ROBIN SHARMA

Author of No. 1 Internation Bestseller

THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI

Copyright

HarperElement

An Imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 77–85 Fulham Palace Road, Hammersmith, London W6 8JB

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2006 This edition published by HarperElement 2006

© Robin S. Sharma 2006

Robin S. Sharma asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

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Source ISBN: 9780007242870

Ebook Edition © MAY 2012 ISBN: 9780007370504

Version: 2014-09-10

Dedication

I dedicate this book, with deep respect and great love, to my parents. You not only gave me the gift of life but an unrelenting passion to live it fully. For that I am so very grateful.

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Epigraph

1. I’m No Guru

2. Harvey Keitel and Windows of Opportunity

3. Nothing Fails like Success

4. Be a Rock Star at Work

5. Your Days Define Your Life

6. Drink Coffee with Gandhi

7. Get Some Skin in the Game

8. Be into Breezes

9. Make Time to Think

10. Leadership Begins on the Extra Mile

11. Mick Jagger and Reference Points

12. Business Is Relationships

13. Life Lessons from SpongeBob SquarePants

14. How to Be a Happier Human

15. Work Hard, Get Lucky

16. Know Your Genius

17. Listen Twice as Much as You Speak

18. Your Customers Buy with Their Hearts

19. Learn to Say No

20. Burn Your Boats

21. Grow Leaders Fast

22. Your Four-Minute Mile

23. Push the Envelope

24. On Obituaries and the Meaning of Life

25. Leadership Isn’t a Popularity Contest

26. What Do You Evangelize?

27. Under the Kimono: My Best Practices

28. Culture Is King

29. Your Schedule Doesn’t Lie

30. Shine as a Parent

31. Be a Merchant of Wow

32. Getting What You Want While Loving What You Have

33. Think like a CEO

34. Act like an Athlete

35. Be Wildly Enthusiastic

36. Success Isn’t Sexy

37. On Cuddle Parties and the Sad State of the World

38. The Value of Good

39. Grace under Pressure

40. To Be More Productive, Relax and Have More Fun

41. The Two Magic Words

42. The Value of Dying Daily

43. Client-Focused vs. Out to Lunch

44. Lead Without Title

45. Do Your Part

46. Do You Play?

47. Avoid the “Four F’s Syndrome”

48. Problems Reveal Genius

49. Love Your Irritations

50. Speak like a Superstar

51. Learning or Decaying

52. Simple Tactics for Superb Relationships

53. Rock Stars as Poets

54. The Innovator’s Mantra

55. Pleasure vs. Happiness

56. The $600 Sandwich

57. Good Business Is Good for Business

58. Build Success Structures

59. The Person Who Experiences Most Wins

60. Brand like Diddy

61. Get Big into Blessings

62. Be Wise, Early Rise

63. Who Made Success a Dirty Word?

64. Get Great at Life

65. The Steve Jobs Question

66. What’s Missing from Your Coolness?

67. No Ask, No Get

68. Sell Your Desk

69. Get Fit to Lead

70. Extreme Leadership and Kids’ Clothing

71. The Seven Forms of Wealth

72. Apply the U2 Standard

73. Learn More to Earn More

74. See Through the Eyes of Understanding

75. The Heart of Your House

76. Become an Inspirational Human Being

77. Make a Dent in the Universe

78. Not All Leaders Are the Same

79. Six Reasons to Set Goals

80. Remember the Boomerang Effect

81. Make People Feel Good

82. Commit to First Class

83. Do a Clean Sweep

84. Follow the Million Dollar Baby Rule

85. The Earth Is Small

86. Guests Are God

87. The Beauty of Time

88. On Mountains and Mastering Change

89. What Happened to “Please”?

90. Bon Jovi and the Power of Focus

91. Do a “101 Things to Do Before I Die” List

92. Spend Time with Your Kids

93. Get Goofy at Work

94. Revere Great Design

95. On Evian Water and You as a Big-Time Dreamer

96. Be like Garth

97. Don’t Give Up

98. Get Big on Self-Care

99. Guess Who Inspires Me?

100. How to Live Forever

101. Lay Claim to Greatness

Keep Reading

Resources for Personal Greatness

Resources for Organizational Greatness

About the Publisher

Epigraph

“Life is pure adventure and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art.”

Maya Angelou

“I used to think that one day I’d be able to resolve the different drives I have in different directions, the tensions between the different people I am. Now I realize that is who I am. I do feel I’m getting closer to the song in my head. I wasn’t looking for grace. But luckily grace was looking for me.”

Bono, lead singer of U2, as quoted in Rolling Stone

1
I’m No Guru

The media sometimes calls me a leadership (or self-help) “guru.” I’m not. I’m just an ordinary guy who happens to have learned ideas and tools that have helped many human beings reach their best lives and many organizations get to world class.

