The High Street Bride’s Guide

Samantha Birch

A division of HarperCollinsPublishers

www.harpercollins.co.uk

Contents

Samantha Birch

Dedication

Chapter 1: The Basics The best ways I know to save big

Chapter 2: The Venue Eat, drink and be merry for less

Chapter 3: The Dress Designer, high-street or affordable W-day brand – you can afford your dream gown

Chapter 4: The Groom Truss up your man without emptying his wallet

Chapter 5: Bridesmaids & Best Men Your grown-up entourage gets gorgeous – on budget

Chapter 6: Pageboys & Flower Girls Turn them into little angels for heavenly prices

Chapter 7: Shoes & Accessories Put your best foot forward, but don’t pay top dollar

Chapter 8: Hair & Beauty Putting your face on needn’t cost an arm and a leg

Chapter 9: The Rings Just because it’s preciousss doesn’t mean you should be out of pocket

Chapter 10: The Cake Luscious layers that won’t pile on the pounds

Chapter 11: The Flowers Blooming good deals on everything from bouquets to buttonholes

Chapter 12: The Entertainment All that jazz. . . but not for all those pennies

Chapter 13: The Photography Happy snaps at prices to smile about

Chapter 14: The Stationery Paper prettiness that doesn’t cost folding money

Chapter 15: Style Details Little bits and pieces with teeny-tiny price tags

Chapter 16: Inspiration Now you know the numbers, go forth and get your ideas on

About HarperImpulse

Copyright

About the Publisher

Samantha Birch

So far I’m the author of one book. This one. I’ve written about dresses, bridesmaids and cake toppers for magazines such as Brides and You & Your Wedding, and regularly contribute to the likes of GLAMOUR and Love Baking – often while eating cake in my pyjamas.

I live with my husband in a chaotically untidy flat in Letchworth, which I pretend is an artfully unkempt writer’s loft in St. Albans.

For wedding advice, handy tips or general chat about all things bridal follow me @SamBirchWriter or @HighStreetBride!

To Darren, for our life together.

Chapter 1

The Basics

The best ways I know to save big

I love giving people good news. That’s probably why this is my favourite bit. Because this is where I tell you that an amazing wedding – yes, designer dress included – isn’t just for actresses and heiresses.

You can say your vows in a catwalk gown so beautiful it reduces your mum to tears (and not because she paid for it). You can style a reception so stunning your guests won’t believe you didn’t hire an A-list planner. And you can sprinkle the day with personal touches that make everyone feel like you gave them special attention before they even got there. Without spending a house deposit on it. Honest.

All you need is to be a little more savvy, a little more organised and a little more open-minded than your average pop princess. And that’s not too much to ask for a beautiful day you’ll show pictures of to your granddaughters, right?

The Golden Rules

There are four top secrets to saving money on your wedding – and I’m not suggesting you go for all of them. Some of them won’t be for you, and some of them don’t go together, but if you can even manage one or two, in all honesty, these are the biggest, simplest ways to save the maximum amount of money before you even start planning.

1. ’Tis the Season

Summer weddings are the most expensive. Fact. Everybody wants one because you’ve got more chance of sunshine – but you’ll pay hundreds of pounds more to get hitched in the warmer months, and since we live in good old Blighty, chances are the heavens could open on you anyway.

So consider the overlooked options: pretty spring with its freshly sprung flowers and vintage-y golden lighting; autumn with its colourful rush of auburns, oranges, yellows, reds and golds; or winter – my personal favourite for the excuse to cover everything in glass and glitter, bright reds and sparkling silvers, and wrap up in cuddly faux fur. Because who cares if, baby, it’s cold outside and the rain is pouring down when you’re posing under a super-cute brolly or huddled round a crackling fire with a toasty mug of rum and hot chocolate?

2. Monday’s Child is Full of Grace

I’ll give you one guess which day of the week is most popular for weddings. Ding ding ding, we have a winner! Saturdays, what a shocker. No-one needs to take any time off work, everyone can sleep off their aching heads on Sunday, and all your little cousins and second cousins can be there because they don’t need to skip Maths, English and Double Geography.

So you can imagine the amount you’ll save by being prepared enough to let everyone know months in advance – I’d suggest 12 months, to be exact – that they’ll need to book some time out instead.

The midweek big day is a cunning budget-stretcher and politics-sidestepper in more ways than one. Think about it: all Mum and Dad’s random friends from work won’t be able to get the time off, for starters. That’s a few scoops off the catering bill, plates and cups off the hire price, favours off the list and chairs that don’t need covering – carry on at this rate and you’ll be able to book a smaller venue…

3. Three Hundred’s a Crowd

You can do this. I believe in you. Don’t let fear hold you back and other supportive clichés. Because cutting the guest list is a task so stressful that many a smart, savvy bride has buckled under the pressure, but just look back at tip number two if you’ve ever even thought it’s not worth keeping your numbers under control. And that’s just the start of the savings: there are the invites and orders of service, wine during the photos and wedding breakfast, champers for the toasts and then some. But here comes the good news again: there are ways of keeping your total as svelte as a runway poser without putting everybody’s noses out of joint.

Elope. Seriously. If both of your friends and family won’t kill you, hotfoot it off to Gretna Green and get the job done right now. No? Okay, so you wouldn’t need this book if running away together was really on the cards, but now we’re agreed that there are going to be more than three or four of you, that means there will come a time when you have to look closely at who’s fattening your list up. Guess what? It’s now.

If it’s work people who are ballooning your invitees, opt for the friends and family wedding. Tell them you’re envisioning an intimate day with parents, siblings and friends you’ve had since you were nine, and then go and make it happen. If more and more friends and family push their way onto the list as the wedding develops, there’s no need to keep it a secret – just make sure your colleagues feel like the good guys for not adding to your stress levels.

Have you been to three weddings a year for the last decade, and now ended up with 60 happily married people on your list who you never see? Don’t make yours a ‘payback’ wedding – and the same goes for friends you haven’t heard from in ages. Take a deep breath, and be realistic: there are no hard and fast rules, but don’t be afraid to admit to yourself which friends and couples have drifted out of your life and probably won’t be in touch after your nuptials.

Think about it: if you really want to reconnect with people who have been out of your life for years, is a day when you’re going to be flitting from table to table for thirty seconds at a time really the best way? Or would you be better off calling them up for a visit a couple of months after the honeymoon, when the dust has settled?

4. Give it a Whirlwind

Don’t even think about this one if you’re not good under pressure. Do consider it if you’re looking for a way out of the giant wedding you and your other half never wanted. Presenting the whirlwind wedding: getting married in six months or less – often in under three months. Depending on your venue, you may find that offering to plan your day in next to no time saves you hundreds of pounds.

The pluses: you’ll be married (hooray!) and you’ll have to be decisive. If you panic when given too many options and have a tendency to drag decisions out, this is one way to make sure you both say ‘yes’ more often than ‘maybe…’. You’ll also find a lot of venues that offer whirlwind packages are happy to hook you up with an in-house planner at no extra charge – and they can help you with the likes of recommended local suppliers. Your package may even include things like basic stationery, chair covers and a master of ceremonies too, so there should at least be a little less on your plate.

