“Look, I need to make it plain that
I don’t want anything from you.
Right off the bat, I want you to
know that,” Annie said.

Shane stopped scrunching his hat in his hands and looked at her. “You don’t want anything from me. I get that, but I’m fuzzy on the rest. Why are you here? How did you find me?”

Annie crossed her arms and looked at the floor. Why does this have to be so hard? she thought. I’m trying to do the right thing.

Shane looked down, too. Annie felt his discomfort. The man was six feet tall and as good-looking as the day was long, if a woman liked the blue-eyed cowboy type with a Texas drawl that made every word in the English language sound as soft as a cotton ball.

Oh, yes, he was as sweet and kind as she remembered. And she was about to drop a bomb in his life.

PATRICIA DAVIDS

Patricia Davids continues to work as a part-time nurse in the neonatal intensive care unit while writing full-time. She enjoys researching new stories, traveling to new locations and meeting fans along the way. She and her husband of thirty-two years live in Wichita, Kansas, along with the newest addition to the household, a stray cat named Spooky. Pat always enjoys hearing from her readers. You can contact her by mail at P.O. Box 16714 Wichita, Kansas 67216, or visit her on the Web at www.patriciadavids.com.

Military Daddy
Patricia Davids

So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”

—Matthew 14:29–30

This book is dedicated to Pam Hopkins. If you

don’t know how much your belief in my talent

meant to me all those years ago, let me tell you

now. It meant the world to me then and it still does.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Oh, and please continue to baby me

when I whine about how hard this is.

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Epilogue

Dear Reader

Questions for Discussion

Chapter One

“Well? Are you going to tell him or not?”

Annie Delmar chose to ignore the question from her roommate, Crystal Mally. Instead she continued folding the freshly laundered clothes in the white plastic hamper on the foot of her twin bed. The smell of hot cotton vied with the dryer sheet’s mountain-floral scent.

Hoping to change the subject, Annie asked, “Are you going out with Jake again tonight?”

“Jake and I broke up,” Crystal said with an indifferent shrug as she continued to buff her bright red fingernail.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Annie carried a stack of knit tops to the chest of drawers in the corner. She didn’t want to talk about her current problem. It was too soon. It still didn’t seem real. Why had God done this to her?

No, it isn’t right to blame God. I did this to myself.

Crystal said, “Jake’s a loser, like all the guys I date, and don’t change the subject. Are you going to tell the guy?”

“I haven’t decided.” With a weary sigh, Annie closed the top drawer of the blue painted dresser and stood for a moment with her hands on the chipped and scratched surface.

Crystal plopped down on Annie’s bed and leaned back against the headboard. Her short bleached-blond hair framed a face that was pale and too thin. The lacy black top she wore was too tight and, as usual, she had splashed on too much of her cheap perfume. “I don’t think he needs to know. Besides, I thought you said he was being transferred overseas in a few months.”

“That’s what he told me.”

“So if you don’t tell him soon, how are you going to find him later?”

The door to the room swung inward as their housemother came in with a second hamper of laundry. “That’s a good question, Crystal. I’d like to hear your answer, Annie.”

Moving back to her bed, Annie began folding her jeans. “If he moves away and I don’t know where he went, then I can’t tell him anything, can I?”

She glanced at the woman who had taken her in when she had been at the lowest point of her life. Marge Lilly stood with the laundry basket balanced against her hip. On the far side of fifty and slightly plump, Marge managed to look both motherly and formidable at the same time. Her eyes seemed to see right through Annie, but she didn’t say anything. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Annie felt compelled to answer the unspoken censure.

“My lack of action would be an excuse to pretend the decision is out of my hands.”

“Is that true?”

“No,” she admitted with quiet resignation.

“So why not make a decision?” Marge asked gently.

Annie pressed a hand to her stomach to calm her queasiness. “Because I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong one.”

“And?” Marge prompted.

“And it’s easier to do nothing.”

“Doing nothing is a choice, Annie.”

“But not a good one. I need to make good choices.” Annie had tried to add conviction to her voice, but she’d failed miserably.

“You are in charge of your life, Annie. Just remember, God is always with you, and your friends are here to help.”

Annie nodded, but she still felt very much alone and frightened of what the future held.

“Shane, the captain wants to see you on the double.”

Corporal Shane Ross tapped the last nail into Jasper’s shoe before he dropped the horse’s leg, then straightened and looked over the animal’s back at his friend and fellow soldier, Private Avery Barnes. “Did he say why?”

“No, but he had that tone in his voice that he usually reserves for me.”

Shane grinned. Mentally running over his duties list, he couldn’t think of anything he had done wrong or missed. “I wonder what’s up.”

“It might have something to do with the pretty woman who came in looking for you. If she’s your sister, can I ask her out?”

“If I had a sister, I wouldn’t let you within fifty miles of her.”

“That’s not nice.”

“But it’s the truth.” Shane patted the horse’s rump and moved to put his tools on the bench at the rear of the farrier shed. He pulled off the heavy leather apron he used to protect his clothing and hung it on a peg. Lifting his coat from the next hook, he slipped it on.

The fire in the forge popped and hissed, adding a smoky aroma to the cold air inside the small stone building. The calendar might say it was the middle of April, but the chilly, damp wind outside made it feel more like winter than spring.

Avery stepped up to stroke Jasper’s forehead. “Now that your stint in this unit is almost over, will you be glad to get back to fixing helicopters instead of saddles and horseshoes?”

“I’ll admit I’m looking forward to spending a year in Germany, but I’ll miss the horses.”

“And me?”

“No. You, I won’t miss.” He would miss Avery and all the men in the unit, but he was more comfortable trading friendly jibes than revealing his true sentiments.

Avery fell into step beside Shane as the two of them left the farrier building. They paused at the edge of the road as three green-and-tan camouflage jeeps sped past. The Army base at Fort Riley, Kansas, bustled with constant activity. When the way was clear, they crossed the street.

The Commanding General’s Mounted Color Guard had its main office just south of the large, historic stone-and-timber stable that housed the unit’s horses and gear. At the door Avery smiled and said, “Your visitor is a real hottie. If you aren’t interested, could you get her phone number for me?”

Shane gave his buddy a friendly shove toward the stable. “Make sure the wagon wheels get greased today. Our first exhibition is a week from Saturday, and you know the captain wants everything in tip-top shape.”

Avery sketched a salute and sauntered away. Inside the tiny office building Shane pulled off his cap and tucked it under his arm, then knocked on the captain’s door. When he heard Captain Watson bid him enter, he opened it and stepped inside.

Captain Jeffery Watson was seated behind his large gray desk. The walls of the room were painted the same drab Army-issue color. An assortment of photographs and commendations in plain gold frames added the only touch of color. A faint frown marred the captain’s brow above his keen, dark eyes, and Shane wondered again what he had done wrong.

A woman sat in front of the captain’s desk, but she had her back to Shane. He couldn’t tell if she was pretty or not, but there was something familiar about her.

“Have a seat, Corporal Ross. I understand you know Miss Delmar.” He indicated with a wave of his hand the woman sitting quietly before him.