But I must be really clear: I’m no different from you. I have my struggles, my frustrations and my own fears—along with my hopes, goals and dreams. I’ve had good seasons and some deeply painful ones. I’ve made some spectacularly good choices and some outrageously bad mistakes. I’m very human—a work in progress. If I have ideas that you find insightful, please know it’s simply because I spend my days focused on the knowledge you are about to experience. Thinking about practical ways to help you play your biggest game as a human being and reach greatness. Dwelling on how I can help companies get to the extraordinary. Do anything long enough and you’ll get some depth of insight and understanding about it. Then they’ll call you a guru.

A man at a signing I did at a bookstore in Bangalore, India, heard me say, “I’m no guru.” He came up to me and said: “Why are you so uncomfortable being called a guru? ‘Gu’ simply means ‘darkness’ in Sanskrit and ‘ru’ simple means ‘dispel.’ So the word ‘guru’ simply speaks of one who dispels the darkness and brings more understanding and light.” Nice point. Made me think.

I’ve had good seasons and some
deeply painful ones. I’ve made some
spectacularly good choices and some outrageously bad mistakes. I’m very human—a work in progress.

I guess my discomfort stems from the fact that if you think I’m different from you, then you might say, “Well, I can’t do the kinds of things Robin talks about because he has talents and abilities I don’t have. All the stuff he talks about is easy for him to do. He’s this guru.” Nope. Sorry to disappoint you. I’m just a guy working hard to make the best of his days, trying to be a great single dad to my two wonderful children and hoping he’s—in some way—making a difference in peoples’ lives. No guru here. But I do like the “dispelling the darkness” point. Need to learn more about that one. Maybe some guru can help me.

2
Harvey Keitel and Windows of Opportunity

I don’t always get it right (I told you I’m no guru). But please know that I try so hard to walk my talk and to ensure my video is in alignment with my audio. Still, I am a human being, and that means sometimes I slip (I’ve yet to meet a perfect one). Here’s what I mean.

I spend a lot of time encouraging the readers of my books and the participants at my workshops on personal and organizational leadership to “run toward your fears” and to seize those “cubic centimeters of chance” (opportunities) when they present themselves. I challenge my clients to dream, to shine and to dare, because to me a life well lived is all about reaching for your highest and your best. And, in my mind, the person who experiences the most wins. Most of the time, I am a poster boy for visiting the places that scare me and doing the things that make me feel uncomfortable. But recently, I didn’t. Sorry.

I was downtown at the Four Seasons in Toronto, in the lobby getting ready for a speech I was about to give to a company called Advanced Medical Optics, which is a long-standing leadership coaching client of ours and an impressive organization. I look up and guess who I see? Harvey Keitel. Yes, the Harvey “Reservoir Dogs Big Movie Star” Keitel. And what does the man who wrote The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari do? I shrink from greatness.

Each day, life will send you little windows of
opportunity. Your destiny will ultimately be defined by how you respond to these windows of opportunity.

I don’t know why I didn’t stand up and walk over and make a new friend. I’ve done it with baseball legend Pete Rose at the Chicago airport (we ended up sitting next to each other all the way to Phoenix). I did it last summer with Henry Kravis, one of the planet’s top financiers in the lobby of a hotel in Rome (I was with my kids, and Colby, my 11-year-old son, thought he was pretty cool). I did it with Senator Edward Kennedy when I saw him in Boston. I even did it with guitar virtuoso Eddie Van Halen when I was a kid growing up in Halifax, Nova Scotia. But I missed the chance to connect with Harvey Keitel.

Each day, life will send you little windows of opportunity. Your destiny will ultimately be defined by how you respond to these windows of opportunity. Shrink from them and your life will be small. Feel the fear and run to them anyway, and your life will be big. Life’s just too short to play little. Even with your kids, you only have a tiny window to develop them and champion their highest potential. And to show them what unconditional love looks like. When that window closes, it’s hard to reopen it.

If I see Harvey Keitel again, I promise you that I’ll sprint toward him. He may think I’m a celebrity stalker until we start to chat. And then he’ll discover the truth: I’m simply a man who seizes the gifts that life presents to him.

3
Nothing Fails like Success

Richard Carrion, the CEO of Puerto Rico’s top bank, once shared a line with me that I’ll never forget: “Robin, nothing fails like success.” Powerful thought. You, as well as your organization, are most vulnerable when you are most successful. Success actually breeds complacency, inefficiency and—worst of all—arrogance. When people and businesses get really successful, they often fall in love with themselves. They stop innovating, working hard, taking risks and begin to rest on their laurels. They go on the defensive, spending their energy protecting their success rather than staying true to the very things that got them to the top. Whenever I share this point with a roomful of CEOs, every single one of them nods in agreement. Please let me give you a real-world example from my own life.

This past weekend, I took my kids to our favorite Italian restaurant. The food is incredible there. The best bresaola outside of Italy. Heavenly pasta. Super foamy lattes that make me want to give up my job and become a barista. But the service at this place is bad. Bad, bad, bad (like it is at most places). Why? Because the place is always full. And because they are doing so well, they’ve taken the lines out front for granted. And guess what? It’s the beginning of their end.

I love taking pictures. My dad taught me to record the journey of my life with photos. So I generally carry a little camera around with me. I asked our server if she would snap a picture of my children and me as we dug into our spaghetti. “I don’t have time” was the curt reply. Unbelievable. Too busy to take five seconds to keep a customer happy. Too busy to help out a little. Too busy to show some humanity.

