The author of twenty-five books, Erica Spindler is best known for her spine-tingling thrillers. Her novels have been published all over the world, selling over six million copies, and critics have dubbed her stories “thrill-packed, page-turners, white-knuckle rides and edge-of-your-seat whodunits.”

Erica is a New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author. In 2002, her novel Bone Cold won the prestigious Daphne du Maurier Award for excellence.

Also by Erica Spindler

SEE JANE DIE

IN SILENCE

DEAD RUN

SHOCKING PINK

BONE COLD

ALL FALL DOWN

KILLER TAKES ALL

COPYCAT

ERICA SPINDLER

CAUSE FOR ALARM

www.mirabooks.co.uk

For my sons

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I wish to extend a special thanks to Detective Quintin Peterson, Metropolitan Police Department, Washington, DC, for not only answering my questions about the MPD, but for bringing it to life. Special thanks also to Vicki and John Faivre for information on fly-fishing locales. A picture really is worth a thousand words. I’d also like to offer a huge hug of gratitude to Dianne Moggy and the amazing MIRA crew for helping me pull a rabbit out of a hat with this one. Time was definitely not on my side. Thanks also to Chuck and Evelyn Vagnier, Cover to Cover bookstore, Mandeville, Louisiana, for helping me locate all sorts of out-of-the-ordinary research materials. And finally, thanks to my incomparable agent, Evan Marshall, and my ever-helpful and always-understanding husband, Nathan.

Prologue

Washington, D.C., 1998

The fashionable Washington neighborhood slept. Not a single light shone up or down the block of high-priced town homes, the only illumination the glow from the streetlamps and the three-quarter moon. The November night chilled; the air was damp, heavy with the scent of decay.

Winter had come.

John Powers climbed the steps to his ex-lover’s front door. He proceeded purposefully but without fanfare, his movements those of a man who depended on not being noticed. Dressed completely in black, he knew he appeared more shadow than man, a kind of ghost in the darkness.

Reaching the top landing, he squatted to retrieve the house key from its hiding place under the stone planter box to the right of the door. During the spring and summer months the planter had been filled with vibrant, sweet-smelling blossoms. But now those same flowers were dead, their stems and leaves curling and black from the cold. As was the eventuality of all living things, their time had come and gone.

John slipped the key into the lock and turned it. The dead bolt slid back; he eased open the door and stepped inside. Easy. Too easy. Considering the parade of men who had come and gone through this door over the years, using this same key, retrieved from this same hiding place, Sylvia should have been more careful.

But then, forethought had never been Sylvia Starr’s strong suit.

John closed the door quietly behind him, pausing a moment to listen, taking those valuable seconds to ascertain the number of people in the house, whether they were sleeping and where they were sleeping. From the living room to his right came the steady ticking of the antique mantel clock. From the bedrooms beyond, the thick snore of a man deeply asleep, a man who had probably drunk too much, one no doubt too old and out of shape to have spent the evening with the ever-enthusiastic and sometimes gymnastic Sylvia.

Too bad for him. He should have gone home to his fat, dependable wife and their ungrateful, cow-faced children. He was about to become a victim of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

John started for the bedroom. He took his weapon from its snug resting place—the waistband of his black jeans, at the small of his back. The pistol, a .22 caliber semiautomatic, was neither powerful nor sexy, but it was small, lightweight and at close range, utterly effective. John had purchased it, as he did all his weapons, secondhand. Tonight he would give it a watery grave in the Potomac.

He entered Sylvia’s bedroom. The couple slept side by side; the bed rumpled, the sheet and blankets twisted around their hips and legs, only half covering them. In the sliver of moonlight that fell across the bed, Sylvia’s left breast stood out in relief, full, round and milky white.

John crossed to where the man slept. He pressed the barrel of the gun to the man’s chest, over his heart. The direct contact served two purposes: it would muffle the sound of the shot and assure John a swift, clean kill. A professional took no chances.

John squeezed the trigger. The man’s eyes popped open, his body convulsed at the bullet’s impact. He gasped for air, the gurgling sound wet as fluid and oxygen met.

Sylvia came immediately awake. She scrambled into a sitting position, the sheet falling away from her.

The man already forgotten, John greeted her. “Hello, Sylvia.”

Making small, squeaky sounds of terror, she inched backward until her spine pressed flat against the bed’s headboard. She moved her gaze wildly back and forth, from John to her twitching, bloody companion, her chest heaving.

“You know why I’ve come,” John murmured. “Where is she, Syl?”

Sylvia moved her mouth, but no sound escaped. She looked only a breath away from dissolving into complete, incoherent hysteria. John sighed and circled the bed, stopping beside her. “Come now, love, pull yourself together. Look at me, not him.” He caught her chin, forcing her gaze to meet his. “Come on, sweetheart, you know I couldn’t hurt you. Where’s Julianna?”

At the mention of her nineteen-year-old daughter, Sylvia shrank back even more. She glanced at her bed partner, still and silent now, then back at John, working, he saw, to pull herself together. “I…I know…everything.”