The minuses: you’ve got to have a seriously open mind to pull this off. Unless you’re going for an intimate wedding, there’s a good chance not all your guests will be able to make it at short notice. Also, the band or DJ you’ve had your heart set on might turn out to have been booked up months in advance – and, *gulp*, most wedding dress shops prefer six months minimum to order, fit and adjust your dress. So your choices on a few things could be limited – but as you’ll see in the coming chapters, there’s more than one way to find everything you’re looking for.

Negotiating for Dummies

Come on, get out from behind the sofa – soft furnishings won’t protect you from the fact that there’s some bartering to be done. If you want to save maximum money without sacrificing style, that is – and let’s be honest, that’s why you’re here isn’t it? But trust me, this isn’t a quick-fire ‘going, going, gone’ scenario, and no-one’s going to bump up your bid if you scratch your nose – you can take your time, mull every offer over and apply as much or as little pressure as you’re comfy with. And not only do you not have to look your opponent in the eye, you don’t even have to meet them.

We only paid full price for about four things for our whole big day, and I didn’t even have to pick up the phone to make the other prices plummet. For me, email is king. You may have noticed that I’m at home with a keyboard – definitely more so than a high-pressure sales call – so I used my way with the printed word to my advantage. Pick your weapon of choice – email, phone or face-to-face – and work in the way that suits you. But bear in mind these handy hints as you do:

Do Your Research

Know the industry-standard prices for the area you’re into – read super-handy guidebooks (ahem, ’hem) and Google local hairdressers/beauticians/cake makers etc. to get rough prices, high and low, so you know when you’re being swindled. Okay, so the stuff at the lower end of the scale might not be up to scratch – maybe the icing on those cupcakes is a little lobsided or everyone comes out of that hairdresser looking like the Cookie Monster, whether they want to or not, but that’s irrelevant, because you’re not going to let the corner-cutting types near your wedding. You’re just going to use the fact that they exist to make it cheaper.

Know Your Supplier’s Status

Now you know your numbers, contact a handful of your preferred suppliers. These are the guys you really would want at your W-day. Explain your big-day using details that will make a difference to them: it’s off-peak, it’s on a weekday, it’s a last-minute thing, you only need them for a couple of hours and not the usual full day, you have a million people coming (and this could be their chance to bake a million cookies…) – all of these affect them. If their books are looking empty for the next two months and you’re offering them a job, they’re likely to take it at less than their usual rate. If you want them on a Wednesday when they’d normally be twiddling their thumbs, they’re more likely to jump at the chance for some extra moolah, even if it’s not as much as they’d get on a Saturday. Explain that you’re not flush and you’re getting quotes from a few places – competition can only be a good thing – then ask them for their best price.

Photographers are a specialist area: they get their names out there via wedding magazines and blogs, and both of those want original, quirky weddings with a lot of personal details, so – and this won’t be the last time I say this – Describe. Your. Day. That’ll get your very-visual snapper on-side with the whole idea of shooting your totally awesome theme, not to mention getting the press potential popping up in front of their peepers. And the more they want the job, the more they’ll be willing to bargain with you.

Keep an Open Mind

The truth: you might not get your #1 dream supplier at your can-it-really-be-real price. But you are likely to get someone similar for a number that’s not too much of a stretch. How? In one of three ways:

A few of the suppliers you contacted come back with good discounts. Dive right in to your favourite, take them at the price they’ve quoted and you’re away.

Only one or two of them can offer you any kind of discount, and it’s not as much as you’d hoped for. This is where those nightmare low-priced, wonky, blue-haired suppliers come in. Quote one of the low-par prices, saying this is what you can get your preferred supplier’s service for, and see if they can match it or at least get any closer to it. Hooray – higher-quality supplies/service for lower-quality rates!

If no-one can offer you a reasonable discount, one option is to decide whether to ditch said supply altogether – how much do you really want chair covers? – while the other route is to ask for recommendations. Most good businesspeople know the competition, and will have done their own price research. They’ll be able to put you in touch with competitors who offer a similar or slightly lesser service (like someone talented without the experience to prove it) at a less expensive price than theirs. And that gives you a lower price point from which to get the whole negotiating process going again with the new name.

It’s seriously that simple. Admittedly it might be tougher if you’ve found somebody seriously niche – no-one was budging on the price of the three-foot-high light-up ‘love’ sign we wanted, since you don’t exactly see those every day – but as long as there’s competition for what you’re after (there are always plenty of bakers, hairdressers, make-up artists and photographers), there’s going to be room for monetary manoeuvre. Just try it.

Chapter 2

The Venue

Eat, drink and be merry for less

I’m starting here because this is likely to be your biggest outlay. Between hiring the place, getting your registrar over and feeding and watering everybody, it’s one part of your day that can quickly pile on the pounds.

Before You Start

If you haven’t read my golden rules back in The Basics, now’s the time do it – trust me, not-so big spender, they’re absolutely worth it. Once you’ve decided whether to go off-season, get hitched on a weekday, keep your guest list trim or get married in three months flat, then we’ll talk.

You Little Fibber

It’s a sad fact that the word ‘wedding’ sounds like ‘kerching!’ in the minds of some venues and suppliers – they know you’re planning the perfect day, and they think you’ll sell your car to pay for it. An industry tip that gets bandied around is to tell them you’re planning a ‘family party’ – and it can work, too, if you’ve got the nerve to stick to it.

When I first started planning my big day, I chickened out and owned up – worried that they’d try and stick me with a big bill when I turned up in a white dress – but the experience was an eye-opener that might make you think twice about being quite so forthcoming.

Here’s how my little tale of woe went: I found a beautiful venue online and emailed them asking what it would cost to hire a room, have a barbecue for about 100 people and bring in a DJ for dancing later. I said it was a ‘family party’ since the plan was to have my ceremony and all the actual matrimonial stuff at the registry office, then rock up there later.

Back came the chirpy reply from an enthusiastic salesperson, attaching reams of barbecue menus and quoting me a fee our budget liked. Ecstatic, we called her up, agreed to come and see the place and what do you know? There we were in the entrance hall a few days later. And that’s where it happened: she asked me what kind of ‘family party’ I was having, and I cracked: “Well it’s a wedding reception, but it’s just the party, not the ceremony or anything.”

Before I could blink she’d told me that they couldn’t do barbecues for weddings, only three-course meals, and that we couldn’t have the room we wanted – funnily enough the only ones we could now have were more expensive.

Why? I didn’t have to have a room that was certified for weddings – we’d already have had the ceremony before we got there. And I wasn’t changing the plan for the party one iota – we didn’t want posh chops on the BBQ or some kind of lovey-dovey wedding DJ. That didn’t seem to matter though – she was changing it, in no uncertain terms, and it was going to cost us – wait for it – double.

So it’s up to you if you’ve got the guts to try your luck – and if you do, make sure you read your contract carefully. Also keep in mind that this won’t fly if you’re planning to accost the registrar and turn up in your room of choice – it has to be certified if you want it for your ceremony.

But if you can get it away with it, you could end up having your reception somewhere you never really thought you could afford, and just the way you like it – not to mention that if they’re anything like our lot was, you could be getting it for half their normal nuptial rate.

Flexi Time

If you’re stuck on a traditional wedding venue – the country house, the big hotel – you’re going to have to be smart or it’s going to cost you. And even then, there will still be some sky-high hire prices or required bedroom rentals that will take certain venues out of the running. Wherever you get married, though, there are, as always, a few general rules that could help you keep the costs down.

