Two hearts. One home?

Ellie Laing has a very good reason to want to stay single: her last relationship put her in danger. And she’s worried that while the physical scars will heal, the emotional ones never can. So, travelling to Kansas for her best friend Sandy’s wedding, Ellie’s in need of some time alone. And Sandy’s brother Ben’s rural and idyllic ranch seems like the perfect place for it.

Ben comes with his own baggage – a failed marriage in his past, and a big question mark over his future – and he knows the feelings he had for Ellie belong firmly in the history books. But, sitting on his porch with her, he’s never felt more at home.

Both of them swore they were better off alone … yet is it possible that two broken hearts could come together to heal?

About the Author

Maxine has wanted to be a writer for as long as she can remember and wrote her first (very short) book for school when she was ten. As time went by, she continued to write, but ‘normal’ work often got in the way. She has written articles on a variety of subjects, as well as a local history book on Brighton. However, novels are her first love.

In August 2015, she won HarperCollins/Carina UK’s ‘Write Christmas’ competition with her first romantic comedy, Winter’s Fairytale.

Maxine lives on the south coast of England, and when not wrangling with words loves to read, sew and listen to podcasts. Being a fan of tea and cake, she can (should!) also be found doing something vaguely physical at the gym.

Twitter @Scribbler_Maxi

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Readers love Maxine Morrey!

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No Place Like Home
MAXINE MORREY

HQ

An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

First published in Great Britain by HQ in 2019

Copyright © Maxine Morrey 2019

Maxine Morrey asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

E-book Edition © May 2019 ISBN: 9780008318512

Version: 2019-02-25

Table of Contents

Cover

Blurb

About the Author

Praise for Maxine Morrey

Title page

Copyright

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Acknowledgements

Extract

Dear Reader …

About the Publisher

To those readers who have ever messaged me to say how much they’ve enjoyed one of my books, you totally made my day. Thank you.

Chapter 1

Ellie’s back went rigid as the door slammed. Quickly pulling the bedroom door closed, she turned as a bunch of keys were thrown down on the hall table.

‘You’re home early.’

‘Problem with that?’ Carl sneered in a voice thick with sarcasm and alcohol. Ellie swallowed and tried to push back the panic she felt rising within her.

‘I just lost a bloody contract I’ve spent the last six months fighting for to some hot shot who just happens—’ he made inverted commas in the air with his fingers ‘—to be the son of the boss’ golf partner!’ He poured himself a triple whisky and threw it back, grimacing as the liquid seared its way down.

‘Shit!’ Carl spun and slammed the glass against the far wall. Ellie jumped and he turned his eyes on her. The fear he saw there seemed to only infuriate him more.

‘S’pose you think I had it coming?’

Ellie shook her head and backed away. His eyes had turned almost black with fury.

‘No! Of course not. I know you worked hard on it!’ Ignoring her protest, he grabbed her arm. Ellie winced.

‘Don’t think I’m good enough to get the contract? Think the little shit probably deserves it?’

‘No!’ she said, trying to pull away. ‘You know I don’t think that!’

‘Don’t bloody lie to me!’

The slap split her lip and sent her tumbling backwards into the drinks cabinet, smashing glasses and sending bottles crashing to the floor. Ellie stared at the mess in shock.

‘You clumsy cow,’ Carl ground out as he began to advance again.

Her head snapped up and she stared at him for a moment. His face was red and contorted in fury, with no sign of the anger abating. It had been the same last night when she’d begged him to stop. But he hadn’t. That was why she was finally leaving – something she knew she should have done a long time ago. But he wasn’t supposed to have been home for hours yet. Carl raised his fist. Scrambling to her feet, Ellie screamed, half running, half stumbling into the hall. Behind her, the fist connected with the doorframe.

‘Shit! You little bitch!’

Her hand was on the latch of the front door. A gap to escape opened but Carl was too fast.

‘I don’t think so,’ he sneered, slamming the door with such force that one of the stained-glass panels within it shattered. The momentary distraction enabled Ellie to push away but Carl caught her hair, balling it in his fist. Her hands went to his as she screamed again in pain and fear, begging him to stop.

The next punch sent her reeling into the hall table. She tried to steady herself unsuccessfully as the table tipped, its contents spilling onto the floor.

‘Now look what you’ve done.’ The voice, thick with alcohol and hatred, was close again as Ellie tried to get up. There was a crack as his handmade, Italian leather shoe connected with her ribs.

‘Get up!’ Carl screamed at her as she lay sobbing on the floor. She didn’t move. Couldn’t move. ‘I said, get up!’ he shouted, hauling her up viciously. Ellie saw the punch too late as his fist slammed into the side of her face and sent her back hard against the wall. She tried to find the strength to keep upright. Keep off the floor. But she couldn’t. The pain of the attack, on top of last night was too much. As much as she wanted to fight, she had nothing left. Her legs gave way and she slid down into a ball as her focus blurred and the tears soaked her cheeks. All she wanted was to sleep. Through the fog she could hear voices. Someone was calling her name.

‘And stop fucking crying!’ Carl loomed in again.

*

Ellie tried to open her eyes. Someone was holding her hand. She looked up and made an effort to focus on the face looking down into hers.

‘Hello,’ the policeman said.

She tried to sit up but he put a hand gently against her shoulder.

‘You just lie still, sweetheart. The ambulance will be here in a minute.’

‘I don’t need an ambulance,’ Ellie croaked out, but she didn’t move. The policeman smiled at her. He had a nice smile. Kind.

At the moment the smile was hiding the fact that he wanted to tell the young woman next to him that she didn’t have to take this. Blokes like that bastard they’d just hauled away to the station didn’t deserve to walk the earth. The neighbour who’d called them had been almost hysterical, swearing that the man was going to beat his girlfriend to death this time. She could see it all, she’d said, through a broken pane in the front door.

Luckily, they’d been close to the apartment block when the call came across. The caller’s urgency had ensured they’d hurried their pace which was just as well. Forcing the door, they’d managed to pull the man off just in time. He’d been aiming a blow to the young woman’s head that may well have ended the dispute once and for all.

The police sergeant glanced around at the disarray of what was obviously a lovely flat. Modern and spacious, it was in a nice area in London’s Canary Wharf, with stunning views of the city from the large, floor to ceiling windows. Judging by its location, and the items in it, the occupants were doing pretty well for themselves. His eyes fell on a picture that had fallen from the hall table. The glass in the frame had smashed and as he picked it up, shards tinkled onto the polished wooden floor.

She was almost unrecognisable. The photograph showed a laughing, carefree woman with bright green eyes and long, red hair being whipped by the wind. He looked back down. The hair was much shorter now, though still fiery red, the fragile beauty masked beneath layers of bruising and blood.

‘Wonder if this was what started it, Sarge.’ The other policeman had been surveying the apartment as they waited for the ambulance. His partner craned his neck round to look through into the bedroom where the other officer was standing. Two suitcases were packed and the room had been cleared of any female touches.

‘Seems like she wised up.’

Turning back to the semi-conscious figure on the floor, his colleague moved a strand of hair, sticky with blood, from across her eye. ‘Yeah. Just not soon enough,’ he replied sadly as a wailing siren began to close in.

*

Ellie blearily opened her eyes. Rather she opened one. The other remained swollen and shut.

‘Zak?’ she squeaked out. Her throat was sore and tasted funny. Like blood.

Across the room, a mop of floppy blonde hair in a chair started out of a doze. Zak scooted the chair up to the bed and took her small hands in his.

‘Ellie! How are you feeling?’

Ellie raised her one working eyebrow.

‘Sorry! God! Stupid question.’ There was a pause. ‘Bloody hell, Ellie, you look dreadful.’ At least he was honest.

‘Thanks. I feel dreadful.’

‘Sorry.’

‘It’s OK. I think we’ve known each other long enough to be insulting. Why change the habit of a lifetime?’ She tried to smile in a way that involved the least amount of muscles as possible.

‘The police are charging him with resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer for a start.’

Ellie nodded, as he continued. ‘They said they’ll be in touch with regards to any charges you want to press.’ He paused. ‘Ellie?’

She knew what was coming. Zak was her closest friend this side of the Atlantic, ever since she had joined his infant publishing group as a contract illustrator seven years ago – an endeavour which had since gone from strength to strength.

Initially Ellie had to admit that she’d thought Zak was the clichéd public-school-boy type who had been given a company to play with by a rich daddy. She soon realised that she’d been too hasty in her assessment of his character. The money to start the company had indeed come from his family but it was in the form of a business loan, to be paid back with interest, just as a standard bank loan would have been. Zak’s father had built up his own very successful business from nothing and Zak intended to do the same. The only thing his father was prepared to offer for free was advice, and then only when it was requested. But Zak had worked hard and his business was doing well, and they were currently in the process of recruiting several more staff.

‘No.’

‘No what?’

‘I’m not going back to him. That is what you were going to ask, isn’t it?’ Ellie turned her bloodshot eye on him.

‘Yes. It was.’ Relief flooded Zak’s face, as he tenderly found an un-bruised piece of Ellie’s and kissed it, very gently squeezing her hands. Ellie looked back at his handsome face. Normally it was full of smiles and laughter, but now it was filled with concern. Concern for her. It was the catalyst she needed. A big tear plopped onto the starched sheets.

‘I’m so sorry!’ she sobbed, emotion breaking her voice. ‘I should have listened to you. I should have left before. It’s just that he would apologise and he seemed to mean it. He really did and then …’ The sobs became more continuous, painfully wracking her broken ribs.

‘I know darling, I know,’ Zak soothed as he stroked her hair. ‘I know.’

*

Three days later, Ellie was released from hospital. Zak collected her and they drove back to his apartment.

‘I am quite capable of being on my own, you know,’ she said, leaning against a countertop in the large kitchen of his Kensington apartment.

‘I know that,’ he replied, glancing back at her bruised face as he poured freshly brewed coffee into two bone china mugs. ‘I just don’t want you to be at the moment.’ He handed her one, taking in her expression as he did so.

‘Indulge me just for a bit,’ he said/ ‘After all, isn’t that what friends are for!’ he asked before proceeding to sing an appropriate line or two in his best, not-very-good Dionne Warwick voice.

‘Zak!’

‘Please. Just for a while.’

Ellie sighed. ‘OK. So long as you promise not to sing.’ Taking her drink, she headed through to the living room and eased herself down on the squashy sofa. Zak followed and sat opposite on its twin. He was wearing his ‘mortified’ face.

‘I’m hurt.’

‘I’m serious.’

‘Fine. Fine,’ he mumbled before his face suddenly brightened. ‘How about humming? I’m pretty good at humming. Or whistling?’ He pursed his lips and blew a few notes before a cushion landed square on his nose. Picking it up, he gave Ellie a wry brow raise. ‘I’m taking it that was also a no.’

‘You’re tone deaf and dogs are beginning to howl, so yes, that was most definitely a no.’

*

‘Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.’

‘Hmm?’