“That’s good.” He sat beside her on the bed. “So you understand how important it is that I find her.”

Sylvia began to shudder, so violently the bed shook. She brought a hand to her mouth. “H-how…young, John? How young was she when you began leaving my bed to go to hers?”

He arched his eyebrows, amazed at her outrage, amused by it. “Are we feeling maternal suddenly? Have you forgotten how only too happy you were for us to spend time together? To let your lover play daddy? How eager to let me care for her so you could be free?”

“You bastard!” She clutched at the sheet. “I didn’t mean for you to defile her. To…to take my trust and—”

“You’re a whore,” he said simply, cutting her off. “All you’ve ever cared about was your parties and men and the pretty baubles they could give you. Julianna was nothing but a pet to you. Another of your baubles, a means for the tired, old whore to buy a bit of respectability.”

Sylvia lunged at him, claws out. He knocked her backward, easily, the heel of his hand connecting with the bridge of her nose. Her head snapped against the headboard, stunning her. He brought the barrel of his gun to the underside of her chin, pressing it against the pulse that beat wildly there, angling it up toward her brain.

“What Julianna and I share isn’t about fucking, Sylvia. It’s not so base as that, though I doubt you could understand. I taught her about life.” He leaned closer. He smelled her fear, it mixed with the scent of blood and other body fluids, earthy but very much alive; he heard it in the small feral pants that slipped past her lips, the squeaks of a terrified mouse facing a python. “I taught her about love and loyalty and obedience. About commitment. I’m her everything…father figure, friend and mentor, lover. She belongs to me, she always has.”

He tightened his grip on the gun. “I want her back, Sylvia. Now, where is she? What have you done with her?”

“Nothing,” she whispered. “She…went on her…her own. Sh-she…” Her gaze drifted to the dead man beside her, to the ever growing pool of red, creeping across the white satin coverlet. Her voice shuddered to a halt.

With his free hand, John grabbed a handful of her hair and jerked her face back to his. “Look at me, Sylvia. Only at me. Where did she go?”

“I…I don’t know. I…”

He tightened his grip on her hair and shook her. “Where, Syl?”

She began to giggle, the sound unnaturally high, otherworldly. She brought a hand to her mouth as if to hold the giggles back; they bubbled from her lips anyway. “She came to me…you wanted her to have an abortion. I told her…you’re a…monster. A cold-blooded killer. She didn’t believe me, so I called Clark.” Her giggles became triumphant, bizarrely so, given her situation. “He showed her pictures of your handiwork. Proof, John. Proof.”

John froze, his fury awesome, glacial. Clark Russell, CIA grunt man, former comrade-in-arms, one of Sylvia’s lovers. One who knew too much about John Powers.

Clark Russell was a dead man.

John leaned toward Sylvia, the gun forcing her head back, her chin up. “Clark sharing classified information? I guess you’re a better lay than I thought.” He narrowed his eyes, disliking the way his heart had begun to hammer, his palms to sweat. “You shouldn’t have done that, Syl. It was a mistake.”

“To hell with you!” she cried, her voice rising. “You won’t find her! I told her to run, as fast and as far as she could…to save herself and the baby! You’ll never find her. Never!”

For a split second he considered the horror of that possibility, then he laughed. “Of course I will, Sylvia. It’s what I do. And when I find her, the problem will be eliminated. Then Julianna and I will be together again, the way we’re supposed to be.”

“You won’t! Never! You—”

He pulled the trigger. Brains and blood splattered across the antique white headboard and onto the pretty rose-patterned wallpaper beyond. John gazed at the mess a moment, then stood. “Goodbye, Sylvia,” he murmured, then turned and went in search of Julianna.

Part I

Kate and Richard

1

Mandeville, Louisiana, New Year’s Eve, 1998

Light blazed from every window of Kate and Richard Ryan’s grand old home on Mandeville’s Lakeshore Drive. The house had been built nearly a century before, at a time when gracious southern living meant something, a time before MTV and the breakdown of the American family, before it was okay for politicians to cheat on their wives and before the evening news calmly recounted grisly murders as if the daily occurrence of such events wasn’t a horror in and of itself.

The house, with its double, wraparound galleries and floor-to-ceiling windows, spoke of wealth, of status, of solidity. Of family. The family Kate and Richard would never have.

Kate stepped out onto the house’s upper gallery, shutting the French doors behind her, muffling the sounds of the New Year’s Eve party in full swing inside. The January night, bitter cold and blustery for southern Louisiana, slapped her in the face. Crossing to the gallery’s edge, she gazed out at the black, turbulent lake. She curled her fingers around the rail and leaned into the wind, unconcerned at the way it tore at her hair and cut through her thin, shirred velvet gown.

Across Lake Pontchartrain, connected by a twenty-six-mile causeway, lay New Orleans, a decaying jewel of a city, home to Mardi Gras and jazz and some of the best food in the world. Home, also, to the privilege of St. Charles Avenue, the poverty of the projects and the soaring crime rate that went with such explosive extremes.