The Ceremony

Let me say right from the start that you’ll almost always pay more to have your ceremony at your reception venue. You’ll generally pay over the odds to have a registrar come out to you to start with, and then you’ve got to tack on a cost of room hire that usually blows the registry office’s out of the water. Sundays and Bank Holidays are the most expensive wherever you walk down the aisle, but even midweek nuptials can be as much as twice the registry office price if you want your registrar off-site.

Do the numbers, but unless your reception venue is out in the sticks, even if you have to hop in your dad’s car or pre-book a taxi to get you from ‘I do’ to ‘woohoo!’ it’s likely to work out cheaper than doing it all in one place – and believe me, no-one will notice what car you arrive in now the Prosecco’s out and rings are on fingers.

The Reception

If you manage to find a place that comes in within budget and you’ve got the time to suss them out, don’t sign anything until you can tell whether they’re flexible. There are all sorts of ways to save on your reception as long as you can get your go-between to go for it.

Culinary Expertise

The three-course, sit-down meal is the most expensive way to feed your five thousand, hands down. Yes, it suits a formal gathering, and silver service always feels special, but weigh up how much you need it when it can be two or three times more than some other options.

If you have to have it, though, be clever: ask if you can serve your canapés as starters with the pre-reception drinks, or, if you really want to stay on your venue’s good side, they tend to prefer it if you opt for the wedding cake instead of dessert.

One option that’s similarly genteel, super-popular and certainly worth asking your venue about is the classic afternoon tea. Bottles of pop and pots of chai are immediately cheaper than wine, wine, wine – but a Prohibition-era theme could see to that if you still want to serve some bubbly. Then there are the snacks themselves – a few finger sandwiches, satisfyingly stodgy scones with clotted cream and pretty cakes won’t set you back nearly as much as tomato soup followed by the customary dried chicken and chocolate mousse that everyone pushes around to save room for cake.

In summer, a barbecue is a fun option, and only requires minimal staffing on the venue’s part. The winter equivalent is the hog roast – not so easy on the eyes maybe, but there’ll be no complaints from your guests’ satisfied stomachs. And before you ask, yes, you can get vegetarian options – just ask your venue what they can do.

Buffets are the usual antidote to all the pomp and circumstance of the post-speech feed-with-servants, and just like the BBQ and hog roast, having people queue for their food doesn’t mean you can’t have all the fun of a seating plan – if anything, it gives those single ushers and maids something to chat about before they find their tables.

Not all buffets were made equal, though – there are a few different ways that you can do this. First up: a very British classic. This is your traditional buffet – all triangle sarnies, cocktail sausages and little pieces of cheese and pineapple on sticks. Beef it up with the likes of pizza slices and Indian or Chinese snack selections – and add some jelly and ice-cream if it’s not too hot for a touch of retro fun.

Second, if your venue is the kind where you supply your own caterers, talk to them about something a bit different, or pull it together yourself. Sweetie tables have been big for a while now and aren’t showing any signs of going anywhere. They’re literally pretty tables spread with Cath Kidston-esque linen, glass jars filled with sweets and maybe a few cakes – we used our wedding cake as the centrepiece. Seriously, think how easy it would be to nab some containers (save, hire or buy from your local ASDA or Wilkinson), then raid your local pick ‘n’ mix (we miss you, Woolworths!) or snap up grab-bags of your fave sweets and go fill ’em up.

On a similar theme – but requiring more input from your caterers, who will love your ingenuity – ‘build-your-own’ bars are popping up all over the place. Featuring everything from top-your-own jacket potatoes or ice creams to fill-your-own fajitas, brainstorm fave foods with your groom and go from there. Anyone for stack-your-own sandwich with baguettes, cobs and rolls, or build-a-burger with different meats, veggie bean patties, relish and sauces?

Finally, if you’ve got chefs among your rellies who are vying for a part in proceedings, make the most of their talents instead of padding out your ceremony with a million readings. You can specify your favourite eats or just allocate some cooks sweets and some savouries, then have each one bring a labelled dish – preferably one that can be served cold unless your venue doesn’t mind you using their ovens – along with serving utensils so everyone can dig in on the day. Now that’s what I call a family feast.

Bottle It

Drinkies are a sizeable cost that you two don’t have to carry alone – it’s not uncommon for couples to put in for a drink or two per guest before the wedding breakfast, a drink or two during and a glass of bubbly for the toasts, then open up the bar for the rest of the night and let everybody pay for their own.

Keep costs down by talking corkage with your venue and bringing your own bottles, or opting for less expensive beverages like house wine, and clinking glasses with Prosecco or Buck’s Fizz over straight champers. You could even wheel out your own big-day punch or cocktail – just make it with more juices than alcohol and stick to the affordable stuff.

Little Extras

We’ll get into this in the Style Details chapter, but for now I’ll just say that you need to keep an eye out for what’s included with your wedding package. Some venues will throw in tidbits like pretty chair covers – great if you can get them, but the question is, do you really want them? Unless their seating really ruins your theme or is all-out supremely hideous, at around £3 to £5 per chair on average, that’s another £300 to £500 for 100 people. Before you put your John (or Joanne) Hancock on anything, talk about ditching the bonus bits and trimming down the bottom line.

The same goes for stationery. It’s common for an all-in package to include bits like menus and place names. Ask to see samples, and find out how much of your quote they’ll be setting you back. If they do the job and they’re easy on your margins, go with them by all means, but scout out local printers beforehand to check you couldn’t get them cheaper – and more personalised – yourself.

Then there’s VAT. It’s not uncommon for venues to quote an off-their-head price that sounds spectacular until you realise they’re not counting the tax. Be clear on whether it’s included or you could end up with a bumper bill that’s due the week before your big day.

Beyond the Norm

If you’re open to suggestions for your reception venue, or you’re looking for somewhere quirky and so you, there are ways to nigh-on cancel all your hire costs. Remember: as long as you do the legal bit in a certified room or registry office, you can do the rest wherever you want.

At one particularly lovely wedding I went to, the bride and groom had the ceremony the week before, then on the day the bride’s dad acted as registrar. He read some of his own words while the bride and groom exchanged rings and said how they really felt in front of close friends and family. In case you’re wondering: not a dry eye in the house.

Whether you have the ceremony on the day or a more intimate get-together just before then, doing the ‘I do’s’ separately to dancing the night away blows your venue options wide open.

The Grand Theme of Things

So we’ve established that you can hold your reception wherever you want once the papers are signed – and that means a friend’s house or back garden if you happen to know someone with plenty of space, and even more patience. Remember though, if you throw your bash at a mate’s place or go with the marquee option you’ll usually have more choice of suppliers, but you have to be prepared to handpick them yourself – and to sort out the cleaning afterwards.

If you’d rather stick someone else with the washing up, don’t forget you can break out your first dance at any party venue. If you’re having trouble finding anything realistic when you Google ‘wedding venues’ in your area, swap in ‘party venues’ and see what happens.

You’d be surprised how many weird and wonderful places regularly set aside rooms for celebrations: aquaria; boats; cinemas – especially indie ones; courts (yes, you read that right); galleries; libraries; museums; sports clubs; theatres; tourist attractions; unis and colleges outside term time; zoos…

But there are even more options beyond those. Sometimes options neither you nor even the owner has ever thought of. At the end of the day, where you hold your do is about where you can negotiate hire of, even if they don’t normally do it.