Zak placed a mug of tea on the low table next to the sofa.

‘What time is it?’

‘Just after seven.’

‘Really?’ Ellie sat up. ‘You should have woken me.’

‘Why? There was nowhere you needed to be. Besides, I think a few snoozes are allowed after what you’ve been through. In fact, I’m pretty sure they’re vital.’ Zak was concentrating on dunking a biscuit in his tea.

Ellie smiled. He really was a sweetie. Why on earth she had picked someone like Carl over someone like Zak, she had no explanation for. Not that she and Zak would ever date. They’d just never felt like that about each other. It had been a familial relationship from the first time they’d met. And she was glad. Zak meant the world to her and she certainly wouldn’t have wanted a relationship gone bad resulting in her losing both her lover and her best friend.

‘I spoke to – oh bugger!’

‘What?’

He held up half a biscuit. ‘My biccie broke off!’

Ellie giggled at his forlorn face. ‘Oh, poor Zakky!’

He stuck out his tongue and took another biscuit from the jar he’d plonked on the table alongside their drinks. Showing it to her first, he popped it whole into his mouth in an exaggerated motion.

‘Zachary Benton! Just wait until I tell your mother!’

‘What?’ he asked innocently, chocolate brown eyes full of question, mouth full of chocolate biscuit.

‘For someone with such a privileged upbringing, you have some appalling habits.’

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ he replied, pretending to pick his nose.

Ellie stifled a smile, instead attempting to give the impression she was pointedly ignoring his actions. Zak knew her too well to be fooled but it was the principle. ‘You spoke to whom?’

‘Oh! Sandy. She rang this afternoon at the office as she’s been trying to get hold of you. I gave her a very quick rundown – I didn’t think you’d mind – and explained that your phone had got damaged.’

Ellie’s phone had been in her pocket during Carl’s last attack and had ended up, like so many other things, shattered into pieces. Zak had ordered her a new one to help take his mind off things while he’d waited in the hospital but it had just sat in the box after its arrival as Ellie told him she wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone. Zak finally got it out and set it up anyway, partly as a way to keep his mind busy but also knowing that eventually she would want a phone.

‘She was going to ring here but I thought you might be asleep so I gave her your new mobile number and said you’d call her when you woke up.’ He saw her hesitation. ‘I said you’d probably prefer a voice call for now, rather than your usual video chat and she was fine with that.’ Ellie nodded, her eyes averted.

‘Erm, El?’

She looked up at him. ‘Oh no.’

‘What?’

‘You have that look?’

‘What look? I don’t have a “look”.’

‘Yes, you do. It’s that look that says, “I know you’re not going to like what I’m about to say but I’m going to say it anyway because I think I’m right.”’

‘Oh,’ he said. ‘That look.’

‘Yes. That look.’

Zak let out a breath through his teeth. ‘OK. Sandy and I were talking and we thought it might do you some good to go and stay with her for a couple of weeks. You know, help with the recuperation, get away from everything.’

‘I don’t need to get away from everything. In fact, I was planning to come back to work next week.’

‘You can still work out there if you want. Your job is pretty portable.’ She moved to reply but Zak stopped her. ‘Ellie, I think this would really be good for you at the moment.’

‘Well, I don’t!’ she snapped. ‘I am coming back to work on Monday. The bruises will have healed more by then and I’m sure everyone already knows what happened anyway.’

‘Ellie, come here.’ Zak stood in front of the antique mirror that hung above a console table. Suddenly the bravado left her.

She shook her head. ‘No. I don’t think I want to.’ Tears unexpectedly pricked the back of her eyes.

Crossing the room, Zak gently put his arms around his friend and led her to the mirror, his arms remaining solid, supportive and tender. Ellie studied his face in the glass – his floppy hair forever in need of a cut, the kind, soft brown eyes, and aquiline nose above a generous mouth. She then forced her gaze to move to her own reflection. It was worse than she had expected. Her left eye was still closed and a mélange of blue, purple and yellow shades. Butterfly stitches held together a cut on her temple about two inches long and her cheekbone was beginning to turn from purple to green. Her lip was still partly swollen with a dark line showing where the split was starting to heal. Zak felt her breath hitch and knew that she had seen enough. He led her back to the sofa. She sat and he swung her legs up and laid the blanket back over them. ‘What about all the people on the plane and at the airport? I don’t want anyone to see me. They’ll stare, even when they’re pretending not to. You know what people are like. I’m like a human car crash. They can’t help it.’ She lifted her head and met Zak’s eyes. ‘I don’t want to be stared at Zak. I feel hideous.’

‘You are not hideous!’ Zak’s voice rarely took on a stern tone but it did now, derailing Ellie’s panicky train of thought. She looked up into his face, its expression serious now.

Her eyes were wary and he had flashes of her looking at Carl like that. His stomach roiled at the fact that they’d nearly lost her this time at the hand of that …

He stopped himself, refusing to let his mind go down that road again. Instead, bringing his thoughts back to the present, Zak gently shuffled Ellie’s legs up as he sat down on the end of the sofa.

‘You underestimate me once again.’ A mischievous grin tickled his lips. ‘Have you forgotten that I am renowned for my cunning plans!’ Ellie smiled in spite of herself. ‘Wait here a moment. I shall return!’ Zak disappeared, before making a dramatic swoosh of an entrance back into the room a moment later with a pair of stylish, oversized sunglasses and a baseball cap, the latter of which he popped on her head. ‘There’s a ticket to Dallas booked for you in business class and, if you want, you can just put the sleep mask on when you’re snoozing and keep the glasses on at other times. They’re dark enough to hide your black eye but not so dark you’ll be tripping over things.’

‘You are too good to me.’

‘No, I’m not.’ He gave his friend a gentle hug. As much as he would miss Ellie, he knew this trip back to see her childhood friend, and the place she grew up, was exactly what she needed right now.

Chapter 2

Ellie fastened her seatbelt and looked out of the window. She had a connecting flight to make in Texas but hidden behind the sunglasses and cap, she felt a little more relaxed, safer from peoples’ enquiring eyes. Now that she was actually going, she couldn’t wait to see Sandy.

Sandy Danvers was Ellie’s oldest and dearest friend. When Ellie was seven, her father had been promoted which meant a move from London to Kansas. He’d worried initially how his shy daughter, their only child, would deal with the transition from their busy London life to one that would be far more rural, not to mention uprooting her from her friends. He needn’t have worried.

The company found them a beautiful house with a huge garden – or yard, as his liaison had informed him it was called – and, apparently, the neighbours were quite delightful. Having dealt with plenty of sales people over his career, Andrew Laing had taken this with a large pinch of salt. But once they’d arrived, he’d had to concede that it hadn’t just been good sales patter. The neighbours, Mr and Mrs Danvers, really were delightful. A family of six, their eldest two boys were at college so only home on holidays. The next one down was a boy, Ben, who would be going off to college in a couple of years’ time and their youngest was a girl of Ellie’s age, Sandy. She’d immediately taken his daughter under her wing, as her parents had done with him and his wife.

Eight years on, another promotion meant that the Laings would be returning home to England. Andrew knew that any job he took would be easier than telling his daughter that they were leaving Kansas – and so it had proved. Promises of long summer vacations and Easter breaks had done nothing to ease the pain for either of the distraught teenagers. They’d been inseparable almost since the day the Laings had moved in. Forcing them apart had given him more than one sleepless night, wondering if taking this new position had been the right thing to do.

Now, Ellie watched the little luggage trucks whizzing around on the tarmac outside the plane’s small oval window as her mind drifted back to the time she’d had to tell her best friend her family was moving back home. It was funny. She remembered saying those exact words all those years ago. And yet, sitting on the Danvers’ front swing with Sandy, she’d already felt like she was home.

As much as they knew their parents had hoped they’d come to terms with it, two weeks after the announcement had been made, Ellie remembered them still moping together on that same swing when Sandy’s older brother, Ben, had returned home from a day out with friends. After finishing his music degree, he’d returned to the family home while pursuing his dream of becoming a professional musician. He played as part of a band that was popular at functions, and was always writing and recording songs, but over the past year he’d also been spending more time out in Nashville. Nine years younger than Ben, Sandy was the baby of the family and as such had always been a little protected, especially by him. Ellie knew her friend missed her big brother when he was away, but she was wise enough and had a big enough heart to know that was where he needed to be in order to follow his dream. Ellie, however, knew that they had both been thankful to see his kind, handsome face that day. She cast her mind back now to how he’d done his best to comfort them that day.

*

Looking ahead to the porch, Ben saw his teenage baby sister and her best friend Ellie resting against each other on the porch swing. A soft early evening Kansas breeze ruffled Sandy’s dark, and Ellie’s red hair as they sat in silent sadness. Ben mounted the steps, gave them another glance and took a chair opposite with a sigh. Two pairs of eyes flicked up to his. Sandy raised her eyebrows in a ‘hey’. Ellie half smiled but her jewel green eyes remained sad.

‘Hey.’ Silence.

‘I guess Mom and Dad already did the vacations and stuff speech, huh?’

Sandy gave a shrug with the level of indignation only capable of a wronged teenager. ‘It’s not the same, Ben.’

‘No, I know, but sometimes we have to take what we get and make the best of it.’

The two girls looked up at him again. Sandy adored Ben but this didn’t prevent her giving him a fifteen-year-old’s disdainful ‘What?’ look.

‘And don’t give me that look either. It’s just that things aren’t always easy and I know this is really hard for you two but at least there are the vacations – think how jealous all the other kids will be when you tell them where you’re spending yours! Pretty cool to have your best friend abroad. You’ll get to visit each year, travel without your parents, have cute accents that boys’ll like …’

His words percolated in their brains for a few moments and Ben saw the slightest flicker of change in their demeanours. The girls added a couple of their own thoughts and very gradually started to see a few possible upsides of the situation – though obviously they would still have preferred Ellie to remain in the States and thought it vastly unfair of everyone involved to tear them apart. That was a rock solid fact that would never change. Ben stood and left them to the plans they were now making about where they would go together in London. One hand on the front door handle, he threw a look back.

‘Hey?’

The girls looked up.

‘Don’t say anything to Mum and Dad – or you, Ellie – about what I said about boys and cute accents. OK?’

Two grins full of metal braces were his reply – and reassurance.

Disappearing into the cool of the house, Ben smiled wryly to himself and shook his head. Those two were going to be heartbreakers, accents or not.

*

Ellie wearily took her seat in the jet that would now take her from Texas to Kansas, where Sandy would meet her. She didn’t usually manage to sleep too much on planes but it seemed this time her body planned to take advantage of any opportunity it had to grab some extra rest, and she’d dozed on and off on the initial flight. At least Ellie had no worries of having to wait around at the airport for a while – Sandy was a stickler for punctuality. Always had been. Ellie laid her head back against the seat as the engines gained power and forced the jet into the sky. It was over a year since she had seen Sandy in person. The time just seemed to fly by and they hadn’t been able to firm up any plans for visits. Not to mention that planning much at all hadn’t been easy since she’d been with Carl. He’d never liked her seeing any friends or doing anything that didn’t involve him. She swallowed and pushed him out of her mind. There was no need for him to be in her thoughts now. He’d already taken far too much from her. She steered her mind in a more pleasant direction.

