Transform

Your Life

10 steps to real results

Carole Gaskell

Copyright

Thorsons

An Imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

Published by Thorsons 2000

Thorsons are trademarks of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd

© Carole Gaskell 2000

Carole Gaskell asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

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Source ISBN: 9780007326426

Ebook Edition © FEBRUARY 2016 ISBN: 9780007485468

Version: 2015-12-31

To my Dad who taught me that anything is possible if you set your mind to it; to my Mum who taught me to open my heart and trust my intuition; and to my sisters, Helen, Fiona and Jilly, who have helped me to understand the power of synergy, wherever we are in our lives and in the world.

Also to my friends, clients and colleagues who enrich my life and remind me there’s something new we can learn every day. Here’s to enjoying the journey of life step by step, moment by moment – now.

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential, these are the keys to unlock the door to personal excellence.

Eddie Robinson

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Epigraph

Introduction

Your New Life Starts Now!

The 10-Step Process

Part 1: Preparing Your Launch Pad

Step 1: See The Bigger Picture

Step 2: Build The Right Foundations

Step 3: Spring Clean Your Life

Step 4: Value Your True Essence

Step 5: Focus On What Really Matters

Part 2: Real Results

Step 6: Clarify Your Vision And Goals

Step 7: Make Time Work For You

Step 8: Shape Up Your Finances

Step 9: Attract The Relationships You Want

Step 10: Get Into The Flow

Further Reading

Further Information

Keep Reading

Acknowledgements

About The Author

About The Publisher

Introduction

It only takes one person to change your life – you.

Ryth Casey

Your New Life Starts Now!

Are you itching to do something new? Do you have a dream you’d like to fulfil? Are you setting up or growing a business or looking for career success? Do you want more balance in your life? Do you need to create more space to think about life decisions? Do you feel restless or does something not feel quite right – but you’re not sure what? Are you looking for a greater sense of purpose?

Each one of us can transform our life in a split second by doing something differently, taking action or thinking in a new way. Buying this book means you’ve made the perfect start, so let’s get going – your new life starts now!

Your Own Lifecoach

I am a lifecoach – that means I act as a catalyst, partnering people as they transform their lives. I help people to bring out their personal best, to clarify where they are now, where they want to be and how to get there. As you read this book I will be your lifecoach and guide you through a tried and tested 10-step process to help you achieve real results. Whether you’re looking for more time, more balance, less stress, greater self-confidence, better relationships, financial security, career and business success or a more fulfilling life, I’ll encourage you to transform your life – on your terms.

You’re the expert on your life and like an effective coach I’ll be asking you great questions, challenging you and helping you to uncover your own wisdom. In this book you can explore your own thoughts, see yourself as you really are and draw up plans, monitor your progress and create the life you really want.

There are times when life can be a stimulating and invigorating experience and others when it can feel stagnant, even difficult. Sometimes it’s easy to settle for an okay job, a mediocre relationship or a semi-convenient lifestyle. We’re all so busy, it’s often easier to accept second best, to run few risks and achieve few real successes. As Henry Thoreau said, ‘The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation’. This is not what I want for you. I want you to feel inspired by your life and excited about your future.

As we work together, I’ll encourage you to open your mind to see yourself and your life in a new way. The more you transform yourself on the inside, the more benefits you’ll see on the outside. As you become more aware of how you learn and behave, you’ll find it easier to coach yourself! Lifecoaching is an action-orientated process and although it can often enhance your self-understanding, it’s not a substitute for counselling. Coaches don’t tend to work on ‘issues’ or focus on the past but rather on where you are now and the future you want to create for yourself. To a certain degree lifecoaching is very much based on common sense. Its tools and techniques do work – I see evidence of it almost every day.

Take a look at the following quiz and see how coaching can help you to transform your life.

You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die, or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now.

Joan Baez

Quick Transformation Quiz

Answer the questions below by ticking the appropriate box and calculating your score as follows: 2 points = Yes/Agree/Not Applicable, 1 point = Agree sometimes, 0 point = No/Disagree

If you scored 0–20 points

You’re confident with some areas of your life, but could drastically improve in others. You stand to achieve the maximum benefit from lifecoaching in both your personal and your professional life. This book will help you to make the changes you want to transform your life, strengthen your support framework, establish your strengths and values, clarify your personal vision and tap into your true potential.

If you scored 21–30 points

Well done! Life is presumably pretty good for you. However, you probably suffer from the occasional stumbling block and suspect that you could achieve much more, both personally and professionally. This book will support you in clearing your way towards being more effective and achieving a balanced integration of your home and work life. Don’t wait too long – you’re almost there!

If you scored 31–40 points

Congratulations! You’re obviously close to reaching your full potential. You probably know what your vision and goals are and have a plan for achieving them. This book may inspire you to achieve the last 10 or 20 per cent. This could be just the kick-start you need to go the final distance.