How about a loft or apartment that’s available for short-term rental? There are all sorts of sites that offer up people’s homes in popular cities such as London or Edinburgh – just check with the homeowner whether it’s okay to bring a fair few friends back.

Then there are photo studios – they’re often up for hire for freelance photographers and can be great if you’re after a real blank canvas. Because they’re often owned by arty types, you can find some amazing buildings with exposed brick or beams for a cool, contemporary backdrop.

Wherever you find yourself, even if they don’t usually hire out to anyone at all, if you like the space and can see it transformed for your big day, what’s the harm in asking? You’ve got the best chance of getting a green light from the manager if you stick to these three simple rules:

1. The Time is Right

When is the place you’re pitching your wedding to likely to have quiet periods, and how can you capitalise on that? If you’re after a summer or weekend wedding, for example, try university or college buildings – they don’t have the student spend while they’re all back home working summer jobs, but you can bring in a few extra bucks.

If you’re happy to go with a weekday wedding, how about a wine bar on a quiet Monday night? Just remember, you’ll have to suss out a good time to get all your decs set up and your entertainment in – many places will let you get them sorted the night before, but check to avoid delays on the day.

2. What’s in it for Them?

If your off-piste venue serves food and drink, agree a minimum spend instead of a hire price. You’re bringing them 100 people who are planning on drinking from mid-afternoon into the night – you shouldn’t have to pay another £1,000 for the privilege. If they’re not that kind of outfit, it’s time to talk about hire prices. Shocking fact: these are likely to be lower in slow periods and higher in busy ones – well I never.

Alternatively, if they’re a smaller business, think about whether there’s a skill you can offer them – filmmakers, photographers or writers could do recordings, shots or copy for their PR purposes. Bloggers or tweeters with a decent following could promote or review them. It doesn’t even have to be you – maybe a willing family member could offer their services as your wedding present.

Whatever you agree on though, make sure you’re covered. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: ensure VAT is included in the price you’re quoted, and make sure you get yourself a contract in writing.

3. It’s Not the Size, It’s What You Do With It

This is just one reason why the size of your guest list counts: it alters your venue-spotting strategy. The best way to pin down an unusual place? Look for venues with that all-important separate hire space.

Let’s take restaurants as an example. If you’ve got a super-size group of, say, more than 100, you can try your luck with asking to hire out the whole place, but in some cases you’ll find they want you to cover the cost of all the custom they’d have got in and out of the door over the periods you want them for. That can mean – and I’d sit down here if I were you – as much as £10,000 or more if you want to hire them over lunch and dinner. For guest lists of that size, you’re better off looking at a bigger building to start off with – somewhere like a university that’s built for large numbers of people, and will have a big enough room just idly going spare.

Let’s call a medium group between 40 and 100. For this sort of size you’ve got the chance to downsize to the type of medium-to-small place that has a spare floor. Leaving downstairs free for other customers to come and go as they please means you won’t have to cover the costs of what they’d usually eat or drink, and places that haven’t been hired out for weddings before will be keener to help you if they don’t have to turn away regulars.

If you can keep your numbers intimate – in some cases as small as 10 or 15, or up to 50 to 70 if you’re lucky – you can simply hire a room. Plenty of eateries offer secluded dining areas for private parties where you can celebrate completely undisturbed, and since they rarely charge, an agreement RE food and drink spend should pretty much do the trick.

The only issue with this smallest option is entertainment – check with your venue about whether they’d be happy to clear out tables and chairs for dancing and mingling when you’re done eating, or whether they have the facilities for you to pipe in some of your own playlists. If not, can you bring your iPod and hook it up to a set of speakers? Or maybe you’ve got an unexpected way to while away the time in mind – stand-up comedy, close-up magic or a silhouette artist and some good old-fashioned conversation, anyone? Check out the Entertainment section for more ideas.

Crucial Money-Saving Questions

Take this check-list along to your venue and make sure you save maximum monies.

1. If we were to hold our wedding here in the next three months/on a weekday/off-peak, say, in winter, what discount could you offer us on the standard rate?

2. Is it possible for us to bring in our own food or caterers?

3. If not, what dining options do you offer besides the three-course wedding breakfast? Is it possible to substitute that for a buffet/barbecue/hog roast/afternoon tea?

4. If not, could we serve the canapés in place of our starter, or our wedding cake in place of dessert?

5. Would you be averse to us setting up our own additional sweetie/potato/sandwich bar before the wedding breakfast/as the wedding breakfast/later in the evening?

6. Is it possible for us to bring in our own drinks, and if so, what do you charge for corkage?

7. If not, what would our costs per head look like if we served house wine instead of the more expensive selections, and Prosecco/Buck’s Fizz instead of champagne?

8. What is included with our package? Is it possible to remove the stationery/chair covers/other smaller details and reduce the price?

9. Do you have the facilities for us to use an iPod or other MP3 player for music later in the evening, or would we need to bring in a band/DJ?

10. Do you have a list of preferred suppliers who might be willing to offer us a preferential rate if we book with you?

11. Is VAT included with all the costs you’ve quoted?

Chapter 3

The Dress

Designer, high-street or affordable W-day brand – you can afford your dream gown

If you’ve ever stood in front of a full-length bridal shop mirror, all clipped and pulled in all the right places, with your mum, sister and best friends nodding encouragingly as you gaze at the perfect fit of your dream dress, then unless you’re reading this section for a bit of fun I’m guessing you know the heartbreak of being handed that tiny bit of paper with more noughts on than a Stateside catwalk.

But hold back the tears, ladies. You can feel that beautiful again. In a dress that’s actually in your price range this time. It might be a dress with a designer label in the back of it, or one you’ve just been handed by the seamstress who stitched it to your exact measurements. It might arrive at your door hand-delivered and wrapped in tissue paper, or you might find it the traditional way – jumping up and down in your friendly neighbourhood bridal boutique.

There are plenty of ways to look amazing on your big day without selling your engagement ring to pay for it – all you have to do is keep an open mind, and pick the method that suits you best.

Before You Start

There are a few pointers that apply to almost every place you look for a dress, and they’re worth considering if you want to maximise the luxe without paying out the megabucks.

First, the length. It’s a general trend you’ll notice that shorter gowns tend to be cheaper. Whether it’s just because they use less fabric or because longer wedding dresses are more popular by tradition, if you can get away with a shorter dress – maybe at a low-key registry office wedding, on a summer day, or if a Fifties theme is your cup of tea – you’ll often end up with a totally gorgeous gown for a much more purse-friendly price.

Second, the simplicity. Keeping your dream dress simple opens up more options for how to get hold of it, as you’ll see in the rest of the chapter. But you’ll also find that a clean-cut satin dress that’s not all ruffles, lace and embellishment is often less expensive than something more full-on, even straight off the hanger – and you can understand it: more materials and more labour are needed to get a glitzier gown spot-on, and that’s reflected in the cost.

Third, the colour. White, cream or ivory are of course the most popular swatches for your average I-doer. And yes, there is a difference between the three, as you’ll be told over and over during your dress-shopping escapades. But blush shades have been creeping onto bridal catwalks for years – often light pinks, peaches and lilacs. Wedding maven Vera Wang has even sent dresses in deep reds, browns and black down her catwalk. Going for a shade less travelled is a fantastic way to open up all kinds of doors to a tinier bridalwear budget, as you’ll see below. The question is: do you dare?