With Sandy, for the moment, still living at home in the large family house, something Ellie knew both she and her parents were loving, Ellie would also get to see Molly and Ted Danvers, Sandy’s parents. As the friends had last met up over in England, it was now over two years since Ellie had seen the people she considered her second family, and she loved hearing about the rest of the family, and the pride that rang in their voices as Molly and Ted spoke about Sandy and their boys.

Her mind drifted to the brothers. The eldest had already been at college and living their own lives when the Laings had first moved out to the States, but they had got to know them over the holidays and Joseph and Matt were both pleasant, witty and intelligent.

‘Lovely manners,’ her mother would always say after talking to any of the Danvers’ offspring.

But Ben was different, and that special bond he and Sandy had made the relationship different too. This was no doubt helped by the fact that his easygoing manner resulted in his giving them rides all over town once he’d passed his driving test. Sandy idolised Ben and everyone knew the feeling was mutual. They were even closer in looks than their brothers. Although there was no mistaking the three men were brothers, Ben’s colouring more resembled his father’s and thereby Sandy’s. Joe and Matt were both blonde-haired blue-eyed All-American boys, whereas both Sandy and Ben’s hair was dark. Sandy had also inherited her father’s soft brown eyes but on this the two differed, and Ben, as with his brother’s, followed the maternal line of a pale ice-blue. The clear intensity of them combined with almost black hair made a truly striking combination.

Ben’s dreams had also been far removed from that of all his siblings. Matt and Joe had both studied business and were now well established in the family company. Sandy had shown a keen business acumen at an early age and declared her intentions to study law, encouraged by Ben’s best friend Tyler. Her wish was to then join the legal team at the family firm but she knew she’d have to prove herself worthy, and wouldn’t just get a job there because of who she was. A bad lawyer could cost the business, and therefore her family, a lot of money. Sandy had approached her studies seriously. She’d been interviewed by the business’ legal team along with other candidates for the position. Sandy had been top of her class, and had the quickest, smartest answers of all of them and was now part of the family firm, as per her dream.

The youngest son was the only one who’d never shown the slightest interest in business. Ben’s heart had always been in music. He liked nothing better than to sit out on the porch swing quietly playing a tune he’d written or a favourite he’d heard on the radio. Although only next door, the girls were always sleeping over at one another’s houses, and they would lie in their beds as the warm Kansas wind gently sucked the curtains in and out, listening to the quiet strums of Ben’s guitar and the whispered lyrics as he unintentionally soothed them to sleep.

Ellie thought about Ben. Tall, kind, gorgeous and now married to a model he’d met at a charity function their band had performed at. She hadn’t seen him for years. His devotion to music had paid off and he was now the lead guitarist in a successful country band. They’d already had two number ones in the US country chart and their current song was climbing both the country and the regular charts after being used in a huge box office success, which had brought them even more fans.

In the past Ben had told her that he knew he was lucky he’d been allowed to tread his own path and would be ever thankful to his family for that. Just the thought of sitting behind a desk all day had sent shivers down his spine. In turn, his family, and Ellie, were overjoyed for him. All he’d ever wanted was to play music and now that dream was reality.

*

Having checked her phone again for the hundredth time, Sandy’s dark eyes scanned the travellers as she squeezed Todd’s hand in nervous anticipation.

‘Honey, you’re going to break my hand.’

Sandy turned and smiled as she lessened the grip on her fiancé. As soon as she’d told him about Ellie coming to visit, and the main reason behind it, he’d volunteered to drive her to the airport, saying that it would let them catch up without having to worry about concentrating on driving. She was glad now that he had, as nerves and excitement and concern all bubbled within her while she continued to watch the gates for the first sign of her friend.

What Todd hadn’t mentioned was that it was his concern for the woman he loved that compelled him to rearrange his day at the last minute in order to drive her to and from the airport.

Todd’s family had been friends with the Danvers for years but it was only a couple of years ago that his and Sandy’s friendship had deepened into something more. Every time he thought about that, he kicked himself for not seeing what an incredible woman she was sooner and at the thought of all the time he’d wasted not being with her. One night, after a couple too many beers, he’d confided this to his brother-in-law. Ben was, and had always been, as much of a brother to him as if they’d had the same blood running through their veins. Ben had just smiled, squeezed his shoulder and told him that sometimes people had to go through the things they did in order to appreciate the right thing – or person – when it was the right time.

Todd had met Ellie very briefly a couple of times when they were kids but not properly since he and Sandy had been dating. He’d seen her on Skype but if he was around when they called, he was usually shooed lovingly out of the room so that, as Sandy said, she could talk about him. But he knew how close the two women were and, if the information Zak had given Sandy was accurate, his fiancée was likely in for more of a shock than she thought when she saw her friend. She’d told him she was prepared but he didn’t know if she was prepared enough. If he was right, the shock of seeing a woman as close as a sister bruised and battered was going to impact her harder than she thought. For Todd, offering to drive was a no brainer.

Beside him, Sandy was still scanning the crowds, jittering back and forth.

‘There she is! Oh!’ She squinted a little. ‘She cut her hair.’

Todd followed Sandy’s frowning gaze to see a slim woman, about Sandy’s height, with a red, chin-length bob under a baseball cap. Her eyes were hidden behind rose-tinted aviator-style sunglasses.

‘Ellie!’ Sandy called, rushing to the end of the barrier and pulling her friend into a big hug.

Ellie stiffened involuntarily and eased away a little. Sandy pulled back. From a distance, Todd watched the concern on his fiancée’s face. He had a feeling that was only going to increase once those sunglasses were removed.

‘Ribs,’ Ellie explained, an awkward smile on her face.

‘Jeez. I’m so sorry, honey. You OK?’ Sandy took her friend’s free hand, closing both of her own around it.

‘Yep. Fine. Fine.’

‘I almost didn’t recognise you. You didn’t tell me you cut your hair.’

Ellie withdrew her hand and tugged at the hat, a shadow passing across her face. ‘I hate it.’

‘OK, so then we don’t talk about it. Let’s go home.’

Ellie nodded. Sandy had used the right phrase. It did always feel like coming home when she came back to Kansas. Seeing her friend at last, in addition to the emotional and physical rollercoaster she’d just come off, had made her throat tight. For a moment, she didn’t trust herself to speak.

‘Oh!’ Sandy remembered her manners. ‘Obviously this is Todd.’

Todd smiled and held out his hand. ‘It’s really great to meet you properly at last. Although obviously I wish it were under different circumstances.’

Ellie gave a smile, although to Todd it looked a little stiff and he guessed the make-up she wore hid more damage. ‘Yes. Me too.’

He touched her arm very gently and briefly, silently adding to his fiancée’s reassurance that she was safe now. ‘Let me get that,’ he said, reaching for the handle of the luggage trolley. Sandy took Ellie’s arm and tucked it through her own as they walked to the car. As Todd busied himself loading the case into the trunk, the women got in the cab and made themselves comfortable.

‘Can I see?’ Sandy asked quietly.

Ellie paused then lowered her head. Slowly she removed the cap and carefully removed the glasses.

Behind them, Todd shut the cover of the pick-up. Hesitantly, Ellie looked back at Sandy.

‘Oh, Ellie,’ Sandy cried softly, tears welling in her eyes. Immediately, she pulled her friend to her once again, this time remembering the delicate ribs.

‘All set?’ Todd asked brightly as he got in, looking up from the ignition when he got no reply. Sandy was wiping her eyes on a tissue, and her friend’s head was bent towards her, but Todd could now see the damage she’d been hiding. His mouth set in an angry line. Settling his breath, concentrating on driving rather than anger, he turned the engine over and pulled out. As he turned the corner, his peripheral vision caught Ellie’s bruises again. He just couldn’t understand guys that did that to women. Women they claimed to love! To Todd, those guys were the lowest of the low. There was no excuse to hit a woman. Ever. It really was that simple. Thankfully, Sandy had told him that at least this guy had now been arrested and Ellie was finished with him. For good. Glancing across again, Todd really hoped that was true.

The two women sat quietly in the car on the way to the Danvers’ family home, their hands gripped in an unspoken gesture of friendship and support. There was so much to say but when she’d removed the sunglasses, the exhaustion in Ellie’s eyes was clear for anyone to see.

After a few miles, Sandy brightened.

‘Hey, want some music on? I have Ben’s latest album on my phone.’

‘That’d be great.’ Sandy tapped her phone and scrolled for a moment. Soon the familiar sound of Ben’s music filled the car. Ellie rested her head back against the seat, her hand still tightly within her friend’s, and let the music surround her.

*

Molly Danvers was out on the porch before the car pulled up. As they stopped, she hurried down the driveway towards them. Ellie looked up, seeing Ted as he stood back by the house.

As much as Ellie wanted to be wrapped in the comfort of her own family, for the moment, she had kept the truth from them, having asked the Danvers to do the same. Still great friends with the Laings, they had been reluctant, but agreed to Ellie’s wishes not to worry them, understanding her reasons.

Andrew Laing’s blood pressure had always been fairly high. A career that he found both stressful and rewarding had only contributed to a genetic propensity to readings higher than was ideal. He’d been making changes and things had appeared to be going in the right direction but on a visit about eight months ago, Ellie had found her father looking grey and her mother looking worried. He’d laughed it off, saying that it was fine, his attention more focused on the bruise on his daughter’s temple, something she had explained away as a tennis injury from a friend’s wayward racket. Thankfully, they’d accepted it. She had wanted to tell them everything – how much Carl had changed since they’d moved in together and how she wasn’t sure what to do now, that he’d promised it would never happen again, and had surrounded her with attention and gifts since it had happened – but couldn’t. She’d always valued her parents’ opinions but looking at them both that day, she knew she couldn’t ask them about it. Not right then. They clearly had enough to worry about. As Carl’s behaviour got worse, so had her father’s health and she’d had to time her visits to when any bruises she had were out of sight.

Six months ago, she’d been woken with a call from her mother who, in an eerily calm manner, had told her that they were at the hospital and that her dad had suffered a massive heart attack. Her mum’s calm manner had frightened Ellie more than any hysterical crying could have done. It was almost as though she had already accepted something that her daughter just wasn’t prepared to. She couldn’t even remember the drive that day and had ended up with a fine in the car park as her mind had been on her dad rather than feeding a meter.

Andrew Laing’s heart had stopped once in the ambulance as they raced to the hospital, but the paramedics had managed to resuscitate him, his distraught wife watching on. Having been informed at the nurse’s station that her dad was still in surgery, Ellie had run to the waiting room and found her mum, and together they had just sat. And waited. Several hours later, the surgeon had come to them, his face unreadable. Ellie’s mum’s brave façade had crumbled before he’d even opened his mouth. When he told them that her husband was stable but critical, having once more arrested on the operating table, Ellie thought her mum’s heart would break from sobbing. She’d held her as tightly as she could, almost as if by holding her so close she could keep her, and perhaps both of them, from falling apart.