The more successful you and your organization become, the more humble and devoted to your customers you need to be.

“Nothing fails like success.” Richard Carrion gets it. So does David Neeleman, the CEO of JetBlue, who observed: “When you’re making money and good margins, you tend to get sloppy.” Many CEOs don’t. The more successful you and your organization become, the more humble and devoted to your customers you need to be. The more committed to efficiency and relentless improvement you need to be. The faster you need to play. The more value you need to add. Because the moment you stop doing the very things that got you to the top of the mountain is the very moment you begin the slide down to the valley.

4
Be a Rock Star at Work

Just finished reading an article in Fortune on the Google guys and all their economic success. It inspired a torrent of ideas (reading’s like that, isn’t it?). It got me thinking about the importance of showing up fully at work—giving the fullness of your brilliance and playing full out. Being wildly passionate about your To Do’s. Being breathtakingly committed to your big projects and best opportunities. Being a rock star in whatever you do each day to put bread on your table.

Work gives meaning to our lives. It influences our self-worth and the way we perceive our place under the sun. Being great at what you do isn’t just something you do for the organization you work for—it’s a gift you give yourself. Being spectacularly great at your work promotes personal respect, excitement and just makes your life a lot more interesting. Good things happen to people who do good things. And when you bring your highest talents and deepest devotion to the work you do, what you are really doing is setting yourself up for a richer, happier and more fulfilling experience of living.

How do you feel after an ultra-productive day? How do you feel when you’ve given your best, had fun with your teammates and gone the extra mile for customers? How do you feel when you’ve brought more heart to what you do for a living? How do you feel when you reached for your greatest goals and grabbed them? It feels pretty good, doesn’t it? And you don’t need to have the biggest title to do the best job. This point makes me think of the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.—one of my heroes—who once observed: “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or as Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’”

And you don’t need to have the biggest title to do the best job.

So be a rock star at work today. Walk onto the stage of this day and play your heart out. Give the performance of your life. Wow your audience and get them cheering for you. Be the Bono of selling staplers. Be the Keith Richards of accounting. Be the Jimi Hendrix of human resources. And when you get famous and people from all over ask you for your autograph, make sure you drop me a line. I’d love to hear from you.

5
Your Days Define Your Life

Big idea: Your days are your life in miniature. As you live your hours, so you create your years. As you live your days, so you craft your life. What you do today is actually creating your future. The words you speak, the thoughts you think, the food you eat and the actions you take are defining your destiny—shaping who you are becoming and what your life will stand for. Small choices lead to giant consequences—over time. There’s no such thing as an unimportant day.

As you live your days, so you craft your life.

Each one of us is called to greatness. Each one of us has an exquisite power within us. Each one of us can have a significant impact on the world around us—if we so choose. But for this power that resides internally to grow, we need to use it. And the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. The more this power gets tapped, the more confident you become. Henry David Thoreau related to this point well when he wrote: “I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of a human being to elevate their life by conscious endeavor.” And advertising guru Donny Deutsch added a more current spin on the idea when he wrote in his book Often Wrong, Never in Doubt: “For every person with the stuff, the one out of a hundred who goes to a rarefied place is the one who says, ‘why not me?’ and goes for it.”

The best among us are not more gifted than the rest. They just take little steps each day as they march toward their biggest life. And the days slip into weeks, the weeks into months and before they know it, they arrive at a place called Extraordinary.

6
Drink Coffee with Gandhi

Reading is one of the best disciplines I know of to stay “on your game” and at your highest. Reading from a great book is really all about having a conversation with the author. And we become our conversations. Just think, tonight—by reading Mahatma Gandhi’s autobiography, My Experiments with Truth, over a cup of coffee—you can get behind this great man’s eyeballs and learn what made him tick. Want to hang out with Madonna tomorrow? Grab her book. Same for Jack Welch, Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, Salvador Dali or the Dalai Lama. And reading a book by someone you respect allows some of their brilliance to rub off on you. The hand that puts down a great book will never be the same. As Oliver Wendell Holmes observed: “A mind once stretched by a new idea can never return to its original dimensions.”

When I was growing up my father once told me: “Cut back on your rent or cut back on what you spend on food but never worry about investing money in a good book.” That powerful thought has accompanied me through life. His philosophy was that all it takes is one idea discovered in a single book to lift you to a whole new level and revolutionize the way you see the world. And so our home was filled with books. And now I try to devote at least an hour a day to reading. That habit alone has transformed me. Thank you, Dad.

Perhaps my greatest gift to my children when I die will be my library. I have books on leadership, relationships, business, philosophy, Wellness, spirituality, great lives and many of my other favored topics in it. Many of these I’ve picked up in bookshops from across the planet when I travel on business. These books have shaped my thinking. They have formed my personal philosophy. They have made me the man I am. To me, my books are priceless.

Reading a book by someone you respect allows some of their brilliance to rub off on you.

