Copyright

4th Estate

An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.4thEstate.co.uk

This eBook first published in Great Britain by 4th Estate in 2019

Copyright © Annie Ridout 2019

Annie Ridout asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

The information in this book is for general guidance only and is not legal advice. If you need more details on your rights or legal advice about what action to take, please see an advisor or solicitor.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins

Source ISBN: 9780008313630

Ebook Edition © January 2019 ISBN: 9780008313647

Version: 2018-12-17

Dedication

For Joni, whose birth prompted me to change the way I work

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Introduction

1. Getting started as a freelance mum

2. Money

3. The daily routine

4. The pram in the hall

5. Fake it till you make it

6. How to stand out on social media

7. Blogging and SEO

8. PR: the best person to do it is YOU

9. Network #IRL (or rather, ‘making friends’)

End note

Reference notes

Acknowledgements

About the Author

About the Publisher

Introduction

I’ve been a freelance mum for the past four years and for me, it works very well. I’m the primary caregiver for my children, but I also support myself financially and contribute to the overall household income. I can afford to buy food and clothes for myself and my kids and I can save up for family holidays. The main issue for me when I first went freelance – at least initially – was money; you don’t have that lovely set lump sum appear in your bank, miraculously, at the end of each working month like a PAYE employee does. However, as I discovered, there are ways to secure a reliable income and establish some financial stability when you work freelance as a mum, and I’m going to teach you how.

This book will walk you through the necessary steps to setting yourself up as a freelance mum. From deciding on your career path to launching a website, social media, getting your name out there and perfecting your brand. I’ve also included a comprehensive guide to the childcare options available to freelance working mums, suggested daily routines for optimum productivity, as well as tips on establishing and maintaining healthy work–life boundaries. Using my own experience, alongside tips and advice from a multitude of other mums who have successfully made a freelance career for themselves, I’ll show you that with hard work and determination, any mother can thrive as a freelancer.

So, why go freelance?

Freelancers were worth £119 billion to the UK economy in 2016.

There are 4.8 million self-employed workers in the UK, making up 15.1 per cent of the UK workforce – and we’ve almost all chosen it for the same reason: flexibility. You can decide your own hours and avoid the slog of a daily commute. But the 79 per cent increase in freelancing mums over the past ten years¹ speaks volumes about where women stand in terms of work and family. Many of us are keen to continue developing our careers after having children, but only if we can find work that fits comfortably around family life.

This desire to find flexible work might well be the reason why 54,000 women in the UK are losing their jobs each year while pregnant or on maternity leave.² The work culture welcomes back new mothers who will continue working just as they did before they went on maternity leave – same hours, some overtime – but request part-time work, and you’re out. This is when setting up as a freelancer becomes less about flexibility and more about necessity. With no job to return to following maternity leave, women might register as sole traders, or launch their own businesses that they can run alongside parenting. And these so-called ‘mumpreneurs’ contribute an impressive £7 billion to the UK economy each year.

It’s not always a smooth transition from PAYE employee to freelance mum, but once you’re up and running, it really does offer flexibility in terms of fitting your career around your family. I lost my full-time, well-paid copywriting job when I left to have a baby, which led to something of a career and identity crash. But I soon realised that my 9–6 Monday–Friday job in east London would have been incompatible with the type of mother I wanted to be. So I flipped my panic into productivity, and when my daughter turned one I launched a digital parenting and lifestyle magazine called The Early Hour.

Three years in, The Early Hour reaches 100,000+ parents a month. I’ve learned how to monetise my online platform and build a career for myself around it – including writing freelance articles for the Guardian, Red Magazine, Stylist and Metro. I’ve appeared on BBC radio and TV, and I spoke at Stylist Live alongside celebrity chef Jasmine Hemsley and the founder of Propercorn, Cassandra Stavrou. The Early Hour has acted as a springboard for me; leading to lucrative consultancy work, well-paid copywriting gigs and being made a partner at women’s app, Clementine. This has been my way of sticking two fingers up to the company who employed me as a copywriter but thought I’d become useless as soon as I gave birth. It was my way of saying, ‘you can take away my job but you can’t take away my power’.

That’s not to say it’s been easy. It hasn’t. I’ve had to learn everything from scratch: accounting, building a website, SEO (getting my website to the top of Google searches), how to do PR – after working out what PR actually is – networking, making contacts, social media, how to monetise my website … Basically, everything that running a small business entails. And all while looking after my two children, who are now aged four and one. But I quickly discovered that motherhood can give women the incredible tool of productivity; you find ways to squeeze work into tiny pockets of time you didn’t even know existed before kids came along.

The thought of leaving behind a salaried job, shared office and daily briefs might feel scary, but if you’re keen to spend more time at home than at work, this is probably the path for you. You might have clients or colleagues you collaborate with in some way, but ultimately, you are the boss. You decide your dress code, what hours you’ll allocate for work and how much time you’ll spend with your kids – or doing yoga, or going for a run. There will be no one checking whether you’re back from your lunchbreak on time. If you want to spend all day with your kids then work in the evenings once they’re asleep, that’s totally viable.

Ultimately, there is no easy option when it comes to balancing motherhood and a career. Leaving your child at nursery when you go off to work isn’t easy. Parenting full-time certainly isn’t easy. But freelancing, as a mum, might just be as close as you can get to finding a comfortable, guilt-free, work–life balance.

1
Getting started as a freelance mum

What should my freelance job be?

You’ve decided to take the plunge and go freelance. Perhaps you’ve left behind a salaried job and want to find work to fit around your kids. Maybe your contract ended when you gave birth, as it did for me. Either way, well done for making this decision. It won’t be easy but it will be fun, as long as you’re working in a field that excites you. So, how to decide on your freelance path?

An exercise I like to do every New Year’s Eve is to envisage the coming year. What would I like to achieve? I think about my career, my family, my social life, my hobbies – everything. And I spend an hour drawing and writing up a detailed plan of my dreams. At the end of 2016, this list included having a second baby, writing articles for the Guardian and Stylist and continuing to spend lots of time with my daughter. All those things happened. As 2017 came to a close, I created a visual representation of my dreams for 2018, which included earning £100,000 and writing a book.

This exercise could help you to decide what you’d like your freelance life to look like. So ask yourself the questions below, then write a list, draw a picture, cut photos out of magazines and create a collage or write a story – whatever feels most natural to you. Committing your intentions to paper makes them much more likely to come to fruition. It’s about having a clear focus and knowing what you’re working towards.