She’d finally persuaded her mum to get a little rest but not until she’d been allowed to see her husband, just for a few moments. The medical team understood that she’d needed that moment, that reassurance that the man she loved was still here, at least for now and hopefully for a lot longer yet. After, Ellie had sat there holding her mother’s hand as her head lay in her lap, a reversal of roles for the night.

Thankfully her dad had fought for his life and it had been the catalyst for her parents changing their lifestyle in a more dramatic way. They sold the large house in Surrey they’d lived in since returning home to England, cut down on their social commitments and found a small, but beautiful cottage in a tiny village down by the sea in Cornwall. It had recently been renovated to a very high standard so there was nothing to be done but relax and enjoy the life that had been spared. It had been a huge scare for all of them and, however much he told his wife and daughter that they were fussing, Ellie knew her dad had been scared too. The ease with which he’d agreed to her mum’s plan of cultivating a much quieter life proved that. The change had been good for them and Ellie had no intention of putting any undue stress their way. She would tell them, in time. And she knew they’d be upset with her for not telling them – but she also knew they’d understand.

‘Ellie, darlin,’ Molly said, pushing the auburn curls back from the forehead. ‘Oh, sweetheart,’ she whispered, pulling the young woman to her.

‘Mind her ribs, Mama,’ Sandy warned, her own voice thick with emotion. Molly wrapped an arm around each of them and together they walked back to the house.

‘Thanks for letting me stay here.’

‘Don’t be silly, honey. Of course you’d stay here.’

Ted Danvers studied Ellie’s face as she walked up the steps. Leaning down, he kissed the unbruised cheek as he gently hugged her.

‘You’ll be alright now.’

Ellie nodded. He was right. She would.

‘Right!’ Molly said, discreetly wiping her eye. ‘Let’s get you people something to eat.’ With that, she chivvied them all inside and Ellie was soon wrapped up in the warmth and love of the Danvers’ family home.

*

A few days later, Ellie and Sandy were preparing dinner together in the kitchen, with the aid of a bottle of wine, when they heard a key in the front door. Ted and Molly had gone out earlier and weren’t due back for a while yet, so grabbing another quick sip of wine, Sandy went to investigate. In the hall, she met Ben and his wife Cyndi slipping off their coats.

‘What are you doing here?’ she asked, her tone wary.

Ben pulled a face at his sister’s unusually reserved greeting. ‘Nice to see you too, kid.’

Sandy shifted her weight, before throwing a quick glance back towards the kitchen. When she didn’t offer any further explanation for her lack of enthusiasm, Ben continued.

‘We were just passing through. Thought we’d stop and say hi.’ He bent and kissed her on the cheek, ‘And see what’s for dinner, obviously.’ He grinned and Sandy smiled back. Ben’s smile tended to make people do that – it was infectious. Plus, she loved the fact that, despite everything, he didn’t change. His mum’s cooking was still the best in his eyes. She noticed Cyndi standing serenely behind her husband, running a hand over her already perfect hair. Of course, Sandy pondered, he probably didn’t have a lot to compare it to, excepting his own. From what she gathered, his wife was not a natural in the kitchen. And by ‘not a natural’, she meant ‘had never cooked in her life and had no intention of starting now’.

Cyndi had apparently tried insisting on a cook and while Ben had always attempted to do whatever made his wife happy, he’d remained firm on that subject. The thought of someone else being in the house most of the day made him feel uncomfortable. He’d explained to Sandy as he had tried explaining it to his wife, that if he was writing and fancied a sandwich he wanted to be able to pad in and make himself one without feeling like he was in the way in his own home. While Sandy understood, Cyndi had merely pointed out that he would just be able to ask the cook to make him one, completely missing his point. He’d given up trying to explain but had insisted on no cook. If she wanted one when he was away and she remained behind – not that she ever tended to – then that was fine with him. But until then, either he’d cook or they’d get take out. Or see what his mom had in the oven.

‘Hey, Cyndi.’

‘Hello.’ Cyndi gave the briefest of smiles as she stepped towards Sandy and did two air kisses. It was her latest habit. Oh man!

‘Um, Ben.’ Sandy began as she finished mentally rolling her eyes and took Cyndi’s beautiful and very expensive coat. ‘Ellie’s staying for a few days.’

‘Really? That’s great! I didn’t know she was coming over. I haven’t seen her in years!’ Ben cast his mind back, trying to remember when he’d last seen her, and couldn’t, although he did recall the short telephone conversation they’d had after his wedding.

The painting that Ellie had sent as her gift had taken his breath away. He knew how much time that would have taken her and all the four- and five-figure gifts Cyndi had put on their list – an act that still made Ben cringe – couldn’t come close to meaning what hers had.

Sandy had been chatting to Ellie on the phone when they’d dropped round after opening all the presents and, popping into the kitchen, he’d apologised for disturbing his sister as she’d sat on a kitchen stool with her feet tucked up, perched up like a gnome – a position that had always made Ben nervous. When his sister had told him who it was, he’d spontaneously taken the phone and said hi, wanting to thank Ellie personally having been disappointed she couldn’t make the wedding.

What he hadn’t expected was the reaction he’d felt on hearing Ellie’s soft voice and gentle laugh after all these years. And, of course, that accent. Oh man, that accent! Passing the phone back to Sandy, he’d hurriedly got the glass of wine for Cyndi he’d originally gone into the kitchen for and returned to the living room. She’d pouted at the few minutes’ delay as she took it, remonstrating as she did so. Across the room, he’d seen his parents drop their gaze and pretend not to notice his wife’s nitpicking. He knew they weren’t the only ones. Ben wasn’t stupid. He hadn’t expected the whirlwind of their romance to last forever, knowing it would transition into something even more beautiful. Everyone knew there was a honeymoon period. But he had expected the honeymoon period to at least outlast the honeymoon itself.

Things would settle in time, he knew, so he’d given his wife a gentle kiss, taken her hand and tried to forget that his kid sister’s best friend was now no longer a kid and had a soft, unbelievably sexy voice.

That night, he’d lain in bed, guilt eating him up. Cyndi might not have been the woman that his family and friends would have chosen for him but he loved her, and he was, and always would be, a one-woman man. He’d put the phone call out of his mind and replaced it instead with an image of the two girls as annoying nine-year-olds. It had worked. Ellie had become just his kid sister’s best friend again. But he’d always enjoyed her company and would be glad to see her again now.

‘Ben, there’s something you should know first,’ Sandy began as she turned and hung Cyndi’s butter-soft, full-length leather coat on the hook. ‘Ellie’s …’ Sandy turned back to finish her explanation. Ben and Cyndi had gone.

‘Damn!’ She hurried after them, entering the kitchen just as Ellie responded to the call of her name.

‘Jesus Christ!’ Ben exclaimed.

Ellie’s bruised face was a mixture of shock, horror and embarrassment. She wasn’t expecting to see Ben or his perfect-looking wife – and certainly not unprepared like this. Heavy silence hung in the air for a second, all of them unmoving.

‘Excuse me,’ Ellie said, faintly, her head low as she fumbled for the back-door handle, trying to exit with as much dignity as she could, although right now she felt like the little she’d clung on to had just been totally shredded.

Walking almost blindly down the garden, she hurried along the path that wound through the large space towards the ancient, gnarled tree at the end. A rope swing hung from one of its thick branches. Ellie sat heavily on its wooden seat, worn and shiny with use. The wind rustled the leaves and gently creaked the swing to and fro. The breeze felt good on her face, exposed as it was now in this safe, hidden corner. In her mind, she saw again the shock and horror on Ben’s face, the revulsion on Cyndi’s, and closed her eyes. She felt ugly, her face hurt, and her whole body felt like she’d been run over by a truck. Right now, all she wanted was to curl up in a dark corner and stay there.

Back in the kitchen, Sandy had already exploded at her brother. ‘Great! Thanks a lot, Ben!’ Ben turned and stared at his sister, unable to think for a moment.

‘What happened to her face?’ Cyndi asked, her nose still screwed up in distaste.

Sandy was in no mood to be patient or polite. ‘Her ex-boyfriend happened to her face. He had a bad day so he came home and beat the crap out of Ellie. Again! And right now, she’s feeling pretty fragile and worthless and unattractive and both your reactions have really helped, so thank you so much!’ she yelled, fury making her accent thick.

‘Well, I guess she doesn’t exactly look that attractive at the moment,’ Cyndi blurted.

Sandy’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth, about to unleash a torrent at her sister-in-law but Ben got there first.

‘Be quiet, Cyndi,’ he said softly, before heading to the door that Ellie had just left through. Closing it behind him, he left the two women alone in the kitchen.

Sandy stood staring at Cyndi for a moment, anger still flashing in her dark eyes. Keeping her thoughts to herself, for Ben’s sake more than anyone else’s, she stalked across the hall to the study and slammed the door, leaving Cyndi alone.

*

Ben had never felt so sorry in all his life. Just the bombshell of seeing Ellie like that, so bruised and battered, had stunned him. And then, as she’d looked from him to his wife and then Sandy, like a fawn caught in headlights, not knowing which way to run, he’d felt an overwhelming desire to pull her to him, kiss her battered face, and promise that no one would ever hurt her again, that he would always keep her safe. The shock of that unbidden thought had kept him entirely rooted to the spot. The picture he’d kept in his mind of the annoying nine-year-olds had now been totally obliterated by the image of the woman in front of him.

She was sitting on their old swing, bare feet dangling above the ground, head resting on the twisted rope support as one slow, sad tear rolled down her face. He stopped and watched her for a moment. Despite what his wife had said, Ben could see through the bruising, and, as he stood there, what he saw was a beautiful woman. And what he felt terrified him.

Ellie caught his presence from the corner of her eye and turned her head a little more towards the rope, away from him.

‘Ellie? Ellie honey, I’m so sorry.’

‘It’s OK. Really.’ She shook her head in forgiveness but declined to look at him. Ben felt worse.

‘No. No it’s not.’ His voice was soft as he walked over and hunkered down in front of the swing. Still, she kept her head turned away. ‘It was insensitive. I – I was just shocked, I guess.’

‘That makes two of us then.’ A ghost of a half-smile showed on her lips but she refused to meet his eyes.

‘Hey, there’s that smile.’ Ellie didn’t respond. ‘Are you going to look at me?’ he asked softly. He tentatively rested his hand on hers and, after a moment, she curled a single finger around it.

She shook her head and the salty tear dropped and landed on Ben’s jeans, a dark blob on the faded denim.

‘Why not?’

Her voice cracked as she whispered her reply. ‘I don’t even want to look at me.’

