Ginger Geezer
The Life of Vivian Stanshall
Lucian Randall and Chris Welch

Lucian Randall: dedicated to Gloria and David Randall

Chris Welch dedicates this to Marilyne and Steven

‘He was one of those men in whom nature runs riot; she endows him with not one or two but twenty talents, all of them far beyond the average and then withholds the one ingredient that might have brought them to perfection – a sense of balance and direction’

– Alan Moorehead on Sir Richard Burton, in The White Nile

Table of Contents

Cover Page

Title Page

Dedication

Epigraph

1 Teddy Boys Don’t Knit

2 So the Boys Got Together and Formed a Band…

3 The Dopal Show Will Appear in Person as Themselves

4 ‘Is Mrs Penguin at Home?’

5 Do Not Adjust Your Set

6 I’m Singing Just for You…Covered in Sequins

7 Can Blue Men Sing the Whites?

8 A Festival of Vulgarity

9 The Crackpot at the End of the Rainbow

10 I Don’t Know What I Want – but I Want It Now

11 The Fur-tongued Horror of a Kiss

12 Some Geezer, an Ooly Ginger Geezer

13 Boy in Darkness

14 Calypso to Colapso

15 Crank

16 The Land Where the Hoppity Oats

17 The Clocks are Baring Their Teeth

Discography

Notes

Permissions

Index

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Praise

Copyright

About the Publisher

1 Teddy Boys Don’t Knit
Early years

A journalist once asked Vivian Stanshall to feature in a newspaper article she was writing about a species known as the English eccentric. Sir John Betjeman was to be the senior representative and Vivian the younger example. Was he, she enquired, still ‘doing it’?¹ Stanshall was astonished by the question. He didn’t do, he was simply being himself. On or off stage, he explored his absurdist vision of the world without pretence. Wherever he was, his outfits were equally flamboyant, his improvised routines often intricate and his physical presence captivated whoever was to hand, band mates, audiences or bewildered passers-by on the street. Anyone, as long as he could make a connection. His was not a persona applied for a performance and removed at the end of the evening along with the gold lamé suit, those disturbing ping-pong-ball eyes or the pink rubber ears.

Whether playing the effete, sequinned showman with the Bonzo Dog Band or later reporting from the shadows of the stagnant countryside at Rawlinson End, Vivian’s sharp observations on the inanities of life were as personal as they were funny and they came in an unending stream, he never switched off. In full flow, as he was on ‘The Intro and the Outro’, a favourite Bonzo Dog Band track, he delivered rapid-fire gags, here a seemingly never-ending roll call of increasingly unlikely musicians. ‘And looking very relaxed, Adolf Hitler on vibes.’ The image of the Fuhrer loosening up had an incongruity which was true of Vivian. He never relaxed; constant activity and new ideas bubbled and burst out of him, driving him, and everyone around him, to distraction. The interviewer who suggested this was a studied image was fortunate to have phoned rather than met him at his home. Vivian often made troublesome visitors feel uncomfortable by pausing mid-conversation to pointedly feed his collection of piranhas with freshly killed mice or to hint that one of his larger snakes was loose on the premises.

The journalist might have done better not to hunt for hidden tricks or mirrors and instead simply looked a little deeper into how one person could be inventive in so many fields. Or asked how that person could simultaneously be the upper-class squire and a ripe Cockney geezer and how it was that the murkier fringes of English normality came to be unflinchingly illuminated by an artist whose own character was formed in a part of traditional England. It was in a Great British seaside resort that Vivian spent most of his childhood.

Southend-on-Sea is a cheeky, presumptuous sort of place. For a start, it is some thirty-five miles to the east of London, rather than south. It is situated on the Thames Estuary; not quite the sea. It does have a famous funfair called the Kursaal and a mile-and-a-quarter pier, the world’s longest. Gaily festooning the seafront are the famous illuminations, signalling Southend’s status as an alternative to the drab, city streets of the capital. It certainly performed this function for many deprived London families in the 1950s. After a slow and tedious journey by steam train, thousands of eager holiday-makers spilled out of the station and headed for the front in search of dodgem cars, slot machines, deckchairs, hot dogs, jellied eels, cockles, tea and a game of bingo. The highlight was a trip on the pier railway or a heart-stopping ride on the water chute at the Kursaal.