In a dream world:

How many days a week are you working?

What are you doing?

How much are you earning?

Are you alone, or surrounded by people – a team, perhaps?

Where are you working from: your kitchen, a shared workspace, a snazzy office?

How much holiday will you take?

Where will you go?

What will your weekends look like?

Remember, this exercise is about everything you’d like to happen. A common barrier for mothers in terms of establishing a new career path is confidence. Many of us find ourselves questioning our identity after giving birth. You look and feel different; people might suddenly treat you as if you’re less capable in the workplace. But you’re not. You have skills and experience, and now you’re going to put them to good use. So, envisage the lifestyle you’d like to lead, think about your skillset and start planning your dream freelance career.

Francesca McConchie (@cakeofdreams) was working as a PA before having her first baby but she wasn’t happy in her job, wanted to be around more for her children and was fed up with paying extortionate childcare fees. She’d been a passionate baker for years, and had always been complimented on the cakes she’d made for her kids’ birthday parties, so when she started getting enquiries from people who had attended the parties, she decided to start making cakes alongside working as a PA. Once she’d realised how little she was making from her desk job after childcare costs, she decided it wasn’t such a terrifying leap to give cakes a go full-time, so she quit the day job and launched Cake of Dreams – her one-woman baking business. She works while her kids are at school – admin and emails on Mondays, then baking the sponges and making different aspects of the cakes towards the end of the week, usually for collection Friday to Sunday. ‘I do have to get up early on Saturday (and sometimes Sunday) mornings nine times out of ten to decorate them, which kind of sucks,’ she says. ‘But it’s easier now the kids are a bit older and hanging off my legs less!’

Lauren Davies (@thisisheka) trained as a designer at the prestigious Royal College of Art and worked part-time in studios before becoming pregnant with her son, Max. When he was three months old, she had her work exhibited but realised that the pressure of producing original designs while looking after a young child was too much. Instead, she began using her hard-earned knowledge on sustainable design and started to offer this out as a consultant. She was picked up by a forward-thinking agency and began to work two days a week from home – managing with a mixture of paid-for childcare and utilising Max’s nap times. With a high day-rate, this two-day working week enables her to lead a financially comfortable life, while being very much involved in her son’s early years.

Anna Jones – bestselling author, cook and columnist for the Guardian and The Pool – wanted a freelance career that would fit well around motherhood, but also offer variety. ‘I’ve spent my whole life trying to avoid routine,’ she says, ‘which has been a challenge since entering motherhood, as babies like routine. But I can get bored quite easily. I don’t like doing the same thing again and again, so I designed my career so that every day is different. I thrive on that. I’m quite good at being present, which is a good trait for someone who freelances – I’m not worried about where the money’s coming from or what I’m doing each month, I’m just living in the moment.’

For Dr Pragya Agarwal – designer, entrepreneur, journalist and TEDx speaker – it was a different set of circumstances that led to her embarking on her multi-skilled freelance career. ‘Becoming self-employed was not a decision that I took lightly,’ she says. ‘After a career at the top of academia, and facing workplace bullying, stress and burnout, I took a difficult decision to take a break and step away from something that I had worked very hard to achieve. I defined myself through that success and that position, and so this change brought about some loss of self-esteem, confidence and a sense of direction. But it also gave me an opportunity to evaluate what I really was passionate about and wanted from my life, and that was to make a positive change and impact and create a life filled with meaning and purpose that was flexible and gave me back control.’ She now has multiple income streams. ‘This kind of portfolio career suits me because it makes life really interesting and exciting. It has also been good for my mental well-being, as it helps me to keep thinking outside the box and more creatively.’

Whether you turn a hobby into a career, like Francesca; use your experience and knowledge of your industry to offer consultancy, as Lauren does; set up your own shop or small business, like I have; transition into a new but connected phase of your career, like Anna – from chef to food stylist and writer; or find yourself needing a fresh start following an unbearable work situation, like Pragya; it’s about ensuring that you are honing in on everything you’ve learned up until now. You have valuable assets, whatever your previous line of work. So once you’ve worked out what they are, and what your work–life balance should be, you can start making this your reality. All the practical stuff, like childcare, can be considered later. This initial exercise is just about you and your dream freelance career.

Helen Thorn, one half of the Scummy Mummies comedy duo, says:

‘My number-one top tip is to be passionate and love what you do. Don’t just choose the style of working because you think you should or because your friends are doing it. Working freelance is wonderful for its flexibility, but you also face other challenges in terms of irregular income, hustling for work and rejection that you wouldn’t get in other “normal” employment. If you REALLY love what you do, this will get you through those times.

‘One of the most useful things we did a few years into the Scummy Mummies was write down a list of absolutely everything we wanted to do. And I mean everything. And then we chose five to focus on. In the beginning, you’ll be tempted to say yes to everything and be “busy”. But while the money may be appealing, there are no prizes for exhaustion. Think about your business and brand in the long term and what you really want from it. Being successful is about what you say “no” to, as well as what you say “yes” to.’

Passion work vs money work

Now we can get a bit more practical, because while you may have dreams to be a film actor or novelist, it could take time for this to pay. So in the meantime, it might be helpful to look at your freelance career like a tree. The trunk is you; you’re rooted and grounded, standing tall. There are various branches, which might represent the different work you’re doing, but at the end of each branch is a flower – that’s the end goal. It might look and feel as if the branches aren’t connecting, but they are: they are all part of you, and your capabilities, and are linked to your dream career.

For instance, I’m a writer. That’s what I love doing. In fact, one my biggest dreams was to write books. But I didn’t start my freelance career as a published author, that was going to take time. Instead, I sought copywriting work, which paid well. I didn’t have to feature it in my portfolio – some work can just be money work – but I did have to see it as being worthwhile. I focused on the fact that it would be good practice for my later book-writing, as I was finding ways to say a lot in very few words. And I soon learned how to do it.

In time, I built my website, The Early Hour, and this involved editing as well as writing, but also all the techy stuff, social media, cold-calling companies and persuading them to advertise with me. It was loads of work that felt like it veered far from the end goal – writing a book – but they were all branches on my tree. What happened was that I grew a community, and a platform, and this led to me eventually having a pitch accepted by 4th Estate publishers, and the offer of a book deal.