‘Oh, sweetheart,’ Ben whispered as he stood, gently pulling her up with him as he did so, wrapping his arms around her. ‘It’s OK. Everything’s OK now. I promise.’

It was all that was needed to breach the fragile dam she had built in an attempt to keep back the flood of emotions bursting within her. Feeling secure in her friend’s strong embrace, hidden from the world, Ellie began to sob. Great painful issues wracked her whole body as Ben curled his palm around the back of her head, holding her close as she let out the frustration and pain, the disappointment and fear that she’d been doing her best to hide from. Broken words filtered out every now and then, but she was so upset Ben couldn’t make them out, so he just held her until she had cried herself out.

Ellie pulled away from him, searching self-consciously in her skirt pocket for a handkerchief. Finding one, she wiped her eyes and nose, keeping her gaze lowered.

‘Oh no,’ A look of concern furrowed her brow as she pointed at his shirt.

A large wet patch showed just below the shoulder where she had buried her head. Ben looked down and smiled, trying not to die a little bit at the worry he saw in her expression.

‘It’ll dry.’ He shrugged.

‘I’m so sorry. I—’

‘It’s OK,’ he interrupted. ‘Really. Needed a wash anyway.’

Slowly, gently, he placed one finger under her chin and tipped her face to his. ‘I said it’s OK.’

Finally, she lifted his eyes to meet his. Ben looked down into those startling green eyes, now swollen and red-rimmed. One was still half closed and surrounded by a rainbow-coloured bruise, as was her temple and jaw.

‘How could anyone do this?’

‘Please don’t. You’ll start me off again.’

He nodded, forcing a smile that thankfully, this time, received the smallest of ones in reply as she held the gaze momentarily.

*

Cyndi and Ben had stayed to dinner but Sandy had put Ellie to bed as soon as she returned from the garden with Ben, saying she’d bring her something to eat later. The tearstains on Ellie’s face and her brother’s shirt had told enough of the story.

‘I’m not tired, Sands.’

‘I know but you’re having a rest anyway,’ Sandy replied, ignoring the protest and pulling the cover over her friend.

‘You’re worse than my mum!’

‘I’ll check on you later.’ Sandy smiled, kissing her friend on the forehead before leaving the room.

Ellie lay on the bed and watched the evening sun painting colours in the sky. She really wasn’t tired but her head was pounding from all the crying. Maybe closing her eyes would make it go away.

*

Ben walked out with Sandy to collect their coats.

‘I really didn’t mean to upset her. You know I wouldn’t have done that for the world.’

‘I know.’ Sandy hugged him. ‘Ellie knows that too. Actually, although it probably wasn’t the kindest way of going about it, I think it did her good. She’s been trying to be brave and strong when she really needed to just give in and release it all. Start afresh from there.’

‘I guess.’

‘And your complete lack of tact seemed to do the trick!’

Ben looked pained. Then he caught the glint in her eye and pulled a face. Shoving the two coats at her.

‘I’m going to say goodbye to Ellie. It could be another decade before I see her again.’

‘OK. Don’t wake her if she’s still sleeping though.’

Ben tapped lightly on the door and pushed it when there was no response. She was lying, half on her back and half on her side, one arm cuddling a pillow. Her head was turned away from the window towards the door. Towards him. He knew he should leave but he couldn’t. Not just yet.

‘Is she still asleep?’ Sandy poked her head around the door.

Ben flushed, glad of the low light. ‘Yeah,’ he whispered back

Sandy entered the room and stood at Ben’s side, then looked down at her friend’s sleeping form,

‘She looks peaceful. That’s good.’ From the corner of her eye, she saw her brother’s face twitch in anger. Nudging him, she derailed his thoughts. ‘Come on. She wouldn’t appreciate us spying on her.’

Ben looked back at Ellie, stepped across and momentarily covered her hand with his own. She didn’t stir.

‘Bye, Ellie,’ he whispered.

Sandy quickly closed the shutters and then followed her brother out, shutting the door behind her. Ben hadn’t moved.

‘Why did she let him do this?’ True confusion showed in Ben’s clear blue eyes. Sandy couldn’t help her surprise. This wasn’t like Ben. Normally, he just dealt with things, fixed what he could and accepted what he couldn’t. Taking things in his stride had always been his thing. However, his comment made her frown.

‘I don’t think she had much of a choice in the matter, Ben. It’s not like she asked him to do it!’

‘No, of course not. I didn’t mean that. I just meant, why didn’t she get out sooner. She was with him, what, over two years? He must have done this before. You said yourself that you think she had more trouble with him than she let on. Why didn’t she just leave? She’s bright and funny, and beautiful. Why’d she put up with it?’

‘Well,’ Sandy said slowly, ‘she thought she loved him. And when you love someone, I guess it’s easier to find excuses not to leave.’

‘Ben?’ Cyndi called up the stairs, that pout back on her face.

Ben looked down, startled. Molly, having returned, was stood behind her and the expression on her son’s face unsettled her. He ran a hand through his hair before pasting on a smile on for his wife, then jogged down the staircase, lifting their coats from the banister on the way. After helping Cyndi into hers, Ben shrugged into his own and headed out into the night.

Chapter 3

‘Hey.’

‘Hi,’ Ellie replied a little groggily, squinting against the sunshine streaming in to the bright kitchen.

‘Sleep OK?’ Sandy asked, pouring her friend a juice from the glass jug that stood on the table.

‘A little too well, I think.’ Ellie pulled a face as she inclined her head towards the clock on the wall. Sandy waved her hand. ‘Don’t worry about it. Looks like the rest did you good. You look brighter today.’

Ellie raised her one unbruised eyebrow in disbelief.

‘Seriously.’

‘She’s right,’ Molly said, bustling into the kitchen and taking charge of the pans on the stove. She paused for a moment and turned, meeting Ellie’s eyes. ‘Sometimes we want to keep everything inside when really it just all needs to come out so that we can start healing. Physically and mentally.’ Ellie flushed and dropped her gaze. ‘What a way to do it though,’ she said, taking a sip of her orange juice.

Sandy and her mother exchanged a glance. Molly turned off the heat under the pan and crossed the kitchen, taking the seat next to Ellie. Reaching out, she took her hand, holding it within her own.

‘What is it that you’re worried about?’

Ellie felt the tears build in her eyes once more. Snatching a napkin from the table, she pressed it to them for a second.

‘I just feel …’

Molly and Sandy waited.

Ellie took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. ‘It’s just that … Ben, of all people!’

‘Ben cares about you. He always has.’

‘Yes. But … it’s not like I really know him anymore. I only saw him a couple of times after we moved back to England and I think the last time I actually even talked to him, apart from the quick thank you on the phone that time, was probably over ten years ago. And then I go and do a hysterical blubbing act on a huge music star’s designer shirt.’

‘He felt awful about upsetting you. Anything he could do to make up for that, he would have done willingly. Besides, Ben is still Ben. Just because more people know his name and face doesn’t mean he’s changed any,’ Sandy replied.

‘He didn’t upset me. I just … I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone else and it took me by surprise. Please explain that when you talk to him – unless they’re due to visit again?’

Ellie wasn’t sure how she felt about that particular circumstance. Sandy was right. She did feel better in a way, but not necessarily better enough to come face to face with the celebrity she’d noisily sobbed all over the previous evening.

Sandy nodded. ‘He’s heading off today on some promo thing so I don’t think they’ll be around for a little while now but I’ll be sure to tell him. I promise.’

Molly smiled and patted Ellie’s hand. ‘Right. Breakfast!’ she said, standing.

‘I’ll just get some cereal,’ Ellie said, making to follow her. That’s plenty.’

Molly laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. ‘Not in this house. You should know that by now.’

Ellie sat back down and couldn’t help smiling. She did know that by now. Her many visits, both when living next door and thousands of miles away, had taught her that. And when delicious smells began wafting her way as Molly sang to herself at the stove, she looked over at Sandy and gave a smile.

Across the table, Sandy returned it, seeing the beginnings of change and feeling her heart lighten just a touch at that glimmer. Last night she could have punched her adored older brother but right now, she would have hugged him. Whatever he did or didn’t do, whatever he said or didn’t say, had helped her best friend take another step in the right direction. For that, she would be ever thankful to him.

*

Ben had loved his house as soon as he saw it. Sadly, it hadn’t been the new start with Cyndi that he’d hoped it would be. In fact, the day he’d taken her out there, not long after Ellie’s visit, his wife had hated it on sight.

‘You what?’ Cyndi had snapped. Her perfectly made up eyes, complete with overlong false lashes stared up at him, the expression in them hard.

‘I bought it.’

‘Without asking me?’

‘I wanted it to be a surprise.’

‘Well! It’s certainly that!’ she snorted.

‘There’s stables and a garden and—’

‘I know what’s here, Ben.’ Cyndi cut him off. ‘We came before, but you said you were looking at it for a friend.’ She gave a cursory glance around before meeting her husband’s eyes. ‘There’s no way I’m living here.’

‘You said it was nice when we came before.’

‘That’s because I didn’t know you were thinking of buying it! I guess it is nice if you like this kind of thing.’

‘Look, honey,’ Ben had tried to reason, ‘just give it a chance. I could even teach you to ride.’

‘I don’t want you to teach me to ride! Horses make me itch.’

Ben took a deep breath. ‘OK … so how about this? We don’t have to live here all the time. Just some of it. Have it as a place to come back to, away from the city and the noise and everything. A quiet retreat, you know.’

‘So what I want doesn’t matter? Is that what you’re saying?’

Ben looked confused. ‘Wait … what? No. That’s not what I said at all.’ He ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure how she’d got that from what he’d just said. ‘You know that’s not true.’ He walked up to his wife and looked at her perfectly made-up face. A beautiful face and body in the perfect dress and shoes, with the perfect hair. She was everything he’d wanted. Wasn’t she?

The late summer wind blew around them. Somewhere deep inside his head a little voice pointed out that, despite the breeze, not one strand of Cyndi’s hair was moving. Ben lifted his fingers and touched her hair – it was almost rigid. She jumped back as though he’d burned her.

‘What the hell are you doing?’ she squealed, ‘You know I hate people touching my hair!’

‘I just …’ Ben knew his answer would sound ridiculous so chose not to finish the sentence. Cyndi was still staring at him, an incredulous look on her face as she nervously patted her hair.

‘Have you been drinking?’

‘Nope,’ Ben said quietly, lowering himself onto the steps of the porch before looking back up at his wife. She looked down and he noted that she seemed uncomfortable. Out of place.

‘Sit by me?’

She raised an exquisite brow. ‘It’s filthy!’

Ben turned his head and glanced down at the steps. They were kind of dusty. ‘It’s only dust. It’ll brush off.’ Cyndi let out a theatrical sigh. ‘Have you any idea how much this dress cost? Maybe if you ever wore something other than your jeans it might occur to you not to sit on the ground either.’