London kids thought of ‘Sarfend’ as a sort of paradise, a Never Never Land where time stood still and everyone lived on a diet of sweets, candy and hot doughnuts. It was difficult to imagine anyone actually living and working in such a pleasurable environment.

The small but busy town grew into an urban sprawl during the post-war years. In the process it merged with its older neighbours like Leigh-on-Sea. In this cluttered coastal conurbation Vivian Stanshall grew up in the 1950s with his mother, father and younger brother. Leigh-on-Sea isn’t quite the romantic artist’s birthplace that Dublin, Paris or New York are, though actor Steven Berkoff was attracted to the area, featuring the mighty Kursaal amusement park in his early autobiographical play, East, as a place of escape and excitement. For a youngster who lived in the town all year round, it was the soulless ‘Concreton’ alluded to in Vivian’s later tales of Sir Henry Rawlinson. If nothing else, the years there inculcated in Vivian a love of seafood, English seaside resorts and Cockney slang, habits and tastes.

Leigh-on-Sea was actually the remnants of an old fishing and smuggling village, which was well established when upstart Southend was still a hamlet. It was a place where you could still find cockle boats and sheds, sailors’ inns and clapboard cottages, and where you might spot a lively red-haired child with a penchant for painting and drawing. He grew into a noisy tearaway teenager with a fondness for practical jokes. Throughout his childhood, Vivian later claimed, he was ‘hopelessly, innocently burdened with the ineluctable conviction that I was destined to be an artist and I really couldn’t help that’.² His early interest in art came from his mother’s side of the family. His great-great-grandfather was what was then called a black-and-white artist. Much as the inescapable portrait painters crowd popular attractions like London’s Leicester Square today, he would wander the streets drawing quick sketches or portraits. Eileen Stanshall, Vivian’s mother, was dragged into art shops and plagued by her young son’s requests for art materials and paintings.

Mrs Stanshall was born Eileen Monica Prudence Wadeson in Kilburn, London, on 5 February 1911, and lived at 65 Salisbury Road in nearby Willesden Green. Her father was John Thomas Wadeson: ‘In my father’s family every boy child was called John Thomas or Thomas John, which was a tradition which went back many years. There were no fancy names in those days!’ she says. He was a fireman who served in the Royal Navy during World War One, following which he drove an ambulance during the great influenza epidemic that ravaged Europe in 1919. ‘Everybody was down with the ‘flu and dying of it,’ recalls Eileen. ‘They asked for volunteers to man the ambulances. I was about eight years old, and at school, and you’d see the ambulances passing all day long.’

The family were accommodated in a fireman’s house which seemed a place of comfort and security amid the crisis. Eileen recalls children and adults falling victim to the killer epidemic in every street in the neighbourhood, though her family was unscathed. She was the fourth child of Mary Beatrice (neé Douch), who had left a convent to be a nurse, just about the only work a girl could get in those days: ‘My mother and all the children were Catholics and Dad wasn’t. But if there were any dances on, he’d go with her to the church hall.’

Eileen went to school in Willesden Green and later went to work for the Address-O-Graph company, which made customized metal address plates for small businesses. She quickly grew tired of the endless clanking noise of the machinery. Aged eighteen she went for a job at a Catholic church furnishers called Burns, Oates and Washbourne, in the City, where she did office work. She remained single until her late twenties, when she went on a trip to a holiday camp at Caistor, near Great Yarmouth. Such holidays were very popular with young people as an alternative to staying in a staid old hotel; indeed, after World War One, the camps were built especially for teenage holiday-makers. The young man whose heart Eileen caught was born Vivian George Stanshall in 1911. By the time his future wife met him, he had a different name.

‘His mother liked “Vivian”,’ explains Eileen. ‘She had been reading a novel and the hero’s name was Vivian, so that’s what she called her baby. When he got older he thought it sounded sissy, so he wouldn’t tell anybody his real name.’ Vivian changed his name by deed poll to Victor and was known as Vic.

