Rank

D.R. GRAHAM

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First published in Great Britain by HarperImpulse 2015

Copyright © D.R. Graham 2015

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Cover design by HarperColl‌insPublishers Ltd

D.R. Graham asserts the moral right

to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue record for this book is

available from the British Library

This novel is entirely a work of fiction.

The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are

the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to

actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is

entirely coincidental.

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Ebook Edition © March 2015 ISBN: 9780008140083

Version 2015-03-09

For my Papa and every other cowboy with heart and try.

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Acknowledgements

Also by D.R. Graham…

D.R. Graham

About HarperImpulse

About the Publisher

Chapter 1

Facial wounds bleed a lot. I was reminded of that the day my brother Cole had a bad wreck at a rodeo in Lethbridge, Alberta. In the finals on Sunday, Cole drew a rank bull that hadn’t been ridden in fourteen outs. It was a nasty looking black and white Brahman that rammed its skull into the rail I was standing on.

After Cole eased down into the chute, I took a deep breath, pulled the bull rope, and slapped his back three times for good luck — just the way our dad used to. Cole secured his hat and tucked his chin before he nodded. The gate opened and the bull exploded into the arena with the same force as the adrenaline that shot through me.

A country song blared over the loud speakers, and the crowd cheered as the bull cranked out a succession of belly rolls and shivers. The bull turned into Cole’s hand and side bucked before it whipped around and reared back. He spun twice more to the left, then jumped and kicked with a twist that should have knocked my brother off. When the eight-second buzzer went, Cole reached down with his free hand, jerked his riding hand out of his rope, dismounted, and landed on his feet. He didn’t even lose his hat.

Once I was sure he was all right, I hollered, “Yeah! Now, that’s how it’s done.”

The other guys working the chutes gave me high fives before I leaned over the railing to slap palms with a bullfighter named Mutt. A score of ninety flashed up on the board, Cole tipped his hat to the crowd and then fanned the bull as it ran by him.

Mutt chuckled. “There he goes, stirring the pot again.”

“Shit,” I mumbled and checked over my shoulder. The last thing we needed was Cole disrespecting the stock contractor. I jumped down from the chute and jogged over to where Cole was making his way down the front row signing a bunch of programs and one particularly nice cleavage. Saving him from himself was getting to be a full time job.

“Okay, tone it down,” I said as I pushed him under the grandstand where it reeked of stale beer and popcorn.

“Why? I’m just giving them their money’s worth.”

“Yeah, well, Ron Miller looks like he’s about to stroke out because you fanned one of his best bulls. Stop showboating.”

He shrugged his shoulders dismissively. “I get sponsors by working the crowd, not by kissing a stock contractor’s ass. I couldn’t care less about Ron Miller.”

“You should care because —”

We both stopped talking and watched the last rider leave the chute. He needed a ninety-two to beat Cole, which wasn’t likely, but it was possible.

After the eight-second buzzer went, Cole mumbled, “Damn. That was a good ride.” His cocky attitude faded and he chewed on the leather cuff of his glove as he stared at the scoreboard, waiting. Eventually, an eighty-seven flashed up on the screen. “Yeah, baby!” Cole shouted and thrust his arms victoriously into the air. “Looks like we’re eating steaks tonight.” He jumped on my back, hooting and hollering.

I pushed him off. Partly because he was acting like a fool, and partly because I was too tired to celebrate. “Just go get your buckle and the cheque so we can get the hell out of here.”

“Aw, come on, Billy. I want to party and the girls here are half-decent. Let’s stay a while.” He shoved my chest. “I bet that new barrel racer you’ve been staring at all weekend wouldn’t mind if you hung around tonight. What’s her name again?”

Although I knew exactly who he meant, I wanted to sleep in my own bed for the first time in two weeks, not hang around while he got rowdy. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.” I pulled my hat down at the front and spit tobacco juice on the dirt near his boot.

He laughed at my avoidance tactic. “Yes, you do. The blonde with the white horse and the tight ass.”

I removed my hat and ran my fingers through my hair as I scanned the crowd, looking for her. “I’m tired. I just want to go home.”

“You’re too young to be tired. And if you don’t rope that filly, I will.”

“Don’t,” I warned.

He smiled at my reaction. “I knew you liked her. Let’s stay.”

“No. My credit card is maxed out. Meet me at the truck. We’re going home.”

“Come on, Billy. We can stay for a while,” he begged as the rodeo queen approached us. Her hair was three feet wide, her make-up was three inches thick, and there were so many sequins on her outfit it was almost blinding.

She smiled in a flirty way and linked her arm around Cole’s elbow. “Come on, darling. It’s time for the presentation.”

He winked at me, confident that he had convinced me to stay. Then he walked away with her.

“I’ll leave without you,” I shouted.

He waved jokingly without looking back. The cloud of perfume the rodeo queen likely wore to kill the stench of bullshit lingered — even after they were already at the champion’s platform near the grandstand. Watching someone else take home the buckle and prize money was never something that sat well with me, not even when it was my own brother. When they announced Cole’s name, I wandered out past the back pens. My phone rang as I reached the lot where the participants all parked and camped. I wasn’t in the mood to talk, but she would keep calling if I didn’t answer.

“Hey, Ma.”

“Is your brother still in one piece?”

“Yeah. He won. How did your doctor’s appointment go?”

“Fine. Everything is about the same. How are you doing, hon?”

A combination of frustration and exhaustion shot out of my mouth when I exhaled. “I think it’s time for me to stop touring and get back to making a regular paycheque.”

“Cole won’t take his medications or eat properly if you’re not there with him. You know that.”

“He’s a big boy. I can’t spend the rest of my life following around after him picking up his messes.”

I knew she had hoped if I stayed on the tour for Cole’s sake I would eventually start riding again. It didn’t work. The more I hung around without competing, the more I hated it. I spit tobacco juice onto the grass.

“Are you chewing?”

“No, Ma’am.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I ain’t chewing.” I paced around on the grass looking out at the horizon. She didn’t say anything else, so I said, “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of him. We’ll see you tonight.”

She sighed. “Okay. Love you.”

“Love you, too.” I hung up and turned to drop the tailgate of my truck, because Cole knew I wouldn’t leave without him, and I knew he was going to take forever milking the win.

Shae-Lynn Roberts, the youngest daughter of the best chuckwagon racer in the country, leaned against the side of the truck wearing jeans and a white tank top. She’d already brushed out the curls she wore for competition and had her hair pulled back into a ponytail.

“Hey Billy. How’s your mom?”

“Good.” I sat down on the tailgate and reached for a bottle of beer out of the cooler that I kept in the back.

“Is she still having falls?”

I glanced at her, not really wanting to get into it, but I knew she was asking because she actually cared, so I said, “Yeah. The doctor wants her to start using a wheelchair.”

“A wheelchair. Really? I didn’t realize she’d gotten that bad.” Her eyebrows angled together in a genuinely sympathetic expression that made me uncomfortable.

I shot back some beer, then changed the subject to steer her away from the topic of my mom’s health. “You took first place again.”

“Yes, I did.” She paused for a second, aware that I had purposefully avoided the other conversation. After some contemplation she must have decided to let me get away with it. “Did you see my run?”

“Yup. It was good. It could have been better though.”

She propped her right hand on her hip and cocked her head to the side. “Really? What do you think I did wrong?”

“Harley dropped his shoulder at the first barrel.”

“Oh, and you’re an expert on barrel racing now?”

I chuckled. “You know how much rodeo I’ve watched in my life.” I flicked the beer cap into the cooler. “You don’t have to take my advice if you don’t want to. I don’t care.”

Her expression changed again and she raised her eyebrow as if she thought I was being rude. “Aren’t you going to offer me a drink?”

“You ain’t old enough to drink.”

She made a sweeping gesture with her arm to remind me where we were. “The drinking age in Alberta is eighteen.”

I tipped the bottle back and drank almost half. She stared at me, still waiting for me to offer. “What?” I asked.

“What do you mean what? I turned eighteen last month. You and Cole ate some of the cake my mom made. Remember?”

I remembered the cake, but I didn’t remember it was for her birthday. Even if I did know it was for her birthday, I would have sworn she was no more than sixteen. I didn’t care enough to argue with her, though, so I reached into the cooler and handed her a beer.

“Thanks.” She sat down beside me on the tailgate, eager to give it a go. I watched as she unsuccessfully tried to twist the cap off. She struggled with it for a while then, in frustration, handed it to me to do it for her.

“I thought barrel racers were supposed to be highly toned athletes.” I grinned to tease her as I popped the cap off and gave the bottle back to her.

She made a mocking expression to let me know she didn’t find my joke particularly funny. Then her gaze shifted to my mouth. She squished up her nose in disgust and asked, “How do you drink with tobacco in your mouth?”

“Practice,” I said, then tipped the bottle back to prove it.

About as impressed with my tobacco chewing as my mom was, she said, “Nice,” in a sarcastic tone. She stared at her beer bottle for a while as if she was building up the courage. After a quick breath she took a swig. It was obvious from the way her face twisted that she didn’t like the taste. She tried another sip and gagged as if she wanted to spit it out.

I laughed. “You want me to finish that?”

She gladly handed it to me. “It tastes like piss.”

“You have to drink enough to forget about how bad it tastes. Eventually, if you drink more, you start to forget about how bad everything else is too.”

She shuddered and cringed, still disgusted.

My attention shifted to Tawnie Lang, the barrel racer with the white horse and the tight ass. She was exiting the grandstand with all the other spectators. As she passed by, she removed the sky blue hat that matched the colour of her eyes and ran her fingers through her long blonde hair. It was about then that I decided it wouldn’t be so bad if we stayed one more night. I finished my beer and watched her walk towards her horse trailer.

“Oh my God. Stop drooling at the new girl,” Shae-Lynn mumbled.

I turned my head to spit tobacco juice on the grass. “I wasn’t drooling at nothing and she’s not new. I remember her from the junior circuit.”

“Oh.” Shae-Lynn glanced over her shoulder in a casual way to check Tawnie out. “Where’s she been since?”

