# Crying for Help: The Shocking True Story of a Damaged Girl with a Dark Past

Casey Watson

The second book from Sunday Times bestselling author Casey Watson.Two weeks after saying farewell to her first foster child, Casey is asked to look after Sophia, a troubled 12-year-old with a sad past. Sophia’s actions are disturbing and provocative and, before long, Casey and her family find themselves in a dark and dangerous situation.Two years ago Sophia’s mother had a terrible accident. Sophia has been in care ever since.Right away, Casey feels something isn’t right. Sophia’s a well-developed girl, who looks more like 18 than 12. She only seems to have eyes and ears for men, and treats all women with contempt and disgust. And she has everyone around her jumping through hoops.Over time, as more details begin to emerge about Sophia’s past, it becomes clear that her behaviour is a front for an early life filled with pain and suffering. But although Casey feels she is gradually breaking through to Sophia and getting her to open up about things she has never spoken about before, her violence is threatening the safety of the whole family, forcing Casey to question whether she can really handle this lost and damaged girl.Both shocking and inspiring, this true story will shed new light on the extreme and sometimes dangerous nature of foster care.Includes a sample chapter of Little Prisoners.

Sunday Times Bestselling Author

### Casey Watson. Crying For Help


## Dedication

To my wonderful and supportive family

## Contents

Title Page

Dedication

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Epilogue

Exclusive sample chapter

Chapter 1

Casey Watson

Acknowledgements

Copyright

About the Publisher

## Prologue

8.15am, Wednesday 15 October

Transcript of a call to emergency services, [location given] Response Centre

999 OPERATOR – ‘Police emergency. Can I help you?’

YOUNG GIRL – ‘It’s my mum. I think she’s dead.’

OPERATOR – ‘Can I have your name and address, lovey?’

YOUNG GIRL – ‘Yes, I’m Sophia, I live at [address given].’

OPERATOR – ‘Okay, sweetheart. That’s great. Now, how old are you?’

SOPHIA – ‘I’m almost eleven.’

OPERATOR – ‘Thank you, Sophia. Now, listen – there are some police officers on their way to your house now, so you just stay on the phone talking to me until they get to you, okay? Then you must let them come in. Okay, lovey? You understand that?’

SOPHIA – ‘Yes, okay. But she’s dead. I think she must be. [Pauses.] She’s fallen down the stairs, I think, and there’s blood. She’s very cold.’

OPERATOR – ‘Okay sweetheart. I understand. You just keep talking to me, okay? Stay on the phone. The officers will be there in just a minute or two, all right? Is there anybody else with you?’

SOPHIA – ‘Yes, there is. My friend, Caitlyn. We had a sleepover. I don’t know what to do. Oh, hang on, Caitlyn’s gone to the door. I think it’s the police. Yes, they’re here.’

OPERATOR – ‘They’re there? All right sweetheart, I’ll let you go and speak to them, you’ve done really well. Could you put one of them on the line for me so I can–’

[PHONE DISCONNECTS]

## Chapter 1

Sometimes, I think it pays to trust your instincts. My own, like many women’s, are sound in most respects, particularly that little voice that you hear from time to time which tells you something’s not quite right; something isn’t as it seems. You know, that hairs-on-the-back-of-the-neck prickle you sometimes get?

I had that, right away, when John Fulshaw got in touch. It was early January, and one of those really gloomy days, freezing cold, when, even though it was already two in the afternoon, it felt as if it had never really got light. I’d been standing by the window, looking out into the street, and thinking how dreary everybody looked as they plodded by. All dressed in black or grey or brown, hunched over, looking at the ground, collars up, shielding their necks and hands and faces from the bitter winter cold. I loved December, but I really hated January.

‘What’s up, Mum?’ said my grown-up son, Kieron, who was with me, along with the family dog, Bob, and helping to take down the last of the Christmas decorations. I say ‘said’ but he actually had to raise his voice a bit, due to the music channel he and his sister insisted on having blaring out on the TV.

‘Oh, don’t set her off again,’ chipped in Riley, my daughter. She was 22 to Kieron’s 20, and had come over to help too. She paused to shake her head and to roll her eyes at the sight of my long face. ‘It can’t be Christmas every day, Mum,’ she said, pulling a face at me. ‘Despite what the song says, okay?’

I pulled a face back but they were both probably right. I needed reminding of that, often. I loved everything glittery and sparkly, always have, and hated the rest of the winter’s dark days and dull colours. And this January already seemed particularly colourless. Not only Christmas had gone, but Justin had too, the 12-year-old boy who’d we’d fostered for the whole of the last year and whose leaving had left such a big hole in our lives. Sure, he still came to see us, and promised he’d keep doing so, but it wasn’t the same. How could it be? For all the challenges he’d brought with him – and there had definitely been challenges – I really missed having him around. What I needed right now was a new challenge. Something to shake me out of my post-festive blues and get me all fired up once again.

And when the phone rang, it seemed John was going to supply one. John was our link worker at the specialist fostering agency we worked for. He’d also trained both me and my husband, Mike, for the job. It had been John who’d placed Justin with us, and once Justin had left us, just a couple of weeks before Christmas, it was John who had warned us that we’d both better recharge our batteries, because there would soon be another child who needed our help.

The recharging that had taken place, in true Watson style, had naturally involved plenty of parties and fairy lights, and, this year, since Riley and her partner, David, had blessed us in the autumn with our very first grandson, Levi, even more exuberance and cuddly toys than usual. Perhaps it was just the contrast, I mused as I went to pick up the receiver, that was making January seem so drab and dull.