Vic chanced upon Eileen at one of the many dances at the camp and was immediately smitten. ‘I had bright ginger hair and I was always dancing,’ says Eileen. ‘I passed him as I went into the dance hall and he was by the doorway. I didn’t even look at him. When I sat down he came over for a dance. I wondered why he wanted me, because my friend Rose was a beautiful girl. But he never left me alone that whole evening. We had one dance after another. From then on until the day he died he never took his eyes off me.’ Vic was good-looking, six-foot-two and, although he wasn’t a Catholic like Eileen, he had a commanding manner that immediately impressed his sweetheart. He was very sporty and fit, with a twenty-inch neck and huge biceps. His passion was playing football and he had faultless manners. ‘He had a very nice voice. His mother made sure that all her family spoke nicely, because the old man didn’t. I could quite see her point of view. But Vic could mix with anybody and he was very well liked. Some men will put it on, but I noticed he always spoke in exactly the same way as the men he was dealing with.’

The relationship blossomed and Vic took his girlfriend to meet the family. His father, Thomas Henry Stanshall, was a music dealer who sold sheet music and 78s in a Walthamstow shop. The Stanshall name goes back to the Crusades, and has a number of meanings: a stone hall, a wall of stones or, going back to Saxon times, St Ann’s Hall. The Stanshalls are now a rare breed. Vic himself never looked into the history of the name, but his two sons – Vivian and Mark – took up the challenge and were bombarded with letters from Americans writing to say their name was Sandhill. They all wanted to know if they could be any relation and Vivian told his brother, ‘You answer those in case they want to breed with us.’

Vic had two sisters and was spoiled as the youngest and the only boy in the family, growing up to be the traditional sort of man who expected his tea ready for him when he got home from work. His mother was ‘a tall thin woman’, remembers Eileen, ‘who looked as though she needed a good meal.’ Vic’s dad made a less favourable impression on the girl: ‘Vic’s father was in the army and he was very strict. There was no love in that family, somehow.’ Vic emulated his father in being unemotional: he was happiest out with the lads and messing about with cars. ‘There are pictures of him with a souped-up Austin 7,’ says Mark Stanshall, ‘and he had a rather nice three-wheeler Morgan with pipes coming out of the side.’

Eileen and Vic were married, after a five-year courtship, at the Church of the Sacred Heart of Jesus in Kilburn on 19 June 1937. Vic was twenty-seven and his bride a year younger. The groom’s family were then living in Walthamstow, on the north-east outskirts of London. The newlyweds set up their home nearby; by this time Vic was a financial secretary, working his way up to become an office manager.

On the outbreak of war in September 1939, Vic Stanshall joined the RAF. He was too old to be a flyer and went into administration, where he rose to the rank of lieutenant. ‘He was having a lovely war because he was teaching the guys self-defence and playing football,’ says Mark Stanshall. ‘When they found he had some sort of brain, they put him into ciphers and he worked on decoding. God knows what he actually did. He wasn’t at Bletchley Park, but it was something similar.’ The family moved from London to avoid the Blitz and their first child was born in Shillingford, Oxford, on 21 March 1943.

The birth was a difficult one. Eileen was in labour for seventy-two hours and, as she told her son years later, ‘You nearly killed me, now that’s enough of that! [The nurse] brought me three babies, two with tiny little heads and you with a great big whopping head and ginger hair. I said, “Ooh, no, I’ll have one of those little ones.” She said, “I’m afraid you’re stuck with it.”’³

They named the boy Victor Anthony Stanshall, Victor being the ‘manly’ name his father had wanted himself. Eileen always used the boy’s second name, Anthony. When the child himself learned to speak, he found it difficult to say ‘Anthony’, which came out as ‘Narnie’. The pet name stuck, at least until Anthony was old enough to reject both his parents’ choices in favour of his father’s original name, Vivian. His older friends called him ‘Vic’ throughout his life, as did his first wife and his own son. His second wife, and the daughter he had with her, both called him Vivian. The one name by which he disliked being addressed was ‘Viv’, and he corrected people if they tried it. But to fans of the Bonzo Dog Band, he was always Vivian. It was not an act of rebellion to take his father’s rejected name, says Mark Stanshall, ‘it was affectation. He didn’t have another Vivian in mind. It just sounded good.’

It was not until September 1948 that the Stanshalls had another child, Mark. Perhaps because of the five-year age gap, the boys ‘didn’t mix and they were never really friendly’, in Eileen’s words. Mark Stanshall agrees. ‘There was always that jealousy thing. He was the first born and he and Ma had a fairly idyllic life during the war when they were living down in Shillingford.’ They lived in a bungalow in the beautiful Oxfordshire countryside.