I shrugged, wondering the same thing, then started on her beer. The cherry flavour of her lipgloss on the mouth of the bottle balanced out the horrible flavour of the tobacco that was getting washed down my throat.

Shae-Lynn faced me again and asked, “Why don’t you ask her out?”

“Who says I want to?”

“It’s obvious. You’ve been staring at her all weekend.”

I looked over at Tawnie, then back at Shae-Lynn. “I don’t date girls on the circuit.”

“Wouldn’t you make an exception for the right girl?”

I shrugged noncommittally. It wasn’t likely. I couldn’t imagine myself being interested in dating anyone, especially someone who didn’t live in the same city as I did. Shae-Lynn stopped asking questions and we sat quietly for a long time. The colours of the sky changed and deepened as the sun got lower. I watched the spectators file out of the grandstand. Shae-Lynn seemed to be staring at her fingernails, thinking.

She sighed. “You sure don’t talk all that much since what happened to your dad.”

That change in topic came out of nowhere, and it caught me off guard since everyone else on the circuit acted as if they would rather cut out their tongue than talk to Cole or me about our dad. “I’m talking to you right now, ain’t I?”

“Sort of. Not really.” She swung her feet back and forth. “Do you think it might help if you talked about what happened?”

“Help what?”

“You.”

“I don’t need help,” I said, but it came out less convincing than I meant it to.

“You haven’t ridden since it happened.”

Uncomfortable with the fact that she could obviously see right through me, I spit on the grass and opened another beer to ignore her statement.

She watched me for a while, then said, “The sooner you get back on a bull, the better.”

I exhaled and scratched the back of my neck. I’d been thinking about officially leaving rodeo, but hadn’t even told Cole yet. Since she was hell bent on talking about my issues, I decided to practice telling her to test how Cole might react. “I’m thinking about retiring.”

“What? Why? You’re ranked number one.” She nearly shrieked — confirmation that Cole was going to lose his shit when I told him.

“I don’t want to still be doing this when I’m fifty years old. I’d rather get out now and finish university while I’m still young.”

“You can do both. The season doesn’t interfere with classes.”

“I also have to work and take care of my mom.”

She nodded as if she understood that part. She also frowned because she knew as well as I did that I was grasping for excuses. Unfortunately, instead of letting it go, she pressed on, “That’s nice of you to take care of your mom, but you don’t need to stop riding. You shouldn’t quit because your dad’s wreck spooked you.”

Frustrated that she was forcing me to go to an emotional place I didn’t want to visit, I threw the empties in the cooler. “I’m not spooked. I just don’t want to waste my life touring around shit-hole towns with a bunch of hicks abusing my body and killing my liver just to end up dead in the ring one day.”

“What happened to your dad was a fluke accident. The best way to get over the fear is to get back on.”

“Listen, Shae-Lynn, I ain’t scared. And I ain’t interested in talking about it with you.”

Not impressed with my harsh tone, she hopped off the tailgate and glared at me. “You don’t have to be an asshole about it. And how many times do I have to ask you to call me Shae? You know I don’t like it when you add the Lynn.”

“It’s your name.”

“It makes me sound hick.”

I mimicked her sweeping arm gesture to present to her the grass parking lot in the middle of nowhere that was filled with campers and horse trailers. “I hate to break it to you, but this is about as hick as it gets.”

“I’m not hick. Call me Shae.” She took two strides, then turned and pointed at me as she walked backwards. “And, by the way, if you decide that you want Tawnie Lang to date you, you should probably know that chewing tobacco is repulsive and ain’t isn’t a word. Quitting the rodeo isn’t going to make you any less hick, Billy Ray Ryan.” She spun back around and stormed off towards her family’s motorhome.

Tyson Wiese, my brother’s best friend, stole a beer out of the cooler. He grinned at Shae-Lynn’s feistiness as he watched her go. He had a shiner from knocking the bull’s behind when he got thrown, so he squinted at me with one open eye. “I came over to get you. Cole just took a crazy bet.”

“What?” Not again. “For how much?”

“Double or nothing on his prize money.”

“God damn it. What’s he planning on doing?”

Tyson chuckled as if he didn’t quite believe it himself. “Ride Freight Train for eight.”

Damn it. That’s crazy. “When?”

“Right now. Before it gets dark.”

I hopped off the tailgate and jogged to the chutes cursing Cole under my breath the entire way. The grandstand was empty and there were only a few people still lingering around the edge of the arena fence. The bull named Freight Train was already loaded into a chute and Cole was taping his riding glove around his wrist. I shoved his shoulder. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Ron Miller is going to pay me two thousand dollars to ride one bull.”

“You mean you’re going to pay Ron Miller two thousand dollars to get tossed off one bull. I already told Mom you won.”

“I got this. Don’t worry about it.” He put his black mouthguard in, then smiled with the excessive confidence he always had right before he did something stupid.

“Freight Train is rank. He ain’t never been ridden. He put four guys in the hospital.”

Cole slapped my shoulder, undeterred. “You worry too much. Besides, I already shook the man’s hand. Let’s go make some money.”

The only thing harder than getting Cole to do something he didn’t want to do was stopping him from doing something he did want to do. It was usually easier to just let him do whatever he wanted and clean up the pieces afterwards. I gave up trying to argue sense into him, shook my head in frustration, and followed him. We both climbed the chute. It was already loaded with the black hairy mass of bovine muscle that was trying to shoulder its way through the metal rails. “Where are the bullfighters?” I asked.

“This is between me and the bull,” Cole said, believing the delusion that he was invincible.

“Jesus, you’re going to get killed.”

Without even pausing to let it the danger sink in, Cole eased himself down onto Freight Train’s back. “Just pull my rope.”

“Cole, come on. This is crazy.”

He looked at me with a wild expression in his eyes and smiled. “You’ll be thanking me later.”

“I doubt it.” I relented and pushed my boot against Freight Train’s shoulder to get him to move over. Then I pulled the rope as tight as I could. For some reason, what Shae-Lynn had said hadn’t left my head. It was bugging me. “Hey, does it sound hick when I say ain’t?”

Cole looked at me and laughed at the random question. “Yeah, you sound hick. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Nothing. I don’t know. Never mind. Just don’t get yourself killed.”

When Cole finished weaving the loose end of the rope through his fingers, I slapped him three times on his back. He tucked his chin and nodded.

It was that fast — no time to think about it meant no time to change his mind. That was how Cole did everything. Tyson opened the gate to the chute, Ron pulled the flank strap, and Freight Train exploded straight up in the air. His back hoof just missed catching my face and instead, sprayed me with a sloppy mix of dirt and manure.

“Whoo!” Tyson hollered. “Hold on, Cole. Yeah, baby.”

I glanced at the clock then back at my brother. It started out as a good ride. Then Freight Train sucked back and rolled his belly. Cole slid off balance. Since all he had to do was hold on, it didn’t matter that it wasn’t pretty.

When the buzzer rang at eight seconds, I exhaled and turned to smile smugly at Ron Miller. He threw down his hat in frustration, but his expression immediately changed. Without hesitating, he leapt over the fence into the arena. I spun around to see what he was doing.

Cole was hung up.

He was dangling by one arm and Freight Train was slamming him against the fence. I couldn’t move. My mouth went dry and my knees felt as if they were going to give out on me. The image of my dad being hung up flashed. Then I blinked and saw Cole again.

Adrenaline flooded into my veins and snapped me out of my paralysis. I jumped into the arena and ran across the thick soft dirt to the other side, but Freight Train changed directions before I got there. Ron and Tyson headed him off and made him veer away from the fence. Cole was still hung up bad and his legs were getting trampled.

Three more cowboys jumped into the arena, but none of us had experience bullfighting. Tyson was able to release the flank strap. All that did was stop Freight Train from kicking. He was still sprinting around and ramming Cole against the rails. Freight Train came straight at me, so I waved my arms to slow him down. He dropped his head and tried to horn me. I lunged to the left, but he got close enough to brush me. I wasn’t wearing a protective vest, so he tore right through my shirt. When he circled around, I jumped on his shoulder and tried to free Cole’s bull rope. It wasn’t possible to get a good hold of it because the bull jerked in the other direction and took Cole with him, knocking me on my ass.

Before I had a chance to stand up, a palomino horse blew by me at full speed. It was Shae-Lynn riding bareback on her barrel horse, Harley. She raced around the arena to catch up with Freight Train. It took her a few attempts before she was able to manoeuvre her horse to nudge the bull off the rails and pull in alongside. She tried to lift Cole by his Kevlar vest, but she wasn’t strong enough to carry his weight. Cole attempted to kick his leg up onto Harley. His arm hung like it was made of string, though, and he couldn’t get enough momentum. When his legs dropped back down, they got stomped by Harley’s hind hoof.

“Free the rope,” I yelled.

Shae-Lynn leaned over and tugged at the rope, but Freight Train turned into Harley and the jolt almost threw her over the front. Tyson stepped into the sight of the bull to redirect him back. Shae-Lynn repositioned, then tugged at the rope one more time.

Cole fell to the ground.

“Get up,” I shouted as I ran towards where he was lying in the dirt. “Get up!”

Freight Train spun around to face Cole. He snorted air out of his nostrils and hoofed the dirt getting ready to charge. Cole scrambled to his feet and hurried to the fence with his right arm flopping around. I ran between Cole and Freight Train. My plan was to distract him long enough to let Cole get to the fence — I distracted him all right — he forgot all about Cole and stampeded full speed at me before ramming his massive rock hard head into my ribcage.

He lifted his snout and launched me into the air.

After what seemed like eight seconds, gravity kicked in and the ground finally collided with my body, crushing all the air out of my lungs. My throat made a horrible sucking sound, but it didn’t actually pull any oxygen into my chest. I couldn’t move.

“Get up, Billy!” Cole shouted, frantic.

As I stared up at the darkening sky, waiting for my body to start working, I thought about how they were all going to mock me for getting freight trained by Freight Train. I was about to laugh at the irony when a huge hoof slammed down on my cheek.