The name didn’t mean anything to Shane. She had her back to him, but he could see her dark hair was drawn into a tight braid that reached the center of her back. She was wearing a light gray jacket over a pair of faded jeans. Her shoulders were slightly hunched and she kept her head down.

Shane took a seat in the chair beside her. Glancing over, he saw her hands were clenched together so tightly in her lap that her knuckles stood out white. He leaned forward to get a glimpse of her bowed face. Recognition hit him like a mule kick to the stomach.

She was the woman from the nightclub. He had spent weeks trying to find her, without success. His satisfaction at seeing her again was quickly tempered with curiosity.

Captain Watson cleared his throat. “I’ll be in the stable. You are free to use my office for as long as you need, Miss Delmar. Corporal Ross will let me know when you are finished with this conversation.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Her soft voice held a definite edge of nervousness.

Captain Watson nodded, then left the room, closing the door behind him.

Shane unbuttoned his jacket. The room seemed hot and stuffy after the coolness of the farrier’s shed. He took a moment to study the profile of the woman he had searched for fruitlessly. Now, after almost three months, she was here. Why?

Whatever she wanted, she seemed to be having trouble finding the courage to speak. He decided to get the ball rolling. “Delmar is it? I might have had an easier time finding you if I had known your last name.”

Her head snapped up and she met his gaze. “Did you look for me?”

Her eyes were the same deep, luminous brown that he remembered. The same unhappiness he had seen before continued to lurk in their depths. He had the ridiculous urge to reach out and stroke her cheek.

“I went back to that club every night for two weeks hoping to find you again.”

She unclenched her hands, folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in the chair. “Two whole weeks. Wow! I’m flattered.”

Frowning at her sarcasm, he said, “You left first, remember?”

Her attitude of defiance faded. “I remember. Look, I made a mistake. A big, huge, gigantic mistake.”

“You don’t get to take all the blame. Nobody held a gun to my head.”

“All right, we made a huge mistake.”

Shane wasn’t proud of his behavior that night. “Just so you know, I’m not in the habit of picking up women in bars and taking them to motel rooms.”

A tiny smile curved her lips. “Corporal, I could tell. And just so you know, I used to pick up guys in bars all the time for the price of a drink and I’ve seen the inside of a cheap motel more than once.”

Annie Delmar watched the soldier’s eyes widen as the meaning of her words sank in. To his credit, he didn’t make any smart remarks. She had heard plenty of them in her time, but she never got used to the hurt.

This was so much harder than she had imagined. She wanted to sink through the floor. Maybe she should just leave. That would be the easiest thing to do.

She needed a drink.

No, I don’t. I want a sober life. I deserve a sober life. God, if You are listening, lend me Your strength. Help me do the right thing for once.

Drawing a deep breath, she launched into the speech she had worked on for the past week. There was a lot this man needed to understand. “I can tell by your expression that you get my drift. I used to live a very destructive lifestyle, but I’m in recovery now. I had been clean and sober for almost a year when I had a setback. That is no excuse. I made a choice to drink and to spend the night with you when I knew it was wrong.”

“What kind of setback?”

His concern wasn’t something that she’d expected. “You mean, what caused me to fall off the wagon? It doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“It must have.”

“Okay, maybe it did, but I’ve been sober since I left you at that motel. That’s what’s important. I’m getting the help I need and I’m getting my life back on track.”

There was a joke if she’d ever uttered one. Her life was closer to being derailed than on track, but she didn’t want this man to think she couldn’t handle herself. She would handle this and she would do it the right way, with God’s help and the help of others like herself in AA. Still, she found it hard to meet his frank gaze.

“That’s good,” he said at last. “I hope it wasn’t something that I said or did.”

She relaxed for the first time in days. “No. You and your buddies came along afterward. You were all so happy about something. You were all laughing.”

He had a nice laugh. She remembered that about him even if other parts of that evening were fuzzy.

He pulled his hat out from beneath his arm. She watched him fold and unfold the red ball cap that matched the T-shirt he wore under his army jacket. She had no clue what he was thinking.

“Our unit had just returned from riding in the inaugural parade in Washington, D.C., and our sergeant had just gotten engaged. She’d be mad if she knew we went out drinking to celebrate. I don’t mean to sound like a prude, but I don’t normally drink.”

“I could tell that, too.”

It had been his cheerful smile and his happy laughter that had drawn Annie to him that night. She had craved being a part of that happiness as much as she had craved the liquor.

She cleared her mind of the memory. “Look, I need to make it plain that I don’t want anything from you. I want you to know that. I don’t want anything from you. Do you get that?”

He stopped scrunching his hat and looked at her. “You don’t want anything from me. I get that, but I’m sort of hazy on all the rest. Amy, why are you here? How did you find me?”

“My name is Annie.”

“Annie. I’m sorry.”

She thought she was done feeling like this. Cheap and disposable. Crossing her arms again, she looked down at the floor. “Don’t be. The music was loud. We were…”

Why does this have to be so hard? I’m trying to do the right thing, Lord. Please help me.

Shane looked down and began folding his hat again. “I never was good with names. I forget my own sometimes.”

Annie saw his discomfort and took pity on him. The man was six feet tall and as good-looking as the day was long—if a woman liked the blue-eyed cowboy type with a Texas drawl that made every word in the English language sound as soft as a cotton ball. And he was embarrassed because he didn’t remember her name.

“It’s okay. It’s not like we had any intention of becoming best friends.”

Looking up, a slight grin pulled at the corner of his mouth. “My list of friends is pretty short. I’d be honored to add you.”

Oh, yes, he was as sweet and kind as she remembered—and she was about to drop a bomb on his life.

“As for finding you,” she continued, “that wasn’t hard. It’s a big Army base, but how many stables are there here?”

“One.”

“Right. I called and spoke to your captain yesterday and he told me when you would be here today.”

Annie glanced at her watch. She couldn’t stay much longer. It was time to get it over with.

This is my step number nine: I need to make amends for the harm I caused. I need to admit the truth.

Was she doing the right thing? She wasn’t sure she should burden this man with her news. Telling him wouldn’t change anything, but Marge believed that he had a right to know, and Annie believed in Marge’s wisdom. She had seen it in action time and time again.

Annie raised her head. She had come a long way in the last year even if she had slipped up one night. She could be proud of what she had accomplished since she’d turned her life over to God. Something good would come of this because it had to be part of His plan.

“Corporal Ross—”

“Call me Shane.”

“Okay, Shane, I’ll get to the point. I’m here because I’m pregnant.”

Chapter Two

Shane blinked once, not certain he had heard Annie correctly. He opened his mouth but closed it quickly without posing the question that dangled on the tip of his tongue.

“Aren’t you going to ask me if I’m sure it’s yours?” she demanded.

The mixture of defiance and pain in her voice made him glad he hadn’t spoken that thought aloud.

“I don’t think you would have gone to the trouble of finding me if you weren’t sure.”

Her attitude softened slightly but not completely. “That’s right.”