Kate imagined the party happening on that shore, one celebrating not only the new year, but the last year in the century as well. A turning point, the end to an era, a door closing.

For her, too, she thought. And Richard.

Before the holidays, she and her husband had been forced to face the fact that they would never have children. The results of their last tests had been conclusive: Richard was sterile. Up to that point they had assumed their inability to conceive had been the result of her many, varied but correctable, problems. But when none of those corrections had done the trick, the doctor had insisted on testing Richard.

The results had devastated them both. Kate had been angry—at the world, at God, at all the people who had babies so effortlessly and with such little care. She had felt betrayed. Useless. Cast adrift.

And then she had felt better. For even though they hadn’t gotten the answer they’d wanted, at least they had one. She could give up the exhausting and emotionally draining quest for pregnancy and get on with her life; they could get on with their lives.

Infertility treatments had taken their toll. On her personally. On her and Richard’s marriage, on their professional lives. A part of her felt nothing but sweet relief at getting off that roller coaster, at being able to finally let it go.

If only she could let go of her longing for a child, her longing to be a mother. Some nights she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, the ache inside her so great she couldn’t sleep.

Strong arms circled her from behind. Richard’s arms. “What are you doing out here?” he whispered, bending his head close to her ear. “And without a coat? You’ll catch your death.”

She shook off her melancholy and smiled over her shoulder at her husband of ten years. “With you to keep me warm? I don’t think so.”

He grinned, and his eyes crinkled at the corners. At that moment he looked as boyishly handsome at thirty-five as he had at twenty when she met him. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “We could get naked and do the wild thing. Right here. Right now.”

“Sounds kinky.” She turned in his arms and looped hers around his neck. “I’m game.”

He laughed and leaned his forehead against hers. “And what would our guests think?”

“Hopefully they’re all too well-mannered to wander up here uninvited.”

“And if they’re not?”

“They’ll see a side of us they never have before.”

“What would I do without you?” He dropped a kiss on her mouth and drew slightly away from her. “It’s about time for me to make my announcement.”

“Nervous?”

“Who me?” He laughed and shook his head. “Never.”

He meant it, Kate knew. Her husband’s self-confidence never ceased to amaze her. Tonight, he was announcing his intention to run for St. Tammany Parish District Attorney, yet he wasn’t nervous. He wasn’t anxious or plagued by self-doubt and second thoughts.

Why should he be? He expected his announcement to be applauded by their family and friends, by his business associates and the leaders of the community. And he expected not only to win the race, but that the run would be nearly effortless.

Of course he did. Richard had always lived a kind of starred existence. Had always been the chosen one, the one voted most likely to succeed, the winner. He wore success as comfortably as others wore ten-year-old athletic shoes.

“You’re certain Larry, Mike and Chas are one hundred percent behind this?” she asked, referring to his law partners at Nicholson, Bedico, Chaney & Ryan.

“Absolutely. What about you, Kate?” He searched her gaze. “Are you one hundred percent behind me? If I win, our lives will change. We’ll be scrutinized, constantly under the magnifying glass.”

“Trying to frighten me off?” she teased, leaning against him. “Well, it won’t work. I’m one hundred percent behind you and your decision. And you might as well forget about ‘If you’re going to win,’ because you are. I’m certain of it.”

“With you at my side, how can I not?”

When she tried to laugh off his words, he cupped her face in his palms and gazed into her eyes. “I mean it. You have magic, Katherine Mary McDowell Ryan. You always have. Thank you for sharing it with me.”

Tears stung her eyes. She chided herself for her earlier melancholy and silently counted her blessings. The girl who’d worn shoes with holes in the soles and hand-me-down school uniforms to St. Catherine’s, the girl who had never known the security of a comfortable home, the one who had attended Tulane University on a scholarship, squeaking by borrowing books and waiting tables at night, had come a long way. In no small part because Richard Ryan, favorite son of one of New Orleans’ first families had unbelievably, miraculously, fallen in love with her.

“I love you, Richard.”

“Thank God.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “Now, can we please go inside?”

She agreed and within minutes they were swept back into the party, surrounded, then separated by their jubilant guests. Richard made his announcement and, as expected, his news was greeted by those not already in the know with cheers of approval.

From that moment on, the party became almost manic. As if all in attendance had been struck by a strange sort of energy, a sense that life as it had been was about to change. The year 1999. The fin de siècle. The stuff of the future, of science fiction, of uncertainty and the unknown—not of the now. Not of everyday lives.

Midnight came. Confetti and streamers flew and horns sounded. Hugs and kisses were exchanged, more champagne drunk. The caterer served a buffet brunch. It was eaten and enjoyed then finally, one by one, Kate and Richard’s guests began to leave.

As Richard walked the last out, Kate began picking up even though they’d contracted a cleaning service to take care of the mess first thing in the morning.

“God, you’re beautiful.”

She looked up. Richard stood in the doorway between the dining room and front parlor, watching her. She smiled. “And you’re flushed with success. Or alcohol.”