On my journey, I’ve occasionally been asked to do work that I don’t enjoy – like writing the copy for a company whose ethics are questionable, or doing PR for a product I don’t believe in. If I’ve been incredibly strapped for cash, I’ve taken on the work, but now I’m a lot more selective. Experience gives you the freedom to turn down work, which is a wonderful position to be in. The goal is to spend the bulk of your time doing exactly what you love doing: writing, speaking, acting, making music, illustrating, designing, lecturing – whatever it is, you will be able to do almost solely that. Keep those roots watered and the branches strong and, in time, the flowers will bloom and thrive.

Anya Hayes (@mothers.wellness.toolkit) was a managing editor in book publishing before being made redundant. She went freelance temporarily as an editor, because she didn’t have a job to move on to, but also trained as a Pilates teacher at the same time. She was then offered a temporary, self-employed, two-days-a-week desk editor role at Macmillan publishing on a wellbeing imprint. So she did this, while continuing with her training, then stayed in the role while also starting up as a Pilates teacher. It worked really well in terms of balance, though ‘not too well in terms of career progression,’ she says. The job with Macmillan ended, she found work with another publisher and then became pregnant, which, being self-employed, was financially tricky. Since having children (Anya now has two), she’s worked as a freelance editor, Pilates teacher and has written a book: The Supermum Myth. A ‘cobbled-together’ career, says Anya, but one that works in terms of its flexibility, which allows her to work around family life.

Katie Stockdale (@peaceloveandbirth) had been working in fashion before she left to have her baby, but she decided that her maternity leave would be a good time to re-train. So after nine months Katie completed a hypnobirthing course to become a teacher. She then decided she wouldn’t be returning to her previous fashion job at all, so she also trained as a yoga teacher. Of the two, hypnobirthing is more lucrative, though she is breaking even with the yoga. To supplement her more holistic work, Katie is a part-time college lecturer on a fashion-buying course. This balance of regular work related to her previous career, alongside embarking on an entirely new career path, is a great example of how you can utilise your existing experience while also trying out something new.

Anna Jones (@we_are_food) trained as a chef under Jamie Oliver. She was then employed as part of a small team, experimenting with cooking dishes and food styling. In time, she started writing bits for the website. All of this was before Jamie had a huge empire and employed specific people for each aspect of it, which was great for Anna, as she got to try her hand at various career paths stemming from food. Interestingly, from a young age Anna knew she wanted to be a chef but also knew it wouldn’t be compatible with the family life she dreamed about, and this, in terms of her career direction, was a big drive. ‘I knew kids were a way off but I couldn’t see how those two things would ever resolve and work together. I still don’t understand how mums do it – that’s why there are so few at the top of kitchens. You can never be home for bedtime.’ So from the get-go Anna was writing alongside food styling as and when in the hope that one day she’d be able to work from home as a freelancer: writing cookbooks (she’s now had four published), a column (she writes one for the Guardian and another for The Pool). This combination is now her full-time job, which fits nicely around looking after her two-year-old son.

Mollie McGuigan has two children, aged four and one. She left her job as deputy editor of the free daily email website, Emerald Street, after the birth of her second child and she’s now a freelance journalist. ‘Earlier this year I stopped saying yes to every bit of work I was offered and started being more strategic in the work I accepted and pitched for,’ she says. ‘I want a body of work that represents my strengths and interests, a portfolio that has clear direction. It’s meant that I am much more focused and immersed in one area, which has been great for developing ideas and networking. However, it’s also meant I’ve had less work, which has been dispiriting at times. I try to make the quiet times productive: pitching, updating my portfolio, chasing invoices, reading news and features endlessly so I feel tapped into the world, and often it sparks ideas.’

Think big but start small

My dad is an optician and ran a small chain of his own shops when I was growing up, but before that he tested people’s eyes from the bedroom of his and my mum’s flat in the evenings, while working for an established optician in the daytime. He knew that he needed customers if he was going to start his own business. In time, he was able to open his first shop, round the corner from that flat. All the customers whose eyes he’d tested in his bedroom joined him at his new opticians. He did the building work and painting himself, and called in favours from friends. My dad didn’t have start-up funds so he had to keep everything as cheap as possible. Once he was making a profit, he was able to re-design the shop then buy a second one. He grew that business, too, and a few years later he bought a third shop.

He told me about an old friend of his who had also decided to start a business. This guy wanted to be his own boss. My dad advised him to be frugal, at least at the start, and perhaps to even stick with his existing job while trialling the new line of work. Get some clients before you commit to an office space. But this guy didn’t want to hear it; he invested in a fancy central London office and bought a nice car to impress clients. Only, he never got any clients, so the business failed and that was the end of his dream to work for himself.

When you’re finding your feet, keep your spending to a minimum. Whether you’re starting out as a freelancer or launching a new business, if you’re able to set it up from your kitchen table (or sofa/bed), do. I’m now earning enough to pay for a shared workspace, but for me, it’s more important that I keep building my business and freelance career, so I’m still working from a corner of the kitchen table and spending that money in different areas. If I get bored and need a change of scenery, or if my husband’s looking after the kids and I don’t want them to distract me, I pop to a local coffee shop that has wifi.

You might be tempted to spend money on smart clothes when meeting potential new clients. Of course presentation is important, but don’t get carried away; you can look smart without blowing a month’s income on a designer jumpsuit. If you keep your hair washed, your shoes clean and your clothes ironed, that’s probably enough. It’s more important that your personality shines through with your clothes than your income. You’re no more likely to get the pitch in an Armani suit than I am in my £35 Lucy & Yak dungarees. In fact, spending a small fortune on clothes when you have young kids is a waste of money; I bought a lovely pastel-pink cashmere jumper for a talk I was doing and it was soon destroyed by my children’s mucky hands and tugging. So now I’m back in my high-street clothes and affordable ethical brands.

Put simply: don’t spend all your money before you’ve made it.

Holly Tucker MBE, founder of Holly & Co, co-founder of Not on the High Street, launched the now multi-million-pound business from her kitchen table in 2006. I asked how she managed childcare in the early days. ‘He was with me, sleeping under the table!’ she says. ‘I look back on those days with such fondness, because he grew with me and my business in those early years. It was funny, because with launching Holly & Co came more years of hard days and late nights, and Harry was there again, sleeping under the table. My biggest supporter.’

Ask any entrepreneur or superstar freelancer and you’ll hear the same thing: think big but start small.