The left side of my face shattered like a dropped teacup.

At first, everything was silent except for my pulse thudding through my ears. The side of my face felt warm and wet. When my hearing came back, I heard shouting. Then Shae-Lynn whimpered. “Oh my God. Billy.” She knelt beside me and her hand wrapped around mine. “Call an ambulance,” she shouted over her shoulder. “Somebody call an ambulance!” She started crying.

“Oh shit,” Cole said. I couldn’t see him. I could only hear the panic in his voice. “Shit. Shit. Shit. Ty, it’s bad. He’s hurt bad. It looks bad.” He kept his distance because he couldn’t handle the sight of blood. He never could handle it, but it got worse after we both witnessed our dad get killed. “How bad is it?”

Tyson crouched on my other side and took an objective look at my face. He scrunched his nose. “He’s conscious, but his face is caved in.”

“Oh my God. There’s so much blood,” Shae-Lynn whispered. “We have to get him to the hospital.”

“Shae-Lynn,” I tried to say, but it sounded like a gurgle because blood was pooled in the back of my throat. I turned my head and coughed out thick dark red liquid. Unfortunately, the coughing made the broken bones shift around. It hurt real bad. I stuck my fingers in my mouth and pulled out the tobacco along with three teeth. I squeezed her hand. “Make sure he takes his medication.”

“I will. Don’t even worry about anything.”

“That —” I had to cough again. “— was dangerous.”

“Yes, it was. You’re an idiot.”

I tried to smile, but moving my face made blood gush out. “Not me. You.”

“Don’t talk, Billy. Oh God. Cole, do something. He’s bleeding to death.”

“Where’s the damn ambulance?” Cole yelled.

That was the last thing I remembered.

Chapter 2

Seven Months Later

I was in my room at my mom’s house messing around on my guitar when Cole opened the door without knocking. He leaned his shoulder on the doorframe and grinned like he was up to something.

“What?”

“Is your bag packed?”

I shook my head, knowing he was going to launch into another round of high school peer pressure tactics to convince me to go on tour with him. “I told you, I’m not going. My vision is still messed up in my left eye.”

He dismissed my excuse with a wave. “The doctor said you’re fine to ride.”

“I think I know if my eye is too messed up to ride better than she does.”

His posture collapsed into phase two of his pressure tactic, which was whining. “Come on, Billy. Don’t be a buzz kill. What are you going to do around here until September?”

“Work and take care of Mom,” I said for likely the millionth time since I told him I was retiring.

“We can hire a nurse for Mom. You’ll make more money on the circuit than what you make at the bar.” Logic. Phase three.

“Hank Pollert needs a ranch hand. I told him I could help out during the week, so I’ll be making two incomes.”

“You don’t want to be stuck here all summer doing that.”

“You’re going to be stuck here all summer doing that, too. Your shoulder is still too messed up to ride.”

“What are you talking about?” He patted his arm roughly to prove its sturdiness. “It’s as good as new.”

“You haven’t even been on a bull in seven months.”

“I’ve been training.”

“On saddle Broncs and mechanical barrels. It’s not the same. You’ll go one go on a bull and be done for the season.”

“Come with me just this weekend. If I get tossed, you can come home. If I win, we go on tour.”

Bargaining. That was an angle he hadn’t tried before. He must have been getting desperate. Not interested, I strummed the strings of my guitar. “No thanks.”

“You weren’t really serious about quitting, were you?”

“I didn’t quit. I retired.”

“You can’t retire. You’re twenty years old.”

“Well, I did.”

“Fine. You can be retired from bull riding and still come with me as my manager.”

“No.”

“I got a surprise for you. Look out the window.” He held the curtain back and pointed like a hyper kid.

When it became obvious that he wasn’t going to leave unless I looked, I rested my guitar on the bed and walked over to the window. Attached to the back of his pickup was a silver camper.

“Do you like it? It’s got a kitchen and a shower.” He went on to list a bunch of top of the line features like a salesman.

“I don’t care if it’s got a porch and an attic. I’m not going.” I sat on the edge of the bed and unfolded the paperwork from the University of Saskatchewan that I needed to fill out in order to reapply. “I have responsibilities. I can’t dick around on the circuit anymore.”

“I promise not to get killed.”

The image of Dad getting stomped flashed through my mind and made my muscles flinch involuntarily. “Yeah, well, that could happen whether I go with you or not.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

I looked up and stared at him for a while. I hated being he reason for the disappointed look on his face, but I had to stand my ground. “I don’t want to go.”

“I need to do this, Billy. I can’t end my career like that, and I need you there or I won’t be able to get back up on a bull.”

And, the guilt trip. Final phase. “Nobody cares if you quit.”

“I do, and Dad would have.”

I scoffed. “Look where that attitude got him.”

Cole wandered across the room and stared out the window at the trailer for a while. Honouring Dad’s memory was not an angle that was going to work on me and Cole obviously realized it because he sat on the edge of my desk and tried another approach. “Rodeo is all I know. It’s the only place I feel like myself.”

“I’m not stopping you from going. I just don’t want to go.”

“Who’s going to make sure I take my medications?”

I shook my head, not buying his useless act.

“Who’s going to remind me to fill out my forms?”

I propped the guitar back on my lap and practiced my picking, hoping he would eventually run out of arguments and go.

“Who’s going to drag me out of bed and make me scrambled eggs every morning?”

“You can learn to do all that for yourself.”

He pushed his hat back and propped his hands on his knees. He thought for a while then he said, “Mom will worry herself sick if you aren’t there watching over me.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes, wishing he would just give up and leave without me.

“Rodeo is all you know, too.”

“Yeah, well that’s the problem. I don’t want to spend my whole life riding bulls and have nothing to show for it but a trunk full of buckles, arthritis, and an empty bank account. Besides, Mom needs my help around here.”

“Come on, Billy. Just one more season. I need someone to slap my back for good luck. I can’t do that myself.”

Shit. I blinked hard then glared at him. Although it was nearly impossible to talk him into or out of things, with me, it was just a matter of finding the one thing that struck a chord. The back slap was that thing. The satisfied grin on his face made it clear that he knew he’d finally stumbled onto the bullseye.

“Please, Billy.”

I rubbed my face and gave in. “Fine, one weekend, but if you wreck, I’m not going to help you.”

“Deal.” He clapped his hands.

“I must be crazy,” I mumbled as I got up to pack my bag.

“We both know I’m the crazy one.” He tackled me onto the bed and wrapped his arms around me in a headlock to roughhouse. “Ooh, look at that. My baby brother is still stronger than me. Maybe we’ll get you back on a bull yet.”

I twisted out of his hold and pinned him across the throat. “I will always be stronger than you, but I’m never getting on a bull again.”

“You lost your nerve?”

“No. One of us has to stay alive to take care of Mom. We both know it isn’t going to be you.”

“You got that right.” He pushed his hands into my chest and launched me off him. “Stop horsing around and get your bag packed. That shiny new camper is pulling out of here in exactly eight seconds.”

When we arrived at the rodeo, we parked in the participants’ area and the smell of dust, diesel, and dung descended on us. Cole inhaled and smiled the same way he did when he took the first puff of a cigarette after quitting for a while. “Smells like home, don’t it?” He swatted my shoulder and then headed over to the indoor arena to sign in.

I kicked at the dirt, raised my face up to the warm sunshine, and inhaled. It did kind of feel like home. I put my hat on and followed Cole to the arena. A girl with long strawberry red hair was practicing barrels on a palomino horse. I leaned my elbows on the rail and watched. Her turns were the tightest I’d ever seen and then she let it rip home.

“Damn,” I said to Cole. “That girl is going to give Shae-Lynn a run for her money.”

“That is Shae, you idiot.”

I squinted and tried to make out her face. She looked different. It was definitely Harley, though. “Has her hair always been red?” I asked, confused why I hadn’t noticed that before.

“I don’t know,” he replied, not actually caring. “I’ll be right back.”

I nodded to acknowledge I heard him, but I was more focused on Shae-Lynn walking Harley around to cool him down. I was pretty sure her hair used to be dirty blonde or light brown. I couldn’t remember for some reason. When she noticed me, I tipped my hat. She smiled and waved, but then frowned and turned to walk him in the opposite direction.

“Hey, Cole,” a girl behind me said.

I looked over my shoulder. Cole wasn’t around. Tawnie was smiling at me. “Uh, Cole’s signing in. I’m his brother, Billy.”

“Oh, sorry. You look alike.” She held out her hand to shake mine. “Nice to meet you. I’m Tawnie Lang.” She bit the corner of her bottom lip and slid her hands in her back pockets, which made her top stretch across her chest and the fabric gape between the buttons. “Actually, who am I kidding? I knew you were Cole’s brother. I was just looking for an excuse to come over and introduce myself.”

“You don’t need an excuse. Nice to meet you, Tawnie.”

She smiled and relaxed. “Which event are you competing in this weekend?”

“I’m not competing. I don’t ride anymore.”

She moved in next to me to lean her elbows on the rail. She smelled like wild lavender. Up close, she was even prettier. “Do you know anything about barrel racing?” she asked without actually looking at me.

“A little.”

“Something hasn’t been quite right with my timing on Willow lately. Will you watch my run and tell me how my form is?” She turned her head and looked right into my eyes in a sexy way that she likely knew had an effect on men. It had been so long since the last time I saw her, I had forgotten how strong the attraction was.

I couldn’t quite remember the question, but I knew whatever it was, I was okay with it. “Sure.”

She touched my arm flirtatiously before she climbed the fence and walked over to where her horse was tethered. Shae-Lynn looked over at me one more time before exiting the arena with Harley following behind. Tawnie warmed up for a while, then lined up to do a practice run. Cole walked over and leaned on the fence next to me to watch. It was an ugly run. Willow stumbled twice and Tawnie almost lost her stirrup on the last barrel. She loped home and circled at a trot. She stopped in front of us. “See what I mean? What do you think I’m doing wrong?”