She shot to her feet, clutching the strap of her scuffed black vinyl purse. “Okay, then, I guess we’re done.”

He stood in surprise. “Whoa! You can’t just lay this on me and then scoot out the door.”

“Why not? I told you I didn’t want anything from you.”

“You’ve just told me I’m going to be a father. I need more than a minute to process that information.”

“Sorry, but one minute is all you get. Look, neither one of us wanted this. We were both looking for a good time, not for a family. My counselor convinced me that you deserve to know. Now you know. From here on out it is my problem and I’ll handle it as I see fit.”

“I’m not sure I agree with that. What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to leave here and get to my job before I’m late. Have a nice life.”

She stepped around him and headed for the doorway. Was she kidding? She had hit him with this brick and now she was going to split? As she started to pull open the door, he reached over her head and pushed it shut with a bang. “Wait just a minute!”

The look she sent him was twice as sharp as the nails he had put in Jasper’s shoe. “Take your hand off this door.”

“I will as soon as we settle a few things.”

She crossed her arms and glared at him. “Such as?”

“Do you plan to keep the baby?”

“None of your business.”

“I hope you aren’t considering an abortion.”

“That is also none of your business.”

“If it wasn’t any of my business, you wouldn’t be here. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do or what I’m supposed to say, but this isn’t just your problem.”

She drew a deep breath. “I have to decide what is best for me. You don’t get a say in that.”

It was plain she didn’t want his help or his interference. If she didn’t want him involved, wasn’t that her right? Past experience had certainly proven he wasn’t father material. Why should this woman think differently? She barely knew him and yet she had already made that decision. He pulled his hand away from the door frame. “Okay, you need to do what is best for you. I guess I can understand that.”

“Good.”

Shane stuffed his hands in his pockets and stepped away from her. “I’m sorry this happened. If there is anything you need…anything…let me know.”

“I won’t need anything, and you don’t need to worry that I’ll show up again looking for support for this kid. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry you had to find out like this. You seem like a nice guy.”

He quickly crossed the room to the desk. Picking up a pen and business card, he scribbled his cell number. Returning to her side, he handed it to her. “This is my number. Could you at least let me know what you plan to do? I really want to know.”

She hesitated, but took it from him. “I’ll think about it.”

Annie pulled open the door and walked out of the office with her heart pounding like a drum in her chest. Her hands felt ice-cold and her legs were barely able to hold her up. She prayed she could make it to her car without falling down. She was bad at confrontations.

Corporal Shane Ross had no idea how much it had cost her to maintain her mask of indifference. At least the dreaded meeting was over and she could stop worrying about it. Now it was time to look ahead and make a plan.

She managed to reach her car. A soldier stood on the other side of her beat-up peacock-blue hatchback, chatting through the rolled-down window with her roommate in the passenger seat. Crystal was laughing at something the man said. Annie glanced back. Shane stood just outside the building, watching her. His face wore a puzzled frown. Who could blame him?

The sudden clop-clop of hooves startled her as a soldier walked past, leading two brown horses with black manes and tails. She had heard a lot about Shane’s unit from him during their one evening together. At first she had thought he had been teasing about being in the cavalry, but it had soon become apparent that he and his friends really did ride horses in a modern army.

Shane had spoken with quiet pride about his participation in the inaugural parade in Washington, D.C. She could still see his shy smile and the sparkle in his blue eyes when he spoke about it. He hadn’t been the best-looking guy in the bar that night, but there had been something about him. In him she thought she had seen someone like herself. Someone without anyone.

Yeah, and look where that got me.

Opening the car door, she climbed in and slammed it shut. If only she could shut out her memories as easily.

Crystal leaned toward her. “How did it go?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Did you see those horses?”

“I saw them.” Annie tried twice to get the key in the ignition before it finally slid into place. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Please, please let it start.

“Private Avery was just telling me that we can have a tour of the stable and even pet some of the horses.”

“We don’t have time. We’re going to be late as it is.”

“Come back someday when you can stay longer,” Avery suggested. “I’d be happy to give you a private tour.”

“I’d like that,” Crystal gushed.

The car’s temperamental engine turned over. Annie breathed a silent prayer of thanks, then backed out of the parking space.

“’Bye,” Crystal called, waving as they drove off.

“Roll up the window,” Annie snapped. “It’s freezing in here and you know my heater doesn’t work.”

Crystal did as she was told. “You didn’t have to be rude to Avery. He only wanted to let me see his horses.”

“It was just another pickup line.”

“It was not. Sometimes I think you don’t like men.”

“I don’t dislike them. It’s that I don’t trust them—and neither should you.” If Crystal couldn’t see that, Annie wasn’t going to waste her breath trying to convince her.

Shane turned away from the sight of Annie’s car disappearing down the street. He knew he’d never hear from her again. She had already decided he had no business being a father.

Avery came over to stand beside him. “What did the lady want?”

“I thought I told you to grease the wagon wheels.”

“Lee had already taken care of it. Obviously your friend didn’t bring you good news.”

“She told me I’m going to be a daddy and then she told me to get lost.”

“What?”

“Do I have a sign over my head that says Rotten Parent Material? Do I have Loser written on my forehead?” Shane began walking toward the farrier shed so quickly that Avery had to run to keep up.

“I don’t think you really want me to answer that.”

“You’re right, I don’t. Now, go away.”

It seemed that Avery couldn’t take a hint. He followed Shane inside the building and asked, “What are you going to do about your pregnant friend?”

Tossing his jacket aside, Shane slipped the strap of his leather apron over his head and tied it at his waist. “Annie Delmar wants nothing to do with me. In light of that fact, I’m going to respect her wishes.”

Moving back to Jasper’s side, Shane bent over and picked up the horse’s hind leg. “This shoe needs to be replaced, too. Hand me the clinch cutter and the pull-offs.”

Avery walked to the workbench at the back of the room and returned with the requested tools. Handing them to Shane, he said, “You can’t drop your responsibilities like a hot rock.”

“It’s not my call.”

“I beg to differ. It certainly is.”

“Not according to Annie.”

“You have the same rights that she does.”

Shane tilted his head to see his friend better. “What do you mean?”

“The law is plain on this. A father has the same rights that a mother does. Well, almost the same. You do have to prove that the child is yours.”

Jasper tried to pull his foot away and Shane let him put it down. Ordinarily the big gelding didn’t mind having his hooves worked on, but he seemed to sense Shane’s emotional turmoil. Patting the horse’s side to reassure him, Shane drew a calming breath.

He knew what it was like to be the child waiting for a father that never showed up. “The law doesn’t matter. I’m not going to fight Annie so I can force her to let me see my kid every other weekend—or less. That’s not what a family is.”

Avery said, “This doesn’t sound like you. You’ve always been Mr. Responsible.”

“I guess you don’t know me as well as you think.” Shane picked up Jasper’s hoof again and began straightening the tips of the last few nails holding the worn shoe in place.

Maybe never knowing this child would be better than loving him and then having to watch some other man step in and take him away. Only…this was his child. How could he pretend it didn’t matter? It might matter, but what choice did he have?

