# The Devious Book for Cats: Cats have nine lives. Shouldn’t they be lived to the fullest?

Collective work

Cats once were proud, shrewd, independent animals who lived life on our own terms. But then came a life of domestication, comfort and free health care. And now cats are in danger of losing our sense of adventure completely. Fluffy and Bonkers say it's time to fight back and regain control of your rightful place as ruler of the roost once again.Cats once ruled the alleys, galleys and the valleys. Rodents trembled in fear. Birds steered clear. Cats took chances. Some lived fast and died young… We were on the prowl.But then came a life of domestication that was simply too good to pass up. Humans gave us everything we desired, from ear massages and shelter from the rain to cuddle sessions and free health care. In return, they were permitted to bask in the majesty of our presence. It seemed like a fair trade.Or was it? Has domesticity really been good for cats? What has become of our sense of adventure, our sense of independence? Did you know that because of boredom and indolence, the average feline today uses up a mere 2-3 of its 9 lives?Fluffy and Bonkers think its time to get out of the comfortable back seat of life and regain control of your destiny. They created this manual to teach discerning cats how to wake up a human when they want to get fed, how to stare like a pro, how to carry yourself in a catfight and - most importantly - how to get away with practically anything. With The Devious Book for Cats you can return to the noble creature you once were and assume your rightful place as the ruler of your household once again.

## The Devious Book. for Cats. Fluffy and Bonkers

With the Assistance of

Joe Garden, Janet Ginsburg,

Chris Pauls, Anita Serwacki

and Scott Sherman

Illustrations By Emily Flake


For Jim Davis

## Table of Contents

Cover Page

Title Page

Dedication

FOREWORD

Reasons You Meant to Do That

The Art of Swiping Food

Cardboard Boxes

Extraordinary Cats in History – Part I

Cats and Arch-Villains

Groom, Groom, Groom, Groom, Groom, Groom, Groom

The Laws of Petting

Secrets of Daredevil Cats

Wake Up!

Stowaway Stories

Relatives and Ancestors

Choosing the Perfect Gift

What’s in There?

Hunting Wild Game

Cat Litter Explained

For Black Cats – Making the Most of Superstition

Shelf Swat

The Legend of the Crazy Cat Lady

Felinism

An Illustrated Guide to Napping

Extraordinary Cats in History – Part II

Catnip

Organizing an Effective Secret Mission

Egypt: The Land We Once Ruled

The Window

Catfight! Five Moves You Should Know

Careers for Cats

Dogs

How Emma Found Home

Getting Away With It

The Three Stages of Transcendent Contentment

Life in the Barn

Staring Like a Pro

Maintaining Your Quality of Life If Declawed

What to Do When You’re Stuck up a Tree

Toying with Allergy Sufferers

Keeping the Mystery in Your Relationship

The Vacuum Cleaner: A Vortex of Terror!

Extraordinary Cats in History – Part III: Semper Feline

The Scratching Post and Other Postmodern Forms of Control

Your Attention Span

Fat Cats

Getting Something You Really Need

Extrasensory Pussycats

Booby-Trapping the Home

In Defence of Your Discriminating Palate

Your First Cat Tree – Making the Leap

The Pros and Cons of Being Sullen

Outsmarting Your Toys

Planning Your Next Holiday

The Nine Lives of Mr Moggy

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Copyright

About the Publisher