The old expression is true: “Knowing how to read and not reading is almost the same as not knowing how to read.” Make the time to read something good each day. Fill your mind with big ideas and dazzling thoughts. Use books to flood your soul with hope and inspiration. And remember, if you want to lead, you really need to read. Oh, and if you—like me—have the habit of buying more books than you can ever possibly read, don’t feel guilty—you’re building your library. And that’s a beautiful thing.

7
Get Some Skin in the Game

I fail more than most people. I fail all the time. I’ve had failures in business. I’ve had failures in relationships. I’ve had failures in life. I used to wonder why this happened. I used to play Poor Me and suffer from the dreaded disease of victimitis infinitus. But now I get it. I’ve been stumbling toward my best life. Failure is the price of greatness. Failure is an essential ingredient for a high achievement. As innovation guru David Kelley wrote: “Fail faster. Succeed sooner.” You can’t win without leaving your safety zone and taking some calculated risks. No risk, no reward. And the more risks you take in the pursuit of your dreams, the more you are going to fail.

Too many among us live in what I call the safe harbor of the known. Same breakfast for 20 years. Same drive to work for 20 years. Same conversations for 20 years. Same thinking for 20 years. I have no judgment on that kind of a life. If it makes you happy, well, that’s great. But I don’t know of anyone who is happy living like that. If you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting. Einstein defined insanity as doing the same things but expecting different results. Yet most people rule their lives that way. True joy comes when you put some skin in the game and take some chances. Yes, you will start to experience more failure. But guess what? Success also starts to pay more visits.

Failure is just part of the process of getting to world class. “Screw-ups are the mark of excellence,” said management consultant Tom Peters. The best companies on the planet have failed more than the average ones. The most successful people on the planet have failed more than ordinary ones. To me, the only failure is the failure to try and dream and dare. The real risk lies in riskless living. Mark Twain made the point perfectly when he observed: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did.”

The real risk lies in riskless living.

So go ahead, stretch today. Ask for the best table in your favorite restaurant. Ask for an upgrade to first class on your next flight (good luck). Ask your teammate at work for more understanding. Ask your sweetheart at home for more love. Do it. I dare you. And remember, you can’t win a game that you don’t even play.

8
Be into Breezes

I was at my tennis club a while ago with my kids, who are great players. I’m a great ball boy at best. A man who I guess would be in his early seventies comes up to me and starts a conversation. Interesting person. Lived a rich life so far. After a few moments, he closes his eyes and smiles. I ask: “What’s going on?” His reply was unforgettable: “Oh, nothing much. It’s just that I’m really into breezes.” Perfect.

Some of life’s best pleasures are its simplest ones. Enrich your life with more of them and your heart will be happy.

In this age of wanting more, needing more and having more, it was so refreshing to hear someone speak of the simple pleasures of life. I need to be clear: I have nothing against material things. Contrary to popular belief, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari isn’t a manifesto against making money and enjoying the good life. My main message there was simply “remember what’s most important to leading a great life.” Drive a BMW, wear Prada, stay at the Four Seasons and earn a ton of money if these are things that make you happy. Life is certainly full of material pleasures that really do make the journey more delightful. No need to feel guilty about enjoying them. But please don’t forget about those basic but beautiful treasures to be loved along the way. Like deep human connections, realizing your best through fulfilling work, exploring the world and experiencing the glory of nature—like a sensational sunset that fills your soul or a full moon set against a star-filled sky.

Some of life’s best pleasures are its simplest ones. Enrich your life with more of them and your heart will be happy. And you can start with sweet breezes.

9
Make Time to Think

I am blessed to be able to meet interesting people from all walks of life regularly because of the work I do. I meet filmmakers, poets, brilliant college students, wise teachers and visionary entrepreneurs. Each one of these encounters has taught me something and shaped my perspective. I had dinner recently with one of Asia’s top CEOs. Asked him the secret of his outrageous success. He smiled: “I make the time to think.” Every morning, he spends at least 45 minutes with his eyes closed, deep in reflection. He’s not meditating. He’s not praying. He’s thinking.

Sometimes he’s analyzing business challenges. Other times he’s thinking about new markets. Still other times he’s being introspective on the meaning of his life and what he wants it to stand for. Often, he’s simply dreaming up new ways to grow personally and professionally. Every once in a while, he’ll spend between six and eight hours doing this. Sitting silently. Still. With his eyes closed. Thinking.

Making the time to think is a superb strategy for success at leadership and in life. Too many people spend the best hours of their days solely engaged in doing, on the execution aspect of things. Recently a client said to me: “Robin, sometimes I get so busy that I don’t even know what I’m so busy doing.” But what if he’s busy with the wrong things? Few things are as disappointing as investing all your time, energy and potential climbing a mountain only to find—once at the top—that you climbed the wrong one. Thinking and reflection ensures that you’re on the right mountain. Peter Drucker, the management expert, said it so well: “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

Peter Drucker, the management expert said
it so well: “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

Being thoughtful and strategic is step number one as you walk to greatness. Clarity precedes success. By thinking more, you will have a better sense of your priorities and what you need to focus on. Your actions will be more crisp and deliberate and intentional. You will make better decisions and wiser choices. More time thinking will make you less reactive. You’ll become clearer on the best uses of your time (which will, in turn, save you time). And your “think time” will provoke some amazing ideas and inspire some big dreams. Lewis Carroll addressed this point beautifully in Alice in Wonderland when he wrote:

‘“There’s no use in trying,’ said Alice. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’”

10
Leadership Begins on the Extra Mile

I had just dropped off Colby and Bianca at school and was driving to the office when I got an insight that made me pull over. So here I sit, off to the side of the road with my hazard blinkers on, hammering this out on my BlackBerry because I wanted to share it with you. The big idea: Leadership—and success—begins on the extra mile.