Ben didn’t know how much it cost. Only that he had paid for it. Something that had never bothered him. He’d just wanted to make Cyndi happy. Unfortunately, that particular task had only got more and more difficult each day of their marriage.

‘You never used to mind the way I dressed,’ Ben said, as he made little piles of dust with the toe of his boot.

‘Ben, sweetie,’ Cyndi wheedled, crouching beside him. He took it as an offer of compromise and knew it was as near to sitting on the floor as she was ever going to get. ‘I’m just saying that you’re successful enough to wear nice things.’

‘You mean I have enough money to buy a tie for ten thousand bucks and should wear it just ‘cos it’s designed by some guy who happens to be top of the fashion tree this month.’

‘Well!’ Cyndi stood up and began smoothing away imaginary creases. ‘If you’re not prepared to take this seriously—’

‘Cyndi, I am taking this seriously, but this is me. This is who I am. I like my jeans and my boots and my hat. That’s what I feel comfortable in and I can’t change that. I don’t want to change that. It’s how you met me, and I’m sorry if you’re now ashamed of me because of it.’

‘Of course, I’m not ashamed of you, honey.’ She touched his arm. ‘I just think you have more potential.’

‘Potential?’ Ben looked back up in confusion.

‘You know, the advertising contracts you’ve been offered and—’

Ben cut her off. ‘Is it all about the money to you? Is that all we mean? All I mean to you?’

Cyndi looked taken aback. Ben never lost his temper with her. In fact, he rarely lost it ever. But she could see the anger – and maybe hurt – flashing in his eyes now. Inside she felt a little twinge that possibly she was responsible for that hurt. But still. She spent so much time and money on her appearance to look good for him and then he wanted her to hide out here in the back of beyond! And had the audacity to snap at her when she voiced an opinion on it!

‘That’s unfair!’ Cyndi spat back. Her eyes were dry but she was working on that.

‘Oh man,’ Ben whispered under his breath.

‘Sometimes I wonder if you even care about me at all! About what I want! What makes me happy!’ Cyndi began, still endeavouring to force the waterworks. ‘Trying to force me to live in the middle of nowhere when you know I’d hate it! All you care about is that you’ve got a pretty face hanging on your arm!’

Ben was stunned into silence. When he regained his voice, it was soft. ‘Is that really what you think?’

‘Yes! That’s really what I think!’ His wife spun on her five-inch, red soled stilettos and tottered off, the strut of her tantrum rather undermined by the insecurity of the spiked heels on the uneven ground. Ben followed her to the car.

‘Do you think I don’t love you?’

‘I don’t know!’ She threw in a sniff for extra effect.

‘You know I’d never try and force you – or anyone – into doing something they didn’t want to. Surely you know that about me by now?’

She gave a shrug. Ben let out a sigh and shook his head.

‘Cyndi.’ He kissed her gently on the forehead. ‘Look, you go back to the apartment tonight. I’ll stay here and go see the real estate agent in the morning. We don’t have to keep the house.’ There was a pause. ‘I just thought you’d like it. That it’d be a great place to bring kids up in.’ He waited a beat, knowing that deep down, a part of him was hoping she would relent and say OK, that perhaps they would try living here for a while but the deal was done as far as Cyndi was concerned. She’d won. Again. As usual. She nodded as she fished out a compact from her Hermés crocodile Birkin bag and reapplied her lipstick. There was no trace of the tears.

‘OK, I’ll see you tomorrow then.’

He nodded then helped her into the Porsche and shut the door. She sped off down the unsealed drive, kicking up even more dust. As it lazily settled around him, Ben looked down at his jeans, removed his hat and beat at them half-heartedly with it.

Turning, he let his gaze settle on the house. His beautiful house. He’d fallen in love with it the moment he’d seen it and had been hopeful of a new start there. Walking back across, he took up his seat again on the steps and looked out onto the wheat fields that backed up to his land. The golden curtain danced and waved in the breeze. Soon it would be harvesting time and he’d been looking forward to watching as the huge machines worked their way along the crop. The process had fascinated him as a boy and still held allure for him all these years later. His eyes drifted over the rest of the landscape. There was so much space, so much land, so much sky. It was wonderful. He didn’t understand how Cyndi couldn’t love it. Couldn’t get his head around why she would prefer to live in the city with the constant noise and people and traffic.

Cyndi was born in the city and had no desire to leave. He was born a country boy and would always stay one, in his heart at least. In that, it seemed, they would always differ.

A thought popped into his head. Now that Cyndi would be back at their apartment, he ought to ring Sandy and let her know she didn’t need to go to the apartment and feed the cat. Housekeeping wasn’t due in today and when Ben had told Sandy about his plans to take Cyndi out to the new house and surprise her, hoping that they would stay out there a few days, Sandy had volunteered to head over and see that their pet was fed.

‘Well, I certainly surprised her!’ He sighed aloud to himself, leaning his head back against one of the porch supports as he closed his eyes. The only noise was the wind as it played gently with the crop. He’d never felt so comfortable in a place. Never had such a feeling of being exactly where he was supposed to be as he did right now.

Opening his eyes, the reality hit him. There was no way Cyndi would live here – or anywhere like it. The moment she knew it was theirs and not merely a chance to see where someone else might be living – what someone else might have – she hadn’t even wanted to set foot inside.

Ben knew his only option was to return to the city. He tried to push away the twist in his stomach at that knowledge. Tried to ignore the thought of how miserable he found constant city life, and how much more free and alive he felt when he was out here, in the wide open spaces he’d loved his whole life. He pushed a hand through his hair in frustration. He needed to leave. Staying at this house was only making him want it more. Better just to head back and call the real estate agent tomorrow.

Standing, he returned his hat to his head and walked down to the pleasant brick building that provided lodging for the farmhands. Following excellent recommendations from the previous owner, he’d taken the workers on along with the property. The horses and land were in good hands with them. Ben made a mental note to specify that he wanted their interests looked after when he sold the property on.

‘Hey Jed,’ he called, addressing the head rancher as he held out his hand.

‘Hey, Mr Danvers,’ Jed replied, shaking it. ‘You showing Mrs Danvers around?’ Jed had seen them arrive in a shiny sports car that didn’t seem the best choice for the tracks around here but then rich people tended to do things their own way from what he’d seen.

‘Yeah.’ Ben smiled. ‘She got called back to the city though.’

‘Oh, that’s a shame. Still. Plenty of time.’

Ben smiled. At least Jed made the effort. When they’d visited before, they’d met up with Jed so that he could show them around the land. Cyndi’s snobbery had shown its ugly head again then as she turned up her nose at the hat Jed had kindly offered her – a perfectly clean and acceptable one – in order to protect her from the heat of the day. She’d blanked him and walked off, dropping her designer sunglasses back in front of her face for the rest of the visit and asking Ben questions which would have been better directed at the ranch hand.

Her behaviour had caused Ben to cringe and, having made some lame excuse to Jed about her feeling out of sorts today, he’d called her out on it on the way home. She’d made a vague sort of apology and her behaviour had seemed to ease for a couple of days, but as soon as she was back with her friends, Ben saw the trait float to the surface again. Cyndi had been spoiled from day one by her parents and now by him. He knew he had to accept some of the blame. He’d been bowled over by her the moment he met her and swore then and there that whatever she wanted, he would give it to her. It was, after all, what she was used to and if he didn’t, someone else sure would. But she definitely didn’t want this house.

‘Jed, do you think I could borrow the old truck for a couple of days?’

‘Don’t see why not? It might need some gas though.’ Jed picked the keys off a hook and tossed them over.

Ben tried his sister intermittently as he drove back towards town but the line was constantly busy. Just as the apartment building came into view, it finally connected.

‘Hello. You’ve reached Sandy Danvers. I’m afraid I can’t take your call right—’

Ben hung up. She must already be on her way to the apartment, and rarely chose to connect her Bluetooth in the car, telling him that she enjoyed the feeling of being unplugged for once.

Parking behind Cyndi’s Porsche, Ben got out and locked the door. A grin played on his mouth as he walked away. The battered, dusty truck looked so out of place among the sleek saloons, SUVs and shiny sports cars that decorated the apartment lot. He kind of liked it. Approaching the entrance, Ben punched in the code. The buzzer sounded and he pushed open the heavy glass door.

‘Evening, Mr Danvers.’

‘Hi, Jerry. I don’t suppose you saw my sister go up this evening at all?’

‘I’m sorry, sir, no. I just came on duty a minute ago.’

‘That’s OK. Goodnight.’

‘Goodnight, sir.’

Ben bounded up the stairs two at a time. Cyndi always tutted and sighed at him whenever he did that. He was still upset about the house but maybe they could find some sort of compromise – he’d been right to come back tonight instead of sitting there, brooding over what could have been. Despite her faults, he loved his wife and knew that he was nowhere near perfect himself. He should have known not to buy something as major as a house without discussing it with her first. Although, he had a feeling if he’d have bought a place in Barbados, there would have been a lot less drama.

The elevator doors pinged open just as Ben walked past them and Sandy stepped out followed by Todd.

‘Ben! What are you doing here? I thought you were staying at the ranch tonight?’

He bent and kissed her, before shaking Todd’s hand. ‘Yeah. Slight change of plan. I’ve been trying to call you.’

‘Not to worry.’ Sandy paused, studying his face. ‘She didn’t like it, did she?’

Ben looked up from the bunch of keys he was fiddling with. She could read him like a book. Always had. He could never lie to her. ‘No.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Sandy replied, her heart breaking a little at the look in Ben’s eyes – a look he was trying to hide. He shrugged his shoulders as he picked out the correct key. ‘We’ll be on our way,’ she said, taking Todd’s hand and turning to go as Ben opened the door to the apartment.

‘No.’ He raised a hand. ‘We’re fine. You may as well stay for a coffee, just so’s it’s not an entirely wasted journey. I’ll go get Cyndi.’

Cyndi’s shout of surprise made both Todd and Sandy jump. Exchanging a quick glance, Sandy moved a few paces across to peek towards the bedroom where the scream had emanated from. The look on her face made Todd follow, coming to stand behind her. Ben was leaning on the wall outside the bedroom door, his head tilted back, eyes raised to the ceiling, his skin pale, and looking desperately like he was trying not to throw up. ‘Ben?’ Sandy prompted, as she began to approach him. Suddenly she was halted by a man leaving the bedroom. Looking dishevelled, he hurried past them all, eyes lowered. The latch of the front door clicked loudly in the stunned silence. Ben pulled his head back, took a deep breath and then turning, looked back into the bedroom.

‘Apparently we need to talk.’

‘We should go,’ Sandy stated as they stood in the living room, waiting for Cyndi to make her entrance. ‘I think that’s a good idea,’ Cyndi agreed as she entered, tying the belt on a shimmering silk robe. Her expression was hard to read – she seemed neither embarrassed nor proud of being caught with a lover by her husband. But then she caught the look in her husband’s startling blue eyes. For a moment, it shocked her. They were filled with such pain and such anger – something she’d never seen before. It unsteadied her haughty demeanour and her eyes darted to her sister-in-law. There, in brown eyes instead of blue, she saw the same pain and a whole lot more anger.