“Both. But it’s still true. You’re gorgeous.”

She wasn’t, she knew. She was attractive, with an ageless, angular kind of face. Not gorgeous or sexy. Not a knockout. Classy, maybe. Solid, definitely. “I’m glad you think so.”

“You never could take a compliment. Because of your old man.”

“You have good bones, Katherine Mary McDowell,” she said, imitating her father’s slight brogue. “Never underestimate the importance of good bones and teeth.” She laughed. “Like a work horse, for heaven’s sake.”

Richard grinned and as Kate had been earlier that evening, she was reminded of the fraternity boy who had swept her—and every other coed on the Tulane campus—off her feet. “Your father did have a way with words.”

“That he did.” She shook her head. “Come give me a hand.”

Instead, he cocked his head studying her, a boyish, pleased expression on his face. “Kate McDowell,” he said softly, “the one many wanted, including my good buddy Luke. But who I won.”

As always happened at the mention of their mutual friend, Luke Dallas, the twin emotions of guilt and longing assailed her. Once upon a time, the three of them had been inseparable. They had been best friends at Tulane; Luke had been her confidant, the person she had turned to for comfort, advice, support. In many ways, she had been closer to him during those years than to Richard.

Then she’d destroyed their friendship with one thoughtless, reckless act of passion and grief.

Uncomfortable with the memory, she shifted her attention to collecting the soiled cups and plates. “You’re drunk,” she said lightly.

“So what? I’m not driving.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Do you deny that Luke was in love with you?”

“We were friends, Richard.”

“And nothing else, right?”

She met his gaze. “We were all friends. I wish that hadn’t changed.”

For a moment, her husband said nothing, just watched her. When he spoke, his mood had mellowed once more. “You’re going to make the perfect politician’s wife.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Are you so sure of that, District Attorney Ryan? I don’t have a pedigree, you know.”

“Classy, beautiful, smart Kate. You don’t need one, you’re married to me.”

She set the empties on a tray and began collecting more. He was right, she supposed. Marrying him had validated her in New Orleans society. She didn’t need a good family, or to have come from money, she had been given his.

For the second time that evening, she thought of her blessings. She had many things to be grateful for, she knew. For her loving husband, their beautiful home. Her own business, a coffeehouse called The Uncommon Bean, which she loved; her stained glass work, plenty of money. All the things she had always told herself that she wanted. That she needed to be completely happy.

“I’m sorry if I upset you with that comment about Luke. I don’t know what gets into me sometimes.”

“It’s been a long night, that’s all.”

Richard crossed to her and took the empty cups from her hands and set them back on the end table. “Leave the mess. That’s what we’re paying the service for.”

“I know, but—”

“No.” He took her hands. “Come with me. I have something for you.”

She laughed. “I’m sure you do.”

“That, too.” He led her to the living room. There, before the still glowing fire, he’d placed two floor pillows. Beside them waited a chilling bottle of champagne and two crystal wine flutes.

They made themselves comfortable. Richard popped the cork on the champagne and poured. He handed her a glass, then held his out. “I thought we should celebrate privately.”

She pinged her glass against his. “To your campaign.”

“No,” he corrected, “to us.”

“I like that. To us.” She smiled, then sipped.

For several minutes, they chatted about the events of the evening, sharing tidbits from conversations they’d had and chuckling over the antics of a couple of their less inhibited guests.

“You make me better than I am, Kate,” Richard murmured, serious suddenly. “You always have.”

“And you’re drunker than I first thought.”

“I’m not.” He took the glass from her hand and set it aside. He laced their fingers. “I know how hard this last year was for you. Because of the…the infertility.”

Her eyes flooded with tears. “It’s okay, Richard. I have so much. It’s wrong for me to want—”

“No, it’s not. And if not for me, you could have it. You could have a baby.”

“That’s not true, Richard. I’m infertile, too, I have—”

“You have fertility problems, Kate. Hormones can be adjusted, endometriosis treated, ovulation stimulated. I’m sterile. Shooting blanks, as they say down at the firm.” Bitterness crept into his tone. “How do you think that makes me feel? To not be able to give you what you want more than anything? To be less than a man.”

It hurt to hear him express his true feelings, ones he hadn’t before. She tightened her fingers on his. “That’s bullshit, Richard,” she said softly, fiercely. “The ability to sire children is not what makes a man. It’s not what makes you a man.”

“No? That’s the way it feels.”

“I know how it feels, because this is my problem, too. Bearing children is something all women are supposed to be able to do. It’s a given, part of being a female. To not be able to without medical technology feels like a betrayal.”

“I’ve let you down,” he said quietly.

“No, Richard…that’s not what I meant.”

“I know. But that’s the way I feel.”