“When I start a family, I’ll be married and I’ll have a job that lets me come home every night. My kids are going to know who their daddy is.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Avery said, “Your plan is good except for one small detail. You’ve already started your family.”

Struggling to keep his frustration and disappointment from showing, Shane said, “Look, I’m not even sure she’s keeping the baby.”

“If she plans to give it up for adoption, she’ll need your consent or it won’t be legal now that she’s admitted it’s your kid.”

“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” Picking up the long-handled tool that looked like an oversize pair of curved pliers, Shane positioned the tips under the heel of the horseshoe and began carefully rocking it back and forth to pry out the nails without damaging Jasper’s hoof.

“I think you’re making a mistake, but it’s your life.”

“Thanks for noticing. Be sure and shut the door on your way out.”

He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. If he didn’t know how he felt about the situation, he sure couldn’t explain it to someone else. He needed time alone to think about what he should do, if anything. When Avery didn’t move and didn’t reply, Shane tugged the horseshoe loose, let go of the horse’s foot and straightened to face him.

“Even if I want to take some level of responsibility for this baby, Annie made it very plain that she doesn’t want that. I don’t even know where she lives or how to contact her to discuss it.”

“I don’t know where she lives, but I can tell you that she works at the Windward Hotel out on the interstate.”

Shane scowled. “How do you know that?”

“Her roommate, Miss Crystal Mally, works there with her. If I’d had a few more minutes, I would have had a phone number and a home address to go with that information. Crystal is a talkative girl, even if she isn’t exactly my type.”

“I didn’t know you had a type.”

“I don’t, really, but I do shy away from junkies.”

“Annie said she is in recovery. She mentioned having a counselor.”

“Annie may be clean, but I don’t think Crystal is there yet. Believe me, I know the signs. I hung out with a fast crowd before the Army got a hold of me.”

“Knowing where Annie works doesn’t change anything.” Shane walked over to the forge and thrust a metal bar into the coals.

“Maybe not, but at least you know how to find her when you’ve had a chance to think things over.”

He didn’t want to think things over. He wanted to rewind the morning and erase the part where a pretty woman with sad eyes had turned his life upside down.

Two days later, Shane rounded the corner of the snack-food aisle at the local Gas and Go and spied Annie paying for her purchase of a large soda. Confronted with the woman he hadn’t been able to get off his mind, he simply stared.

She wore a pair of faded jeans with butterflies embroidered in pink-and-white thread at her ankles. An equally faded jean jacket with threadbare cuffs covered a dark pink blouse. Her long braid hung down to the center of her back and swayed softly when she moved. Her silhouette showed only the slightest fullness at her midriff. A casual observer wouldn’t know she was pregnant, but he knew. She was carrying his child.

What he should do about it—if anything—had kept him awake most of the last couple nights.

She was searching in the depths of her purse for money to pay for her drink and she hadn’t seen him. Should he stay out of sight until she was gone or walk up to the counter as though it didn’t matter? It wasn’t in him to take the coward’s way out. He closed the distance between them in a few steps.

“I’ll pay for the lady’s drink,” he said to the teenage boy manning the cash register.

Annie’s eyes flew open wide as she stared at him in shock. Her surprised look vanished as a frown deepened the furrow between her brows. To Shane she looked tired, as well as mad.

Before she could speak, he said, “I didn’t think cola was good for pregnant women.”

“It’s lemon-lime—not that it’s any of your business what I drink. What are you doing here?” she demanded.

He felt a tug of admiration for the way she stood up to him. “Picking up a quart of oil for my car and getting a burrito. Not that it’s any of your business. How much?” He directed his question to the clerk.

The boy rattled off the price and Shane pulled a ten from his wallet. Annie seemed to be having trouble finding a comeback. After a full five seconds of silence, she said, “I can pay for my own drink.”

“Too late.” Shane took his change, dropped the coins in the front pocket of his jeans and tucked the bills into his wallet.

Annie pulled herself up to her full height, which wasn’t much over five feet. “I thought I made it plain that I didn’t intend to see you anymore.”

“You did, but Junction City isn’t a big town. We may run into each other again.” He nodded his thanks to the clerk and picked up the white plastic sack with his purchases.

“I was serious when I said I didn’t want or need anything from you,” she insisted.

“I know you were.” He walked to the door and pushed it open. The bell overhead jangled and the sounds of the street traffic grew louder. “The trouble is, Annie, you forgot to ask me what I want to do about our little problem. I do have a say in this, no matter what you think.”

“What is it you want to do?”

“I’m not sure yet, but I’ll let you know when I reach a decision.” He walked out the door and let it swing shut behind him. He glanced back as he stepped into his car. Annie watched him from inside the doorway. She was biting her lower lip.

Shane felt the stirrings of sympathy for her. He didn’t want to add to the worries she carried. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, but he knew he couldn’t let Annie Delmar just walk out of his life.

Early Monday morning Annie and Crystal sped into the Windward’s parking lot. Pulling around to the area reserved for staff, they both bolted out of the car and rushed in the side door of the building. For once it wasn’t Crystal and Annie’s poor excuse for a car that had made them late. This time it had been Annie’s fault. The sudden onset of morning sickness had stopped her cold just as they were leaving the house.

Inside the building, the women dashed to the locker room, where they quickly changed into gray pin-striped smocks and gray pants. Annie tossed her own clothes and purse into her locker and shut the door. Running a hand over her hair to tame the flyaways, she took a deep breath and followed Crystal into the windowless, drab room that served as a cafeteria and meeting room for the hotel staff. Four other housekeepers sat at one of the tables. Their supervisor was standing at the front of the room.

Mr. Decker looked at the clock on the wall. The hands pointed to two minutes after eight. “I’m glad you ladies could join us.” His sour tone made Annie wince.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Decker,” she said. “It won’t happen again.”

She needed to make sure of that because she really needed this job. She would have a baby to take care of soon.

The thought hit her out of the blue: she was keeping this baby.

Sometime between tossing and turning half the night trying to make a decision and now, the answer had been found. This was her baby. She would love it and raise it and give thanks for the blessing every day for the rest of her life.

“All right, let’s get started.” Mr. Decker was short and as thin as a toothpick. His unnaturally black hair was combed carefully over his bald crown, but his gray pin-striped suit was meticulously pressed with a carefully folded white handkerchief peeking out of his breast pocket. He picked up a clipboard from the table and scanned it quickly.

“We have thirty-two guests checking out this morning. Crystal and Annie, you will take the ground floor of the west wing.”

Annie relaxed as he finished giving the other maids their assignments in English or in fluent Spanish for the women who needed it. The west wing was longer and therefore had more rooms, but she knew Crystal would help her if she fell behind. After only a month on the job, Annie still wasn’t as speedy as Crystal. Crystal had been a maid at this hotel for over a year.

After morning assignments were finished, Annie loaded her cart with fresh towels and linens and replenished her bottle of glass cleaner. At the first room on the west wing, she knocked briskly. There was no answer. She swiped her key card and pushed open the door as she announced herself. Stepping over the threshold, she stared in dismay at the mess awaiting her.