‘The first two years of my childhood were wonderful,’ Vivian recalled. ‘Just me and Mum and me and my voices, evacuated from the East End.’⁴ He remembered how the local cows would wander into the kitchen and his mum, broom in hand, would shoo them out. At the bottom of the long garden were the upper reaches of the River Thames. Paddleboats sailed past, filled with soldiers on leave, taking their girlfriends on bitter-sweet farewell cruises. Young people called to each other across the river.

The London Blitz was past its peak, but the country still faced danger from the Luftwaffe and Hitler’s V1 and V2 revenge weapons. Shillingford did not escape the bombs, because it was between two air-force bases which were under fire, particularly at night. Young Anthony’s Oxfordshire adventure ceased when the war ended. It was a mixed blessing to have Dad back. Anthony later said that he could remember almost nothing from the age of three until he went to art school, perhaps an attempt to block out parental criticism. Ominously, his father came back with ideas. He decided he was officer class. This attitude manifested itself in his belief that it was important to speak ‘correctly’ in order to get on in life, a trait Eileen had first noticed in Vic’s mother. In turn, Anthony’s dad instilled the same into his family.

‘He was fearfully middle-middle-class,’ says Mark Stanshall. ‘We all spoke with this awfully posh accent.’ Commendable, perhaps, but totally out of place when the family moved away from the tranquillity of Oxford and back to the urban sprawl of London’s Walthamstow. For the rest of his life, Anthony would remember the incongruity of learning received pronunciation. ‘I didn’t even know any upper- or middle-class kids, but I was saddled with a posh accent that was totally unjustified by my background. I didn’t really know which side I was on.’⁵ If he was reticent in applying himself, he had the voice ‘thrashed’ into him by his father.⁶ Vivian began to split his persona between the tough talker of the streets and the polite conversationalist at home.

For all that, Walthamstow was not too bad. They had a corner house at 173 Grove Road. ‘We used to grow sunflowers out in the back garden and keep tortoises,’ says Mark Stanshall. In 1953, the family settled in Westcliffe, between Southend and Leigh-on-Sea. For a time they had a flat above a shoe shop in Westcliffe’s broad shopping street, at that time the smartest area of the town. They moved into a house in Beech Avenue seven years later. Anthony became more streetwise in Southend, still veering at will between the tough talk of the local lads and the Home Service, BBC tones his father required. Immediately after the war, Vic’s ambition was to become a chartered accountant. Eileen recalls that he worked near Fleet Street for a finance company involved in the South African diamond trade. As with so much else, he was never forthcoming to his family about his work.

‘No one knew what he did exactly but it was something to do with unit trusts,’ says Mark. He was not as grand a figure in the City as he made out, never inviting Eileen up to London to meet his partners. Ex-officer Stanshall (now balding, like all the male Stanshalls) was always smartly dressed when he went to work. He took plastic Paca-Macs for added protection, which Mark remembers ‘we always thought were ridiculous’.

Anthony was both impressed and intimidated by the spectacle. ‘He polished his shoes so shiny that when you looked down you could see all the way up to his suspenders – or up skirts, if you fancied it. And then he covered his shoes with protective rubber galoshes and with bowler hat rammed tight and brolly grasped, he would every morning roller-skate from Walthamstow to the City.’⁷ A wonderful image, this Stanshallian flight of fancy has roots in reality, as his mother confirms: ‘A lot of people did roller-skate during the bus strikes. He might have tried it once or twice. I remember there used to be loads of strikes even when I worked in London and I used to thumb a lift to the office. It was quite fun. Everybody was doing it.’ Mr Stanshall, however was unaware of any humorous aspect to the ritual of work. Like many of his generation, he was not adept at handling emotions of any kind. Anthony was ‘downright terrified’ of his father and would continue to be so, even after the man’s death almost forty years later. The boy keenly felt the lack of any conspicuous display of affection. Eileen is quite sure that his father loved him. ‘A lot of men are like that. They love the babies,’ she said, ‘but when they get to be boys and they see the wives giving all their time to them, they get a bit jealous. There’s no denying; they just do. And then they lose interest in the children.’⁸ Mark was more accepting of his father. ‘I didn’t have a conversation with him myself,’ he says, ‘but I suppose he was good because he always put the food on the table for us.’ He shared one of his father’s few interests, football. With father a season ticket holder at Arsenal, six-year-old Mark would be taken along to see the side play.