Initial Score Score on Completion of Step 1

Final Score on Completion of Book

My Own Experience

People often ask me how I got involved in coaching and what qualifies me to be a coach. The answer is simple – lifecoaching is something I ‘evolved’ into over many years. I’ve been interested in people and what makes them tick for as long as I can remember. I enjoyed a successful career in marketing, learning to understand people’s needs and identifying new business opportunities. Business and personal development became a passion for me. In my spare time I attended many courses, devoured development books and studied counselling and various complementary therapies. I was extremely fortunate to work in the entertainment industry, where I met many successful people who had followed their hearts and had created very successful lives for themselves. They inspired me and I learned much from them.

However, as my career developed, my personal life started to suffer. I never had enough time to do the things I wanted to. I worked in London for many years and spent over three hours a day commuting. I was involved in floating a company on the stock exchange and I worked long hours and sacrificed my health and relationships in the process. Increasingly I started to think, ‘There has to be more to life than this.’

It was whilst working for a short period in the US that I first came across lifecoaching. An extremely successful advertising executive in New York told me how he’d been disillusioned, overworked, stressed out and ‘empty’ until his life had been transformed by working with a coach. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized how much I’d lost sight of the important things in my own life.

Back in the UK, I began to work with a coach of my own and our sessions helped me to bring my life back into balance. I started to make my own well-being my number one priority and reconnect with what mattered most to me. It took a lot of work to gain a clear understanding of who I am and what I want in life – and I’m still learning. But my life was touched so deeply by coaching that I eventually decided to become a lifecoach myself. I studied with the world’s leading coach-training organization, CoachU, and was extremely lucky to be mentored by some of the best lifecoaches. Now I don’t live a perfect life, but I am aware of what that would be for me and am moving closer and closer towards it. I’m aware every day that the life I live is my own choice. The more choices I make, the freer I become and ultimately the more fulfilled I am. That’s what I want for myself – and that’s what I want for you, too.

Transforming your life can take as long as you want. If you have specific objectives you’d like to achieve quickly, let’s rise to the challenge! Equally, if you see transformation as a lifelong process, there’s no reason why you can’t enjoy the steps along the path. It’s your life, so design it the way you want it to be! Acknowledge your dreams, take some simple steps to start yourself off and then keep going! As the saying goes, even a journey of 1,000 miles begins with one step. Here’s to transforming your life! Enjoy it!

Carole Gaskell

The 10-Step Process

For easy reference the 10-step process is in two parts:

Part 1: Preparing your Launch Pad, Steps 1–5, focuses on helping you to build firm foundations from which you can lift off and transform your life. You’ll be looking at who you are, who you want to be and what’s important to you.

Part 2: Real Results, Steps 6–10, will take you through an effective action plan, enabling you to achieve the real results you want in your life.

Part 1: Preparing your Launch Pad

Step 1: See the Bigger Picture will set you up for success by helping you to see your life from a new perspective, encouraging you to develop invaluable qualities to take your life to the next level and reminding you of the importance of picturing the results you want at the beginning.

Step 2: Build the Right Foundations will ensure you establish a strong power base from which to launch the next phase of your life. You’ll be inspired to take good care of yourself, create an inspiring environment and develop a powerful framework of support around you.

Step 3: Spring Clean your Life will empower you to de-sludge and de-clutter, streamlining your life so that you gain more energy, space and clarity. You’ll be encouraged to remove any distractions and obstacles likely to block your way ahead.

Step 4: Value your True Essence will get you to focus on your achievements and strengths, delegate your weaknesses and connect with your own special essence.

Step 5: Focus on What Really Matters is the final element of your launch pad. Here you’ll learn how to identify your values, be encouraged to set well-defined boundaries and high personal standards and clarify what is truly important to you.

Part 2: Real Results

Step 6: Clarify your Vision and Goals will encourage you to ‘think big’ as you create your vision, connect with your dreams, clarify your intentions and define your goals.

Step 7: Make Time Work for You will see you starting to plan ahead. You’ll learn how to manage yourself superbly so you achieve more in less time.

Step 8: Shape Up your Finances gets you to look at your money situation, strengthen your financial foundations and establish ways of propel ling yourself forward financially.

Step 9: Attract the Relationships You Want will help you to determine what relationships you want, understand your needs and how to get them met, improve your powers of communication and become more attractive to yourself and others so that you can harness the power of synergy in your life.

Step 10: Get into the Flow inspires you to pull the whole process together and gives you the confidence to live in the land of opportunity. Connecting your powerful foundations with your big vision and your small steps will enable you to take action to bring your plans into reality, create momentum and get into the flow of transforming your life!

There is a huge difference between understanding the theory and putting it into practice. The real value in coaching is the role it plays in empowering you to take action to do what you say you want to do. But once you’ve taken the first few steps you’ll find that you (and your life) will start to gather momentum. It may take time to fully integrate all the elements of transformation, but the more steps you take, the more you’ll find yourself ‘in the flow’ and the sooner you’ll start enjoying the life you really want.

The Format of Each Step

For ease of reference, each step follows the same pattern. Every chapter begins with a brief Overview of the step and a clear indication of the results you’re likely to achieve when you’ve completed it. If you can picture the end result at the beginning, you’ll have a greater chance of bringing it into reality!