Cole stood up straight and said, “Time to retire her.” He walked away.

Tawnie’s eyebrows angled. “What’s Cole talking about?”

“Your horse is favouring her front left leg.”

“Like a sprain?”

“No. She’s probably done.”

“But she’s only seven years old.” Tawnie’s face tightened as if she was on the verge of crying. I looked around to see if anyone else was watching. Seeing girls cry was one of my least favourite things in the world. Being the reason why they were crying was pretty much the only thing worse. Not that I hadn’t made my fair share of girls cry. I just felt horrible doing it.

“I could be wrong. You should check with the vet,” I said to make her feel better.

“Even if it’s just a sprain, I can’t ride her this weekend. Damn it.” She dismounted. “I already paid for the hotel and I’m going to lose my entry fee too.”

“You could borrow a horse.”

The tears she’d been holding back made their way through her eyelashes. She wiped the back of her hand across her cheeks. “Do you know someone who has one?”

I stared down at the dirt to avoid making eye contact. Her sniffling was hard to ignore though. “I could talk to Ron Miller.”

“Would you?”

I nodded, although I wasn’t exactly sure why I had offered in the first place.

“Thanks, Billy. Let me know if he has anything.” She waved with a big smile on her face before she walked Willow back to the arena opening. Her hips swayed with purpose as if she knew I was watching.

Damn it. A pretty girl cries and next thing I know I’m checking on getting a horse for her. Idiot. I wandered outside and over to the back pens. Ron was talking to a couple of guys, but he excused himself when he saw me. He walked over to shake my hand. “The face is looking good, Billy. How are you feeling?” He bent over and adjusted a gate hinge.

“A bit of a vision problem in one eye, but can’t complain. Thanks.” I tipped my hat back and scanned the pens. “Do you have any quarter horses that can run the barrels?”

He stood upright and adjusted his hat, always interested in talking business. “I’ve got a couple back home and one mare here. My daughter trained her, but she’s never competed.”

“Tawnie Lang needs a horse for the weekend. Her horse came up lame.”

“Ten thousand dollars.”

I laughed. “I don’t want to buy her. I was hoping Tawnie could just borrow her, show her off for you.”

“Nope. I don’t want her getting injured.”

“I doubt Tawnie can afford to buy her. She was upset about losing her entry fee.”

“Then I guess I can’t help you.”

I shouldn’t have cared. All I had to do was go back and tell Tawnie he didn’t have anything for her to borrow. Losing her entry fee wasn’t that big of a deal. On the other hand, if Ron gave me a good deal, I could buy the horse, let Tawnie show her off, and sell her for a profit. “How old is she?”

Ron smiled and tilted his hat up, glad that I was interested enough to not let it go. “Four.”

If the horse was fast, I’d be able to flip her before the weekend was over. If she was slow, I’d be paying for board until I found a sucker to buy her. Tawnie wasn’t as good of a rider as Shae-Lynn and there was a possibility she wouldn’t show off the horse’s full potential. I decided to negotiate a backup plan, so I wouldn’t get stuck with a horse I couldn’t sell. “Seven thousand, but I want to see her run in competition first. If Tawnie wins on her, I’ll buy her.”

“If Tawnie doesn’t win?”

“Consider it a loaner.”

He took his hat off and scratched his head. He took his time thinking, which was obviously his negotiation style. “She must be some girl. You can have your trial run, but I want eight thousand if she wins.”

“Deal.” I shook his hand. “And it’s not about a girl. It’s business.”

“Sure. Sure.” He smiled knowingly. “You want to see the horse?”

Damn. Maybe it was about the girl. If it had really been about reselling the horse for a profit, I would have thought to check her out first. Shaking my head because I couldn’t believe I’d just done something so Cole-like, I said, “Yeah, that would probably be a good idea.”

We walked over to a paddock and he put a bay quarter horse on a lead. He walked her around so I could watch her gait and then he brought her close. I ran my hand over her spine and down her legs. She was a nice horse.

“What’s her name?”

“Stella.”

I checked her teeth and looked at her face. “Hey, Stella. Are you fast?”

She bobbed her head up and down as if she understood me. Ron laughed. “I taught her to do that.” He gave her a pat and handed me the lead. “You better hope your brother wins so you can pay for her.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” I said, although I was worried about it. I led Stella over to the parking lot and wandered around until I found Tawnie’s truck and trailer. She was bent over wrapping Willow’s leg. “Hey, I got you something.”

She spun around and her expression transitioned between shock and joy. “Oh, she’s gorgeous.”

“Her name’s Stella. Ron said you can use her for the weekend.”

Tawnie bounded over and launched herself at me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and knocked my hat off in the process. “Thanks, Billy.” Before I had a chance to register the fact that she was hugging me, she stopped, and lunged over to pick my hat up off the ground. “Sorry.” She brushed it lightly and handed it back to me.

I held it in my hands and watched as she inspected Stella. The smile on her face made her even more beautiful. Knowing that I put that smile on her face felt pretty good.

“I’m going to go see if the barrels are still set up,” she said excitedly. “If I can get some arena time, do you want to come over and watch?”

“Sure.”

“What’s your phone number? I’ll text you if I can get a run.”

I told her my number and watched her type it into her phone.

“Thank you so much.”

I put my hat back on and tipped the brim at her. “Don’t mention it.”

She led Stella across the field towards the arena. I watched her hair sway across her back for a while, then headed over to our trailer to wait for her text. Shae-Lynn’s family motorhome was parked next to us and she was standing near her horse trailer, brushing Harley.

“Hey,” I said.

She stood up, but kept brushing. “Hi. I thought you were quitting the rodeo in order to pursue non-redneck careers.”

“Retired, not quit. Cole convinced me to come along for this weekend only. It’s his first ride back since his shoulder injury.”

“I’m sure it didn’t take too much convincing to get you to tag along. You were literally born at a rodeo.”

“Only because my dad and all his buddies, including your dad, were too drunk to drive my mom to the hospital.”

She smiled at the memory of our dads retelling that story every chance they got, then her expression turned more serious. “It won’t be easy to get it out of your blood.”

“I don’t even miss it.” I leaned in and gently tugged her braid. “You changed your hair.”

“Yeah.” She seemed unsure whether I was teasing her.

“It looks good.”

Her cheeks blushed as she tucked a few flyaways behind her ear. “Thanks.”

I studied her face for a while. “Is something else different too?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “No. I’m the same as I’ve always been.” Her big green eyes shifted to meet my stare.

There was something different about her, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. “Is your mom inside?”

“No. She’s touring with my dad. It’s just Lee-Anne and me.”

“Your dad agreed to let his daughters’ tour around on this circuit without chaperones?”

“He doesn’t know. He thinks we’re back in Calgary.”

I chuckled and shook my head, wondering how that was going to go when he found out and the shit hit the fan. “That’s probably not a good idea with all these cowboys around.”

“What difference does it make if we’re home by ourselves with a bunch of ranch hands, or on the circuit by ourselves with a bunch of rodeo cowboys?”

“He can fire his ranch hands for messing with either of you.”

She seemed surprised that I even had an opinion on the subject. “We’re not kids anymore. We can take care of ourselves.”

I watched her for a while, still trying to figure out what was different about her. “That was a good practice run you had earlier.”

She smiled, maybe from the compliment I gave her, or maybe from the memory of the last conversation we had when I gave her barrel racing advice. “Someone told me Harley was dropping his shoulder on the first barrel. My times have been improving since I corrected it.”

“Hmm. Do you always take other people’s advice?”

“Only if they’re right.”

“You’re welcome,” I said, kind of cocky.

Her eyes darted over to connect with mine and she seemed like she was going to say something sassy about my arrogance, but instead she said, “You look different.”

“Yeah, they had to reconstruct my cheek and jaw bone.”

She nodded her approval. “You look good.”

I laughed. “What does that mean? Are you saying that the bull kicked the ugly out of me?”

“No.” She snuck one more glance, then went back to grooming. “You look more like your dad.”

She was the only person who wasn’t afraid to talk about my dad around me. It seemed strange to hear her do it so casually, but for some reason I didn’t mind it coming from her. I pushed my hat back and watched her pick Harley’s front left hoof. “Hey, I don’t know if Cole ever thanked you, but I want to thank you for what you did.”

She stood and leaned against Harley’s neck to give him a hug. “You don’t need to thank me. I’m just glad you’re both okay now.” She slid her hand over Harley’s coat and ran her fingers through his mane. “How much school did you miss?”

“Two terms.”

“Are you planning on going back?”

I nodded, although I hadn’t handed in the forms to reapply after my medical leave of absence. “What have you been doing since I saw you last?” I asked.

“I took some music theory and sports psychology courses at the University of Calgary.”

“Great. You’ll be able to diagnose me when you finish your degree.”

She laughed. “I think I can already do that.”

“Really? You think you’ve got me all figured out?”

“Yeah, I do.” She threw the hoof pick in the grooming tray. “I think I have your brother figured out too.”

“I doubt that. There’s a whole team of professionals who haven’t been able to figure him out.” I turned out of habit as if I was going to spit.

Her eyebrows angled together, and she tilted her head when I didn’t actually spit. “You’re not chewing tobacco.”

“I quit.”

“Really?” She sounded legitimately surprised.

“Yeah, some girl told me it was repulsive.”

She laughed, and seemed a bit smug that I took her advice. “Have you quit saying ain’t too?”

“Only hicks say ain’t.”

She rested her cheek against Harley’s cheek as she massaged his neck. “Do you always take other people’s advice?”

Usually, no. I gave Harley a pat, wondering why I had taken her comments about me being hick to heart. I didn’t have an explanation, but she was waiting for me to respond, so I stole her comment from before. “Only if they’re right.”

I meant for it to be funny, but it didn’t make her laugh. It seemed to make her get lost in thought. Her sister Lee-Anne bounced up and shoved me in the shoulder to interrupt. “Billy Ray Ryan, did you really buy a barrel horse for Tawnie Lang?”

Shae-Lynn frowned and ducked under the rope to brush Harley’s other side. I glanced at Lee-Anne. “Who told you that?”