The Traditional Route

If you’re finding there’s nothing within your budget in any of the bridal shops, trust me: it’s them, not you. There are a lot of boutiques that stock dresses within a particular price range – £1,500 to £2,500 isn’t uncommon – but there are great designers who pride themselves on creating beautiful bridal gowns at affordable prices.

The trick is to do three things: ask your boutique on the phone what their price range is before you even book the appointment; ask them to only show you dresses within your budget on the day; and know your designers, so you can spot the names that don’t mean uninviting your groom’s whole side of the family.

Prices will vary by individual dress, so it’s still worth asking your boutique to limit what you try on to your preferred numbers, but in general, the below labels create a whole lot of chic styles for around £500 or less.

Alfred Angelo

Most of Alfred Angelo’s gowns are classic or princess. They’re even behind the Disney Fairy Tale Brides Collection – all dresses styled to suit Ariels, Belles, Cinderellas and co. They’re also the place to go if you want to give your white gown a twist: they pride themselves on their Dream in Colour range, where bodices, trains and hemlines come in 50 different shades to tie in with your colour scheme.

David’s Bridal

David’s have been tearing it up on the other side of the Atlantic for yonks – which is why I’m so psyched they’ve finally touched down over here. You’ll hear a lot of talk about these guys – names like Vera Wang and Zac Posen get bandied about since they’ve worked on ‘affordable’ collections with David’s – but keep in mind that what’s a bargain to your average platinum-card-waving follower of designer fashion doesn’t always fit into that bracket for the rest of us.

I’ll level with you: I’ve seen Vera Wang dresses here from £675 – no doubt more-than-nice workmanship if you can get it, and yes, a total steal if you’re used to the £4,000 to £18,000 she’s been known to charge. Last time I looked there were a few Wang gowns here under the £1,000-mark, but they also went up as high as £1,650, so you had to be careful not to have your bank balance stolen as well as your heart.

Mostly for £500-minus you’re better off with the less name-droppy brands. Galina, for one: think elegant full-length gowns in modern-romantic styles; mostly strapless, often lace, always gorgeous. Then there’s the signature David’s Bridal Collection: trad-with-a-touch-of-something looks; the simpler the dress, the more likely to fall under our price range. DB Studio are modern and daring – often going for the short or sophis markets – and I’ve seen prices start as low as £80. Last but not least, David’s Bridal Woman is worth a look for sizes 18 – 30; expect plenty of flattering trad styles and occasional seriously cute retro-chic.

Ellis Bridals

Ellis have been going for more than 100 years, so there’s no doubt they’re doing something right. Again, you can expect a lot of classic cuts – A-line and fuller skirts, lace and sweethearts – but I’ve also seen them put out one or two quirkier styles, including a blush peach look and a Fifties rock ‘n’ roll hemline.

Eternity Bride

Quite a lot of classics here, but some simpler styles thrown into the pot, and a healthy dose of spectacle in black lace and inky blue numbers – plus, there’s even a collection made especially for larger ladies. A real mixed bag, Eternity is likely to be a Marmite experience: some of their dresses will be the opposite of what you’re after, and some you’ll totally love – but it only takes one to get it right.

Impression Bridal

Fans of the ruffle, rejoice! Impression Bridal has them in all cuts, shapes and sizes. There are some slimmer gowns – think sheath with a sexy side split – but for the most part brides who aren’t fans of froth need not apply.

Kitty & Dulcie

Magazine editors are constantly in awe of the price of these super-cute retro- and vintage-style gowns. The capsule collection of Fifties tea dresses and full-length lacy Twenties looks is too gorgeous to betray the price tag – which is generally around £250 and up.

Minna

Not only are Minna dresses a boho bride’s dream come true – think swingy, loose, relaxed styles with lace and tiers, often long-sleeved or off-the-shoulder – they’re by an award-winning designer who’s often splashed across the pages of Elle and Vogue, and they’re all ethical and sustainable. Not that you’d ever guess it to look at them – why aren’t all dresses this heart-warming?

Are you ready for this? Gowns on the site have been known to go for as unbelievably little as… £155!

Pronovias

There’s a real range of prices here, but as a baseline Pronovias bridal gowns tend to start around the £1,000 mark. For a showstopper that’s closer to our £500 ideal, opt for their cocktail dresses in shades such as ivory, blush pink, peach and dusky purple. Expect a variety of styles and shapes that all ooze class and true glamour – think delicate sequin and beadwork, simple satin belts and even striking modern ruffles, mostly in slim or swishy styles.

Pure Bridal

Pure’s small selection covers most of the essential shapes and styles – skirts full and slender, hems above and below the knee, strapless, one-shoulder and halter – and yes, it does it simply and effectively. They even throw in a few wildcards with unusual colouring and appliqués, just for good measure.

Tobi Hannah

Tobi Hannah’s standard collection is seriously retro cool – think knee-length Sixties shifts and Fifties tea dresses with a modern twist. But it’s also that rare thing: a higher hemline at a bigger price – expect to pay about £1,200 to £1,800 a pop. Don’t despair, though – the limited Alive! collection is talking our language: the short and tea length dresses are real one-offs, vary in size from 8 to 20 and are priced around just £600 to £800.

Best for: All sorts of wedding styles, but if you’re a traditional ruffles-and-big-skirt bride in particular, I’d say this is the best route for you.

Sample Sales

If you really have to have a dress by a more expensive bridalwear designer, one way to save as much as 70% is in a sample sale. Most wedding shops have these a couple of times a year, when the dresses they stock for brides-to-be to try on are sold to make way for new collections – but some have ongoing samples for sale, so it’s worth giving stockists of labels you love a quick call to find out.

Depending on the shop, you may need to sharpen your elbows at sale time – some offer appointments, many it’s first come, first served, and occasionally it’s a free-for-all – but you’ll definitely need to be organised, patient and willing to be decisive.

The top tip I can give you? Turn up early. Bribe your maid of honour with coffee if you have to, but being first in line is the number one way to find that dress for hundreds of pounds less. They’re sold as seen, on the spot, so if you’re not at the front of the queue, every bride-to-be who turns up before you could walk away with your dream dress before you even get a look-in.

Bear in mind sizings, too. A lot of boutiques stock samples either in average sizes (10 to 14) or in large ones they can clip and tug smaller on each bride. Occasionally you’ll find ones that sell sixes and eights, but they tend to be less common. While it might seem like a clever plan to buy big and have your dress slimmed down, some styles can lose shape and detailing if they’re tailored too far. Your best bet? Ask the boutique owner before you buy – you might even be able to agree a price for her to fit it for you.

Best for: Brides who have fallen in love with a bridalwear designer who’s out of their price range. Sample sales are especially good for brides of average or larger sizes, but it really depends on what the particular boutique stocks.

High-Street Bridalwear

It might not be as glamorous as a bridal boutique when you’re trying on your wedding dress in the next fitting room to a girl pulling on a pair of jeans, but believe me, it’s worth it – some of the high-street brands we know and love have gone to the trouble to design dresses that really are worth coveting.

I’ll be straight with you: try on a £2,000 Ritva Westenius goddess gown and your high-street dress isn’t going to feel as sumptuous. Meanwhile, if you’re after full-on ruffle-mania you might even do better with a standard bridal boutique. But if you’ve set your sights on a fun, chic style that can be seriously elegant, since these labels often come in at less than £300, you really can’t go wrong.