Getting the ball rolling

Now that you’ve come up with your freelance career focus, you need to turn yourself into a brand. Will your freelance work be under your name, or will you create a more general name? For instance, my copywriting and consultancy work is under Annie Ridout (annieridout.com) while my digital magazine is called The Early Hour. Down the line, you might want to expand your services and have other people work for you, so this is worth bearing in mind. That said, Arianna Huffington had no issue turning The Huffington Post, clearly named after her, into a multi-million-dollar enterprise, so if the brand’s really strong, and the work is respected, that will be what matters most.

Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, said in his autobiography that the idea for his business name stemmed from him being on one of his ‘fruitarian diets’. He’d just come back from an apple farm and thought the name ‘Apple’ sounded ‘fun, spirited and not intimidating’. The name for the BlackBerry phone – the first device that could send and receive emails wirelessly, initially via a pager and later a mobile phone – came about following a brainstorming session with Lexicon consultancy, who are devoted to naming products. Having the word ‘email’ in the title sounded boring so they looked outside of the box, at unrelated things that make people feel good. Someone suggested ‘strawberry’ but it was rejected for sounding too ‘slow’.¹ ‘Blackberry’ was suggested, as the device was black and this sounded snappy. The name stuck and the company rocketed.

So it’s worth having a good think about names and not choosing anything that will make people pigeon-hole you in the wrong way. I wanted The Early Hour to be for both mums and dads, which is why I didn’t use the word ‘mum’ in the title. I decided on the concept of publishing articles early in the morning, at 5 a.m., for parents who were up with their young babies or kids, and the name followed after a brainstorming session with my sister. We listed everything we could think of associated with mornings, early, parenting, babies – and this one stuck. Well, initially we thought of ‘early hours’ but there were too many existing brands with this name. And in the end, we liked that it was more rhythmic-sounding and that it was as if ‘the early hour’ was our hour; we owned it. It also felt this name would still work if the brand expanded to include consultancy, which it has, or other branches of work.

Make it your domain

Before committing to a name for your brand, check whether the domain is available for your website – e.g. theearlyhour.com/annieridout.com – and the social media handles. You can check domains by googling ‘domain checker’ and using one of the sites that pop up. Ideally, you also want your website name to be your handle. Or if your work is under your own name, try to secure social media accounts with your name (e.g. I’m @annieridout on Instagram and Twitter). There’s more on social media in Chapter 6, but for now, I’d recommend Instagram and Twitter for starting out. In terms of finding a business name that you’ll be able to own the domain for, you will need to think outside the box. If you choose ‘The Mummy Blogger’ as your brand name, the likelihood is that both the domain and social media accounts will already have been snapped up. So opt for something more original that you can use across platforms.

When you’re checking domains, you can put in the brand name you’re toying with, followed by .com and you’ll be told whether it’s available or already exists. Ideally, you want the .com, as it’s good for SEO (getting to the top of Google searches, see here) and it’s what people automatically type into Google. But if you’re totally set on a name and can only get .co.uk or .org or .co, it’s not the end of the world. As long as you build a strong brand, website and following, these things will supersede your top-level domain (TLD) – the last few letters of your URL.

Website hosting

Now you’ll need to decide where to host your website. I chose to buy my domain through Tsohost – they have great tech support, and were recommended for me. But I’ve also used GoDaddy, and while they’re more salesy, they’ve been helpful whenever I’ve had an issue. After buying your domain through one of these websites, you can build it from scratch or use a popular platform like WordPress or Squarespace, that allows you to choose a template and slot in all your information without having to know coding. Also, you’ll have full control of your content going forward, which might not be the case if you hire someone to build you a custom-designed website.

The Early Hour is built on WordPress. I had a website whizz friend, Mike Parks, design it, using one of the templates WordPress offer, and a graphic designer friend, Matt Bucknall, design the logo. The two of them worked together to create something I’d like: Matthew did the logo design and the general look of the website – the fonts, features, spacing – and Mike made it happen. They had ideas for little features to add in and make it more original, like the sun that rises as you scroll down when you’re looking at theearlyhour.com on desktop computers.

When choosing between WordPress or Squarespace, each has its advantages. I chose WordPress because it’s been around longer so there are more web developers who know it inside out, and also there are loads of plugins available. Plugins are used to add new features to your website, like social media icons so people can click straight through to your Instagram account, or sharing buttons. Also, pop-up boxes asking people to sign up to your mailing lists. But some people find Squarespace more user-friendly. Creatives often like Wix, as it’s simple to import images and move them around. But if you’re selling products, Shopify might be the one for you.

Email address

You should have at least one email address included when you buy your hosting package so that you can have a [yourname]@[yourwebsite].com. This is crucial in terms of looking professional and legitimate. Having sallybluesocks@hotmail.com isn’t going to cut it. And to be honest, nor is phoebedavis@gmail.com. Get an email address that fits with your website and makes it clear that you are a professional. I’d recommend having [yourname]@ rather than hello@[yourwebsite].com or info@[yourwebsite].com, as this means that when someone’s emailing you; a client you’ve been in touch with before, they can start typing your name and your email address will appear. They won’t automatically think to start trying ‘hello’ or ‘info’, so this will save them time and mean they don’t have to do the annoying job of finding your last email in their inbox and replying to it.

Tech support

If you’re looking for help with the tech side of things and don’t have a pal who can sort you out, PeoplePerHour (peopleperhour.com) is a great website – you add in your job (e.g. I need a WordPress website built/customised) and people will pitch to do the job. You choose who you’d like to work with and agree a fee, then you’re off. It’s particularly useful if you don’t want a long-term commitment but need a job done quickly and professionally. I’ve used it for adding features to my website, like comments boxes under the articles. And get Google Analytics installed, too. That way you can track all traffic to your website and see where people are being referred from. The bulk of your traffic might be coming from Facebook posts, or tweets, and this is helpful to know, so you can see what you’re doing right on that specific platform.

The logo matters

You’ll need an original logo, as the ones that come with WordPress templates won’t be good enough. If, like me, you’re not a designer, call in a favour or pay someone: the visual identity of your brand really matters. Freelance graphic designer Emily Brooks says: ‘A logo represents your business in any format – and people will recognise it as your stamp. It’s like a barcode, and it enables people to track you across all your platforms. The logo should capture the core; the essence of the brand.’ So even if your logo is just one letter, the font and colour and shape will eventually become your visual signature. ‘A logo should be versatile,’ says Emily, ‘it can change over time as your brand evolves.’