“Who didn’t tell me that? Everybody’s gossiping.”

“There’s nothing to gossip about. Tawnie’s just trying her out for the weekend. If she doesn’t win, Stella goes back to Ron.”

“So, if she wins, you’re going to buy the horse?”

I pulled the brim of my hat down and kicked at the dirt. “Well, I have to.”

Shae-Lynn threw the brush in the grooming tray and walked behind the horse trailer where I couldn’t see her. Lee-Anne shook her head in a consolatory way as if she thought I was the stupidest person on the planet. My phone buzzed with a text. It was from Tawnie.

“I have to go.” I stepped around Harley to see where Shae-Lynn went. She wasn’t around. “Tell your sister I said bye.”

“Yeah. See ya,” Lee-Anne said, more amused than she should have been. It was just business.

On my way to the arena, Cole, Tyson, and Tyson’s cousin Blake caught up to me. Cole twisted my ear painfully and forced me to lean towards him. “Did you just drop eight thousand dollars on a horse for a chick who you are not only not sleeping with, but you have never even gone on a date with?”

“Ow. Let go.”

He released my ear and punched me in the shoulder, hard. “Where are you going to get eight thousand dollars from? I’m not paying for it.”

“Don’t worry about it. She has to win for the sale to go through.” I turned to look at Blake, who I hadn’t seen since I used to compete in the bigger rodeos. “What are you doing on this circuit?”

“I broke my collarbone. I decided to hang out with you sorry ass excuses for cowboys for a while and give my big cousin some pointers.” He mussed up Tyson’s hair.

“Watch it or I’ll break your other collarbone,” Tyson warned.

Tawnie and Stella were setting up in the alley as we walked over to the ring. They took off from the gate and she ripped around the first barrel. All four of us stepped forward and leaned on the fence to watch. She turned the second barrel with no air between and actually gained momentum. She skimmed the last barrel and then let the reins out and kicked home. We all looked up at the clock.

The contents of my stomach turned.

Cole and the Wiese boys laughed.

“Looks like you bought your girl a fast pony,” Cole said as he slapped my shoulder. “Better go find eight grand somewhere.”

“Shit.”

Chapter 3

Cole was thrown on his first two outs, so he didn’t qualify for the finals. We had to stay until Sunday, though, to find out whether I was going to owe Ron Miller eight thousand dollars that I didn’t have for a horse I didn’t want. I’d already asked around to see if anyone was in the market to buy a barrel racing horse, but nobody was. Shae-Lynn was leading Tawnie going into the championship round, so I wasn’t too concerned. Stella was fast though. She was almost too fast for Tawnie’s riding ability. If Shae-Lynn rode her, they’d definitely be able to tear it up on the bigger circuits.

Cole and the Wiese boys weaved through the crowd, making their way up to where I was sitting in the grandstand. “You look like you’re going to throw up.” Cole laughed and sat down next to me. “I thought I was the one who was supposed to do stupid impulsive things.”

“It must run in the family.” I tugged on my shirt collar to try to relieve the strangling feeling in my throat. The more I thought about it, the more I realized what a bonehead decision it had been. If Tawnie won and I didn’t find a buyer before the weekend was over, I’d have to come up with the eight thousand for Ron and extra to transport, board, and feed the horse.

“What’s the plan if she wins?” Cole asked. “Are we going to make a run for it?”

“I’ll find a buyer, eventually, but she’s not going to win. Shae-Lynn was looking good in practice.”

He smiled as if he wasn’t so sure about that and watched Lee-Anne entertain the crowd with her trick riding.

Tyson tilted his head as she rode hanging upside down off the side of her saddle. “How does she bend like that?”

“I bet she’s bendy in all sorts of ways,” Blake said. “That is a definite asset.”

“Forget it,” Cole told him. “She has a boyfriend back home.”

“I bet she does.” He smiled in a sleazy way. “Look at that flexibility.”

When she finished, they all stood up hooting and hollering. The rest of the crowd wasn’t really paying that much attention. They were mostly only there to see the bulls that were coming up later. When the ground crew entered the arena to set up the barrels, I shifted around on the bench, looked up, and prayed, “Come on, Shae-Lynn.”

Unfortunately, Tawnie and Shae-Lynn were the last two of eight riders, so I had to sit there trying not to puke through the other ones. When the silhouette of Tawnie mounted on Stella entered the alley, I had to close my eyes. I didn’t want to wish her any bad, but I really hoped she would make a mistake. I opened one eye and peeked. Stella took off as if she’d been struck in the butt by lightening. Tawnie had to fight to get her to slow down enough to get around the first barrel. They flew around the next two barrels. When she ran home, I literally felt a blast of air as they raced by us.

“Yee haw!” the announcer shouted over the loud speaker. “If you blinked you missed Tawnie Lang on her new mount, Stella. Look at that time. She just blew the competition right out of the water. Ladies and gentlemen, this is as good as barrel racing gets. Give that pretty lady another round of applause. She has posted the fastest time of the weekend.” I glanced over at Cole, nervous as hell. He smiled at me in a goofy way as the announcer blabbed on, “With only one competitor left to ride, this is shaping up to be quite the race. We’ve got Shae Roberts on Harley. She was last year’s top earner in prize money and she was in first place coming into this round. She is going to need a fast time to stay there though.”

“I can’t watch.” I buried my face in my hands, only for a second, then looked up when the hooves pounded against the dirt. Harley ran fast, but Shae-Lynn didn’t approach the pocket properly and Harley dropped his shoulder way too early on the first turn. She picked it up around the other two barrels and then raced through the finish line. It wasn’t going to be a fast enough time though. Shae-Lynn immediately jumped off Harley and walked him out of the arena without even waiting for the time to be posted.

“What was that?” Cole mumbled, partly perplexed, but mostly amused.

“It almost looked like she threw that on purpose,” Tyson said after the scoreboard confirmed that she dropped to second place.

I was too stunned to say anything. I just sat there staring at the barrels.

“We’re going to watch Ty from behind the chutes. You coming?” Cole asked.

When I didn’t respond, he shrugged and then rushed to catch up to the other guys. I sat there all through the bulls and I was still sitting there after the grandstand had emptied. Eventually, Ron found me and climbed up. “Looks like you bought yourself a horse.”

I tilted my hat back and rested my elbows on my knees, still speechless that Shae-Lynn messed up.

“If I knew Stella was going to be that fast in competition I would have charged you more.”

“I don’t actually have the money right now, but I’m good for it.”

“You better be. I’m going to run five percent interest on it until you pay it off, so don’t take too long.”

“You can keep her until I get the money. I don’t even have a trailer or anything.”

“I don’t want her. You’re going to have to figure something out.”

I rubbed my face and sighed. “Yeah. All right.”

He chuckled at my misery as he climbed back down the bleachers.

I got up and went outside to find Tawnie. Shae-Lynn was walking back from the concession stand with a sandwich and a bottle of water. I ran to catch up with her. “Hey, what happened?”

She shook her head. “I just wasn’t feeling it today. Harley might have an upset stomach or something.”

“Harley was fine.”

Her eyes darted to meet mine for a second, then she stared down at the grass as she continued walking. “I can’t win them all. Stella’s a good horse.”

“The guys think you did it intentionally.”

“They do, do they?”

“Did you?”

“Why would I lose on purpose?”

“You tell me.”

“I just wasn’t feeling it today.” She walked faster.

“Shae-Lynn, what’s wrong?”

“For the millionth time, call me Shae.” She started jogging at that point and I wasn’t going to chase after her, so I went to find Tawnie. She was brushing Stella.

“Hey Billy. Did you watch the race? She is such a good horse. I absolutely love her. Too bad she has to go back to Ron.”

“Actually, I bought her from him.”

The comment took her off guard and she processed it for a few seconds. “You don’t even have a trailer. What are going to do with a horse?”

I took my hat off and ran my fingers through my hair, hoping she was willing to do me a favour since I did her one. “Would you be willing to take her?”

“I would love to, but I can’t afford to lease a horse.”

I paced, trying to come with a solution that wouldn’t end up with me having to buy a trailer and find a barn to board at. “If you cover the cost of boarding her, we can call it even.”

She eyed me suspiciously. “You’re going to just let me use your horse for nothing?”

“Well, you could give me one percent of your earnings on her if that makes you feel any better.”

“One percent? That’s it? Are you serious? I’ll give you ten percent.”

That was easy. “Fine.”

She squealed and launched herself at me for another hug. I was ready for it, so I squeezed my arms around her to make it last a little longer. “Thank you, Billy. I’ll take good care of her, and you can have her back whenever you want.” She rested her hands on my shoulders, which gave me a good angle to check out her cleavage. She bit the corner of her lip for a second. “We should go out and celebrate.”

My body reacted a little to the warmth of her hands and the scent of her perfume. I smiled. “Yeah. That’s a good idea.”

“All right. I’m going to ask someone to watch the horses. Then I need to go back to the hotel to get cleaned up. Rochelle said everyone is going to bar called Stetsons. I’ll meet you there later.”

I nodded, tipped my hat, and watched her ass as she spun and walked away.

Back at the camper, I showered and dressed in clean clothes. Cole came in as I was ironing my shirt. “Where you going?”

“To the bar.”

“With who?”

“Nobody,” I said because I didn’t want him giving me the gears.

“Yeah, right.” He unbuttoned his shirt and unbuckled his belt. “Wait for me. I’m coming with you.” He hopped into the shower and took forever.

“Hurry up,” I yelled through the door as I buttoned my shirt.

“Settle down. You don’t want to get there too early and be waiting.”

“I’d like to get there before it closes.”

Fifteen minutes later, he stepped out of the bathroom wearing a towel around his waist, smelling like a piña colada from his shower gel. “What are you worried about? You know girls take forever to get ready. I can guarantee she won’t be there before you — especially if she likes you.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everyone knows that a girl who doesn’t put any effort into looking good on a first date isn’t into you. Who is it, by the way? Tawnie?”

I didn’t say anything.