Ordinary people don’t spend
much time on the extra mile. But who ever said you were ordinary?

Leadership is shown when a salesperson makes extra calls at the end of an exhausting day—not because it’s the easy thing to do but because it’s the right thing to do. Leadership is shown by the manager who finishes a report that has taken the very best from him, then goes back to it a little later to polish and improve it even more. Leadership is shown by a team that delivers on their value promise to a customer and then digs even deeper to wow them. And leadership is shown by the human being who fights the urge to stay under the covers on a cold day and throws on her running shoes to pound the pavement. Not because running miles on a frosty morning is fun. But because it’s wise.

Please think about this idea. I think it’s a deeply important one. Those among us who craft extraordinary careers and spectacular lives are those who spend most of their time giving their best out on the extra mile. Yes, ordinary people don’t spend much time on the extra mile. But who ever said you were ordinary?

11
Mick Jagger and Reference Points

Last Monday night I watched a 62-year-old man rock the house for more than two hours in front of 30,000 adoring fans. Yup, Mick is 62 and the once young Stones frontman is aging. But he still has that charisma. Still has the moves. Still has the youth.

As I watched him, I thought of a term I’ve been sharing at my seminars these days: “reference points.” I heard someone say last week: “I’m in my sixties—getting near the end of my life.” Not if Mick is your reference point.

Positive reference points will pull you into a new way of seeing things and introduce you to a new set of possibilities. Doors you never even knew existed will begin to open. Lance Armstrong is a great reference point on persistence. My father is a great reference point on integrity. My mother is an excellent reference point on kindness. My children are superb reference points on what unconditional love and boundless curiosity look like. Richard Branson is a spectacular reference point on living a full-out life. Madonna is a great reference point on reinvention. Peter Drucker was a wonderful reference point on the importance of lifelong learning. Nelson Mandela is a brilliant reference point on courage and humanitarianism.

Often, we have weak reference points so we see the limitations of a scenario rather than the opportunities. With world-class reference points, you will realize far more of your potential and life will have more wonder. You will play a bigger game as a human being if you pick the right people to model. We are all cut from the same cloth. We are all flesh and bones. If they can get to greatness—so can you. You just need to do the same kinds of things your reference points did to reach their excellence.

Positive reference points will pull you
into a new way of seeing things and introduce you to a new set of possibilities. Doors you never even knew existed will begin to open.

And I’ll tell you one thing: When I’m 62, I want to be like Mick. Because he’s just getting started.

12
Business Is Relationships

I’m sitting on a plane in Frankfurt as I write this chapter. I spent yesterday meeting with publishers who have distributed The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari series around the world. Each autumn, Frankfurt comes alive as 250,000 publishing people descend on the city for the world’s largest book fair. For me, today marks the last day of a 20-day speaking and book tour that took me throughout India (one of my favorite countries to visit) to Istanbul (a fantastic place) and finally to this small German city. Learned so much these past three weeks. Met so many amazing human beings who blessed me with their kindness. Been moved by the sea change of people who are reaching for their greatest lives and leading by example. Perhaps most of all, I’ve been reminded that few things are more important than building relationships.

How easy it is to forget that, ultimately, business and life is all about forging human bonds. Being out on this tour, I laughed with my readers at book signings. I broke bread with the clients we do leadership development work for. I drank coffee with my publishers. I got to know the people in this community that has grown around my message. And they got to know me.

Big idea: People want to know that you are real. That you are decent, kind and trustworthy. They want to feel you and sense you and look into your eyes to see what you are made of. They want to know your passion for whatever it is you stand for. And when they sense that you are the real deal, they will open up to you. When they see that you have their best interests in mind, they will trust you—and keep your best interests in mind. Once they get that you are good, they’ll be good to you. And your career (along with your life) will get to a place called world class based on those trust connections. It’s easy to forget that people do business with people they like—and who make them feel good. Simple stuff—I know. Yet most of us just don’t get around to becoming masterful at the basics. Success is all about consistency around the fundamentals. The only thing that’s rocket science is rocket science.

It’s easy to forget that people do business with people they like.

So I invite you to get out of your office and go circulate. Being out there makes good things happen. Nothing really happens until you move. Shake hands. Do lunches. Show genuine interest. Spread your goodwill. Evangelize your message. Remember that before someone will lend you a hand, you need to touch their heart. And that business is all about relationships.