When briefing Matthew about the logo for The Early Hour, I said it was a parenting magazine so something playful or that nods to children/family would work well. That it should be unisex, positive and represent the early hours of the morning. He came back with a series of designs – some had a moon in the logo, some had a sun. Interestingly, he’d interpreted ‘the early hour’ as being both the end of the night and the beginning of the day. But I wanted to appeal to parents who are up early, so I opted for the sun. Also, this felt more positive. I love the logo he designed: it’s simple, clean and timeless – it really represents my brand.

On the subject of visual identity, try to avoid using obvious stock images across your website. Either take your own photographs, if you know how to take a good picture, or use a website like unsplash.com or designspiration.net where you can find better-quality (free) photographs. Just check whether you need the photographer’s permission, or to give a credit. Try canva.com (or the related app), which is great for simple picture editing if you don’t have Photoshop. It enables you to create one image containing a selection of photos, so I use it when I have two portrait pictures but need a landscape image for The Early Hour – I put the dimensions in and place the two images side by side. You can choose different backgrounds, or add fonts. This can be useful for creating social media posts (like quote boxes) too.

Branding

Whether you’re starting a small business selling products, or offering out your own services, you’ll need to think about your brand. This includes the visual side of things: the logo, look of your website, brand colour palette (is your website in simple black and white, pastel colours, or brightly coloured?) but also the ethos. What do you want people to associate you and your work with? Are you an eco-warrior practising in sustainable design? If so, this needs to come across in every aspect of your offerings – the copy you use, the design details, your social media accounts. Or perhaps you want to create a gentle, approachable, personal brand that includes lots of behind-the-scenes shots, talking about things that matter to you – such as family or politics? Think about how you want to be viewed and make sure this runs through every element of your business.

Look at other brands that you admire. What is it that you like about their approach? Perhaps they are trustworthy, or respond quickly to feedback and complaints. Maybe their copy is funny and this adds a lighthearted edge to their brand and services. In everything I do, I aim to be punctual, efficient, reliable and good value for money. I like to be approachable in my manner, so this is reflected in the copy I use on social media and across my websites. Other freelance mums are offering high-end bespoke services or luxury products, so, similarly, this will need to come across as soon as you discover them – online, and in person. If you are your brand, it goes as far as the way you dress when you’re networking. What impression do you want to give?

Carrie Anne Roberts, founder of Mère Soeur clothing and accessories brand, started one of the first ‘mama merch’ businesses; selling t-shirts, totes and badges for mothers. She’s built a loyal following on Instagram and runs a tight ship, all while being a single mum to her three-year-old son, River. Carrie shares her branding tips:

i. REALLY think about what your brand means to you and what you want it to mean to other people. Keeping your goals and your message in mind will help you stay on track when doubt creeps in or you’re making difficult decisions.

ii. Not everyone is going to like what you do and that can be a terrifying thought when you’ve put so much work and effort into building a solid brand. Putting your work out into the world can be scary but don’t cave under the pressure or dilute your message or product in order to try to please everyone. Keep your vision and stay focused.

iii. Enjoy it! Brand building can be number/research heavy but it’s also meant to be fun. Don’t stress about having everything in place and completely perfect from the moment you start. Allow yourself time to learn and finesse your style as you go along and grow with your brand.

Anna Jones agrees with this organic approach, building her one-woman brand in the same way from her initial vision:

‘I had a strong idea of how my food should look – the food pics, and the style of cookbook. Especially when writing about vegetarian food, as there was less of it around at the time. And I didn’t want my stuff to be all “hemp trousers and brightly-coloured cafes”. I wanted something calm, clean and well considered. So that’s what I went for. But I’ve never had a brand person advise me, it’s been really organic. I have a group of friends and people I’ve worked with, including my sister, whose creative opinion I trust. They’re engaged in culture, art and design. So I come up with the ideas I think are right for me, that suit me, then I send that out to a limited group of people and get their opinions. That’s how the visual side has grown.’

Spreading the word

You’ve decided what work you’ll be focusing on, bought the domain, built a website, set up the social media channels. Now what? You need to launch: both online and in the ‘real world’. After all, no one will know what services you have to offer unless you tell them. If you’re a perfectionist (I’m not), you might never feel you’re ready to show the world your wares. But remember, you’re at the beginning of this journey. You will be tweaking and improving all the time. So bite the bullet, set a launch date and stick to it. Here’s how to launch as a freelancer …

i. Tell your friends

Hopefully, your friends will be engaged enough with you and your life to know that this has been bubbling up for some time. But don’t be afraid to slip it into new conversations. It can feel awkward for some people, particularly introverts – of which I’m one, I’m more comfortable asking the questions than giving the answers – but you need to learn to talk about yourself. It doesn’t need to be braggy, just saying: I’m so excited, my website’s just gone live! is likely to lead to a conversation about it all. And you’ll then be in your pal’s mind the next time someone asks her for a recommendation in your field.

ii. And your acquaintances

Facebook is a great way to put out feelers. I often have friends announcing their re-branded website, or newly launched business on Facebook. It will usually be followed with: please have a look and let me know what you think, and a request for any copy errors to be brought to their attention. Putting it out on social media like this means no one’s being put on the spot. If someone is interested in your area of work, or in you, they will have a look and give feedback. People tend to like being asked for help – and giving it. It takes so little effort on their part but could be very beneficial to you.

iii. Build excitement on social media

You’ve set up your social media handles but how do you use your channels to announce that you’ve launched? Before going live, upload a series of posts. Not too many, because people probably won’t go back through and read them all, but enough to create a profile that doesn’t look empty and boring. And then do a countdown on all of your channels. This can be a visual countdown – on Instagram and Facebook, with photos of the numbers, counting down from ten days to launch – each day, adding a caption about your business or services, or just about you. Or a written countdown on Twitter.

As an example, let’s take Emma Grant. She recently set up a brand called Binibamba, selling sheepskin rugs and buggy-liners.

On Instagram, she uploaded loads of images, ahead of the launch, so that when you visited her profile, it looked like an established brand. There were photos of the beautiful, luxurious sheepskin rugs, cute babies trialling the buggy-liners, all snuggled up, and behind the scenes shots. Emma introduced herself, and the details of her products (e.g. that they are handmade in England, and hand-cut from 100 per cent merino sheepskin. Also, that each order comes with a free 100 per cent cotton dustbag). And then she started a ‘launching soon’ countdown, getting people excited.