“That girl better thank you for buying her a damn horse. Here, take these.” He threw a handful of condoms at me.

“I didn’t buy her a horse. I bought a horse that she is just going to ride.”

He shook his head, not buying it, then looked in the mirror to apply a moisturizer.

I sat back and stretched my legs along the dinette bench. “I can see why you know so much about women. You pretty much are one.”

He threw the cap from the moisturizer bottle at me, then winked at himself in the mirror as he put some sort of product in his hair.

“Oh my God. Who cares what your hair looks like? You’re going to be wearing a hat.”

“The hat comes off at the end of the night, and I fully intend for some pretty girl to be seeing how my hair looks underneath it.” He sprayed cologne in the air. “Speaking of which, if I bring a girl back here, you need to find somewhere else to sleep.”

“No way. Get a room.”

“I bought this camper. You have two options: leave or listen.”

I rolled my eyes in exasperation. “Just hurry up.”

Chapter 4

We got to the bar at eleven o’clock because Cole was hungry. I knew he hadn’t eaten all day, so we went for dinner first. The band was pretty decent and a lot of people were dancing. I scanned the room for Tawnie, but didn’t see her. What I did see was Tyson and Blake sitting at a table near the back with Lee-Anne, her best friend Rochelle, and Shae-Lynn. Blake had his arm draped across Shae-Lynn’s shoulder. She looked up at me for a second, but when she noticed that I was already looking, and not impressed that Blake was hanging off her, she turned her head to take a sip of beer and watch the dancers.

“Isn’t he a bit old for her?” I asked Cole as we stood at the bar to get drinks.

“Who?”

“Blake.”

Cole checked over his shoulder and shrugged, unconcerned. “He’s twenty, same as you. Isn’t she almost nineteen?”

I frowned and glanced at the table again. Shae-Lynn didn’t seem comfortable. Blake seemed smug. The bartender slid two beers over.

“What are you doing?” I asked Cole. “You know you can’t drink.”

He rolled his eyes like an irritable teenager before he handed me both beers. He leaned over and yelled at the bartender, “Can I get a Coke too? My keeper says I can’t have a beer.” As he waited, he looked at me. “I forgot my wallet.”

I shook my head, not surprised, and pulled out cash to pay the bartender. Cole grabbed his drink and headed towards the table where everyone else was sitting. I downed half a beer before following him. A guy asked Rochelle to dance, so Lee-Anne moved over into her seat and invited me to sit in her chair. I handed her the second beer.

“Thanks.” She tipped it back to take a swig. “You bought a fast horse for Tawnie.”

“I didn’t buy it for her. She’s just riding it.”

“Mmm hmm.” She tilted the bottle up for another sip.

Blake leaned over and whispered something in Shae-Lynn’s ear that made her smile. He placed his empty bottle down on the table and stood with his hand extended towards her. She slid her hand over his and followed him out onto the dance floor. As they two-stepped, I finished my beer and signalled the waitress to bring me another one.

Rochelle was back, and Lee-Anne was telling her a story that had something to do with her boyfriend, TJ. I wasn’t really listening. Blake and Shae-Lynn danced for three fast songs, and based on how much she was smiling, she must have been having a pretty good time. When a slow song came on, she said something to Blake before walking off the dance floor. He followed her to the bar, ordered a beer for himself and a bottled water for her. They stood at the bar for a while, talking. When he turned as if he was going to head back towards the table, she glanced at me. When he noticed that she was hesitating, he reached over and held her hand to lead her back to the table. I downed the rest of my drink and signalled the waitress to bring me another one.

Once they were sitting, Blake draped his arm over Shae-Lynn’s shoulder. She stared at the table. He stared at me. “So, Billy, when are you going to start riding with the big boys again?” he asked.

I was definitely going to get into it with him. I shook my head. “I’m retired.”

“Why? Did you get sick of me always taking home the buckle?” He laughed at his own joke. Nobody else did.

“Check the record books, Blake. You never won shit when I was competing against you.”

He leaned over to shout at Cole. “Hey, who won more when we went up against each other? Billy or me?”

Cole smiled, happy to get into the middle of a disagreement. “You already know the answer to that question. Billy’s the best God damned bull rider in the country. He’s got a case full of buckles at home to prove it.”

“Was,” Blake mumbled.

“When do you expect your collarbone to be healed enough get back to trying to catch my records?” I asked, partly because I wanted to rub it in his face that I was still ranked higher than he was. Also, because I didn’t think he was good enough for Shae-Lynn, and the sooner he shoved off the better.

He shrugged. “I don’t want to rush it. Besides, I kind of like hanging out here with Shae.” He squeezed his arm to pull her into his chest. “Maybe I’ll take the whole summer off. What do you care anyway? You quit.”

“I retired.” An urge to punch the smug look off his face flashed through me and I had to cross my arms to resist the impulse. Cole obviously knew I was on the verge of jumping the table because he grinned and moved his drink so it wouldn’t get spilled when I did.

Shae-Lynn pushed off Blake’s ribs and sat up straight as if she sensed their closeness was what I was pissed about. Interestingly, she was wearing the same old jeans and tank top that she had on when I saw her coming from the concession stand. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she didn’t have any make-up on, except maybe that cherry lipgloss. Her lips did look shiny. Lee-Anne had on dark jeans with rhinestones over the seams, new looking boots, and a sparkly low cut top. Her hair was sprayed to the point that it didn’t move when she did.

Blake abruptly got up to say hello to someone he knew. It was a pussy move because he knew I could take him, and would have, if he hadn’t broken the tension. I leaned in and asked Lee-Anne, “How long did it take you to get ready?”

“Shut up.”

“What? I’m not trying to insult you. It’s a serious question.”

She eyeballed me scornfully, but when she realized I wasn’t joking, she answered, “Forty-five minutes. Why?”

I turned my head back to look at Shae-Lynn, who obviously spent no time getting ready. “I was just wondering.”

“Relax, Billy Ray,” Lee-Anne said. She shoved my shoulder, trying to loosen me up. “You’ve been so serious since —” She checked my expression. “Since, you know.” She took another sip of beer. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up. I just miss good time Billy.”

“Yeah, well, good time Billy has responsibilities now.” Blake returned to the table and sat on the other side of Shae-Lynn, away from me. I turned so I could have a private conversation with Lee-Anne. “Are you okay with her dating someone older?”

“Blake? Yeah. Why not? He’s a total sweetheart.”

“He’s an asshole.”

“To you maybe. He’s sweet to her. He always has been. He’s been following her around like a puppy dog for years.”

“How long have they been dating?”

“Since tonight. He’s asked her out a million times and for some reason she finally said yes.”

Arms wrapped around me from behind and a girl’s voice whispered in my ear, “Guess what?”

I twisted to see that it was Tawnie.

She kissed my cheek and her chest squished against my back. Her breath smelled like beer. “I got a sponsor. Jordan Outfitters has offered to pay for all my travel expenses for the rest of the season. I also get all the boots I want.”

“That’s great.”

“It’s all because of Stella.” She squeezed my neck and kissed my ear.

“Congratulations,” Lee-Anne and Rochelle said at the same time.

“That’s great news.” Shae-Lynn stood and yanked Blake by the hand. “You can have my seat. We’re leaving.”

Blake tipped his hat at all of us, then eagerly hurried to keep up with her. I watched them leave out the front door. Tawnie sat down in Shae-Lynn’s chair and told us all about how the Jordan rep had approached her at the hotel and had her sign some papers. She was really excited.

After a while, Tyson asked Lee-Anne to dance, Rochelle wandered over to the bar with a guy, and Cole never came back from a trip to the restroom because he was chatting up a cute curly haired girl. Tawnie and I were alone at the table. Her tight black jeans and unbuttoned white top showed off all her curves. Her hair was hanging perfectly straight and it was so shiny.

“You look nice,” I said, because the alcohol had kicked in.

Her smile was sexy. “Thanks. Do you dance?”

“I wouldn’t be able to call myself a cowboy if I didn’t know how to two-step, now would I?” I stood and led her by the waist to the dance floor. When I spun her to face me, the small of her back arched under the pressure of my palm. She smiled and slid her hand over my biceps to rest it on my shoulder. As we moved across the floor, wafts of wild lavender breezed over me. I spun her around and her hair fanned out catching the light. The cowboys loitering around the edge of the dance floor all angled to watch her move.

We spent the rest of the night two-stepping until the DJ announced last call and played a slow song. Tawnie stepped in close and our belt buckles clinked together. She slid her palms up over my abs and let them linger on my chest as she leaned in and pressed her lips to my neck pulse. My heart raced, and she must have felt it because she tilted her head back and smiled. I spun her around, then pulled her body close again. She giggled and it seemed like she was waiting on me to kiss her when Cole came over with the curly haired girl under his arm. He handed me the keys to the truck. “Molly’s going to drive me back to the camper.” He winked, then left.

Tawnie and I finished the dance, and the house lights came on, but she didn’t step away. “Did you drive here from the hotel?” I asked her.

“I took a cab. I can catch a ride back with Rochelle.”

“Rochelle left when Cole did. I can give you a lift if you like.”

She studied me. “How much have you had to drink?”

“I’m fine,” I said, although I was feeling pretty buzzed.

Her left eyebrow lifted slightly and a smile stretched across her face. She tucked her hair behind her ear and tugged my hand to invite me to follow her. We walked outside and I opened the truck door for her. She didn’t talk as we drove. When I pulled up in front of the hotel and parked, she didn’t make a move to get out.

“Which rodeo are you entering next?” I finally asked to break the silence.

“Falkland. How about you?”

“I’m retired.”

“Cole said you were going to be his manager.”

“He’s delusional.”

She looked as if she wanted to ask more, but she just nodded. She turned her head and stared at me for a while. “Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

I smiled at her forwardness. “Well, if we’re going to do that, we should do it properly.” I took my hat off and placed it on the dashboard, then got out of the truck and walked around the front to the passenger side. I opened the door and held her hand to help her out. She ran her palms up my chest and hung her arms casually over my shoulders. I stepped close and leaned in to kiss her. Her full lips were soft and her mouth tasted like peppermint mixed with beer.