13
Life Lessons from SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob SquarePants is my hero. The kids and I were having breakfast this morning when Bianca, my nine-year-old daughter, brought up the subject of this crazy little cartoon character. “Daddy, is SpongeBob a real person?” Made me laugh. Then it made me think. If SpongeBob were a human being, this world would be a better place. Seriously. Here are four lessons SpongeBob can teach us to get more joy from life:

BE THE ETERNAL OPTIMIST. The guy (or sponge, I should say) always sees the best in any situation. Your thinking really does shape your reality. And because SpongeBob looks for the best, he finds it.

VALUE PEOPLE. SpongeBob knows what friendship means. He loves his pals in Bikini Bottom, even Squidword “who is always cranky,” to borrow my son’s words. SpongeBob knows that respect and putting people first are two of the most important elements for strong relationships.

BE AN ORIGINAL. SpongeBob is one of a kind. Too many among us are afraid to be ourselves. So we give up our dreams to follow the crowd. Tragic. “To thine own self be true,” wrote Shakespeare. Have the courage to be your true—and greatest—you. (Warren Buffett, chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, once said, “There can’t be two yous.”)

Too many among us are afraid to be ourselves. So we give up our dreams to follow the crowd.

LAUGH AND HAVE FUN. There’s no point in being successful but sad. Makes no sense. Yes, reach for the mountaintop. But enjoy the climb as well. Life wasn’t meant to be an ordeal. It was meant to be a celebration. So have big-time fun as you chase—and catch—your most cherished dreams.

14
How to Be a Happier Human

Here’s a simple idea that has worked brilliantly for the executives and entrepreneurs who I coach: If you want to be happier, do more of the things that make you happy. I know that seems like an obvious point—but it’s not. As we leave the wonder years of childhood, most of us stop doing the things that make our hearts sing. One CEO client told me recently that when he was young, he used to love to take long solo rides on his bicycle. “I stopped doing that when we had kids and work demands took over. Life just got busier. But those moments out on that bike came from some of the best days of my life.” Another client, a phenomenally successful entrepreneur, shared that his passion used to be playing his drums in a rock band. “Those were incredible times. Then I started my business and it began to consume me. I miss playing music. I’d lose myself in it.”

Here’s your To Do: Make a list of your 10 Greatest Passions, 10 activities that fill your heart with joy and remind you of how good life can be. And then, over the coming 10 weeks, inject one of those pursuits into your weekly schedule. Powerful thought: The things that get scheduled are the things that get done. Until you schedule something, it’s only a concept—and extraordinary people don’t build remarkable lives on concepts. They build their greatness on action and near-flawless execution around their deliverables. They get things done.

This 10-week program works. When you get back to doing those things that lifted your spirit and sent you soaring, you reconnect with that state of happiness that you may have lost. And part of the purpose of life is to be happy. Really happy.

When you get back to doing those things that lifted your spirit and sent you soaring, you reconnect with that state of happiness that you may have lost.

15
Work Hard, Get Lucky

That old line remains so true: “The harder I work, the luckier I get.” Life helps those who help themselves. Learned that one from personal experience. I’m not one of those New Age types that believes “it’s all meant to be” and that our lives have been scripted by an invisible set of hands. That kind of talk smacks of “victimspeak” and fear. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of success. That kind of language also lacks any sense of personal responsibility and usually comes from people too afraid to get into the game. Sure I believe that there’s a force of nature that comes into play when we least expect it (and most need it). And yes, I believe there is a coherence to the way our lives unfold that is highly intelligent. But I also believe—deeply—that we were given free will and the power to make choices for a single reason: to exercise them. I believe that we generally get from life what we give to life. I believe that good things happen to those willing to put in the effort, exercise discipline and make the sacrifices that personal and professional greatness requires—no, demands. I’ve also found that actions have consequences and the more good things I do—through good old hard work—the more success I see. Life favors the devoted.

Not one of the über-successful people I’ve worked with as a leadership coach got there without outworking everyone around them. While others were home watching TV or sleeping, these great ones—who have made their mark on the world and have added tremendous value to it—were up early, putting in the hours, showing life that they were dedicated to their dream. I’m not—for even a moment—denying the importance of work-life balance and spending time with loved ones or caring for your inner life. I’ll be the first to stand for those values. All I’m saying is that behind extraordinary achievement you will always discover extraordinary effort. Just a law of nature. Hasn’t changed for a thousand years.

Not one of the über-successful people I’ve worked with as a leadership coach got there without outworking everyone around them.

Ivan Seidenberg, the chairman and CEO of Verizon, tells the following story: “My first boss—he was the building superintendent and I was a janitor—watched me sweep floors and wash walls for almost a year before he mentioned I could get tuition for college if I got a job with the phone company. When I asked him why he waited so long, he said: ‘I wanted to see if you were worth it.’”

And Time Warner CEO Dick Parsons once observed that the best advice he ever got was from his grandmother. She told him: “Whatever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” So plant your seeds. Be spectacularly great at what you do. Wear your passion on your sleeve and hold your heart in the palm of your hand. And work hard. Really hard. Hard work opens doors and shows the world that you are serious about being one of those rare—and special—human beings that uses the fullness of their talents for the highest and the very best.