Using Twitter, you can put out a tweet a day, in the lead-up, building the momentum by counting down:

Only five days to go until my website is live … if you sign up to my mailing list now, you’ll be entered into a competition to win a sheepskin buggy-liner with which I’m launching my new brand.

Tomorrow the website will be up and my shop will be open. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s on the lookout for the softest, most beautiful, baby-friendly sheepskin buggy-liners …

It’s about getting people to engage with your brand before you launch. Introducing yourself and your business or services before they are available so that people are thinking: I need a piece of this; I want in.

Do a skills exchange

If you’re starting out with little or no budget, one great way to get professional help without taking out a loan is to do a skills exchange. I did this with the photographer Penny Wincer and it worked so well. I’d gone to Penny asking if she’d be able to take some headshots for me. She offered to do it for free, but I said I’d like to pay her – if not with money, then with my skills. After listening to me being interviewed on a podcast, talking about blogging and writing for the online platform, Penny said, would you be able to help me with my blog, looking at the direction I’d like to take it in and how to get there? I agreed, and after doing a photoshoot together, we had lunch and I gave Penny ideas for taking her blog forward (SEO, content strategy, pitching for related articles in nationals). You have skills that could be very useful for other people, so bear this in mind if you’re looking for help but can’t afford to pay the full price.

Switching from mum mode to work mode and back

If you start out by working when your baby or young child is napping, you’ll find yourself cramming a lot of work into a very small window of time. Just as you get really stuck into what you’re doing, you’ll hear their cries on the monitor. It can make your heart sink. Not because you don’t want to see your kid, but because working can feel like such a nice escape and to have it abruptly cut short is frustrating.

So it can then be hard to switch your mind from work back to motherhood. You will inevitably find yourself quickly rattling off an email while giving your baby their post-nap bottle, or popping on Peppa Pig for an hour so that you can finish a pitch. I think this is fine, though, don’t forget, you’re doing this to support your family, and you’ve chosen a freelance career to fit around family life. It’s not selfish, and it won’t damage them. I remember reading an article about how work and parenting should always be totally separate and then panicking, as mine were very much blended. I now realise this is OK; it’s unrealistic to aim for these two parts of your life to be completely distinct – particularly if, like me, some of your work has a family or parenting focus.

Womenswear designer Kelly Eckhardt agrees. She says that mothers need to feel comfortable with their desire to have a fulfilling career, and that sometimes it will involve work and family time overlapping if there is no childcare in place. ‘Don’t feel guilty for wanting to succeed in your work,’ she says. ‘I personally believe kids should see their mothers succeed; this shows them that women can be loving but also intelligent and super motivated. A happy mum = a happy family.’ It’s for this reason that she advocates occasional screen-time, when necessary. ‘It’s OK to stick your kids in front of a screen for a little while if you need to finish an email or a write-up. We all do this. It’s fine.’

Mère Soeur founder Carrie Anne Roberts says: ‘The hardest thing about juggling work as a single mum is, surprise surprise, finding the time to actually work. If I’m not working I feel like I should be and if I am working I feel like I’m not being as present as I could be for River. There is a constant pressure to excel as a parent and in my career but the balance is difficult to achieve. The one thing that makes it all easier is the fact that I can work to my own schedule and be around for River a lot more than I would be if I’d gone back to work 9–5. As difficult as the juggle can be, I’m beyond grateful for the time I have with him and the flexibility I have from this kind of work.’

Dr Jessamy Hibberd – clinical psychologist, TEDx speaker and author – says: ‘I split my week – three long days working (with some drop-offs/pick-ups with the kids) and then Thursday–Sunday with my family. I do work when they’re asleep when needed, but I don’t check emails/work when I’m with them. I think I find it easier to do one thing at a time. When I’m with the kids I’m with the kids. When I’m at my clinic, I’m seeing people, and when I have my non-clinic time I focus on a project.’

Sarah Turner – founder of The Unmumsy Mum blog, author of two Sunday Times bestselling books and freelance journalist – says that her biggest challenge is living with the constant fear that she’s ‘on call’ for both work and parenting. ‘I never feel like I am doing either job particularly well, as I have a terrible habit of checking work emails when I’m with the kids and checking that the kids are all right when I’m supposed to be working. A big part of this problem stems from the fact that I don’t have a separate office or workspace at home and so very often can still hear the kids when I’m writing from our bedroom (and they know I’m there, so often potter in and disturb me!).

‘At the moment, my husband is taking shared parental leave after the birth of our third baby and so is not working, which means I am free to do more work, but now I have to contend with everyone being at home pretty much all the time. I have been trying to escape to the local library or co-working spaces to allow for better concentration but that presents its own problems, such as when I need to dial in to a Skype meeting or discuss a confidential project I don’t really want to shout about across the library café. I sometimes miss the days of going out to work in the morning, shutting the door behind me and then returning in the evening ready to be “Mum” and not “Mum who’s here all the time but always working”. The reality is that my new work life is so intertwined with my home life that there can never be a clean break or distinction between the two. In actual fact, it’s often our “downtime” that provides the richest material for me to write about and I can’t seem to stop my mind from thinking, “I should blog this!”’

If you’re keen to close the laptop at some point and become ‘mum’ again, here are some tricks for navigating the switch from mum to work mode and back …

– Make yourself a cup of tea or a glass of ice-cold water. Focus on it while you drink. This signals the end of working and back to being a mum. Or the reverse.

– Clementine app has a ‘reset’ recording, which is just five minutes long, that helps you to leave old thoughts behind and move into a new part of your day.

– Allocate the last 10 minutes of working or childcare to transition. So if you’re at your desk, spend 10 minutes preparing to be ‘mum’ again: get a bottle ready for the baby, go to the loo. If you’ve been mum, allow yourself 10 minutes to get into work mode once your child has gone for her nap or to nursery, e.g. read the news on your phone. But don’t get sucked into social media.

– When you’ve finished work, leave your phone at your desk. This prevents the temptation to check emails ‘just once more’ while your child drinks her milk or whatever.

– Do five minutes of stretching. If you’ve been sat at a desk, this will pump energy back into your body, and if you’ve been with your child, it’ll help you to focus on your next task: work.