BHS

Styles are mostly simple and classic with a modern finish. In the past I’ve seen longer and fuller gowns at about £125 to £495, while shorter or simpler gowns – including a Pippa Middleton lookalike with cowl neck – have sold for around £80 to £175. And a little bird tells me you can expect even more affordable dresses from here on in…

Coast

We’ve all drooled over a Coast dress at one time or another, whether it was too expensive for the Christmas party or too elegant to go clubbing in. So why would anyone look down their nose at such a luxe brand when it comes to their wedding? I for one didn’t – full disclosure: this is where I got my wedding dress from.

As you’d expect from a name with a fairly young following, there are those slightly higher-fashion details on these gowns compared to some of the others on our list – they got on board with the origami trend with a sheeny, structured bodice, and the high-front, low-back ruffle skirt has made an appearance, too. Expect to pay somewhere in the region of £115 to £695.

Debenhams

The Debut collection is a good call for empire line and sheath gowns especially, so if you’re looking for something simple and classic – maybe with a high neck or lace cover-up – this could be the place for you. Prices from about £150 to £200 aren’t uncommon, though there’s the occasional £450-er. In the sale shorter styles have been known to go for as little as £35, and longer for less than £90.

Monsoon

Similarly to Coast, Monsoon is on the style pulse – one of their collections even featured not one, but two lilac gowns for the fashion-forward bride. Again, we’re often talking sheaths and empires, so you’ll want trad bridal labels for a fuller gown, but if elegantly understated is the name of the game, Monsoon has got to be a front-runner. Numbers-wise, think around £129 to £399 – but they have been known to do designs for as little as £85.

Phase Eight

On the whole another member of the sheaths and empires brigade, there’s the odd slightly fuller or shorter skirt here – but the thing you’ll get from Phase Eight is that little bit of extra embellishment. Tapework, lace and beading have all featured in their collections, and prices have ranged from about £130 to £750.

T.K. Maxx

There’s been a lot of furore about T.K. Maxx launching a bridalwear department – mostly because in true T.K. style they’re not creating their own dresses, they’re flogging designer ones on the cheap. To be clear, we’re not talking Marc Jacobs or Vivienne Westwood here – the gowns are by a select few names with RRPs up to about the £2,545 bracket, and Maxx pricetags often between around £119.99 and £699.99.

In our price range, think dresses of the fuller, flouncier kind, with skirts running the gamut from ballgown to mermaid and A-line. They’ve also stocked the occasional dramatic twist in ruffled red, as well as slighter cuts with lacy sleeves and elaborate embellishment.

The labels? Look up Annais Bridal, Christian Wu, Dere Kiang, Donna Lee Designs, Hollywood Dreams, House of Wu, Jacquelin Exclusive, Sue Wong and Tracy Connop and you’ll get the idea.

Best for: Mini-budget brides. In traditional wedding world, £500 is considered inexpensive for a bridal gown. In the real world, it’s four or five times more than many of us have ever spent on a dress. Happily though, high-street bridalwear often comes in at under £300, with many shorter styles available for less than half that. And let’s not forget: if you’ve got your eye on something more expensive, it can be worth hanging on for the frequent sales on some brands.

Bride or Bridesmaid?

Remember those gorgeous bridesmaid dresses you saw in that wedding magazine that turned out to be way over budget? I bet they’re not more than you’ve pencilled in for your gown, are they? The thing with maids’ dresses is that they are occasionwear – they’re made with luxury and elegance in mind – but since very few people would pay more than a few hundred pounds per bridesmaid, they’re rarely out of the realms of your bridal budget.

I’m not even suggesting you go for an offbeat colour if that’s not your thing – there are lots of brands that offer their bridesmaid dresses in cream or white. And if you were looking for a simple, cute style anyway, why not save the pennies – after all, it’s not like your guests will be any the wiser.

Here are a few fave bridesmaid brands whose gowns would make for some seriously chic brides – and since most styles are priced at around £100 to £200, they’ll be pretty damn smug too…

Dessy

Simple elegance is what it’s all about at Dessy: swingy chiffon column dresses that wouldn’t look out of place on a far-flung beach, and slinky, sophisticated satin and charmeuse for understated glamour.

If you’ve got an unusual cut in mind – off-the-shoulder, cowl back or asymmetric neckline, for instance – there’s a good chance you’ll find it here, and the same goes for hard-to-get colours. Most gowns are available in ivory or white but if you’re feeling crazy, some styles even come in polka dots and prints – and you can order ‘extra length’ versions if you’re a taller Mrs-to-be.

Impression

Sheer overlays, ruffled necklines and hankie hems make Impression’s bridesmaid range one to watch if you dare to be different on your big day. Many of their looks have a laidback prom or party feel, so if you’re the type of bride who’s known for bucking trends, partying ’til dawn and doing things your own way, this multi-tonal lot – most gowns are available in white – could be the collection for you.

Kelsey Rose

I admit it: I’ve had a thing for Kelsey Rose maids dresses for a while now. In fact, if you ask me, they’re pretty much the height of bridesmaid chic. They’re mostly modern, fitted and – dare I say it – even cool, with a few cute retro-inspired shorter skirts in the mix too. They’re a smart bet for a range of necklines – strapless, one-shoulder, halter – and where ruffles do appear they’re minimalist and finished with contemporary finesse. To top it all off, dresses come in an insane amount of colours, with most styles available in white, ivory and champagne for more trad brides.

Love By Enzoani

Enzoani regularly rock the bridesmaid world with their off-the-wall collections – we’re talking that fierce embellished, coat-cut gown in magenta and their feather-light, breeze-catching daydream in lilac. If you’re after a statement look like no other, this is the label for you – just bear in mind that for the most part you’ll have to sacrifice shade for style: dresses often come in pastels and scene-stealing black, but I wouldn’t set your heart on hard-to-come-by white.

Mori Lee

Their straight-up Bridesmaids collection is usually wall-to-wall floor-length satin and chiffon in sheaths, empires and columns. Most looks come in classic bridal colours and necklines go from romantic sweethearts to off-one-shoulders and halters – in short: floaty beach bride or city sophisticate.

Then there’s the Affairs collection. Styles are normally shorter, lacier and on the whole go for a lot more of a ‘fun and flirty’ vibe, though you can also find versions of some of the Bridesmaids dresses here with hiked hemlines.

The Angelina Faccenda Bridesmaids collection is generally more like the first than the second – expect city-slicker classics along with a few pre-knee cuts, and more chances taken on the detailing side.

In all the Mori Lee collections though, be aware that the few taffeta dresses rarely come in whites, creams or ivories like the chiffon and satin do – instead, be prepared to compromise with something subtle like a gorgeously glowy champagne.

Best for: Barely-there-budget brides. If you haven’t got time to wait for the sales on the high street and your numbers won’t stretch much beyond £100 to £200, downsize your skirt and your outlay – then put your actual bridesmaids in a prettily styled, more low-key jersey number.

Surprisingly Doable Designer

Before I start on this one, let me say that these are not the only designer dresses I’ve got for you – there are lots of other options in a more strictly bridal style in the upcoming section – but I thought it was worth noting that if you’re up for a not-so formal, unconventional get-together, there are both glam and laidback designer looks that are out there for less than you think.