16
Know Your Genius

Genius is not the sole domain of a rare breed of person. Both you and I are entitled to that label and to play in that space—if we so choose. Here’s the big idea: Focus on any area or skill with a relentless devotion to daily improvement and a passion for excellence and within three to five years, you will be operating at a level of competence (and insight) such that people call you a genius. Focus plus daily improvement plus time equals genius. Understand that formula deeply and your life will never be the same.

Michael Jordan was a basketball genius. Was his spectacular success on the court purely the result of natural gifts? Absolutely not. He took what nature gave him and ran the formula: Focus plus daily improvement plus time equals genius. He didn’t try to be good at five different sports. He didn’t scatter his focus. He just got devoted to being brilliant at basketball. And he was.

Thomas Edison registered a stunning 1093 patents over his lifetime and invented the light bulb as well as the phonograph. (A schoolteacher labelled him a slow learner when he was a kid; he didn’t listen. Kudos.) He didn’t try to be a great merchant and a great poet and a great musician. He focused on his inventions. He improved daily. And he let time work its magic. Genius came knocking.

Makes me think of a story about Pablo Picasso. One day a woman spotted him in the market and pulled out a piece of paper. “Mr. Picasso,” she said excitedly, “I’m a big fan. Please, could you do a little drawing for me?” Picasso happily complied and quickly etched out a piece of art for her on the paper provided. He smiled as he handed it back to her, and said, “That will be a million dollars.” “But Mr. Picasso,” the flustered woman replied, “it only took you 30 seconds to do this little masterpiece.” “My good woman,” Picasso laughed, “it took me 30 years to do that masterpiece in 30 seconds.”

Focus plus daily improvement plus time equals genius. Understand that formula deeply and your life will never be the same.

Know what you can excel at—your genius. Discover your talents and then work like crazy to polish them. One of the most important of all personal leadership skills is self-awareness. Know what you are really great at. Reflect on those abilities that others admire in you. Think about those capabilities that just come easily to you—and that flow effortlessly from you. You might be a fantastic communicator or have a way with people. You might possess an extraordinary ability to execute and get things done. Perhaps your special talent lies in innovation and creativity and seeing what everyone else sees but thinking a different thought. Find your genius points and then develop them. Focus plus daily improvement plus time. Start today and in three to five years people will be writing about you. Calling you a genius. Celebrating your magnificence. And don’t worry—I’ll be one of them.

17
Listen Twice as Much as You Speak

My mom is a very wise woman. As a kid, I loved to talk (still do). In school, I always did well academically but my report cards never failed to note my passion for vigorously exercising my vocal chords on a near-constant basis. One day Mom sat me down and said: “Robin, you were given two ears and one mouth for a reason: to listen twice as much as you speak.” Brilliant point (still working on it though).

Listening intently to someone is one of the best ways I know of to honor that person and forge a deep human connection. When you listen to someone—not just with your mind but with every fiber of your being—it sends them a message: “I value what you have to say, and I’m humble enough to listen to your words.” So few of us are really good at listening. I’ll sit down next to someone on an airplane, at the start of a six-hour flight, and they’ll still be talking by the time we land—without having even asked me my name or where I’m from or what I do or the books I’ve read. Tells me not only that they lack what scientists call “sensory acuity” (an ability to pay attention to the cues around them) but that they were probably not given much listening as kids. Most people’s idea of listening is waiting until the other person has finished speaking before answering. And the sad fact is that while one person is talking, most of us are rehearsing our replies.

Listening intently to someone is one of the best ways I know of to honor that person and forge a deep human connection.

New York attorney general Eliot Spitzer has a line that I love: “Never talk when you can nod.” Your effectiveness as a businessperson, as a family member and as a human being will absolutely soar if you get this one right. Listen twice as much as you speak. Become a world-class listener. Get wildly interested in what others have to say to you. And just watch how people respond. They’ll fall in love with you. Quickly.

18
Your Customers Buy with Their Hearts

I’m standing in line at a Starbucks. The Dave Matthews Band is playing in the background. The smell of coffee fills the air. The espresso machines blast away. People are reading, relaxing and talking. The vibe is good. I feel happy here. Feels like home. If you’re in business, one of the most important things I suggest that you consider is the idea that people don’t buy with their heads so much as with their hearts. The competition in today’s marketplace is not for customers’ money. Not at all. The only real competition is for their emotions. Touch the hearts of the people you serve and they’ll be back for more. Engage their emotions and they’ll become your raving fans. Miss this insight and you just might lose your business.

Sure I could spend less on a cup of java. Sure there’s a coffee shop closer to where I work. But I love the way going into a Starbucks makes me feel. Relaxed. Happy. Good. And each of us craves good feelings as we live out our days. In so many ways, adults are nothing more than children in grown-up bodies—and children are all about feeling good. On this point about emotions driving customer behavior, Kevin Roberts, CEO of Saatchi & Saatchi, writes, in his superb book Lovemarks: The Future Beyond Brands: “In my 35 years in business I have always trusted my emotions. I have always believed that by touching emotion you get the best people to work with you, the best clients to inspire you, the best partners and most devoted customers.” Roberts then quotes neurologist Donald Calne: “The essential difference between emotion and reason is that emotion leads to action while reason leads to conclusions.” A breathtakingly important point. Human beings move when their emotions are moved.