It was only years afterwards that Anthony began to understand his father a little better: ‘He’s quite remarkable in his respect for authority, which was good for me because I think that is lacking now. He is upright and righteous and has an inflexibility of behaviour which borders on the old Catholic Church…[and] a set of values with which, for the most part, I completely disagree, but it is something I can measure myself against and I think that it is a sad thing that most children don’t have that sort of rigidity.’⁹ Decency, though, meant little without affection, and the boy felt that everything he did was a disappointment to his father. Vic wanted his son to be a footballer, but Anthony showed no interest in the game. He relished other sporting challenges. Every year there was a seven-mile swim from the pier at Southend to the cockle sheds of Leigh-on-Sea. Sixty hopefuls set out to brave the waters and Anthony was among the dozen or so swimmers who finished. Two-thirds were knocked out by a severe underwater current. He was also rather fond of throwing the javelin, and would go on to have a lifelong interest in sharp, pointy weaponry, often to the alarm of his friends and colleagues.

Anthony’s relationship with his mother was uncomplicated. Eileen adored him, providing support whenever he faced a crisis in his life: ‘Mark was much more independent,’ says Eileen, ‘but Anthony had to have his mother on the end of the phone.’ As a child, Anthony was, he admitted himself, ‘freakishly precocious’, speaking from the age of five months. In a sweet shop Eileen explained to the owner that her son always took a long time to choose what to have. ‘I doesn’t,’ Anthony piped up. The man looked at mother and child and said, ‘How old did you say he was?’ By the age of ten months, Anthony later claimed, he was able to hold a conversation. Such was his energy, baby Anthony was strapped into his pram, and such was his loathing of doing nothing that the very smell and feel of the leatherette pram would stay with him for the rest of his life. He hated restraint: ‘We had a dining room and a lounge at Walthamstow and he’d get out of his playpen and walk into the hall, round to the kitchen then back in again,’ adds Eileen. ‘He just wanted me to see he could do it.’

On holiday in Hastings as a toddler, he caught the attention of a seafront clairvoyant, who told his mother that the child would either be an actor or an admiral. Eileen asked the psychic how on earth she could tell. ‘I got the vibes,’ she was informed. ‘Anthony would later joke that the response was, ‘Your pram is sinking and he’s saluting as it goes down.’¹⁰ Wherever these mystical portents came from, they identified part of his career with a fair degree of accuracy. As for the nautical part, he joined the Merchant Navy and later both owned a houseboat and settled on a converted ship.

Like most children, Anthony was first and foremost a rascal, and Eileen regularly fended off irate neighbours complaining that the boy was running wild in their gardens. ‘He was always up to something and always thinking about something,’ laughs Eileen. There was much opportunity for messing around on the seafront. ‘I used to kick sandcastles over when I was a kid. Horrible boy,’ he later said. ‘On the other hand, I suppose that’s the closest most people are going to come to sculpture in their lives. Apart from their haircuts.’¹¹

Anthony was also creative, with a passion for music. Anthony just had music in him,’ says his mother. ‘He was always playing something and my father was like that. I had two brothers who were musical and just like Anthony they could pick up an instrument and get a tune out of it. My brother Tom could play the violin. My mother used to encourage music in the family and my father played an instrument as well.’ Mischief and music coincided in young Anthony. The front room at Beech Avenue, a spacious, semi-detached house, was separated from the street by a forecourt and a hedge. The boy sat in the front room with the biggest trombone he could find. He lay in wait for passers-by and walloped them with the trombone’s slide.

