# I Am No Longer Myself Without You: How Men Love Women

Jonathan Rutherford

Why do words fail men when they need them most? Why is the subject of what men want emotionally, shrouded in silence? This is a book that attempts, in the style of Blake Morrison and Richard Rayner, to put men’s experience of Love into words.’A slim, elegantly written account, packed with quotations from poetry, fiction, cinema, items from newspapers, popular culture and personal anecdote, which argues that silence in the face of emotion is the predominant male response. Inarticulacy is still the norm… Rutherford doesn’t offer solutions but his assessments are both thoughtful and revealing and his anecdotes, particularly those from his own experience, pinpoint why men do what they do… As befits this huge subject, his frame of reference is wide from T.S. Eliot to Francis Fukuyama, Families Without Fathers to Men Behaving Badly. Non academic in tone, this book is very much for Rutherford’s own generation, those in their 30s and 40s who have had the post-war upbringing he explores. It will have less to say to men in their 60s and 70s, though it might help them understand their sons. And women, emotionally articulate lot that they are, will love it.’ CAROLINE GASCOIGNE, Sunday Times

JONATHAN RUTHERFORD

### I AM NO LONGER MYSELF WITHOUT YOU: How Men Love Women

AN ANATOMY OF LOVE


## Copyright

Fourth Estate

An Imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

This paperback edition 2000

First published in Great Britain by Flamingo 1999 Copyright © Jonathan Rutherford 1999

Jonathan Rutherford asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Source ISBN: 9780006530381

Ebook Edition © FEBRUARY 2012 ISBN: 9780007485345

Version: 2016-01-07

## CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

1 SILENCE

2 MOTHER

3 FATHER

4 NEW MEN

5 ROMANCE

6 SEDUCTION

7 LOVE

Acknowledgements

About the Author

About the Publisher