After we kissed for a while, she slid her hands down and unbuttoned my shirt. Then she tugged at my belt buckle. She backed into the truck and reclined on the bench seat, smiling. “Get in here,” she said.

“Uh.” My eyes scanned her body. I scratched my head. It only took two seconds for my hormones to decide that it wouldn’t hurt to postpone the official retirement until after one last rodeo one-night stand. “Wouldn’t you rather go to your room?”

She shook her head and took her shirt off over her head. “We can’t. I’m rooming with Rochelle.”

Although doing it in a truck was something I did a lot when I was younger, years of rodeoing, and at least ten serious injuries made me less flexible and less enthusiastic about doing it in cramped spaces. She looked unbelievably hot though, so I knelt in with one knee and angled my other foot on the floor to close the door behind me. She clutched the fabric of my shirt and pulled me down onto her. My back kinked and my hamstring locked up, which made me wince before I was able to readjust and lean in to kiss her. She kicked her boots off and slid her jeans down. There was a blue flying sparrow tattooed above her hip bone. I looked up to see if anyone was around. Fortunately, the windows were steamy. “Do you have a boyfriend or anything that I should know about?”

“No. Do you have a girlfriend?”

I leaned in and kissed her. “No, not at the present moment.”

Her hand reached down and she tugged at my jeans to release the fly, one button at a time.

“Are you sure you want to do this in a truck?”

She laughed. “Stop talking and get to work.”

I smiled and reached down to pull her thigh up. “All right. You asked for it.”

She giggled, grabbed the back of my hair, and kissed me hard. Her back arched and she stretched her arms above her head. I kissed down her neck towards her cleavage, then ran my hand over her ribs. After kissing my way across her collarbone, I stopped to catch my breath. She opened her eyes. The expression on my face, whatever it was, made her smile before she removed her bra and moved my hand down between her legs. I ran my fingers over the silky fabric and slid her underwear down. “Sit up,” she whispered and moved to straddle my lap.

The condoms Cole gave me were in my jeans on the floor, but she didn’t ask me to wear one, so I moved my hands and rocked her hips forward. She leaned her head over my shoulder. Her breath tickled my skin, becoming heavier and faster as she moved up and down. My left hand slid over her curves and she dug her fingers into my neck. She was going too fast, so I held her hips and slowed her down to let her feel the difference between the back and forth rise of riding a horse versus the rock and roll grind of riding a bull.

When she got the hang of it, the expression on her face changed and her breaths turned into soft moans. She pressed her palms against my shoulders and leaned her head back. The visual of her hair cascading down her back and her chest rising made every cell in my body react. Her moans got progressively louder as I explored her body with my mouth. She bounced for a while then curled forward, tensed up, and held her breath. Her body shuddered before she let out a little whimper. After two more shudders, she exhaled and slowly rocked her hips.

We sat there for a while just breathing heavily and I already regretted it. Eventually, I pushed her hair back to see if she felt the same way. It didn’t seem like it. She opened her eyes and slid her hands up along my jaw to pull me in close. I felt her exhale before she leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Thank you.”

Feeling guilty, I kissed her and took one more look at her body before I moved out from under her.

Once she was dressed, she held up her hands. “God, I’m trembling. I can still feel that everywhere.” She looked at me. “That was good — really good.”

Without responding, I put my jeans back on and buttoned my shirt.

“I’ve never, um, you know; I’ve never enjoyed it quite like that before. If you know what I mean,” she said.

“Really?” Shit. That was only going to make it worse when she clued in that it wasn’t meant to be anything more than one time in a truck.

“Do all the girls you’ve been with enjoy it like that — to that intensity?”

“As far as I know, unless they were faking.”

“Jesus, you can’t fake something like that.” She combed her fingers through her hair and checked her makeup in the mirror.

I smiled, feeling a little cocky, and put my hat back on.

“Call me.” She gave me a peck on the cheek.

I nodded, although I had no intention of ever seeing her again, and turned the engine on so I could roll down the window to get the windshield to clear up. She hopped out of the truck and ran across the parking lot to a room on the first floor. She fumbled through her purse for the key card, then opened the door. She waved before she went inside. I pressed the defogger button. As I waited for the windows to clear, a girl came out of a second floor room and ran along the veranda to the stairs. When she reached the sidewalk, I noticed that she had strawberry coloured hair.

“Shae-Lynn?” I shouted out the window.

Her head spun to see who had called her name. She was crying. I left the truck engine running and got out.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She wiped her palms across her face. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine. What happened?”

“Nothing. What are you doing here?”

“Dropping someone off.”

“Who? Tawnie?”

I frowned and looked up at the door on the second floor that she came out of. “Is this where Blake is staying?”

“I have to go. Lee-Anne’s going to be worried about me.”

“I’ll drive you.”

“No thanks.” She rushed across the parking lot headed towards the highway.

“Shae-Lynn, get in the truck. I’m not going to let you walk along a pitch black highway.”

She waved her arm over her head in a don’t-worry-about-me way and kept walking. I hopped in the truck and pulled out onto the highway. I drove slowly on the shoulder behind her with my head hanging out the window.

“Leave me alone, Billy.”

“I’m going to drive two kilometres an hour all the way back if you don’t get in the truck.”

She kept walking. A couple cars passed and honked.

“Uh, Shae-Lynn, I’m pretty sure it’s not all that safe for me to be driving like this.”

“Then go,” she snapped.

“I’m not leaving you here, so unless you want to witness me getting killed when a semi-truck rams up my ass, I suggest you get in the truck.”

She stopped and looked up at the sky. After an eighteen-wheeler honked at us, she shook her head in exasperation, then got in the passenger side.

“What happened?” I asked again as I shoulder checked and pulled out into the lane.

“None of your business.”

“Did Blake hurt you?”

She stared out the side window for a while before she mumbled, “No.”

“I’m going to beat the truth out of him if you don’t tell me.”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal. He wanted more from me than I felt like giving, so I left.”

“Didn’t he offer to drive you back?”

She didn’t answer.

“What an asshole. I’m going to beat his ass.”

“I didn’t give him a chance to offer to give me a ride. I just left.”

“I didn’t see him running after you.”

She shook her head, unimpressed. “What kind of guy expects a girl will sleep with him after one date? A girl doesn’t do that unless she is a complete slut. You know that, right?”

I glanced at her and gripped the steering wheel, wondering if she saw right through me and already knew what I’d done with Tawnie.

“Why would he even think I was like that?”

“He was just hoping you were. You did go back to his room with him.”

“So? He said we were going to watch a movie.” She glared at me and her lip curled. “You think it’s my fault.”

“No.”

“Is ‘let’s watch a movie’ code for ‘let’s have sex?’”

“No, not necessarily.”

“Do you hope that girls will be slutty enough to sleep with you after just one date?”

I winced, positive that she had already figured it out. What the hell. If she already knew I was a dirt bag, I might as well be honest with her. “If a girl is going to offer sex on the first date, I’m not going to turn it down. But I don’t expect it.”

“Do you ever end up liking the girls who give it away on the first date?”

I knew what the answer was, but I didn’t say anything. My non response obviously confirmed what she already suspected. She sat back and stared out the passenger side window. We drove for a while in silence before I said, “I’ll take care of him.”

“No.” She pointed at me in a threatening way. “I don’t want you talking to him about it.”

“I’m not going to talk to him about it.”

“I don’t want you fighting with him about it either.”

I turned into the arena grounds and drove over the grass field. Most of the participants had left, so there were only a few campers and trailers speckled around.

“I’m serious,” she said. “If you do anything, I will never speak to you again.”

“That’s too bad, but I guess that’s the way it’s going to have to be.”

She groaned and fought to hold back a scream. “Don’t be an asshole, Billy.”

“Making sure Blake knows that it’s not okay to treat you like that doesn’t make me an asshole.”

She stared at me, letting what I said sink in. Her expression fluctuated and I had trouble reading it before she said, “He didn’t do anything wrong. He was just too eager. I want to forget about it. Promise you won’t do anything.”

“What do you care what I do to him? You weren’t even into him in the first place.”

The crease deepened between her eyebrows. “What makes you say that?”

“I could tell.”

“How?”

“I just could. Turns out Cole might actually know as much about women as he claims to.”

She rolled her eyes to disagree. “You guys don’t know anything.”

“So, you did like Blake?”

“No, and I don’t want everyone knowing that I was stupid enough to go to the hotel room with him. It’s embarrassing and it makes me look bad. Please don’t make it into a big deal.” She started crying. “Promise?”

I didn’t like seeing her cry, so I nodded.

“Say it.”

Although Blake needed to be set straight, the hurt tone of her voice was killing me and I wanted to make her feel better, so I gave in. “I promise.”

Satisfied that I’d given her my word, she got out of the truck, swung the door shut, and ran over to the motorhome. There was a little red truck parked in front of our camper, which meant I had no place to sleep. I stretched out on the bench seat and spent the rest of the night thinking about Tawnie, Blake, and Shae-Lynn.

By the morning, the only thing I had figured out was how I was going to handle things with Blake, while still keeping my promise to Shae-Lynn. The door to the camper opened at about six and Cole kissed the curly haired girl goodbye. As she got into her little red truck, I walked over to the camper.

“Hey,” he said, still sounding half asleep. “Did you sleep in the truck?”

“I wouldn’t call it sleeping.” I stepped inside and undressed to take a shower. “You have to drive back to Saskatoon. I’m too tired.”

“I don’t want to go all the way home,” he whined. “Can’t we just go straight to Vancouver Island?”

“I’m not going with you. This was a one time deal.”

He frowned and sat at the dinette. “What happened with Tawnie?”

I leaned on the bathroom doorframe, not intending to answer. “How well do you know Blake?”

He shrugged. “Same as you do. Why?”

“He tried to take advantage of Shae-Lynn and left her to walk home by herself along the highway. I had to pick her up.”

“Is she all right?”