Moschino Cheap and Chic

I’ll be honest: the bridal possibilities here are few and far between – don’t expect floor-length and be prepared to compromise on colour – but in the past I’ve seen a shimmering, cowl-neck, knee-length number that took the lame out of lamé for £509, while a pretty beige, lace look with waist bow made vintage-cute an affordable £407.

Proving beyond a doubt that the name’s a total misnomer though, you’re just as likely to find something in the straightforward Moschino range – I once spotted a wrapover V-neck in creamy crepe for £509, and a pastel-pink ruched boatneck for £446.

Alternatively there’s Love Moschino, where I’ve seen a registry office-perfect long-sleeve, funnel-neck jersey dress for £177, and a relaxed, white lamé-jersey dress with one short sleeve for £229.

Net-a-Porter

If you’re willing to go as high with your hemline as your flavour of fashion, this online mecca could be a port of call. They do stock a bridal range, but unless you’re ready for your credit card to take a battering, I’d steer clear.

Instead, take one of my top tips: narrow your search to dresses, click on the colours you’re happy with – from white, neutral and silver to metallic, gold and pink – and arrange by price, from low to high. Then hold tight to resist temptation: be sure to only browse as far as your budget allows.

If you’re after the all-out, floor-length white designer stunner, this isn’t the way to get it (the next section is), but if you’re looking for something low-key in a cute, Bradshaw-weds-Big registry-office number, this could be for you. The trick is to find the luxe not in the length but the fabric: that short, well-cut look in jersey won’t do it, but in satin-trimmed lace you’re indulgently casual-cute.

Not convinced? Here’s some of the hot stuff I’ve found this way: Malene Birger had a cream, ruffled, mid-thigh lace number up for £310; Anna Sui debuted a daring long-sleeve mesh and satin look that was not for the faint-hearted – or strait-laced mothers-in-law – at £375; Alice + Olivia had me at “hellooo” with a slinky, beach-ready silk maxi for £395; Antik Batik went all ornate and elaborate in a silk blend with cheeky open back for £420; and there was a near-homage to Bradshaw in a Burberry London V-neck, high-shoulder style – just add sheeny bling – for £495.

Harrods and Selfridges are a similar story: more big names’ short dresses in decadent fabrics for £500 and under. Apply the search technique and prepare for some serious knee wobbles!

J.Crew

Yes, some of their bridal gowns are more than £1,000, but if you’re after a short or simply glam ivory style – think columns or sheaths in chiffon, silk or tulle – you’ll still likely spot some picks around the £500-or-less mark. I for one was always a big fan of the floor-skimming boatneck, V-back Corrina and the slinky, square-neck, peekaboo Bettina. Littler brides – like me! – will also love the novelty of several styles actually being available in petite. Buy direct from their website (their wedding section is a do for once), or from the smaller selection over at Net-a-Porter.

Vivenne Westwood Anglomania

If you’re dreaming of a white wedding, walk away now – Viv’s statement, out-there Anglomania collection is for high-fashion brides with a kink in their style. I’ve seen a short-sleeved, knee-length purple number for £435 at Net-a-Porter, while a brocade-print piece with deceptively structured slouchy collar was £345. The collection can also be good for brides who favour the two-piece look – there was a time when you could supply the skirt and Westwood did a romantic red off-the-shoulder top to go with it for £300.

Diane von Furstenberg and Temperley occasionally have the odd short, white, lacy number for under £500, but for the most part the gorgeous gowns outside their out-of-reach bridal collection aren’t so aisle-friendly.

Best for: Laidback, fashion-forward registry office dos. However gorgeous, these looks will get lost in a massive, high-ceilinged or cathedral-type venue, but they’re just right in a more intimate setting, where they’ll let your natural beauty do the talking.

The Designer Showstoppers

Here it is, ladies: exactly what I promised you back in the Basics section. You can walk down the aisle head-to-toe in catwalk names without breaking the bank, if you know where to look for them. And Here. They. Come.

THEOUTNET (theoutnet.com)

I actually can’t get enough of this place. I just can’t get over the gowns you can afford on there thanks to all this up-to-70%-off business. And since they’re the sister site of Net-a-Porter too, you know they’re on the level – not like some of those faceless so-called ‘designer’ online shops.

Many’s the time I’ve daydreamed about festooning the super-simple Minimarket georgette maxi I once saw on there with some serious statement jewellery – not to mention stroking my laptop screen when I first saw the ankle-length Theyskens’ Theory vision in silk that was only £146.

The cool Carven shell dress with twisted neckline for £189 would have been a head-turner at the registry office, too, while the not one but four Notte by Marchesa full-length gowns they had online at the same time – from only £322, by the way – would have owned any aisle.

Did I mention the Stella McCartney super-soft-pink lace dress for informal outdoor occasions? Or what about the the crème de la crème for under £550: a long-sleeve, floor-gracing Amanda Wakeley silk-satin jaw-dropper? That, you’d just damn well build your wedding around.

But my favourite thing to do here? Take the tip from Net-a-Porter and skip the Wedding section in favour of searching by colour and style – the more open-minded the better. I mean let’s be honest, if you’re walking down the aisle in the grey Valentino Roma rosy-lace-smothered dress that was up for less than £600, the black Gianfranco Ferré V-neck that was under £550, the Vivienne Westwood black and blue jacquard-taffeta that was £525, or the red silk-organza and georgette Oscar de la Renta that was less than £515, who’s going to blink if it’s not white?

Saks Fifth Avenue

Busy brides, step aside. If you’re going to order online from the States, you’ve got to have the time and money to send your gown back if it doesn’t work out. Brides who are up to their eyes in work or other wedding preparations won’t want to take the risk of being lumbered with a £500 dress they don’t have time to post across the pond.

For those who do have the seconds to spare though, Saks Fifth Avenue have made a big hoo-ha out of the fact that they’re now up for shipping worldwide. If you’re after a short and simple dress, don’t spend the international postage – there are generally styles similar to what Saks is hawking way more locally – but if you’re struggling to find a longer look that suits your taste, the swish department store often stocks several standout options for under £500.

Example? Last time I checked, an Aidan Mattox with a beautiful curlicue-meets-sheer back was up for less than £315, while a seemingly simple cowl-neck ABS in satin revealed beautifully intricate silver and champagne back detailing – all for under £350. Meanwhile, the same brand’s bow-detail strapless gown was textbook modern, origami-chic for under £250.

For glamour-hunters, there were various visions in gold – from Sue Wong’s elaborately beaded and tightly ruffled chiffon number for under £445 to an utterly jaw-dropping gold V-neck, cowl back Notte by Marchesa stunner for under £430.

Also featured were a truckload of gorgeous, affordable BCBGMAXAZRIA, some glittering David Meisters and – if you’ve got just a little more to play with – a delicate, empire Badgley Mischka for under £610. There are even videos of a lot of the dresses so you can see them in floor-sweeping action before you order.

Shop Smart

There are just a few things to bear in mind when you shop online. theoutnet.com is an established, recognised brand, but there are a lot of cowboys out there hoping to fob you off with a counterfeit that crackles when you walk and costs your whole bridal budget – and possibly your sanity. Don’t buy from sellers you haven’t heard of, or who no-one you know has had positive first-hand experience with.

Always check the Ts and Cs when spending this amount of money on the web. You don’t want to be stuck with a dress that doesn’t fit because it turns out since it’s sale stock you can’t send it back.