Next comes the Personal Reward section where I ask you to write down how you’ll reward yourself when you’ve finished the step. The completion of each step is a significant milestone along your path of transformation and I want you to recognize it as such. Acknowledging your progress to date is a valuable lesson in itself! As you go through a process of change it’s very easy to drive yourself forward, focus on what’s next and overlook what you’ve already achieved. It’s important to give yourself rewards as you go. Treats could include a night out with friends, a massage, a box of chocolates, a long walk, a trip to a health club – you decide. Celebrate the little wins as well as the big ones and enjoy your transformation process.

This is followed by a Quick Transformation Quiz of 20 questions. Note your score as you begin each step and again when you’ve completed it. The maximum score on each quiz is 40 points. My challenge is for you to score a minimum of 32 points on every quiz once you’ve completed the book!

Each step then features Five Sections, each represented by a star. These include a combination of information, quotes, questions and assignments. As you complete each section, colour in your step by step progress tracker.

Then there are Key Insights Gained from the Step, where you can list the five most valuable insights you’ve learned from each step. Doing this will help you to commit these core elements to memory. Just write down key words or even draw a picture to remind yourself of the important points.

As well as insights, in Quick Wins Gained from the Step you can list breakthroughs and changes you’ve already started to make to enhance your life, and in The Action Steps You Now Agree to Take you can list the actions you’re now willing to take to transform your life.

Finally, for each step there are Real Results – some life histories to inspire you!

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

Martin Luther King

Getting the Most out of the 10 Steps

Just by reading, absorbing the information and following the exercises, you’ll begin to actually experience the benefits of lifecoaching. You are the creator of your life, no one else, so the more effort you put into answering the quizzes and questions and taking action on the assignments, the more results you’re likely to achieve. Why not start now? It’s never too early (or too late) to start to transform your life!

Familiarize Yourself with the Process

Before you start going through the steps in detail, you might find it useful to quickly skim over the chapters to familiarize yourself with the process. The steps themselves can be followed in sequence or you may prefer to focus on the sections that appeal to you the most. Go with whatever works best for you. Some people find that following two steps in parallel can work very well. (You may be tempted to skip over the steps in Part 1, but I would strongly advise against this, as you’ll find the insights you gain from Steps 1 to 5 will strengthen you and save you time in the long run.)

Like anything in life, some concepts in the book will work brilliantly for you while others may have little value. We all respond to things in different ways. If you find yourself stuck on a step, making no headway, leave it. Take what works for you and leave the rest. But stay open-minded and give yourself the opportunity to see things afresh. You could be pleasantly surprised by the results!

As life is constantly changing and moving in cycles, you may find you want to revisit a step several times. The process can provide the structure for a regular review that you can return to year after year as you perfect different elements of your life.

Progress at your own Pace

Remember, there’s no rush. Whether the changes you are making are fast or slow, subtle or fundamental, it’s up to you. But even small changes can have a significant impact over the long term!

Make Yourself Accountable to Someone

No man is an island and one of the great benefits of lifecoaching is the synergy between the coach and client. People can often achieve a lot more by pooling their resources and supporting each other – two heads can be better than one. Bearing this in mind, I suggest you get the support of someone – perhaps a friend, family member, work colleague or even a coach – as you work through this book. You’ll derive great benefits from sharing your thoughts and insights with another person.

Any process of change will, at some point, bring you face to face with thoughts or issues that you would perhaps prefer not to look at and your support person may also be able to help you with these ‘growing pains’.

Your helper will act as a constant reminder of who you want to be and what you want to achieve. You need someone who will stand by you through thick and thin, someone you can trust to support you, hold you to your commitments, and keep you on track.

I want to make myself accountable to:

Allow Yourself ‘Quiet Time’ to Think Things Through

When working through the 10 steps, after reading a specific section you might want to stop and ponder for a while. I actively encourage you to do this. Sometimes it’s during the gaps between our thoughts that we gain the real answers to our life’s questions.

To do this, I suggest that you take yourself to a quiet inspirational place in your home. You might want to play your favourite music, sit in your favourite chair, light a candle, look at your favourite view – do whatever is necessary for you to fully access your thoughts. If you prefer, a visit to your local café or park or a drive in your car might spark your imagination and give you the answers you’re looking for. Remember, the answers are inside you, so the more comfortable and ‘at one’ you feel with your environment, the easier you’ll find it to open yourself up, increase your awareness and draw the answers to you.

Keep your insights in a Journal or Notebook

As you work through this programme you’ll probably want to make notes or jot down your answers to some of the questions. You’ll find it useful to keep all your thoughts, insights and action plans together in a journal or notebook – so why not treat yourself to one now, before you begin?

Here’s to the first day of the rest of your life!

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain

Step by Step Progress Tracker

As you work through the steps track your progress by colouring in each star section as you complete it.

Part One: Preparing your Launch Pad

Part Two: Real Results

Preparing Your Launch Pad

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