Human beings move when their emotions are moved.

How does carrying an iPod around make you feel? How does shopping at a hip shop make you feel? How does walking into your favorite restaurant and being greeted like Diddy or Madonna or Bill Clinton make you feel? You get my point. People go where they are made to feel cared for, special and good. People buy from a place of emotional engagement. Seems so obvious. Yet most businesses don’t get it.

Here’s my bold statement for today: Business is in so many ways about love. Think about it. Success comes by treating your customers with love. Acclaim comes by doing your job with love. Market leadership comes with selling your wares with love. If your customers only like you, you are vulnerable to losing them when a competitor with a cheaper product or a more economical service comes along. Why? Because you’ve failed to emotionally connect with them. But when your customers love you—because you’ve touched their hearts by the way that you occur in their lives—you become part of their extended family. You’re now a part of their community. They become loyal. They tell the rest of the family about you. And they’ll take good care of you should times get tough.

So I’ll keep going to Starbucks. I love the place. And if you ever want to find me, I’ll be the guy tucked away in the quiet corner, sipping on a grande soy latte with a smile on my face and joy in my heart—feeling the love.

19
Learn to Say No

Every time you say yes to something that is unimportant, you are saying no to something that is important. “Yes men” and “yes women” never create anything great. There’s huge value in getting good at saying no.

Say no to the friend who wants to meet over coffee to gossip. Say no to the co-worker who wants to spread his negativity and cynicism. Say no to the relative who laughs at your dreams and makes you doubt yourself. Say no to the social obligations that drain time from your life’s work.

Every time you say yes to something that is unimportant, you say no to something that is important.

You can’t be all things to all people. The best among us get that. Know your priorities. Know your goals. Know what needs to get done over the coming weeks, months and years for you to feel that you played your best game as a human being. And then say no to everything else. Sure some people around you might not be happy. But would you rather live your life according to the approval of others or aligned with your truth and your dreams?

20
Burn Your Boats

Powerful thought: Great achievement often happens when our backs are up against the wall. Pressure can actually enhance your performance. Your power most fully exerts itself when the heat is on. Who you truly are surfaces only when you place yourself in a position of discomfort and you begin to feel like you’re out on the skinny branch. Challenge serves beautifully to introduce you to your best—and most brilliant—self. Please stop and think about that idea for a second or two. Easy times don’t make you better. They make you slower and more complacent and sleepy. Staying in the safety zone—and coasting through life—never made anyone bigger. Sure it’s very human to take the path of least resistance. And I’d agree it’s pretty normal to want to avoid putting stress on yourself by intensely challenging yourself to shine. But greatness never came to anyone normal. (Mahatma Gandhi, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Mother Teresa, Albert Schweitzer, Andy Grove and Thomas Edison definitely marched to a different drumbeat—thank God).

I’ve never forgotten the story of the famed explorer Hernando Cortés. He landed on the shores of Veracruz, Mexico, in 1519. Wanted his army to conquer the land for Spain. Faced an uphill battle: an aggressive enemy, brutal disease and scarce resources. As they marched inland to do battle, Cortés ordered one of his lieutenants back to the beach with a single instruction: “Burn our boats.” My kind of guy.

Challenge serves beautifully to introduce you to your best—and most brilliant—self.

How fully would you show up each day—at work and in life—if retreat just wasn’t an option? How high would you reach, how greatly would you dare, how hard would you work and how loud would you live if you knew “your boats were burning,” that failure just wasn’t a possibility? Diamonds get formed through intense pressure. And remarkable human beings get formed by living from a frame of reference that tells them they just have to win.

21
Grow Leaders Fast

One of the training programs that we offer companies to help them get to world class in their marketspace is called Grow The Leader. Organizations all around the world including NASA and pharmaceutical giant Wyeth are using our unique process to increase employee engagement, enhance culture, dramatically boost performance and produce superior business results. Grow The Leader is based on a simple yet powerful concept: The ultimate competitive advantage of your enterprise comes down to a single imperative—your ability to grow and develop leaders faster than your competition. The more quickly you can get every single person in the company demonstrating leadership behavior—regardless of their position—the more quickly you will lead the field. Your race is to grow leaders fast and develop a “culture of leadership” before your competition does.

A leadership culture is one where everyone thinks like an owner, like a CEO or managing director. It’s one where everyone is entrepreneurial and proactive. This means they focus on getting to solutions rather than on the problems. This means they do whatever it takes to keep customers happy. This means they worry about sales and do their part to reduce costs. This means they take personal responsibility for achieving results that move the business forward (whether they run the mailroom or sit in a boardroom). This means they shape culture, stay positive and lead by example. We’ve helped our clients create leadership cultures and the results have been nothing short of remarkable.

The ultimate competitive advantage of your enterprise comes down to a single imperative—your ability to grow and develop leaders faster than your competition.

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