Trash overflowed from the wastebasket and dirty clothes were scattered around the room. The bedding was piled on the floor below the foot of the mattress. A large pizza box lay open on the table. It was empty, but one upside-down slice had made it to the floor, where the cheese and tomato sauce were still soaking into the carpet.

This wasn’t going to be a quick turndown and wipe. She checked the dresser top. Of course the occupants hadn’t bothered to leave a tip for the poor soul who had to clean up after them. With a sigh, she began picking up articles of clothing. Her day may have started out badly, but she wasn’t going to let it get her down. She was having a baby!

It took her almost thirty minutes to finish the room, but when she’d pulled up the clean spread and tucked it beneath the freshly fluffed pillows, she straightened and looked around with pride. She wasn’t the fastest maid, but she always did a good job. There was something satisfying about creating order out of disorder. If only it were as easy to straighten out her life.

By four o’clock she was exhausted and she had earned only a single five-dollar tip. It would be enough to put a few gallons of gas into her car, but she wouldn’t be able to get her flat spare tire fixed or put any money aside. The list of things the baby would need almost made her cringe.

In the locker room she sat on the bench and rubbed her aching feet. Closing her eyes, she whispered softly, “The Lord will provide.”

She was learning that faith was a tricky thing. Just when she thought she had a firm grasp on it, something happened that made her doubts come back. Things like a day with lousy tips.

Being a Christian isn’t about material stuff.

Annie tried hard to keep that in mind. It was about eternal life and about His love. She couldn’t know His plan for her, but was it wrong to hope that it might include enough money to get a new pair of shoes?

She glanced at the clock as she waited for Crystal to join her. When her roommate rushed in ten minutes later, her face was flushed and she looked as nervous as a cat in a dog pound. Opening her locker, she grabbed her purse, then tossed her coat and her clothes over her arm. Glancing over her shoulder, Crystal said, “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

“Aren’t you going to change? You know Mr. Decker doesn’t like us taking our uniforms home.”

“He’s gone for the day. He’ll never know. What are you waiting for?” Crystal pulled open the door to the hallway, checked both ways, then hurried to the exit.

Annie followed her, puzzled by her odd behavior. “Crystal, what’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing, I want to get home, that’s all. I’m meeting Willie in half an hour.”

“Who is Willie?”

“I met him last night at Kelly’s Diner and I think he’s the one. He’s so cool. I told him I could give him a lift home after his shift is over in the evenings. That is—” she paused and looked back “—if I can borrow your car? You don’t mind, do you?”

“Oh, Crystal.” Annie didn’t try to hide her disappointment.

“What? This guy could be the one. You don’t know him.”

“And neither do you.”

“Don’t be that way. He makes me feel special.” Crystal pushed open the outside door but stopped dead in her tracks with a sharp gasp. Just as quickly she relaxed and said, “Oh, it’s you.”

When Annie came out the door, she saw Shane standing beside her car. Her breath caught in her throat. Dressed in jeans and a dark blue sweater that accented the color of his eyes, he looked far too handsome and exactly like the man she had fallen for that night three months ago.

Calling on all her willpower, she hardened her heart against a sudden and frightening desire to step into his embrace and rest her head on his shoulder.

He nodded at Crystal but walked past her to stand in front of Annie. “We need to talk.”

Chapter Three

Shane was prepared for a verbal battle, but to his surprise, Annie didn’t tell him to take a hike. She edged away from him, toward her car. He had the distinct impression that she was afraid of him. That was the last thing he wanted.

She licked her lips quickly, then said, “We don’t have anything to discuss. How did you find me?”

He smiled, trying to put her at ease. “Let me buy you a cup of coffee and I’ll tell you.”

“I don’t drink coffee.”

“Then make it a cup of tea or a lemon-lime soda—anything you want. Annie, I’m not going to go away until we’ve had a rational discussion about our baby.”

He had come here intending to do just that, but now he found himself wanting something different. His motives had been hidden even from himself until he’d seen her face today. She looked tired, sad, vulnerable. That vulnerability was what he remembered most about her. It was why he had looked for her after their night together. It was why he couldn’t get her out of his mind.

Now that he had found her again, he wanted to spend time with her. He wanted to get to know her better. He needed to find out if their one bittersweet meeting might have been the beginning of something special.

Crystal shifted from one foot to the other beside the car. “I need to get going. I told Willie I’d meet him after work.”

Annie took another step toward the car. “I need to get home.”

She was making it obvious that she had no desire, hidden or otherwise, to spend time with him. Shane took a step back and held up his hands. “All right, but I’ll be here tomorrow…and the day after that and the day after that. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to talk to me.”

He watched her indecision play across her face. She chewed the corner of her bottom lip for a few seconds, then she turned to her friend and held out the car keys. “You go, Crystal. I’ll be home later. Tell Marge that I went to get a cup of cocoa with Corporal Ross.”

Crystal took the keys. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

Relieved by her change of heart, he said, “I’ll see that she gets home.”

Annie’s smile looked strained, but she nodded. “I’m sure. You go on.”

Shane worked to keep his elation in check. He didn’t know where any of this was going, but at least he was doing something. She was willing to talk to him and he wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.

As Crystal drove away, he faced Annie and asked, “Where would you like to go?”

“The hotel has a restaurant. We can go there.”

“Fine by me. Lead the way.”

It was too early in the evening for the Italian-themed bistro to be busy yet, but the aromas coming from the kitchen were tempting enough to make Shane hope he could convince Annie to have dinner with him. Once they were seated in a corner booth out of earshot of the other customers, he leaned back against the green plaid fabric and smiled to put her at ease. “Crystal told my friend where you and she work.”

Annie frowned at him. He shrugged. “You asked how I found you.”

“Oh.” She rearranged the salt and pepper shakers and moved the green ceramic container of sugar and sweetener packets to the center of the table to form a straight line. She seemed to realize what she was doing and quickly clasped her hands together. The clink of tableware and muted voices from the other diners did little to fill the void of silence.

“So where do we start?” he asked as he studied her face. She was pretty in an exotic way with her long, dark hair and deep brown eyes. Dressed in a simple white blouse with short sleeves and a pair of black slacks, she seemed to want to blend in rather than stand out from the crowd. Her lips were full, and he remembered the way they had softened when he’d kissed her.

Was the sweetness he had tasted that night really there or had it been part of a dream? They were going to have a child together, but he realized he knew almost nothing about this woman. He wanted to know more. A lot more.

She met his gaze. “You tell me where to start. You’re the one who insisted on this meeting. I still don’t understand why. I thought I was letting you off easy.”

“Easy? You call this easy? Every day of my life I’m going to wonder if I had a son or a daughter. You intend to go your merry way and I’ll never know where he is. I’ll never know if some other man is reading him the stories he likes or playing catch with him or taking him fishing.”

Pressing his lips into a tight line, Shane looked down and struggled to keep the old pain in check. The waitress arrived to take their orders, and it gave him a moment to compose himself.

When she left, Annie said softly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make light of the situation. There’s something more going on here, isn’t there?”