She turned fully to him, clasping his hands in hers. “Who’s to say we’re entitled to everything, anyway? Who’s to say we’re supposed to have all that our hearts desire? Look at us, at all we have. A beautiful home. Successful careers that we enjoy. Each other, Richard. Our love. An embarrassment of riches. Sometimes I have to pinch myself. I can’t believe it’s Kate McDowell who’s living this life. Sometimes I’m afraid I’m having a really good dream and that any minute it’s going to turn into a terrifying nightmare.”

“I won’t let it, sweetheart. I promise.”

She brought his hands to her mouth, a sense of urgency tugging at her. “People have lied, cheated and killed to get what we take for granted, we have to guard what we have by appreciating it. We can’t ever forget how lucky we are. The minute we do, the minute we get greedy, we could lose it all. We can’t forget that, Richard. We can’t. It’s important.”

He laughed. “And you still believe in leprechauns and fairies and the power of a four-leaf clover, don’t you?”

“It could all be gone tomorrow.” She tightened her fingers on his. “I’m serious, Richard.”

“So am I. We can have it all, Kate. I want that for you.” When she opened her mouth to protest, he shushed her with a finger to her lips. “I have something for you. A late Christmas present.” He slipped a business-size envelope from its hiding place under one of the pillows and handed it to her. “Happy New Year, Kate.”

“What is it?”

“Open it and find out.”

She did. It was a letter from Citywide Charities, informing them that they had been accepted into the Agency’s Gifts of Love adoption program.

Kate’s heart began to hammer, her hands to shake. Citywide’s program was the best in the area. They accepted only a handful of couples every year; at the end of that year, or shortly thereafter, those couples would have a baby.

She had studied up on adoption and on the programs and options available in the area. She had looked wistfully at Citywide. But every time she had mentioned adoption to Richard, he had flatly refused to even discuss it.

She lifted her gaze to her husband’s, overcome with emotion, eyes swimming with tears. “What happened? You didn’t think adoption—”

“But you did.”

Tears choked her, and she cleared her throat. “But we…if you don’t really want to adopt, we can’t. It wouldn’t be right.”

“I want to make you happy, Kate. This will be a good thing for us, I know it will. And it’s the right time for us to start a family.”

She couldn’t find her voice, but even if she had she wouldn’t have been able to find the words to express her joy. So she kissed him instead. Deeply and with the love and gratitude that filled her to near bursting.

They had kissed this way many times before, but this time was different, special. This time her heart felt fuller than it ever had before.

By this time next year they would have a child. They would be parents. A real family.

“Thank you,” she whispered again and again as she kissed him. She removed his clothes, he hers. The remnants of the fire warmed them, as did their exploring hands, their exploding passion.

“This is going to be our most perfect year ever,” Richard whispered as he positioned himself above her. “Nothing will ever come between us, Kate. Nothing or no one.”

Part II

Julianna

2

New Orleans, Louisiana, January 1999

The corner sandwich shop was located on one of the central business district’s busiest corners. The shop, Buster’s Big Po’boys, specialized in shrimp-and-oyster po’boys—huge sandwiches made on slabs of French bread and stuffed with fried shrimp, oysters or both. Most New Orleanians ordered them dressed—with lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise, the latter slathered on, good and thick. Of course, if fried seafood didn’t appeal, Buster’s offered all manner of other fillings and even a few nonsandwich specials, like traditional New Orleans red beans and rice on Mondays.

As corner sandwich shops went, Buster’s was pretty run-of-the-mill for the Crescent City—housed in a century-old building, its plaster walls were cracked and peeling, the high ceilings dingy with God only knew how many years of God only knew what; and from June to September, the air conditioner ran full tilt and still couldn’t keep up.

Anywhere else in the country, Buster’s would have been closed down by the health department; New Orleanians considered Buster’s a perfectly acceptable place to grab lunch while downtown.

Julianna Starr pushed open Buster’s glass front door and stepped inside, leaving the cold January day behind. The smell of frying seafood hit her in a nauseating wave, turning her stomach. The smell, she had learned over the past few weeks working as a waitress at Buster’s, permeated everything—her hair and clothes, even her skin. The minute she got home from work, she ripped off her uniform and jumped into the shower to scrub the odor away, no matter how tired or hungry she was.

The only thing worse than the smell of the place, Julianna had decided, was its customers. New Orleanians were so…excessive. They laughed too loudly, ate and drank too much. And they did both with a kind of frenetic abandon. Several times, just watching someone tear into and consume one of the huge, sloppy po’boys had sent her scurrying for the john to throw up. But then, she was one of the lucky ones to whom morning sickness was confined to neither mornings nor the first three months of pregnancy.

Julianna quickly scanned the restaurant, heart sinking. Choosing today to oversleep had been a mistake; the lunch rush appeared to have started early. Only minutes after eleven and every table was filled; the take-out counter already stacked two deep. As Julianna made her way to the back of the restaurant, one of the other waitresses shot her a dirty look.

“You’re late, princess,” her boss called from behind the counter. “Grab an apron and get your tail in gear, you hear?”

Julianna glared at the man. As far as she was concerned, Buster Boudreaux was a grease-sucking pig with an IQ about the size of one of his stupid sandwiches. But he was her boss, and she needed this job, low as it was.