‘How long, Cyndi?’ Ben asked.

‘Ben, I don’t think this is a conversation we ought to be having in front of company.’

For once Sandy agreed with Cyndi. Moving across the room, one hand gripping Todd’s, she stopped briefly and gave her brother’s balled fist a squeeze and then let herself and Todd out of the apartment.

‘How long?’ Ben asked again after the door had closed behind his sister.

‘How long what?’

‘For Christ’s sake, Cyndi!’ Ben exploded, making her step back in shock. ‘I know you’re not as dumb as you try to make out so just answer the damn question. How long have you been sleeping around?’ The slap took him by surprise.

‘How dare you!’

‘How dare I?’ He felt a strange desire to laugh, as his hand touched the sting on his cheek. ‘I wasn’t the one caught with my panties down!’

‘Oh, grow up! You can’t tell me you didn’t know.’

Ben sat down heavily, as though his knees could no longer support him. Cyndi hesitated and then sat opposite him. In a way it made it all so much worse. In the past when they rowed, she would storm off, slam the bedroom door and sulk for half an hour. Ben would potter around and then, after the set time had elapsed, he’d go in with a peace offering and they’d make up. But apparently Cyndi had no intention of stomping off this time. That fact meant that she wanted to deal with it, and that in turn confirmed to Ben it really was over.

He looked back at the beautiful face. There was little emotion to be read on it and he no longer knew how much of that was due to Botox and filler and how much was just due to Cyndi. In complete contrast, Ben’s eyes were red, his hair was off in a bunch of different directions from where he’d been running his hands through it and his throat felt rough and constricted.

Cyndi looked back at the man she had loved.

‘Nearly a year,’ she said quietly.

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know. I guess I was bored. The tour was great but then when that finished, I guess – it was just so … normal.’

Ben smiled but it was cold and didn’t warm the ice of his eyes.

‘Why are you smiling?’ Cyndi asked, warily, unsure whether she truly wanted to know the answer.

‘I suppose that answers everyone’s questions as to whether you would have married me if I wasn’t part of Cheyenne.’

Cyndi lowered her eyes. Ben had hoped for a denial, or at least an attempt at one, but she made none.

‘I always told you I was just a regular guy, Cyndi, but I guess that wasn’t enough for you?’

‘I did love you, Ben.’

He looked at her and tried to believe it.

‘Do you love him?’ he asked, his fingers twiddling the gold band on his left hand

‘I don’t know.’

Cyndi could see the muscles in Ben’s jaw working.

‘So you threw our marriage away on a “don’t know”?’ She made no answer. ‘What else is there, Cyndi?’ Ben’s uncharacteristic anger was bubbling up again. If she’d admitted to falling in love with someone else, he might have been able to understand it – in time at least. Ben was an old-fashioned romantic at heart and true love would win him every time. But this? This, he couldn’t understand. He’d loved Cyndi with all his heart. He’d meant every single vow he’d made and the thought she had destroyed everything on a whim was beyond him.

‘It’s just sex then?’

‘No.’

‘So, it’s not love and it’s not sex. What is it, Cyndi? What else is there? Why else would you bring him into our house, into our bed?’ He raised his palms to the ceiling. ‘You’re really gonna have to help me out here ’cause I’m struggling to find another reason.’

Hs wife noticed the strength in his accent. Ben rarely showed his temper but when he did, his accent always increased the angrier he got. It seemed to be a Danvers trait.

‘Don’t be sarcastic, Ben. It doesn’t suit you.’

‘Oh, really? Is that so?’

‘Yes!’

Heavy silence filled the room as they glared at each other. Cyndi began to speak again. She wasn’t used to feeling out of control and she didn’t like it. She’d expected Ben to have started trying to win her back by now. Promising her something else – she wasn’t sure what yet. She’d have to think about that. And she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to be won back. But she certainly didn’t like the fact that he wasn’t even trying – just standing there glaring at her. Like it wasn’t his fault too. Why should she take all the blame?

‘I don’t know what you want me to say.’ She shrugged. It’s not love and it’s not just sex. I guess it’s … something in between.’ She tossed her now brushed-out hair. ‘We just have a great time together – in and out of bed!’ The pained look on Ben’s face shocked her, and suddenly she knew she had gone too far. Cut him far more deeply than she’d realised. She also knew he didn’t deserve this. Growing up, everyone had always said Cyndi Lawson was going to be a heartbreaker, and she’d been pleased with that description, knowing that it gave her power and got her attention, but right up until this moment, she had thought it was just a phrase.

Ben didn’t have the energy or the words to respond to his wife. His stomach churned and his breath felt laboured as though he’d been punched. Cyndi moved towards him.

‘Don’t.’ His voice was raw as he took a step away.

‘Ben, please.’ Ben looked down at the face that had captivated him from the moment he’d seen her. Stunning, like a Hollywood starlet, and he’d fallen for her completely. She’d been so sweet to him at the beginning and he’d loved her. Utterly. Completely. With everything he had. And now? What? He felt numb.

‘I loved you so much,’ he said.

There were tears in her eyes and this time he could tell they were genuine. ‘I know.’

*

Ben drove around for hours, not seeing where he was, replaying things over and over again in his mind. They had a great time ‘in and out of bed’. The phrase got louder and louder in his head until it was the only thing he could hear. At the next junction, he hung a U-turn and pressed the accelerator.

*

Todd opened his front door without checking the peephole and stood aside, already expecting the visitor. Sandy walked through from the kitchen, two beers in her hand and looked up at her brother, her eyes welling up as she did so. Despite his size, he looked small and broken. Crossing the room, she hugged him without a word, then handed him one of the beers.

‘Here. I think you need this more than I do.’

‘Thanks.’

Sandy returned from the kitchen with a replacement beer for herself and they sat in silence for a few moments.

‘Man, am I stupid!’ Ben said, eventually, shaking his head. He tried to laugh but a strangulated noise replaced the sound.

‘No, you’re not.’

‘A year! Nearly a year and I never suspected a thing!’

‘There was no reason you should have. You trusted her,’ Todd countered.

‘Yeah! Not one of my finer decisions apparently,’ Ben replied as he got up and began pacing the floor. ‘I mean, I know things weren’t perfect but I just thought we’d work through them, you know? I didn’t think she’d ever …’ His voice cracked. ‘I guess if I’m honest, it’s been coming for a while. I just didn’t want to see it. It’s pretty obvious that we have nothing in common. We hold different values. Hell, she practically told me I don’t even satisfy her in bed!’

Across the room Todd raised his eyebrows. He knew a few of the women Ben had dated over the years and that definitely wasn’t the impression he’d been given. Glancing over at his fiancée, he could tell she was just dying to run up and hug her brother, tell him he was way too good for that woman anyway, but she knew that wasn’t the kind of support he needed right now. But Todd could see that inside she was raging with fury at her sister-in-law as her eyes burned with unshed tears at seeing Ben in so much pain.

Ben continued. ‘You know what’s funny, I went to touch her hair earlier today at the ranch. I don’t know … stupid thing … the wind wasn’t moving it and … anyway. Not important. But the thing was, she went absolutely nuts! Her husband goes to touch just her hair and she freaks out yet she’s happy to roll around with God knows who in our bed! How messed up is that?’ He took a swig from the bottle and wiped a stray tear away impatiently. ‘Couldn’t even go to a hotel. Takes him right there, under my nose!’ Todd looked up from his beer bottle and studied his friend. Anger and frustration strained at Ben’s emotional seams. Standing, he placed a hand on Ben’s shoulder, gently steering him towards the garage. Ben looked perplexed at his friend as he took the beer from his hand and then opened the internal door to the garage. Todd nodded to the punchbag and tossed over a pair of gloves.

‘Knock yourself out.’ He gave him a half-smile. ‘Though preferably not literally.’

The sweat was pouring off Ben when he returned half an hour later. His shirt was in a ball in his hand and the waistband of his jeans was damp from his exertions. Sandy walked past him on her way to the kitchen.

‘Poo-eee!’

Ben smiled sarcastically and then hugged her.

‘Ugh! No! Get off! Get off!’ she yelled, pushing him away. His mouth attempted a smile.

‘Feel better?’ Todd ventured.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I do.’ He paused. ‘Thanks.’ Todd nodded in acceptance.

‘Are you going to take a shower?’ Sandy asked, having retreated to a safe distance.

‘Is that a hint?’

‘More of a demand.’ She smiled at him. ‘Throw out your stuff and I’ll wash it.’

‘OK, thanks.’ Ben headed off to the guest room and shower and then poked his head back around the corner. ‘For everything.’

Sandy smiled, kissed him on the cheek and then pushed him towards the bathroom.

Chapter 4
One Year Later

‘Try to stay in one piece.’ Sandy smiled and kissed her fiancé, before burying her face in his neck. ‘I wish you wouldn’t do this,’ she whispered.

Todd turned his head and kissed her temple. Gently he took her face in his hands and kissed her, long and loving, before pulling back and meeting her eyes.

‘Honey, I’m an old hand at this, you know that. I’ve been doing this since I was five years old. There’s nothing to worry about. OK?’ She nodded against his hands, unconvinced.

Pulling her to him, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, their bodies as close as he could make them. ‘Besides, you think I’d do anything that would risk me not coming back to you every night?’ She shook her head against his chest.

Stepping back, he took her face again. ‘Ok, then,’ he said, kissing her goodbye. ‘I’ll see you this evening.’

Sandy nodded and forced a smile as he brushed his fingers against hers, then jogged to the kerb. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go!’ Todd said, climbing into Ben’s truck as Sandy walked up to the driver’s side and smiled at her big brother.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey.’

‘Have a good time.’

Ben leant out of the window and kissed Sandy on the cheek. ‘We will. Now stop worrying. I’ll look after him. I promise.’ She smiled and waved until they turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

Sandy read the same line of her novel five times before giving up and closing the book. It was always the same – she just couldn’t concentrate when Todd went to the rodeo. Mostly she went with him but she had an appointment with the wedding reception venue this afternoon that they’d been waiting ages for. It was an extremely popular location and already had bookings three years in advance; although it was their dream choice, there was no way they wanted to wait that long. Thankfully a cancellation slot that worked for them had come up and Sandy didn’t want to risk losing it by not seeming interested. Obviously, she’d rather they’d both been going but Todd had been doing rodeo ever since she’d known him and there were always dates that he wasn’t available. As she hadn’t been able to change the venue appointment, it was what it was. Todd had already told her that whatever she chose he’d be happy with, saying that all he wanted was to marry her and he’d happily do that in shorts and sneakers on the back porch so long as it meant he got to spend the rest of his life with her. Anything else that would make her happy was a bonus. Staring at the cover of the novel for a moment, she tossed it down and grabbed her car keys instead.