He was surprised by her perception. Shaking his head, he said, “It’s a long story. I don’t want to bore you with my ancient history.”

“You wanted to talk. I’m trying to listen.”

Touched by her compassion, Shane considered how much he should tell her. If he had any hope of convincing her to let him share in the decisions she had to make, he would need to gain a level of her trust. Wasn’t that worth exposing a part of his past, even if it was a painful part?

Slowly he began telling his tale. “I was engaged about a year ago. Her name was Carla. She had a little boy named Jimmy. He was the cutest, smartest little kid you have ever met. At four he knew the entire alphabet.”

He paused, remembering those happy times, remembering how proud he had been of Jimmy.

“He was your son?”

“No, but that didn’t matter. It didn’t matter to me, anyway. It was easy to love Jimmy and to think of him as my own. I believed that I was in love with Carla, but it was Jimmy who got me to thinking about making us one big happy family. For Carla it was a different story.”

“How so?”

“Jimmy’s father had split right after Jimmy was born. He never kept in touch, never paid support—you know the type.”

The deep bitterness in his voice momentarily took her aback. “I’ve met a few guys like that in my time.”

“One day he showed up again. Carla decided life would be better for Jimmy with his ‘real’ father. She broke it off with me, went back to him and they moved away.”

“That must have been rough.”

“It was. Jimmy didn’t know his ‘real’ father from a hole in the ground. I was the only father figure he’d had in his life. Carla was an adult. She made her choice and I hope she is happy, but Jimmy didn’t get a choice. I hope he’s happy, but I’ll never know for sure.”

“So what do you want from me?”

He stared down at his hands clasped together on the tabletop, then looked up and met her eyes. “I keep asking myself that same question. I guess I want to know that you have all you need to make a good life for my son or daughter.”

The waitress came back just then with their order. While Shane added a spoon of sugar to his coffee, Annie toyed with the marshmallows floating on her cup of hot chocolate. She hadn’t expected him to reveal so much about himself. She hadn’t expected to empathize with his feelings of loss or to find herself wanting to comfort him. What was it about him that broke through her defenses?

He had been a one-night stand. She had been with dozens of men in those years when addiction ruled her life and made getting another drink more important than food or shoes, more important than friends or family. The list of loved ones damaged by her sickness and her bitter refusals to get help was longer than her arm.

“Shane, I respect that you want to be involved, I do, I just don’t see how I can promise you anything.”

“I’m not looking for any promises. I just need to know that both of you are going to be okay.”

“I’m okay without your help.”

A lopsided grin made a dimple appear in his right cheek. Why did he have to be so cute and so genuine?

“I’m sure you are, but it seems that I’m not. Can’t you see some way to…I don’t know…to let me give you money to help with expenses?”

Annie’s sympathy for Shane splintered like a cheap glass on a tile floor. Shards of it pricked her hard-won self-respect.

“I don’t take money from men.”

“Oh, man, that’s not what I meant. Not at all. I’m sorry. I didn’t even think—”

“Fine.” She cut him off, wanting only to get home and curl up in her bed with her head under the covers. She started to get out of the booth, but he stopped her by laying a hand over hers on the table.

“Please don’t go. I’m a total jerk. Ask anyone who knows me. I put my foot in my mouth fifty times a day.”

The sincerity of his plea gave her pause, but it was the look in his eyes that made her stay. “That must make it hard to march in formation.”

He relaxed, a ghost of a smile curving his lips. “I’m lucky—in my outfit the horses do all the legwork.”

He drew his hand away slowly. Oddly she wished he hadn’t. For a tiny fraction of time she had felt comforted by his touch.

It was ridiculous. She didn’t need his help, his money or his comfort.

“Can you accept that I’m a well-meaning, if inept, person?” he asked.

“I guess I can accept that.”

“Good. I honestly do want to help. Tell me how.”

It would be so easy to give in to his pleading and let him shoulder the responsibility of providing the things she and the baby would need. Things like their own place to live, a crib, even clothes for the baby. But to do that would be like going backward in her recovery.

Once, she had used alcohol as her crutch to make life bearable. She wouldn’t substitute that addiction for a dependence on this man, even if it seemed harmless on the surface. Her track record with relationships didn’t include any that had been harmless.

“Thanks for the offer, but I think the best thing for both of us is to go our separate ways.”

“I have rights as a parent.” His tone carried a new determination.

So he wasn’t harmless after all. “What are you saying?”

“Under the law, I have the same right to this baby that you do.”

“Is that a threat? If you think you can take my baby away, you had better think again. I’m not afraid of you.”

He held up both hands and shook his head. “It’s not a threat. I’m not saying I would make the better parent.” Leaning forward, he clasped his hands together. “I have no intention of trying to take this baby away from you. I’m only saying that I have an equal responsibility to take care of him or her.”

She wasn’t sure she believed him. Trusting men was as foreign to her as owning diamond earrings.

He sat back and wrapped his hands around his mug of coffee. “You should drink your cocoa before it gets cold.”

Annie lifted the cup to her lips and took a sip of the rich, sweet chocolate. It helped steady her nerves and gave her a chance to think about what she needed to do next. Shane was making it evident that he wasn’t about to go away.

Suspecting he was right about the law, she had no intention of making it a legal matter. Even with the testimony of Marge as her sponsor, Annie doubted that a judge would overlook her past in a custody battle. For the moment, Corporal Shane Ross had the upper hand.

Would he turn out to be a dog in the manger? Once he got what he wanted, would he lose interest? His story about the little boy he had lost to a deadbeat dad didn’t mean that he wouldn’t follow the same pattern. Perhaps instead of fighting him, she should wait and let time do the work for her. Not many of the men she’d known came through on their promises. Why should she think Shane would be any different?

She couldn’t quite silence the small voice in the back of her mind that told her this man was different.

“Have you thought about adoption?” he asked after a few minutes.

“I’ve considered it, but I want to keep my baby.” She’d admitted the thought aloud for the first time and it felt right.

“That’s good to know. Thank you for telling me.”

Had she made a mistake? Confiding in him was easier than she’d expected. She quickly resolved not to give him any more information. “I should be going.”

“But you haven’t finished your drink.”

“I want to leave now.”

He looked ready to argue but finally nodded and said, “Sure.”

He motioned to the waitress and paid the check. Annie picked up her purse and headed for the door.

Outside, he walked beside her to the staff parking spaces, stopping beside a low-slung red Mustang with a wide black stripe down the hood. The car was obviously not new, but it was in pristine condition. He unlocked and opened the door for her. As she got in, she took note of the difference between his vehicle and hers. His didn’t have rips in the fabric of the front seat. His radio had buttons, while hers didn’t even have the knobs it had come with. She was pretty sure his heater worked no matter how cold it got. Judging by this, he could afford to pay child support.

Temptation came in many forms. Only knowing that she would have to give up more than she would gain kept her from accepting his previous offer. She and her baby wouldn’t have a lavish life, but they would have enough.

“Nice wheels,” she said when he slid into the driver’s seat.

“Thanks. This is a 1973 Mustang Mach One. This puppy is my pride and joy.”