Without a word of explanation, she stalked past him and snatched an apron from the tree just inside the kitchen and slipped it on. The pink-ruffled atrocity rode up over her burgeoning belly, making her look like a pink whale. She muttered her displeasure under her breath, turned to the time clock and punched in.

Buster came up behind her, his expression thunderous. “If you’ve got a problem, why don’t you say it to my face instead of under your breath.”

“I don’t have a problem.” She stuffed her employee card back into its slot. “Where’s my station?”

“Section one. Start servicing the tables as they open back up. In the meantime, give Jane a hand at the take-out counter.”

Julianna didn’t acknowledge him with so much as a nod, and he grabbed her elbow. “I’ve about had it with your attitude, you know that, princess? If I didn’t need the help so bad, I’d kick your uppity butt out of here right now.”

He wanted her to beg for her job, she knew. To plead, grovel before him like some sort of peasant. She would rather starve.

She looked pointedly at his hand on her arm, then met his gaze. “Is there anything else?”

“Yeah,” he said, flushing and dropping his hand. “You’re late like this one more time, and you’re out. I’ll get my grandmother to take your place, she’d do a better job anyway. Got that?”

Sure he would. Creep. “Got it.”

She flounced past him and out onto the floor. As she did, she brushed past Lorena, a fellow waitress, who glared at her and muttered something that Julianna couldn’t quite make out.

Julianna ignored her. It wasn’t the first time she had been the recipient of one of the other waitresses’ barbs. They didn’t like her, particularly Lorena. No doubt because Julianna didn’t make a secret of the fact she hated working here, that she was too good to be serving these big sloppy sandwiches to people who barely looked at her. That she was too good for them.

They didn’t understand, these rough-hewn, classless girls, that she wasn’t meant to have to work this way, to have to be on her feet for hours, to be tired all the time, to be serving people. She had been raised for better things. To be taken care of, to be pampered and adored. Her entire life it had been so; all she’d had to do was smile, cajole or even pout prettily and whatever she had wanted had been given to her. Indeed, if she hadn’t been running so low on the money her mother had given her when she left D.C., she wouldn’t have lowered herself to their level.

She had been on the run for just over three months and in that time, had lived briefly in Louisville, Memphis and Atlanta. Until New Orleans, she had stayed in moderate hotels, eating her meals out, spending her time going to movies and wandering through shopping malls. Until New Orleans, she hadn’t noticed the frightening rate at which her money was disappearing. She hadn’t thought ahead to what being without money would mean or what she would have to do to get more of it. When she had finally realized it wouldn’t last forever, she had been down to her last fifteen hundred dollars.

Wretched and demeaning as it was, Buster’s was a necessity, at least for now.

Julianna sighed and glanced longingly toward the pay phone at the back corner of the restaurant, near the rest rooms, thinking of her mother. Her mother had always said that the power of a woman, one who knew how to use both her beauty and her brains, packed more punch than an atomic bomb. A beautiful woman could move mountains or level cities with nothing more than a carefully chosen glance or smile.

If only she could call her, Julianna thought, suddenly, achingly homesick. If only she could go home.

John, standing above her while she retched, his face pinched, white and terrible with fury. John warning her not to defy him again, telling her he would punish her if she did. Julianna drew in a deep breath. The man and woman from Clark Russell’s photographs, their throats slit from ear to ear.

John was capable of anything. Her mother had said so. So had Clark.

She couldn’t go home, maybe never again.

“Miss? Excuse me, Miss?”

Startled, Julianna blinked. A customer at the table to her right was signaling her.

“We need ketchup.”

Julianna nodded and brought that table their condiment, another their bill, still another their sandwiches. That done, she ducked into the bathroom, something she had to do often these days.

She relieved herself, flushed the toilet, let herself out of the stall and stopped dead. A woman stood at the mirror, applying lipstick. She had hair the color of cinnamon; it fell in soft waves almost to her shoulders.

Julianna closed her eyes, her mind hurtling back fourteen years….

Her mother sat at her vanity, dressed only in her bra, panties and garter belt. Julianna stood in the doorway, watching as she leaned closer to the mirror and applied her lipstick. She drew the color evenly over her mouth, then pressed her lips together to smooth it.

Admiration and awe filled Julianna. “You’re so pretty, Mama,” she whispered, forgetting herself.

Her mother turned. And smiled. “Thank you, honey. Remember, though, when it comes to your mama, we say ‘beautiful.’ You’re pretty. Mama’s beautiful.”

Julianna bowed her head. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay, sweetie, just remember next time.”

Julianna nodded and inched into the bedroom, unsure if she was welcome or not. When her mother didn’t protest, she sat gingerly on the edge of the big, satin-covered bed, careful not to crumple her dress.

She straightened her white pinafore and inspected her black patent shoes, looking for scuffs and finding none. Her mother had many rules she expected Julianna to follow, so many it was sometimes hard for five-year-old Julianna to remember them.