“I don’t know. She wouldn’t really talk about it.”

Cole shook his head and his fingers tightened into fists. I smiled because I knew my plan would work just fine. He glanced out the window in the direction of the Roberts’ motorhome, already plotting to defend her honour. There were a bunch of empty beer bottles on the table in front of him.

“You know you shouldn’t drink when you’re on that medication.”

“I didn’t,” he said as he cleared them off the table. “That chick was a lush.”

“She drank six beers all by herself?”

He smiled the kind of smile that made it hard to stay mad at him. I shook my head, tired of being his babysitter, then closed the bathroom door.

“Hey, you didn’t answer the question about Tawnie,” he shouted through the door.

I turned the water on so I couldn’t hear him.

Chapter 5

Cole drove for the first four hours back to Saskatoon, then we stopped for lunch. He went to the restroom in the restaurant and while I was sitting at the table waiting for the waitress, my phone rang.

“Hey, Mom.”

“You didn’t call yesterday. I was worried.”

“Sorry. We’re fine. Cole didn’t win any prize money.”

“I heard you bought a horse.”

Shit. I had seriously forgotten about that. It hadn’t occurred to me that it was going to be hard to never see Tawnie again if she was taking care of my damn horse. I rubbed the stress in my neck, cursing the rodeo gossip grape vine that worked at the speed of light. “How’d you hear that?”

“Doreen Roberts called yesterday. She’d been talking to Lee-Anne, so I got the whole story. What are you going to do with a horse?”

“I don’t know. She’s fast though. I can probably resell her for a profit if she does well in the next couple competitions.”

“Why don’t you get Shae to ride her? She’s better than that other girl.”

It was a good idea, but she’d never go for it. “Shae-Lynn’s got Harley.”

“How are those little Roberts girls doing?”

“Well, they’re not so little anymore.”

“I hope you’re keeping an eye on them around all those rowdy cowboys now that their mom’s not with them. Their dad doesn’t even know they’re touring.”

“They’re fine.”

“How’s your brother?”

I looked up and saw him coming back from the restroom. “He’s right here. You can talk to him yourself. Love you.” I handed the phone to Cole as he sat down across from me at the table.

“Hey, Ma.” He took his hat off and scratched his head as he listened to her. “Tell them to reschedule it…Why can’t they do it earlier?…I don’t care if that’s the only time the psychiatrist is available. I’m already registered for Luxton… I’ve been fine in case you hadn’t noticed…Whatever.” He sat back and slouched down. “No… It’s a waste of time…” He rolled his eyes and sat back up to lean his elbows on the table. “Listen, Mom, I know you’re just trying to help, but I’m twenty-two years old. I don’t need my mom confirming doctor’s appointments for me — especially when I’m not sick.” He shook his head while he listened. She talked for a long time then he said, “Yeah. Bye.” He hung up and handed the phone back to me. “Why’d you do that? You know I hate talking to her about that kind of stuff. Now I’m upset.” He stood, put his hat on, and left the restaurant.

I ate by myself to give him time to cool off. Then I ordered him a clubhouse sandwich and took it back to the truck. He was sitting in the passenger seat with earphones in, so I climbed into the driver’s seat and headed towards the Saskatchewan border.

I worked my ass off once we were back in Saskatoon — on the ranch six days a week and bartending most evenings. On the Tuesday before Cole was supposed to leave for the Luxton rodeo, he showed up at the ranch as I was coming off shift. The owner’s fifteen-year-old son wanted to get on the circuit, so Cole and a couple other local riders were allowed to ride the rough stock whenever they wanted in exchange for giving the kid a few pointers.

“You want me to go with you to that hospital meeting tomorrow?” I asked.

He reached over the side of the truck bed to grab his bull rope. “Nope. I’m not going.”

“Why not? Just tell them you’re doing fine and be done with it.”

“Mind your business, Billy.”

“Mind your business, asshole.” I turned to walk to my truck.

“We’re practicing on Wide Load today.” His tone changed the way it always did when he wanted something from me. “You want to stay and coach?”

“No.”

“Come on, you’re the only one who has ever ridden him.”

“I’m retired.”

“If you get on a bull I’ll go to the meeting tomorrow.”

I shook my head, not interested in his manipulation, and kept walking. “I have to get to the bar.”

The Palomino was already busy when I got to work. The owner was helping the servers, so I picked up the slack. At about ten o’clock, a girl leaned her elbows onto the bar and squeezed her arms to accentuate her cleavage. It caught my attention. When I looked up at her face, I realized I knew her. Although she and Lee-Anne were best friends because they spent so much time on the road with each other, I’d technically known Rochelle for longer. We’d been in the same class every year since kindergarten. She never liked me all that much. “Hey, Rochelle. That is a very nice top you’re wearing.”

“Shut up.”

I smiled and slid her a vodka cooler on the house. “You’re always so mean to me. Remind me why that is.”

“Grade nine. We had to do a presentation on our hobbies. You did yours on bull riding. Dean Kline asked if you were ever scared. You said no, because whenever you got nervous about falling off you would imagine landing on two giant soft pillows like Rochelle’s.”

I chuckled as I remembered. “That was funny. Get over it.”

“It wasn’t funny, you jackass. It was humiliating.”

“Why? It was a compliment.”

“I was fourteen. Having boys only pay attention to me because of the size of my chest was embarrassing. It made me self-conscious.”

“For your information, the teacher gave me a zero on that presentation and,” I pointed at her impressive cleavage overflowing her low cut top, “You’re obviously not self-conscious anymore.”

“Shut up. I’m not here to discuss my emotional scars. I’m here because someone wanted me to deliver a message to you.”

I poured a mixed drink for the guy who was standing beside her. I took his money then turned to look at her. “Who’s that someone?”

She slid an envelope across the bar. It had my name written across it in curly writing. I handed two beers to a guy and took his money, then flipped the envelope over and opened it. Rochelle scrutinized my face as I read the note.

Billy, Here is your cut from my first win on Stella. She’s doing great. Thanks again for letting me ride her. I guess you’ve been too busy to call, but I just wanted to let you know that I can’t stop thinking about you, or our night in Coleman. I’d really love to see you again, Tawnie.

Rochelle was still watching me to see how I was going to react, so I tried to not show any expression. I put the note in my back pocket and served a few more customers. Her second drink was done before I was able to get back to her.

“Do you have a message you’d like me to pass on to her?” she asked.

“No. Thanks.”

Her eyebrows angled. “Why haven’t you called her? Were you just using her?”

“No offence, Rochelle, but it’s not really any of your business.”

“Well, it kind of is when she calls me crying every night upset because you haven’t called her.”

A guy was shouting an order at me, but I ignored him. “What’s she crying about?”

“She likes you, obviously. Girls don’t do what she did with you in a truck unless they really like a guy. You know that, right?”

I rolled my eyes, not surprised that even the women weren’t clear with what meant what, and I shook my head because obviously there was no such thing as privacy on the circuit. “I can’t believe she told you that.”

Rochelle made her eyebrows dance up and down. “Apparently you’re quite something.”

“Shit.” I turned around and pulled two cases of beer from the cupboard to restock the bar. When I turned back around, an older guy who was already pretty gunned was leaning with his arm over Rochelle’s shoulder and talking too close to her face.

I couldn’t hear what he was mumbling, but she said, “No thanks,” and pushed his arm away.

He went in for another sloppy hug and was trying to cop a feel, so I reached over the bar and shoved him. “Why don’t you go sit down, buddy?”

He stumbled back a little and frowned at me. “What’s your problem?”

“She said no. You need to go sit down.”

He stared me down for a few seconds, but must have realized he couldn’t take me. He flipped me the bird and staggered away.

Rochelle took a sip of her vodka cooler. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

She checked the time on her phone. “I need to get going.” She closed her purse. “Just so you know, Tawnie is really sweet and she’s coming off a bad break-up. I realize you’re not really the boyfriend type, but it would be good if you could at least be nice to her. I don’t want her to end up feeling like a worthless piece of shit.”

“I’ll call her.”

“Good man. I’ll see you around.” She stood and started to walk away.

“Hey, Rochelle.”

She paused and looked over her shoulder.

“I’m trying to be a better person, so I would like to apologize for hurting your feelings when we were in junior high.”

She turned to face me, tilted her head to the side, and closed one eye as if she was contemplating something. After a while, she said, “All right. I forgive you.”

“Thank you.” I winked. “But you do have to admit you have the nicest rack in town.”

She shook her head in disappointment. “Geez Billy. Why did you have to go and ruin a perfectly good truce?”

I shrugged in mock innocence. “It would feel weird if you didn’t treat me like I was an asshole.”

“Yeah, that would feel weird.” She chuckled, then left.

The bar closed at two and I didn’t get out of there until closer to two-thirty. I drove back to my mom’s house and sat in my truck looking at my phone. I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Finally, I took a deep breath and scrolled through my contacts to find Tawnie’s number. Before I had a chance to call her, my phone rang. The call display showed, Shae-Lynn’s name, so I answered. She was crying.

“What’s wrong?”

She had to inhale a couple times before she was able to speak through her crying, “My mom and dad were in an accident.”

“Are they all right?”

“My mom’s in the hospital with a concussion and a broken arm. My dad just has cuts and bruises. They’re fine, but the trailer rolled and they had to put two of the horses down.” She started sobbing heavier.

I didn’t know what to say, so I just sat there listening to her cry.

Eventually, she calmed down a little and sniffled. “I’m sorry to call you so late, but I really needed someone to talk to. You’re the only person I thought might still be awake. I’m sorry if you were sleeping.”

“I was awake. Where’s Lee-Anne?”

“She got on a plane to meet them down in Texas. I had to stay here to take care of the animals. It’s really quiet in the house when nobody else is here.”

“You mean scary?” I chuckled. “Do you want me to come over to keep you company?”

“Yeah, would you?” She sounded as if a smile had crossed her lips. “It’s only a seven-and-a-half hour drive.”

“Okay.”

She paused as if she was worried I would really do it. “I was joking.”

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