“You can afford a classic car like this on a corporal’s salary?”

He laughed. “She wasn’t much to look at when I first found her, but it still took two summers of roofing in the hot Texas sun to pay for her back when I was a teenager. Restoring her has been a kind of hobby of mine ever since. Besides, I live on base so I don’t have many expenses. This car is my one luxury. Annie, is the fact that I’m in the Army part of the reason you don’t want me involved with our baby?”

It was as good a reason as any. “To my mind, guns and babies don’t to go together.”

“There’s a lot more to the Army than guns.”

“I’m sure that’s true, but how many years have you been in?”

“Six.”

“And how many different places have you been stationed in in that time?”

“Including basic training? Four.”

“That’s not exactly a blueprint for maintaining close family ties.”

“No, but it’s not impossible if you’re willing to work at it.” She heard the resignation creeping into his voice, even if he wouldn’t admit as much.

She drove home her point. “Tell me how we could make it work. Should we ship the kid back and forth between us every six months? Aren’t you going to Germany soon?”

“We live in the same place now.”

“But not for long. I might decide I want to move. Who knows where you’ll be stationed after Germany. It’s too complicated. I need to get on with my life and you need to get on with yours. I wish now that I hadn’t told you.”

“No, don’t wish that.”

A sadness to match his settled over her. “You probably wish you had never met me,” she said softly.

He stared at his hands clasped around the top of the steering wheel for a long moment, then looked over and met her gaze. “No, I don’t.”

He started the engine and shifted into Reverse. She gave him her home address, then leaned back into the plush seat. He didn’t speak during the ride and neither did she.

When he pulled up in front of her house, he shut off the engine and turned toward her. “I can’t help thinking that one of the reasons you don’t want me around the baby is because you don’t know me well.”

“I know you well enough.”

“If you’re referring to the night we met, I’ll be the first to admit that we started off all wrong.”

“So?”

He pressed his hand to his chest, his expression earnest and intense. “I’d like to change that. I’d like to get to know you and I’d like you to get to know me. Someday the kid is going to ask about me. I’d like you to be able to tell him something about what I do and what kind of person I am.”

“What are you suggesting? That we start dating?” She didn’t bother to hide her sarcasm.

“That’s an excellent idea. What are you doing Saturday afternoon?”

Chapter Four

“Annie, you seem awfully quiet tonight. Is something bothering you?” Marge diced another carrot and added it to the large kettle of vegetable soup simmering on the back burner of her stove.

At the long pine table nearby, Annie closed the book she wasn’t actually reading. Since she couldn’t come to a decision about what to do by herself, perhaps Marge could help. “When Shane Ross brought me home yesterday…he asked me out.”

“Like—on a date?” The astonished inquiry came from Marge’s thirteen-year-old daughter, Olivia, as she breezed into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge door. With her sleek chin-length dark hair and dark eyes, she and Annie could have passed for sisters.

Marge turned and scowled at her only child. “Get out of the fridge. Supper will be ready in half an hour. And what is so surprising about Annie being asked out on a date?”

Olivia rolled her eyes and took a container of flavored yogurt before she shut the door. “It’s just that she never goes out.”

While it was true, it was embarrassing to have a teenager point out her total lack of a social life.

Annie said, “He didn’t exactly ask me for a date. He asked me to come and watch his unit perform on base Saturday afternoon. It’s some kind of community appreciation day.”

“Oh, oh, is he the one with the horses?” Olivia’s eyes widened with interest.

“Yes, he’s in the mounted color guard. How did you know that?”

“Crystal told me about him. Heather, one of my friends from school, saw them ride last year. She said they were awesome. She’s going with her family. I heard that there’s going to be a carnival and tons of stuff to see and do. I wish we could go. Could we, Mom? Please?”

Marge shook her head. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but I’m working at the clinic on Saturday.”

Olivia’s excited expression turned to disappointment. She plopped into a chair beside Annie. “You’re always working at that clinic.”

“Which is exactly why you have a roof over your head and food in the refrigerator, young lady.”

“It’s not much of a roof. It leaks like a faucet in the corner of my room when it rains.”

Annie nudged the pouting girl with her elbow. “Your mom does important work at the mental-health clinic. If she hadn’t been there for me, I wouldn’t be here today. She saved my life.”

“I know, but I’d really like to see the Army’s horses.”

Leaning forward, Annie winked at the girl. “Plus a few good-looking guys dressed in romantic cavalry uniforms sporting sabers and pistols.”

Olivia’s frown changed to a conspiratory grin shared between the two of them. “That, too.”

After seasoning the pot with salt and pepper, Marge put the lid on and lowered the heat. Wiping her hands on a paper towel, she turned to Annie. “What did you say when Shane invited you?”

“I said I’d think about it.”

“And have you?”

Far more than she cared to admit. With his deep-timbred voice and slow Texas drawl, his bright blue eyes and soft, enchanting smile, Shane was almost all she had thought about these past few days. Her plan to tell him about her pregnancy and then dismiss him from her life wasn’t exactly working out. “I don’t think I should go.”

“Why not?”

Annie shrugged. “I don’t know.”

She didn’t really have a reason, at least not one she wanted to talk about. She didn’t want to go because she suspected that the more she saw of Corporal Ross the harder it would be to ignore his request to be included in her baby’s life—their baby’s life.

“Why don’t you go and take Olivia with you? That way you won’t have to go by yourself. Plus, Olivia won’t have to spend the next two days giving me those deep sighs and pitiful looks that mean I’m the world’s worst mother because I’m not letting her do something she wants.”

Olivia’s face brightened. “Yeah, that would be great! And I don’t think you’re the world’s worst mom.”

“That’s not what you said when I wouldn’t let you get your belly button pierced.”

“Mom, that was weeks ago—and so not fair. Heather got hers pierced.”

“Just because Heather does something doesn’t mean you have to do it, too.”

“She’s not the only one in my class that has a belly-button ring.”

“That still doesn’t make it right. Besides, while you’re—”

“I know, I know. While I’m living in this house I have to live by your rules.”

“That’s right, and I’m tough on you because…why?”

“Because you love me and you want me to grow up to be a responsible adult.”

“Right!”

Listening to their exchange, Annie wondered if she would be as good a mother as Marge was. In spite of having lost her husband in a car accident when Olivia was a toddler, Marge’s faith and courage never seemed to waiver. Making a home for herself and her child must have been hard enough, but somehow Marge found the strength to do more. She had reached out to other young women in need, opening her home to some of them and offering hope and compassion to everyone who came asking for help.

Olivia gave up arguing with her mother and turned to Annie. “Please, can I go with you to the base? I promise not to be a pain. We’ll have fun and you can meet some of my friends.”

Annie didn’t have the heart to say no in the face of Olivia’s wide, pleading eyes and excited demeaner. Or maybe she really did want to see Shane again. “Sure, I’ll take you.”

“Sweet!” Olivia jumped up and threw her arms around Annie’s neck. “Thanks. You won’t regret it. I’m going to call Heather. We have to decide where to meet.”