Art was another burgeoning talent in Anthony, one for which he had a much stronger instinct. One reason the family made their move from London to Southend was to enable Anthony to attend the local art school. He was always keen on art: at the age of two he was ‘mixing boxes of paint trying to make blue sky’, says his mother. ‘He could draw anything you asked him, even when he was little. He’d drag me into art shops and I’d buy him artists’ materials.’ Eileen encouraged her son’s self-expression through his interests while agreeing with her husband on matters of family discipline. ‘Anthony was well brought up and did as he was told. He had to. My mother brought us up rather strictly and if she said, “Go out and get me something” you went. There were no arguments. Nowadays you see kids of seven arguing with their parents. My mother wouldn’t put up with that.’ Eileen ensured the boys were brought up as Catholics, just as she had been. Between primary school and Southend High School, Anthony attended convent school, ‘being taught a lot of perverted, one-sided rubbish by nuns who were otherwise quite OK, and I got by as the clever boy who built match-book galleons they could display on open days’.¹²

In church, Anthony could barely contain himself at Communion as the other church-goers, eyes closed and tongues hanging out, waited to receive the Host. The bishop, a firebrand Irishman, caught him giggling and sent him back to his pew with a slap round the face. He lost interest once Mass was translated into English. ‘I didn’t understand it any more. Really, I didn’t,’ he said. ‘It had no cadences, there was no longer any chime in me. It had been demystified to a point where it had been made base and ordinary – and, certainly, spiritual life is not ordinary.’

His mother, with ‘quite a deal of perspicacity’, thought he should have been a priest. Later he said himself that artists and priests were similar, ‘because – this is going to sound awfully pompous and silly – you are communicating to share a spiritual enjoyment of life…I mean priests in an ideal sense, what I understand is a shamanic priest, a guru, a spiritual leader, not necessarily someone who dishes out three Hail Marys and ten how’s-your-fathers.’¹³ His son Rupert says that he even flirted with the idea of converting to Judaism. Faith was always important to him, despite his reputation for irreverence. ‘He had a picture of Christ on the wall,’ says Rupert. ‘It was conditioning from when he was a kid. Somewhere in him there was some respect for religion, without question.’

Anthony passed the 11-plus examination and attended Southend High School. He became friends with a boy named Pete Wiltshire, who impressed him through knowing how long it took to dissolve mice in nitric, hydrochloric and sulphuric acids: ‘Of course, I warmed to him.’ Pete also met with Eileen’s approval. Like her son, Pete was tall and both boys felt uncomfortable with the old-fashioned short trousers. The school strictly enforced a uniform of grey trousers, black shoes, white shirt, a house tie and green blazer. Pete’s dislike of the uniform was shared by Anthony, who came in one morning wearing black-and-white check trousers, black-and-white shoes, a white coat and a bow tie. He was sent home. The school did not have him down as a real troublemaker; he was simply an intelligent, rather cherubic boy who did not fit in, and there was no room for individualism in the classroom.

‘Even when I was at school I never looked normal,’ he recalled. ‘To avoid being beaten up I would have to devise gags and strokes and pranks, or behave in an outlandish manner, in order to be taken under the aegis of bullies. Perhaps I was therefore purchasing by my behaviour self-protection, so I suppose after a while that becomes natural.’¹⁴ There was not the flexibility in teaching to cope with him. As one of his teachers said, ‘We didn’t have many eccentrics at school. The system wouldn’t allow it.’¹⁵ The boy thought of the system as constraining, reductive and empty. It produced ‘Normals’, he later explained to Melody Maker. ‘Normals are all about you. They leave signs on the streets that give you clues. They are just people entirely formed by their environment. They are not necessarily middle-aged, middle-classed people. It’s the clothes they choose to wear and the way they choose to speak. They imagine they are ordinary, yet they are really dreadful freaks – terrifying. They are people bound by convention, “Normal” is a paradoxical term.’

The poor relationship with the school brought out the prankster in Anthony. ‘He was always in trouble,’ says Mark. ‘He was the one who always had a mouse in his pocket or organized some form of anarchy.’ Eileen went to the school in the end and convinced them to let him go to the art college instead. Anthony remembers he was just about to be expelled when she intervened. The constraints of the education system were too much for the inventive youngster. It left him with a ‘hatred of the system which did its best to put me off Shakespeare and any poetry, painting…stuffed down my throat things that were obviously unsuitable and made things that were exciting to me unpalatable by making reverent, dead things out of them’.¹⁶ Vic Stanshall went along with his wife’s plans for Anthony to attend the art college. For all his insistence on speaking properly and behaving well, he did not have that much influence. ‘Oh, Vic did as I’d tell him,’ laughs Eileen. ‘He wasn’t daft, though. If he thought something wasn’t right, he wouldn’t have done it. I knew as soon as Anthony was born that he was going to be different. I didn’t want him to have a job he wouldn’t like or enjoy. If he didn’t get his own way, people would dislike him, because I knew he’d play them up.’