Most of us are guilty of flicking through social apps on our phones while looking after our kids. If you’re starting to feel guilty about this, you could always try one of the apps for creating barriers between being online and offline. For instance, Moment, which tracks all your online time and updates you at the end of the day. Most of us spend far too much time on social, but having it quantified might just be scary enough to enforce some habit changes. It certainly has for me. At times like the nursery pick-up, I used to push the buggy with one hand and scroll with the other. Now I’m trying to leave it in my pocket and just walk. And see. And think. (And respond when my son sticks his hand out for yet another breadstick.)

Courtney Adamo, co-founder of Babyccino Kids – an international lifestyle website for modern mums – and a mum of five, has discovered the importance of separating family life and work life. ‘While we (women/mums) are good at multi-tasking and can totally cook dinner, answer emails and hold a baby all at the same time,’ she says, ‘I have learned from experience that I work better and feel happier (both in general and about the work I’m doing) when I focus on one task at a time and give it my full attention. Especially the part about being a mum. If I am distracted with my kids, they can totally feel it and everything spirals from there in a negative way.’

Where to work from?

I’ve always been happy spending time alone, so for me it works to set myself up on the end of my dining-room table and type away with a view of the garden. Also, I found this easier to fit around my children’s naps. That said, there were a few months when my son wanted to sleep at the exact same time I had to drop my daughter at nursery, so I’d find myself waving goodbye to her then reclining the buggy and doing some vigorous jiggling until he dropped off. I’d park up by a bench – anywhere – and work on my phone: emails, writing, editing. It wasn’t ideal – mostly because there was no toilet. Or coffee. But going into a cafe was going to wake him from his sleep, so in order to best utilise this time, a bench it was.

I now work from home or my local coffee shop, which has fast and free wifi, excellent coffee and nice cheese toasties for lunch. I rack up a bill of around £12, which isn’t much considering on my work days I might be there from 9.30 a.m. until 3 p.m. Others prefer to use the local library, a shared workspace – some even come with a crèche (there’s a list of these at the end of the book) – or you might be able to make use of the crèche at your gym – half an hour on the running machine, followed by an hour and a half of work.

Something I’ve recently started doing is borrowing a friend’s house to work in. She and her boyfriend are out during the day, Monday–Friday, and they have a cat who likes company. It means I don’t have to commando-crawl out of the kitchen when my son comes home from the Toy Library with his childminder – if he sees me, he doesn’t want to be parted again – but I also don’t have to pay for coffee. This exchange could work well if you have a friend whose dog needs walking. Or perhaps you could spend your last hour cooking dinner for their return? Worth it, for a free workspace.

Lucy Mangan – Stylist columnist, Guardian writer, author – says that her greatest challenge as a freelancer is feeling she’s doing neither work nor motherhood properly. ‘I’d prefer to be doing one thing, as well as I can,’ she says. So attempting to work from home while her seven-year-old son is there can create tension. ‘Multitasking is not my thing,’ she says, ‘especially when I’m doing creative writing. I need long, uninterrupted stretches of time. And a quiet space. But as your child gets older, they become more demanding. They want to spend time with you. Of course they do. But this means I can’t just shut myself in my study, so now I’m working more outside of the home; in the library. I’ve also joined a private member’s club. It’s so lovely to be looked after – people bring you food that you haven’t had to cook, and coffee. It’s tax deductible so I pay £600 a year for my membership.’

Having somewhere to work outside of the home also removes you from a domestic setting, which can be distracting (laundry to be hung out, packages being delivered, etc.). ‘As a freelancer, you need to be more selfish than you feel comfortable with,’ says Lucy. ‘If I’m in the house, I feel all the domestic duties coming at me. But if I leave the house, they can’t intrude on my mental space.’ Of course, working outside of the home means you have less control over your surroundings – including noise. ‘Always carry headphones and white noise to block out irritating sounds,’ she advises. ‘It’s incredibly frustrating when you plan to work on the train for four hours and end up next to someone playing music loudly on their mobile. But white noise will drown them out. Or you can just ask them to be quiet.’

Dealing with isolation

While I’m generally OK with my own company, there were definitely times – particularly in the dead of winter – when my daughter was at nursery, and before my son was born, when the house felt incredibly quiet, and I longed for some human contact. Sometimes, I’d go to the shop just so that I could have a chat with someone. Or phone my sister. When my son was at home with the childminder, I had to vacate, so I’d work in public spaces, meaning I was surrounded by activity. I still go now, if I feel lonely. Although I don’t intend to meet up with anyone – I’m there to work – I’ve actually made friends at my local coffee shop with people who are also freelance, and there to work. So we’ll have a quick chat, or give each other some advice, then get our heads back down. Working in this way – surrounded by other people who are also tapping into their laptops – makes me forget how isolated I sometimes felt when I worked from home.

Sali Hughes – author, columnist for The Pool, Guardian and Empire, and event host – says that the social aspect of office work can be felt as a real loss when you go freelance. ‘Lots of women really struggle when they go freelance with the fact that they’re not in a team any more. They don’t have those water-cooler moments. You have to embrace social media, but know when to stop. Be able to manage the loss of the social aspect.’ She used to enjoy managing people in the workplace, as well as coming in and talking about what was on the telly. ‘But now I’ve got Twitter and Facebook for that,’ she says. ‘After my first baby, it was the isolation that made me go mad. I didn’t know anyone with a baby, so I was really lonely. But after my second baby, there was Facebook – then Twitter. So I had people to talk to. As a journalist, if you’re a freelancer, it’s very solitary. Twitter and Facebook are the office. They’re your colleagues; people you speak to in place of physical co-workers. But then you’re reliant on yourself to stop messing about and get on with work. I strongly advise freelancers to block the internet between certain hours, using software. And if you need bustle, go to a coffee shop.’

Pragya Agarwal – designer, entrepreneur, journalist, TEDx speaker and mum of three, including two-year-old twins – agrees that becoming part of an online community, and using social media for real social interaction, can help to combat the isolation. ‘Working from home can be lonely,’ she says, ‘and I have written extensively for Forbes about how to manage loneliness as a freelancer. There are times when I do not speak to any adult for days, and so it is really crucial for me to have a strong community online. But I also try to go to some networking events when possible.’ (If the idea of ‘networking’ makes you feel panicked, there are lots of tips for making it more bearable – and even fun – in Chapter 9.)