Scooping up her yogurt and pausing only long enough to pull a spoon out of one of the drawers, Olivia hurried toward the phone in the living room.

Marge drew out a chair and sat down beside Annie. “Maybe I shouldn’t have suggested that you take her. Sometimes I let my own guilt about being a poor mother cloud my judgment where Olivia is concerned.”

“You aren’t a bad mother.”

“Perhaps not, but I’m one that doesn’t get to spend as much time with my child as I would like. If you decide you don’t want to go, I’ll make other arrangements for Olivia.”

“I won’t regret having Olivia’s company, but I might regret going at all.”

“Why is that?”

“I’m so confused about what I should be doing. When I found out I was pregnant, everything I hoped I could do with my life came to a grinding halt. I agreed to tell Shane about the baby because I honestly thought he wouldn’t care. But he does care. At least I think he does. He says he does.”

“Do you like Shane?”

Annie took a long time to form her answer. “Maybe, but what’s the point?”

Marge tilted her head slightly. “What’s the point of exploring your feelings for the father of your child? I think that’s pretty obvious. The two of you have a lot to work out.”

“Marge, I’ve never had a relationship with any man that wasn’t based on alcohol, including the night I met Shane. By the time I was a junior in high school I was already keeping a bottle stashed under my bed so I had something to help get me started in the mornings. I don’t remember half the dates I went on because I got smashed as often and as fast as I could. Once my parents kicked me out, I lived with one guy after another. Some of them, I barely remember their names, but if they were buying me booze…I thought I loved them.”

“That isn’t your life now.”

“No. I’ve been sober for eighty-eight days, and in that time I haven’t so much as looked at another guy. I have no idea how to judge Shane’s sincerity or how to act around a man who doesn’t have a drink in his hand.”

“You told me that Shane wants you to keep the baby and he wants to be involved in the child’s life. Do you have a reason to doubt that he’s sincere?”

“No, but I can’t see what he has to gain by it.”

Shaking her head sadly, Marge said, “Not every man commits to a purpose because he has something to gain. Some men commit because it is the right thing to do.”

“None of the ones I know.”

“Then perhaps you should get to know Shane better. Find out if he is the kind of man you want your child to know.”

Sighing, Annie picked up her book and opened it. “Maybe I’m making a bigger deal out of this than I need to. He only asked me to come watch his unit perform. It’s not like he asked me to marry him or something.”

Why that comment had popped out of her mouth, Annie had no idea. She shot a startled glance at Marge in time to see her hide a smile behind her hand. Sitting up, Annie said, “That didn’t mean that I’ve been thinking about him as husband material.”

A quick grin curved Marge’s lips, but she pressed them into a firm line. “No, of course it doesn’t mean that.”

“It doesn’t!” Annie shot to her feet. “I’ll be outside if you need me.”

She stomped out the door, determined not to give Corporal Shane Ross another thought. Her determination lasted only as long as it took her to reach the backyard and look up into the cloudless blue sky.

Shane’s eyes were bright blue. What color eyes would the baby have? Annie hoped they would be brown. Otherwise, she would be reminded every day that her child was his child, too.

Shane pulled his saddle cinch tight and checked the grandstands again. The colorful crowd was growing by the minute as the time for his detachment’s demonstration neared. Twice he had seen women with long dark braids climbing the steps of the bleachers, but when they’d turned around to take their seats, neither of them had been the woman he was looking for. His faint hope that Annie would come today faded a little more.

“Do you see her?” Avery asked as he finished saddling his mount, Dakota.

Shane resumed checking Jasper’s tack. “No, but I’m not surprised. I didn’t really think she would show.”

Adjusting his flat-topped trooper’s hat, Avery said, “If she doesn’t, there are plenty of other women out there waiting to be impressed. I’m ready to shock and awe those two blond beauties at this end of the bleachers.”

Shaking his head, Shane said, “If you hit even one balloon with your sword, we’ll all be shocked.”

“Very funny. You know I’m better at sabers than you are.”

“I don’t know any such thing. You’ll be breaking your neck trying to see if the pretty girls are watching, and I’ll be cutting down targets. I think I’ll hit four for every one that you get.”

“Dream on!”

“We shall see.”

Smoothing the coat of his dark blue wool 1854-style cavalry uniform, Shane stepped into the stirrup and swung into the saddle. “The crowd is a lot bigger than I was expecting. It’s good to see so much support.”

Avery spent another few seconds making sure his saddle and girth were secure, then he mounted Dakota. Prancing in eagerness, Dakota sidestepped into Jasper and then let out a loud whinny.

Sudden static filled the air as the loudspeakers on the reviewing stand came on. Avery tapped Shane on the shoulder and pointed to a woman with short auburn hair climbing the steps to the platform. “Hey, it’s Sergeant Mandel.”

Shane reached over to pat Dakota’s neck. “You recognized her, didn’t you, fella?”

“Lindsey’s not a sergeant anymore,” Shane reminded his friend. “She left the service and works in public affairs now.”

“She’ll always be Sergeant Mandel to me.”

“Yeah, I miss her, too.”

Until recently, Lindsey had been a member of the Commanding General’s Mounted Color Guard, and her brother had once owned Dakota. Lindsey’s skills and her dedication to the unit and the Army were something rare. Even after leaving the service, she had found a way to promote public awareness of the many and varied jobs the Army performed.

Lindsey, dressed in a dark blue dress with a red-and-white scarf draped around her neck, leaned close to the microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Fort Riley’s Community Appreciation Day. I hope you’ve been enjoying the festivities so far. I understand the obstacle tent where you get to wear night-vision goggles has been a big hit with the kids.”

A dozen isolated shouts of agreement went up from the stands. She smiled in response. “If you were impressed with our latest gadgets, I’m sure you’ll be even more impressed with the demonstration you’re about to see here.”

Music poured out of the loudspeakers around the field, and the muted but stirring strains of the Battle Hymn of the Republic filled the air.

“Long before we had tanks, planes and Black Hawk helicopters, the U.S. Army relied on another method of moving troops quickly into battle. I’m talking about the horse. While mechanization has made the use of the horse obsolete on the battlefield, we here at Fort Riley have not forgotten the contributions the horse soldier has made to our history. Once called the Cradle of the Cavalry, Fort Riley housed the Cavalry Training School until the cavalry was disbanded in 1943.”

Captain Watson rode up beside the eight troopers waiting with their horses at one end of the parade ground. “Corporal, form up the detachment.”

“Yes, sir.” Saluting smartly, Shane called out the order and the men and horses moved into a column of two. Another soldier on the ground handed Shane the unit banner. When the colors were unfurled, he gripped the staff and awaited his orders.

“In 1992,” Lindsey continued, “the Commanding General’s Mounted Color Guard was reestablished to honor that long tradition. These men train from the same cavalry manual used to train soldiers during the Civil War. This unit serves as ambassadors for the Army, as well as a living history exhibition. It is arduous work, but the level of horsemanship these soldiers attain is nothing short of remarkable. Please give a round of applause to both the men and the horses of our own Commanding General’s Mounted Color Guard.”

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