Both Stanshall boys indulged a lifelong passion for accumulating rubbish and junk from sales. ‘I collected glass and bits of silver and pictures,’ says Mark. ‘We were always bringing stuff back home.’ By the age of fourteen, Anthony was amassing a collection of 78 r.p.m. records. He had bought a gramophone with the old-fashioned horn amplifier for 17s/6d on which he played a selection of numbers which formed the basis for the Bonzos’ act. ‘I remember he bought a record by the Alberts called “Sleepy Valley”, which was played on the Phono-fiddle,’ recalls Mark. Bonzo member Neil Innes also nurtured an affection for this ghastly instrument: ‘The solitary string was raised by something that resembled a violin bridge and only vigorous pressure from a violin bow could entice sounds that ranged from a low, thin, melancholic wail to an utterly unattractive high-pitched shriek.’¹⁷ Needless to say, young Anthony loved it.

During the school holidays, Anthony was a part-time bingo caller in Southend, where he learned all the patter. The focus for carefree childhood memories was the beloved Kursaal funhouse. It had, he later said, an ‘antique fin de siècle charm about it, with a grey-and-pig’s-kidney-coloured colonnade. Then there’s quite a lofty dome atop that, with a kind of mosque-ish top. A pleasure dome.’¹⁸ He started his fairground career collecting pennies from the slot machines. Inside the building he worked on the dodgems and eventually got to guard the celebrated water chute. It was an absorbing, year-round occupation. Out of season, Stanshall helped to maintain the attractions, painting the carousel horses and the ghost train.

Southend-on-Sea was an adventure playground outside work and school hours. It was where a youngster could roam the streets as a teddy boy. In the mid-1950s, British boys and girls thrilled to the new sounds from the States, together with the paraphernalia of being a teenager: B-movies, horror comics, pop records and trendy fashions. Where once they had jived to Ted Heath and his Orchestra, they now learned to rock’n’roll to Bill Haley and the Comets, Elvis Presley, Gene Vincent and Little Richard. Aged just eleven when rock’n’roll first broke, Anthony was too young to be in with the gangs. He bought his first pop records instead: ‘Rock with the Caveman’ by Tommy Steele and ‘Giannina Mia’ by Gracie Fields.

English kids adopted the clothes, slang and violent habits of teddy boys, taking their name from the Edwardian styles that became fashionable at the start of the decade: drape jackets with velvet collars and thick-soled shoes nick-named brothel creepers. On the back cover of Stanshall’s 1981 album Teddy Boys Don’t Knit, there is a black-and-white snapshot of him as a youngster, sitting sprawled with his mates on a bench in the street. They loaf in the maliciously indolent way that only teenage boys can, under a Southend police noticeboard. A ‘Keep Britain Tidy’ poster depicts a huge finger pointing directly at Stanshall’s head. Clad in blue suede shoes and drainpipe jeans and sporting a Tony Curtis hairstyle, he sits and grins, sporting the kind of expression that members of the officer class might have interpreted as dumb insolence.

Being a ted ‘meant wearing second-hand clothes with collarless shirts and corduroy suits’, remembers Mark Stanshall. ‘Vivian always took it to the max and wore a complete frock coat and top hat. He always loved to be looked at and liked to be the centre of attention.’ Twenty of them on motorbikes would tear around, waking up the neighbourhood. ‘My father, being ultra-conservative, couldn’t cope with a son who was always wandering about looking like a Victorian doctor with all these musical instruments piling up.’

The teds were the toughest of all working-class lads, notorious for gang fights with bicycle chains, particularly at such south London flashpoints as the Elephant and Castle. The craze spread all over the country and was established in Southend just as a teenaged Stanshall headed for the streets in search of freedom. There he found a gang culture that appealed to a growing love of ritual, folklore and strange languages. There would be battles on the pier that was supposedly the preserve of pleasure-seeking families, between the Leigh gang, the Benfleet boys and the Southend mob. By the time he was sixteen, Anthony ran with the local Leigh boys. Inconveniently for his street cred, Eileen had taught him to crochet as a young child. This was anathema to his fellow-gang members, as he attested in the aforementioned album title, Teddy Boys Don’t Knit. His posh accent surfaced occasionally, but this meant he was tolerated as an ‘amusing mascot’ by the gang. A rival team of interlopers might come down from Dagenham and from the pier entrance right up to the High Street there would be a reception committee.