Say yes

At other stages in this book, I’ll talk about the importance of learning to say ‘no’, but when you’re starting up, the big word is YES. Yes, I’d like to tell you about my new freelance business. Yes, I’d like to have a coffee with your sister who’s an editor of a women’s magazine and might be interested in doing a feature on me. Yes, I’d like you to take some flyers and leave them at your work. Yes, I’d like you to wear one of my tote bags to the networking lunch you’re attending. Say yes, and watch where it leads … And if you think it might be a good opportunity, but you’re not sure how, respond as quickly as possible and say: I love the sound of this and it would be great to talk more about it. It’s a way of saying ‘yes’ without saying: let’s do it right this second. Sometimes, you’ll need time to think about what you want, or can (with childcare limitations) commit to. You can ensure that you don’t let opportunities slip away, without making an immediate commitment.

Sali Hughes was working freelance before giving birth to her two sons, so she was already one step ahead in that she was being commissioned for work as soon as she was back at her desk, post-birth. However, she still felt a certain pressure to always say ‘yes’, in order to keep her position as the go-to for all things beauty. ‘The thing about being freelance,’ she says, ‘is that if you’re a successful freelancer, you’ll be fine for work. But there’s a degree of accepting work because you need to be the person who does it. So I’ve always taken on too much; to cement a position. I’m prone to taking on more than other people – than men, than people on desk jobs. But I’ve never missed a swimming gala or school concert, so you take the rough with the smooth. I work much harder than someone at a desk job but they don’t get the benefit of that flexibility.’ So say yes to the opportunities, but decide where your line will be drawn in terms of family commitments.

Meeting potential clients

The above steps – announcing your business on social media, telling your friends and family about it, saying ‘yes’ to as much as possible – all take you towards securing your first clients. You are the best person to sell yourself: you know the ins and outs of your trade, and you are the face of your brand. From now on, you’ll be telling as many people as you can about your business, so you’ll need to refine your elevator pitch. This is a way of explaining who you are, what you do and what you can do for them – all in the time it takes to get from the ground floor to the fifth floor, when they will be (metaphorically) getting out.

As I mentioned earlier, my work has various branches. Let’s take one: I’m editor of The Early Hour. My elevator pitch, to a potential advertiser on my website – let’s say an organic kids’ food company – would be this:

I’m Annie Ridout, founder and editor of digital parenting and lifestyle magazine The Early Hour. I put out articles at 5 a.m., for parents who are up early. I’ve grown a loyal following of parents who love thoughtful, ethical products. Like yours.

She might then say: Oh really. I’d love to hear more about what you’d charge for advertising but I’m rushing to a meeting. Can I take your email address? THIS IS THE IMPORTANT BIT: say, how about I take yours? This way, you won’t risk her forgetting about you and never making contact. Once she’s out of the elevator, or has hopped off the train – wherever it is that you are – compose an email: was great meeting you, Laura. Would love to talk more about how we could work together. Let me know when’s good to chat.

Also, if you know people working in your industry, offer to take them for coffee, or lunch, as you’d love to hear more about what they do and how they do it. Then tell them about what you’re doing. Always ask lots of questions, people will be flattered if you’ve done your research and know about them and their work. Showing an interest will make them warm to you. Shouting about you and your own work won’t. And remember to be open-minded – when you meet clients in their office, be friendly to everyone you meet: there could be someone else within the company looking for your services at a later date.

Mailing list

You need to stay in contact with all these people you’re meeting online and in person, and telling about your services, so get their email address and ask if it’s OK to add them to your mailing list. This is a valuable asset for any company: being able to land directly in people’s inboxes, rather than having to hope they’ll see your post on social media. Having a box pop up on your website asking people to subscribe is a simple way to get sign-ups. There’s more later on about growing your mailing list, and when and how to contact your subscribers. But in the initial stages, just get people signed up whenever you can (with their permission).

When am I going to work?

Once you have grown your freelance career and have paying clients, you’ll be able to decide whether you’d like to commit to paying for childcare for your children. This will vary from parent to parent. But when you’re starting up, you’ll need to be prepared to work in the evenings, once the kids are in bed and when they’re napping (kids’ sleep routines are covered in Chapter 3). This also extends to weekends, if you can enlist a partner or grandparents who are willing to help out. Remember, you’re right at the start of this journey. It’s going to be hard work but it will be worth it when the money’s streaming in and you have the option to outsource some of the childcare. Chapter 4 will go into more detail about the childcare options available.

Don’t burn out

While it’s important to commit lots of time and energy to your freelance work, you will need to practise self-care, too. It’s very tiring being a mum, it’s very tiring working alongside motherhood, it’s very tiring setting up as a freelancer. But you might find it beneficial to re-frame what you consider a ‘break’ to be. For instance, I was invited to go on a mum and baby retreat in Hampshire recently. It was two days and a night of yoga, healthy food, massages and inspiring activities. It sounded heavenly, but my husband couldn’t take two days off work, and it landed on the two half-days my son was with the childminder so I’d have had to still pay her even if he came with me. Someone needed to collect my daughter from preschool. I had a book to write. So I said no.

However, writing a book while continuing to run The Early Hour, write freelance articles and produce commercial copy takes up a lot of my energy. And as soon as I finish work, I’m on mum duty. I don’t get a break until they’re in bed. And then I open my laptop and work. So really, I don’t stop until I go to sleep. But what I’ve found is that stealing tiny pockets of time for myself makes it all bearable. For instance, I hop in a really hot bath five minutes before the kids to soak alone before adding cold water and pulling them in with me. I go for a 10-minute run in the morning. Once I’ve finished work in the evening, I read a novel for five minutes before lights out. This is my ‘me-time’. I’d love to have the massages and weekend spa retreats but it’s just not doable so I find time for myself in smaller, more manageable ways.

BBC documentary presenter Cherry Healey is a single mother to her two kids, aged eight and four. She works three or four days a week, depending on where and what she’s filming, and they spend the weekend as a family. ‘What I really like is a Saturday with no plans,’ she says. ‘I’ll go out on a Friday after work if I’ve already missed kids’ bedtimes, and I’ll go for dinner, with my boyfriend, or go dancing. But Saturdays are about going to the park, iPads, lolling about. Doing the laundry. We very rarely go away for the weekend. Lazy weekends at home are important for my mental health. Sometimes I feel I should be doing more with the kids but one thing I’ve learned is that it’s the times I make loads of effort that they end up crying because I didn’t get them something from the shop. Keep it simple, and local.’

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