You may need to get alterations, so you should factor these into the cost before deciding whether to keep your gown. Talk to an experienced, trustworthy seamstress or a bridal boutique that doesn’t mind amending dresses other than their own before you decide it’s the right dress for you.

If you’re shopping from abroad, keep in mind extra charges – I’ve seen shipping priced at £9.99 and then taxes and duties tacked on at £80. It doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker if you’ve laid eyes on your dream dress at a pinch-yourself price, but it’s hardly pocket change so be careful to budget for it.

Best for: Brides with a lot of time on their hands. You have to be willing to wait for your dress to arrive, to get in touch with a seamstress for alterations, or to send it back if needs be. With discount sites like THEOUTNET you’ve also got to keep an eye on Twitter or newsletters from your fave site so you can jump in and order your dream dress the minute it goes online – miss them and you could be left with slim pickings when it comes to choice of sizes.

Hire

No desire to wrap your W-day dress up in anti-moth paraphernalia and stash it in the attic? Or to try to convince your daughter she wants to wear it on her wedding day in 25 years or so? Go temporary and take all the savings that come with.

Go Local

I have a confession to make. For a while before my wedding I daydreamed about a little old lady – probably the cobbler from The Elves and the Shoemaker’s more competent other half – who would take in my dress for me, stitch on a few extra sequins and wipe a little tear from her eye in a grandmotherly way when I finally tried it on.

If that’s the kind of experience you’re after, you’re not going to get it on the high street. Or at the jaw-dropping online hire place I’m about to wax lyrical about. But you might find it in that friendly neighbourhood bridal boutique I mentioned – as well as that warm, fuzzy feeling of supporting local biz (and not paying the earth for it).

Although hiring means it’s likely your bridalwear choices will be more limited than if you bought – some fabrics can’t be altered imperceptibly so they won’t be available to rent – you will be able to add super-pretty prom dresses into the mix, and it’s a way of wearing something heart-stopping that also keeps your bank balance the right side of red.

Wish Want Wear

Fans of Temperley, Badgley Mischka and Malene Birger, try to hold it together: gowns by these and other designers are available to hire online from Wish Want Wear – from as little as about £50. No, I haven’t missed a nought off – last time I looked Birger-ites could hire a trim, super-cute style with cool, contemporary lace for four days for £50, or eight days for £85.

Meanwhile, Temperley lovers could get a stunning laser-cut, empire-line, floor-length number for four days for £165 or eight days for £315. Or even an embellished low-back look worth £3,835 for four days for £215 or eight for £415.

As for Mischka fans, you were looking at a totes-affordable £115 for a ruffle-loving halter neck for four days, or £215 for the same dream-dress for eight.

This is a site where it’s worth checking out the wedding section (it’s under Occasions, Bridal), but if you’re open to other colours, you can also search gowns by names like Hervé Léger, Just Cavalli, M Missoni, MW Matthew Williamson, See by Chloe and co. according to everything from neckline to sleeve and body type.

Standout brides and designer addicts can hire their accessories here too – if you’re into statement necklaces and eye-catching clutches, you can often rent names like Erickson Beamon for the price of buying a bling-tastic high-street gem. There are usually – for major label lusters – a few select Chanel by Vintage Heirloom quilted bags too, but you’re unlikely to get them for much under £100, and they tend to be black.

The need-to-knows at the time of writing: delivery is available next-day, same-day and even on Saturdays; you can pre-book your delivery date in advance; minor spills and damage are covered; returns are free; they do the dry cleaning; they send you a free back-up size with your hire; and they offer a handy try-on service so you can test the fit of up to three dresses for £21.90.

I’d recommend calling up one of their style advisors before you book anything though – when it’s your wedding, I can’t help feeling it’s best to confirm the availability of your date and size with a human being, rather than an online calendar.

Best for: Designer divas. Who cares if you don’t get to keep the dress? There’s no room in your cluttered loft anyway. My only hint: brides outside average sizes may struggle – there are gowns in sixes and 18s, but your choice will be more limited than your eights to 12s.

Couture

In bridal circles, this tends to mean going to one of the big-name couturiers and spending thousands of pounds having your dress designed and crafted to your exact spec. What I’m suggesting is a less intensive – and expensive – experience that’s perfect if you’ve got a dream dress in your head that doesn’t seem to be on the hangers.

I’ll be honest: this option is going to take a lot of legwork. You’ll have to Google/Yell.com/Thomson Local dressmakers or seamstresses in your local area, check their reviews online and call them up for prices. Numbers are likely to vary, but in general are cheaper for – you guessed it – shorter, simpler styles.

Your best bet is to ask around among friends and relatives – maybe even put up a post on Facebook or hit Twitter. You’ll be surprised how many people have taken a prom dress to a tailor in the past or even know someone who makes clothes for a living. For me, working with someone who’s been recommended by a pal you know and trust has got to be a better bet than hoping the reviews you read on that random website weren’t just written by the shop itself.

Once you get down there, get to know your seamstress before you book anything. Ask to see samples of their previous work, or items they’re working on now, and touch the fabric so you can see that it’s of a suitable quality.

Then sit down and discuss their process – are they a one-man band expecting you to supply the silk, or a boutique ordering their fabric in at a range of prices? Make sure you get a written quote before they get started too – or you could end up having all the fun of bringing in cowboys to redo your kitchen and watching the price go up and up and up…

Best for: Brides of all shapes and sizes. Petite brides, in particular, might have trouble finding a style in your standard sizes, but as long as you’re careful about the dressmaker you choose, this option could land you with a luxe, perfectly fitted look.

Charity and Vintage

More and more often, charity and vintage shops are taking on second-hand wedding dresses and selling them off at reasonable prices. If you’re not worried that your dress has been worn once before and you want to make every penny you’re spending on your big day count, helping out an independent vintage shop owner or the beneficiaries of a registered charity is the way forward.

Oxfam is really making a name for itself in the inboxes of wedding writers – and even if you can’t pop into your local branch, their online shop is full to bursting. As you’d expect, there tends to be more in sizes 10 to 14 than any others, but new brides are giving over their gowns for a good cause every day, so it’s worth checking back regularly.

To give you an idea, the most expensive dress I’ve seen them offer was a beaded, halterneck Johanna Hehir for £800, but really the majority of gowns have tended to go for less than £350. It’s the place to go if you’re after individual style sans the couturier too – with old-school looks from the Forties to the Seventies and unbranded pink and lacy confections, there’s little chance of you getting copycatted by the time you walk down the aisle.

Best for: One-off brides. If today’s gowns aren’t making the right style statement, why not rifle through your local treasure trove and come out with something uniquely you?

Chapter 4

The Groom

Truss up your man without emptying his wallet

He might not make a big deal about what he wears normally – he might even be found lounging around in yesterday’s joggers more often than not – but whether he says so or keeps it under his hat, there’s a good chance your man wants to look just as ooh-la-la as you do on your big day. And even if he doesn’t, I’d say the odds are you want him to – but in a hassle-free, less-than-expensive way? You’ve come to the right place.

Before You Start

Whoever you’re trussing him up for, the same as with your dress, there are rules that can keep his costs down.

First up: two-piece versus three-piece. No prizes for guessing which of these costs less. So consider carefully before opting for a waistcoat that he’ll only go and peel off at the reception anyway. If you really love the idea of a bit of extra colour, think along the lines of a more elaborately patterned shirt. Voilà! A dashing look that does less damage off the bat.

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