It was always an enjoyable drive out to Ben’s ranch. There was an open offer to close friends and family to ride the horses whenever they liked and right then, she felt it might help take her mind off worrying about Todd.

As she pulled into the drive, she smiled. It really was a beautiful house with its wooden slats and shutters, and the porch wrapping around it as though it was giving the house a big hug. Sandy parked the car out front and began walking down to the stables.

*

Ben and Todd had been coming to the rodeo for longer than either of them could remember. Todd had been fascinated by it from his very first visit and had been addicted ever since. He’d begged to be allowed to take part and eventually his family had relented. A natural talent, he was soon winning local and then national championships. The draw of it hadn’t diminished as he’d got older and he’d been lucky, he knew. There was no denying that it was dangerous and he’d seen more than his fair share of injuries to both clowns and riders. He hated that it upset Sandy when he took part but they’d made a deal that once they were married, he’d stop. Their plan was to start a family soon after anyway, so he had a feeling free time was going be pretty scarce. Aside from which, why would he be here when he could be somewhere else that meant everything to him?

‘Feels weird Sandy not being here today,’ he said to Ben as he got ready for his first ride.

Ben nodded. ‘She really wants that venue though.’

Todd smiled. ‘That’s true. She’s had her heart set on it ever since we got engaged. I kind of feel bad I’m not there with her. Maybe I should have cancelled today.’

‘You’ve visited that place before, right?’

Todd bent and adjusted his boot. ‘Mm-hmm. We got a tour like the day after the engagement.’

‘OK. So today’s what? Just more details?’ Ben asked.

Todd shrugged. ‘I guess so.’

‘Does any of that matter to you? I mean, would you even notice if the bows were satin instead of silk?’

He straightened and stretched his back. ‘All that matters to me is marrying your sister.’

‘So, stop worrying about it. If Sandy had really wanted you to go, she’d have told you. I think we both know that. I’m pretty sure you’d just be in the way today.’

Pushing on his hat, Todd grinned. ‘Something tells me you might be right.’

Ben gave him a quick hug and then clapped his shoulder. ‘Be good and be safe,’ he said.

‘But not in that order.’ Todd finished off their pre-ride ritual, turned and walked across to meet his next challenge.

His friend left to find a good place to watch the next rounds, and sat comfortably chatting with a few of the regulars as they viewed the action, comments and applause mingling as the talent or technique of a particular rider was noted. Glancing over, he could see the top of Todd’s hat as his friend braced himself, ready for the gate to the arena to open.

*

Ben had heard a rodeo arena go silent before and it always turned his blood cold. But this time he was completely frozen. Paralysed by the sight of Todd lying on the arena floor as rodeo clowns risked their lives to keep the still bucking animal away from the broken, unmoving body. And then Ben started to run.

They’d held him back, telling him that the last thing they needed was another person at risk and it had seemed like forever until he was able to see his friend. But Todd couldn’t see him. He’d lost consciousness the moment he’d hit the ground and still hadn’t regained it. As he was wired and tubed up in the ambulance, Ben sat across from him feeling useless and terrified. The siren screamed as they raced through the streets towards the hospital on the other side of town. His hand clutched his phone and he knew what he had to do.

Sandy was just leading Chancer out of the stables, chatting with Jed, when her cell phone rang. She checked the display and blanched.

‘What’s happened?’

*

Jed drove Sandy to the hospital. One look at her face had told him that she wasn’t in any shape to drive herself. From what he’d been able to get out of her, Todd had taken a bad fall at the rodeo and still hadn’t regained consciousness. She was almost out of the truck before Jed had pulled to a halt outside the hospital doors. He watched her sprint inside, waited a moment, then drove away, praying all the way home that Todd would be OK.

*

It had been four days since the accident, and now it wasn’t only Todd’s health worrying loved ones. Still swarming with wires and tubes, there had been no improvement in Todd’s condition but neither was there any deterioration. Sandy had refused to leave her fiancé’s bedside from the moment she’d been allowed to see him. She wouldn’t eat and barely slept. Occasionally slumber stole over her, trying to embrace her in its warm comfort but she fought against it with a powerful vengeance and, so far, she was winning.

Ben studied his sister as he placed yet another cup of coffee on the table beside her.

‘You really ought to try and eat something, sweetheart.’

‘I’m not hungry.

‘Even so.’

She didn’t look at him. She’d barely looked at anyone but her fiancé for days. Her total attention was focused on Todd, hoping for a glimmer of movement, the faintest of signs that he was still in there, and would be back with her soon. Ben took in the dark circles under Sandy’s eyes, the pale skin on her drawn and tired face, his guilt increasing as he did so.

I’ll look after him, he’d said. I promise. And now look where they were. Machines beeping all around, tubes in one place, out of another, while his own sister could only watch, and hope and pray – no expression on her face, no tone in her voice, her entire being centred on Todd.

The doctors had been unable to tell them how long he could be like this. He could wake up tomorrow or it could be weeks … or more. God forbid it was either of the latter, or Sandy herself wasn’t going to be in any fit state to see him.

‘Honey, please eat something. You’re going to make yourself ill.’

Sandy took the coffee cup and sipped at the hot liquid as Ben walked around to the other side of the bed and gazed down at Todd. Incredibly, all that showed externally from the fall was a broken wrist and a slight bruise on his temple.

‘See ya later, buddy,’ Ben said, closing a hand over his friend’s for a moment. Crossing back, he placed a gentle kiss on the top of Sandy’s hair, not that she noticed, then quietly closed the door on his way out.

‘Any news?’ Molly asked as soon as he entered the house.

He’d been staying at his parents since the accident as it was closer to the hospital. And maybe, if he truly admitted it to himself, because he didn’t want to be alone right now.

‘No change,’ Ben replied. He hung his coat on the rack and looked back at his mother. ‘What can I do, Mama? I feel like I should be able to do something!’

‘There’s nothing any of us can do but pray, sweetheart.’

‘But—’

‘Ben, it wasn’t your fault. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. Todd was going to that rodeo with or without you. Thanks to you he’s getting the best medical treatment possible. All we can do now is wait. In the meantime, you can go wash your hands ready for supper.’

‘I’m not real—’

‘Ben, please! I already have one child who’s barely eating. Please don’t make me worry over you too.’ Molly gripped the cloth she was holding, her knuckles showing white, the worry over Todd and Sandy etched into her face. He turned at her raised voice, seeing the panic and fear his mother was trying so desperately to keep inside.

With Todd being the son of family friends, they’d all been overjoyed when his and Sandy’s friendship blossomed into something more serious. Whereas Ellie was their surrogate daughter, Todd was like another son and their joy at the news they were to gain him officially as their son-in-law had now been replaced by the fear that they might lose him altogether.

‘It’s OK, Mom,’ Ben whispered. ‘He’s going to be just fine.’ Molly issued a small sob that in turn released more. She began to shake under her son’s strong embrace. Gently, he led her to the chair and sat on the arm beside her. He didn’t really know what to say so he said nothing, and just held her.

‘They were so happy!’ Molly cried, ‘They had their whole lives ahead of them!’

‘And they still have! Nothing’s changed that. Todd is going to be just fine and they’re still going to get married and have seventeen kids and three dogs and then ask you to babysit!’

Molly smiled, fear in her eyes. ‘Do you really think so?’

‘Yeah, I really do,’ Ben answered honestly. There was no other choice than to believe it.

‘I’m so worried.’

‘I know.’

‘She won’t talk to anyone.’

‘I know. It’s just her way of dealing with it. She’s trying to be brave so we won’t worry.’

‘But she doesn’t have to be brave, Ben! She’s my baby girl! That’s what I’m here for!’

‘I know Mama, I know.’

*

Ben fiddled with the crystal stem of the wineglass, a thousand thoughts turning over in his mind. Through the window he could see his parents on the swing of the back porch, nestling against one another, exchanging fears and hopes in whispered voices. They’d asked him to join them but he’d declined, feeling that they should be able to say everything they wanted to to each other in private. As big as he was, and as old as he was, they’d still want to try and protect him – put him before themselves. But right now, they needed their own space and time as each of them tried to process the situation. Taking another sip, he set the glass back down on the table. He couldn’t remember a time he’d felt so helpless. Or so alone.

As he sat back up, a picture on the wall caught his eye. It had been taken years ago. God! How young they all looked, he thought, smiling at the memory. Suddenly it struck him …

‘The number you are calling …’ Ben debated whether to leave a message as the automated voice continued on. ‘Leave a message after the – Hello?’ A human voice interrupted the answer machine. ‘Hello?’ it said again when there was no reply.

‘Ellie?’

‘Who’s calling?’ She sounded wary.

‘Ellie? It’s Ben. Ben Danvers.’ The relief at hearing her voice was incredible. There was a slight pause.

‘What’s happened?’ Ben started from the beginning and explained that he’d thought perhaps if he could get her to call Sandy, she might open up a bit. If she was going to talk to anyone, it’d be Ellie. They’d supported each other from their early years and Ellie was the one person Sandy wouldn’t feel she had to be brave for. Her brother felt it had to be worth a shot.

‘Truth is, I really don’t know what else to try. You’re kind of my last hope. She’s just ignoring her phone mostly, but if she heard your ringtone … maybe …?’

‘Yes, of course. Is there anything else I can do?’

‘Hope and pray with the rest of us.’

‘That goes without saying.’ She paused. ‘Ben, are you OK?’

‘Yeah. Don’t worry about me.’ There was a lightness to his reply that he didn’t feel.

‘Well, I’m not entirely sure I believe that so I’m sending you a hug down the line anyway.’ He smiled. Sandy and Ellie’s standard phone hug.

She paused. ‘Did you get it?’

‘Yeah,’ he said in a quiet voice. ‘I got it.’

They said their goodbyes and Ben hung up.

‘I got it,’ he whispered again to himself. Suddenly he felt ashamed that in such a situation he was standing there wishing she’d delivered the hug in person.

*

Ellie made the call immediately after Ben hung up and thankfully, his hunch had paid off. Her best friend’s distinctive ringtone had nudged his sister from her trance and she’d picked up.

‘I’m so scared, Ellie!’ Sandy had whispered into the phone.

‘I know.’

‘Everyone is so worried, I don’t want them to worry about me too so I’m just trying to be brave when they’re around.’ Sandy paused. ‘Ben always has fussed over me. I guess that’s why he called you.’

‘Something like that,’ Ellie responded softly. Sandy could see her friend’s face in her mind’s eye, the gentle smile that accompanied the last statement. Suddenly a sob wrenched out.

‘Oh Ellie, I wish you were here!’

‘Oh, Sand! So do I.’ Across the Atlantic, Ellie felt for her friend, the pain in her voice tore deep into her heart. ‘I feel so useless. Is there anything I can do?’

‘You’ve helped already, El. I’m so glad Ben called you.’

‘Me too.’

‘You’ll call again tomorrow, won’t you?’ Ellie heard the edge of panic in the question.

‘Of course.’

‘I miss you so much.’

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