But Julianna never forgot that wrinkled, mussed clothing would be met with great displeasure and swift punishment. Especially when company was coming.

“Who’s visiting tonight, Mama?” she asked, resisting the urge to rub her toes together, though she liked the squeaky sound the shiny leather made when she did. “Uncle Paxton?”

“No.” Her mother took a stocking from the box on the vanity top. “Someone special.” She eased the shimmery, silky fabric up her leg, then clipped a garter to it. “Someone very special.”

“What’s his name?”

“John Powers,” her mother murmured, her expression growing faraway and soft looking. “I met him at that party at the Capital last week. The one I told you about.”

“Where they had sandwiches shaped like swans.”

“Canapés. That’s right.”

Julianna tilted her head, studying her mother. He must be special, she decided. She had never seen her mama look quite this way when talking about one of her visitors.

“I expect you to be on your best behavior.”

“Yes, Mama.”

“If you’re a really good girl, I might buy you that doll you’ve been wanting. The one with the long brown curls, just like yours.”

Julianna knew what her mother meant by being really good. It meant she was to be quiet. And cooperative. And what her mother called charming. Being really good would be rewarded. Not only by her mother, but by her gentleman friends, too. They brought her candy and small toys, they fussed over her, called her adorable, cute, pretty.

And then her mother sent her to her room.

Julianna figured that one of these days, if she was good enough, charming enough, she wouldn’t be sent to her room. One of these days, when she was older, she would have very special visitors of her own.

“I will, Mama. I promise.”

“Run along now and let me finish dressing, John will be here any moment.”

“Miss? You okay?”

Julianna blinked, startled out of her reverie. “What?”

“You okay?” The woman at the mirror dropped her lipstick back into her purse. “You were starin’ funny at me, like you seen a ghost or somethin’.”

Julianna blinked again, really seeing the woman before her for the first time. She had rough, pebbly skin and her cinnamon hair was obviously hers courtesy of a bottle. And a cheap one at that.

How had she ever thought this woman looked anything like her mother?

“I’m fine,” Julianna whispered, crossing to the sink to wash her hands. “I just…I don’t know what happened.”

The woman smiled and patted her arm. “Had six kids of my own. Nothin’ plays havoc with the mind like them hormones. It’ll get better. Then it’ll be them kids playin’ havoc with your mind.”

The woman cackled, patted her arm again and left the bathroom.

Julianna stared after her, unsettled by what had just happened. The memory had been so vivid; it had come upon her with such force and left her feeling so vulnerable. So alone.

She missed her mother, she thought, tears pricking her eyes. She missed Washington and her comfortable apartment. She missed feeling pretty and special. And safe.

The bathroom door swung open and Lorena stuck her head in, her expression annoyed. “You going to stay in here all day, or what? Your tables are lookin’ for you.”

Though the other woman was already gone, Julianna nodded in response and hurried back out to the dining room.

The remainder of Julianna’s day passed minute by agonizing minute, hour by excruciating hour. As the lunch crowd thinned, then became nonexistent, Julianna became aware of how much her feet and back hurt, of how tired she was.

She worked alongside the other waitresses, refilling the condiments, wiping down the tables and putting up the chairs, preparing for the next day. Buster’s stopped serving at three. Opening for dinner would be a waste of time and money—this part of the central business district became a graveyard at 5:00 p.m. when the law offices and other businesses let out for the day.

Julianna didn’t listen to or participate in the other women’s chatter. Every so often, she would become aware of one of them looking speculatively at her or making an ugly face in her direction. She ignored them and kept her attention fixed on her tasks so she could finish up and go home.

Finally, all the preparations for the next morning had been made, and she’d punched out. As Julianna reached for the door, Lorena stepped in front of it, blocking Julianna’s way. The other three waitresses came up beside Lorena, flanking her, their expressions tight and angry. “Not so fast, Miss Priss. We’ve got a bone to pick with you.”

Julianna stopped, glancing nervously from one to the other of the women. “Is something wrong?”

Lorena, obviously having been voted the leader of the pack, took a step toward her. “You could say that. We’re sick and tired of your attitude. Of you thinking you’re better than the rest of us. And we’re sick and tired of having to cover for your lazy butt.”

At the animosity in the older woman’s tone and expression, Julianna inched backward, glancing over her shoulder, looking for Buster. He was nowhere to be seen.

“Where do you get off, thinkin’ you’re so much better than us?” Lorena took another step; the others followed. “Just ’cause you went and got yourself knocked up, you think you don’t have to work? You think a bun in the oven makes you special or somethin’?”

Another one of the girls, Suzi, pointed a long, bloodred fingernail at her. “When you show up late, we’ve gotta cover your tables. That means we’re working our tails off and getting crappy tips all around.”

“And we’re sick of it,” Jane said.

“I overslept,” Julianna said stiffly. “I didn’t do it on purpose, for Pete’s sake.”

