Copyright

HarperCollinsPublishers

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First published by HarperCollinsPublishers in 2015

Text copyright © 2015 Simon Holland

Illustrations by Erica Salcedo Saiz

Cover and interior design by Rosamund Saunders

Cat-sultant: Carron Brown

Cover images © Shutterstock

A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

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Source ISBN 978-0-00-794929-8

EPub Edition © October 2016 ISBN 9780008150426

Version: 2016-09-13

Dedication

In memory of Rupert, the Über-Cat.

And to Smudge, who always scores well.

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Introduction

Chapter One: Physical Tests

Chapter Two: Territorial Tests

Chapter Three: Meteorology and Cat Cosmology

Chapter Four: Psychological Tests

Chapter Five: Supernatural Tests

The Scores

Acknowledgements

About the Publisher

General Certificate of Feline Excellence

Introduction

It’s fair to say that cats have always had a head start on humans. The distant ancestors of cats appeared about 30 million years ago, while ours came about only two or three million years ago – with modern humans dragging their heels (or the backs of their hands?) until their eventual appearance on the evolutionary scene roughly 200,000 years ago.

We now know that humans have been living with cats, or keeping them as pets, for over 12,000 years. So by the time of the ancient Egyptians – who elevated cats to a god-like status about 3,600 years ago – cats had already had more than enough time to get their paws under the antique coffee tables of some of the most successful human civilizations in history.

When cats and humans first crossed paths, it would have been obvious to cats that humans were there for the taking. These docile, pliable, manipulable mammals were lolloping about on two legs – which seemed to be some kind of ‘amazing novelty’ – and were far too impressed by fire to notice the feline forms slipping tasty marshmallows from their campfire sticks.

‘At last,’ thought the cats, ‘our days of foraging and fending for ourselves are over. We’ve finally found a species gullible enough to do it all for us.’

But over the last 10,000 years or so, maybe domestic cats have become a bit complacent. And maybe there just aren’t enough challenges anymore . . . not enough stresses left in feline life to keep cats shimmying up the evolutionary scale.

It’s time for them to start thinking outside the basket, and here’s how you – the cat owner – can help.

With the aid of this book, you can set your pet a series of tasks and activities that will reveal the complex nature of their existing skills and abilities. At the same time – who knows? – these challenges may also have the knock-on effect of boosting their brilliance and teasing some new feline adaptations out of their evolutionary slumber . . . so that cats can conquer the modern world all over again.

Measuring Your Cat’s Ingenuity

Testing your cat for signs of intelligence, ingenuity and originality can be great fun, because it also teases out the facets of your pet’s personality. Cats are not always as predictable as other animals, because – although domesticated – they’ve retained little bits and pieces of their wildness, their independence, their esprit d’aventure. They make decisions based on how they feel, or how much they feel they can get away with. Perhaps this is what makes them such fascinating and entertaining animals to have around: they would probably prefer to please themselves before they pleased you, but in doing so they provide something of a comical nature documentary that you can try and capture within the confines of your own home and/or garden.

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