. “I paid dearly for that bustier, and it gives me Dolly Parton cleavage! I’m keeping it!”

“No. It’s too small.” Lynn tugged back. “Besides, what about your promise that you’d throw it away after you passed out in the bowling alley?”

“I threw that one away! This one’s brand-new!”

“And you still didn’t get the bigger size, did you? Let go, Mom.”

Watching the tug-of-war, Tony rubbed his sore ear and wondered what his role was in this fracas. As the elastic garment stretched precariously between the two women, he became alarmed. Somebody could get hurt. He grabbed the middle of it and hung on tight. “Look, I don’t think this is built to—”

“There are ten angry ladies outside who just came off a three-hour flight,” Bud said, walking into the rest room.

“Uh-oh!” Gladys and Lynn said together, and let go of the bustier.

Two reinforced bra cups slapped Tony soundly on both cheeks.

Bud cringed. “Whoops.”

Lynn spun around and looked at Tony, her eyes wide. “I’m so sorry. Are you—”

“I’m terrific. Let’s just get out of here before somebody calls security.”

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