That, obviously, wasn’t the response they wanted, because angry color flooded Lorena’s round face. She looked like a bleached blond balloon about to pop. “I’ve got a question for you, princess. One we’ve all wondered about. If you’re so frickin’ high and mighty, why’re you working in a dive like this? And if yours is so special it don’t stink, where’s your old man? Why’d he go and dump you the moment you got knocked up?”

“Yeah,” Suzi added. “Or do you even know who the baby’s father is?”

“Bet she doesn’t,” Jane taunted, before Julianna could jump to her own defense. “She’s just a little slut who likes to put on airs.”

Lorena laughed. “You’re pathetic, you know that? I feel sorry for you. We all do.” She leaned closer, smelling of Juicy Fruit gum and drugstore perfume. “You’re not going to make it, you know that? You or your little bastard. Come on, girls.”

With that, the three turned and flounced out of the restaurant.

Julianna watched them go, tears welling in her eyes, threatening to spill over. Is that what they thought of her? What everyone thought of her? She brought her hands to her belly, self-conscious, humiliated. That she was pathetic? A woman rejected and without options? Lower, worse off than they were?

It had never occurred to her that others would look at her that way. That they would feel sorry for her.

Nobody had ever felt sorry for her before. She caught her breath and dropped her hands from her belly. She had never felt sorry for herself before. Not this way, not to the very core of her being.

She closed her eyes and thought of Washington, of the fine restaurants where she had dined on a daily basis, of the day spa where she’d had massages and facials and manicures, of her pretty apartment and closet overflowing with expensive dresses.

But mostly, she thought of John. She brought a trembling hand to her mouth.

Could he really be the monster her mother said he was?

From the kitchen, she heard Buster and the cook finishing up, preparing to lock up for the day. Not wanting them to catch her near tears, she hurried out of the restaurant and into the chill, late afternoon.

Julianna pulled her coat tighter around her. The sidewalks were crowded with workers heading home after the long work day. The St. Charles Avenue streetcar rumbled to a stop at the curb before her. Sun glinted off the glass, momentarily blinding her. A cloud drifted over the sun; the streetcar passed.

And she saw John.

He had found her.

She caught her breath, and took an involuntary step backward, panicked. He stood directly across the street from her, his head turned slightly away, as if gazing up St. Charles Avenue, looking for someone or something.

For her. Or for a place to take her and kill her.

Julianna froze, uncertain what to do—able to do little but stare, her heart pounding so heavily in her chest, she could hardly breathe.

The way it had fourteen years ago, when she had met him for the very first time. He’d been the most handsome man she had ever seen, tall and strong-looking and young, not shriveled and prunelike the way Senator Paxton was or fat and bald like Justice Lambert.

John hadn’t been like any of her mother’s other men friends.

Her mother had introduced her to him, calling her softly forward, letting her Alabama roots show in her gentle drawl.

“This is my baby,” she said. “My Julianna.”

Julianna curtsied, keeping her eyes downcast, the way her mama had taught her.

“Julianna, honey, say hello to Mr. Powers.”

“How do you do,” she said, her cheeks growing hot, wanting more than anything to really look at him.

“Hello, Julianna,” he said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

She dared a bold peek up at him, then another. She made a small sound of surprise. “Your hair’s white,” she said. “Like snow.”

“Yes, it is.”

“But how come?” She drew her eyebrows together, confused. “You’re not old and wrinkly like Dr. Walters and he has white hair.” She tilted her head. “You’ve got lots more than him, too.”

Her mother gasped, and Julianna knew she had made a mistake. But John Powers wasn’t angry. He laughed, the sound deep and rich and really…nice. She decided she liked him better than all her mother’s other friends.

He squatted down before her and gazed into her eyes—in a way none of her mother’s other friends ever had. In a way no one ever had.

As if she were as important as a grown-up. As if she were special.

“It turned white overnight,” he said. “I was on a mission. I almost died.”

She widened her eyes. “You almost died?”

“That’s right.” He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “I survived by eating bugs.”

She sucked in a sharp breath. “Bugs?”

“Mmm. Big, ugly ones.”

“Tell me about them.”

“Someday. Someday I’ll tell you all about it.”

“Okay,” Julianna said, hanging her head, disappointed.

He gathered her hands in his and for long moments simply gazed at her, his expression serious. Then he smiled. “I have a feeling about us, Julianna. Do you want to know what it is?” She nodded eagerly, and he continued. “I have the feeling that you and I are going to be the very best of friends. Would you like that?”

She glanced up at her mother, saw that she looked pleased, then back at John Powers. “Yes, Mr. Powers. I’d like that very much.”

The best of friends. The father she’d never had. Her protector. Her lover.

John Powers had become her everything.

And now he wanted her dead.

A horn ripped through air, followed by a shouted epithet. Julianna blinked, startled out of her reverie. She looked around her, disoriented. People, anxious to get home after a long day of work, streamed around her, a few sending her curious glances. John, if that had really been him, was gone.

Gone. She blinked again, despair rising up in her, stealing her breath. The past, her former life. John. All gone.

Pulling her coat tighter around her, she turned and walked away.

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