It was a testosterone-fuelled time for Anthony and he later worked it into his music. ‘When I feel particularly aggressive…I use the most aggressive part of my life which I suppose was the 1950s when I was a teddy boy.’¹⁹ He was arrested with his gang, instilling in him a healthy disrespect for the law – or at least the law as practised in Southend.

‘The police were notorious, and I was falsely accused of assaulting a policeman,’ he later said. ‘I was said to have hit a policeman with such force he had to be picked off the pavement. It was absolute rubbish, but I was found guilty. I had to spend a night in a cell with the light on all the time, and I wasn’t allowed to use the lavatory. It was hateful. I think there should be more education for the police.’²⁰ Back home, he hid the drape jacket and drainpipe trousers behind the coal bunker to become well-behaved Narnie indoors.

Street culture met his artistic influences and laid the foundations for a serious drink problem. According to his second wife, Ki Longfellow: ‘He believed all this shit about what a real artist goes through,’ she says. ‘A real artist drinks red wine and smokes and lives in a garret. A really great artist dies young. So he began drinking when he was thirteen years old, but this was normal, hanging out with the guys he met on the streets.’ He was beginning to find out who he was – and that was different: ‘I didn’t enjoy it,’ he later told an interviewer. ‘It’s just that when I was thirteen and growing my first beard, I just went up to the top of my road in Leigh-on-Sea. I was pointed out by a little boy and his mother said, “Shh…He’s a crank.” So I thought, “That’s it, that’s what I am.” I mean, it’s very handy to know what you are.’²¹

The other important teenage business was love. His first love was a girl named Mary. They met when he was fifteen and he was ‘insanely in love’ with her for many years. She thought he looked like nothing on earth, with his colourful clothes and his newly acquired artist’s beret. He rode to her school on his bone-shaker bicycle, waiting for her near the tennis courts. She too was taught by nuns, who instinctively disapproved of this strange young man and banned her from going out at lunchtime. Waving at Mary from the side of the tennis courts, Stanshall attracted the attention of the PE teacher, who became convinced there was a pervert near the grounds. The teacher strode over and told him to make himself scarce. Mary’s attempts to explain that it was all right because she knew this particular ‘pervert’ fell on deaf ears.

Neither of the two young people had much money and were rarely on their own together. They went for long walks along the seafront by Old Leigh and out on the sands. Mary was invited to the Stanshall house where, to her astonishment, her boyfriend was called Anthony – by now he was Vivian to everyone outside the familial home. The atmosphere chilled when the boy’s father returned, Eileen’s personality changed and the house became quieter. After that, Mary did not visit when Stanshall Senior was at home.

Anthony was now Vivian, much to his mother’s chagrin. He later made the change of name permanent. ‘He did it properly by deed poll,’ says Eileen. ‘He did that because he wanted to be in show business and he thought it sounded better.’ Vivian wanted another name change too: he asked Mary to marry him. Eileen did not approve. She was certain the girl was too young to understand her true feelings. She also knew that she wanted her son to finish art school and so she took Mary into the kitchen one day to tell her that the wedding would not have her blessing or that of her husband.

‘If you love him, you’ll wait,’ she told Mary. They might have waited until Vivian was twenty-two, but it was never to be. This was not because of Eileen: she was adamant that her Narnie would never go behind her back and Vivian was just as certain that he could have done so. It did not come to that. Crushingly, Mary turned him down. Vivian cried for a week and always believed that Mary came to her decision because she lacked faith in him. While he might have been colourful and great fun to be with, underneath it all he thought that in her eyes he would never amount to anything. Yet his career prospects were the last thing on her mind.

‘I just didn’t believe you, that’s the bottom line,’ Mary admitted to Vivian when they met years later. ‘I just didn’t take you seriously, ever, because you used to disappear out of my life and then suddenly turn up again.’²² The relationship ended, but the couple would never forget the vivid memories of their first love. Vivian was even more determined to get his degree.

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