It wasn’t John on the phone, though; it was Mike, calling from work. John had phoned him there because he hadn’t been able to get an answer from me.

‘The kids and their racket, I expect,’ I explained. ‘They’re both helping me get the decorations down and part of the deal seems to be MTV on full blast.’ I pulled the living-room door closed to shut out the noise, so I could hear. ‘So what’s the news?’

‘He’s got a child he wants to talk to us about. But I couldn’t talk, of course, because I’m working.’ I smiled to myself. Mike was such a stickler for doing things by the book. He worked as a warehouse manager and he had his own office, but he’d never dream of taking time out for a personal call.

‘How exciting! What did he say? Did he tell you anything else?’ Suddenly my doldrums were gone the way of the Christmas tinsel. ‘Did he tell you anything about him? Or her?’

‘Her,’ said Mike. ‘It’s a girl, by all accounts. But that’s all I really know, because, like I said, love –’

‘Don’t worry,’ I interrupted. ‘You get back to work. I’ll call him. A girl! How exciting!’

I could still hear Mike chuckling to himself as I put down the phone.

I was on the phone to John only minutes later, pausing only to have a sneaky cigarette in my conservatory (I was obviously banned from the rest of the house, particularly now we had our little grandson around). Suddenly the garden looked very different to how it had. I forgot about the cold and instead mused on how pretty the apple tree looked, covered in white frosting. I finished the ciggie – I really must give up soon, I told myself – and went back inside to fish out John’s number.

He sounded very pleased to have heard from me. ‘Yes, it’s a girl,’ he confirmed, ‘and a real girlie girl too, so I thought she’d be right up your street.’

‘She sounds good already,’ I said. ‘So. What’s the situation? What’s her background and what sort of problems does she have?’

I was hoping for something quite detailed about her, as Justin, our last child, had come with very little known background, and we’d learned the hard way about how being forewarned is forearmed. With him we’d been anything but. However, John was quick to fill me in and reassure me. ‘That’s the thing, actually,’ he said. ‘You’re not going to have to follow the programme with this one. It’s only short term.’

That seemed odd. Our kind of fostering was all about behaviour modification, to help re-integrate kids back into the mainstream, so we’d been trained to use a specific, points-based programme with the kids we cared for.

‘Oh,’ I said. ‘How come?’

‘Because she’s already been placed long term with a mainstream foster carer.’

‘Oh, I see. But?’

‘But she – the carer, that is – has had some sort of mental breakdown, and needs to take extended sick leave for a few weeks.’

‘Oh, dear,’ I said. ‘Was it related?’

‘No, no,’ he said quickly. ‘Not that I’m aware of. She wants the child – her name’s Sophia, by the way – to return to her when she’s better.’

‘So she’s fine, then –’

‘Apparently, though I’m told she does have medical problems of her own. But I can’t tell you what they are because I don’t know myself. I did meet Sophia but I was told not to bring up anything medical – not in front of her, anyway, which meant I couldn’t get any proper facts. But I’ll find out more tomorrow and get back to you, okay? Perhaps I could come round and meet with you and Mike on Friday.’

It was around then that I had that niggling sixth sense kick in. Just the feeling that there might be something John was holding back. I tried to dismiss it, because there was really nothing I could put my finger on. But it was there.

And for very good reasons.

‘Another kid already?’ Kieron said as I went back into the living room to tell them, by now with Levi, who’d woken up, in my arms. Riley cooed and took him from me, talking baby talk at him. ‘Isn’t it a bit quick?’ Kieron added. ‘You know, after Justin?’

It’s easy to forget, when your children are grown up, that the things you do still have an impact on them. I’d been pretty low since Justin had gone, I knew, and I was touched to see the looks of concern on their faces. They glanced at one another now. ‘Kieron’s got a point,’ Riley said. ‘Are you sure you’re ready?’

‘Definitely,’ I said, meaning it. ‘I’m kicking my heels here, aren’t I?’ Which was true. Before Mike and I had switched to fostering, I’d been running a unit for troubled children in a big comprehensive school. It wasn’t normal for me to have nothing to do but rattle round my house, even with my new grandmotherly duties. Then I paused. Perhaps I wasn’t seeing things clearly. ‘But how about you two? If you’re not up for it, I could always ask to put it off.’

‘Don’t be daft, Mum,’ said Kieron, obviously reassured by my determined manner. ‘Be good to have another kid in. And if it’s a girl, that’s even better. I won’t have to fight for my games console and footie games this time.’

‘And we’ll be able to do lots of girl stuff together,’ agreed Riley. ‘Baby stuff, clothes shopping, make-up and hair … how old is she?’

‘Twelve,’ I said. ‘And funny you should say that. John Fulshaw remarked that she was a very girlie girl.’

‘So she’s going to love Justin’s bedroom, then,’ Kieron said, laughing.

‘Isn’t it going a bit over the top to decorate the whole room again?’ Mike wanted to know, once he was home from work and we were headed down to the chippy. I’d been planning on cooking, but what with getting the house sorted out, plus all the excitement of knowing we were getting a new foster child, I’d been too excited. Plus I fancied fish and chips.

‘Oh, it won’t be that much work,’ I reassured him. ‘And Riley’ll help me, I’m sure.’

‘Would have been no work at all if you hadn’t gone so overboard doing it up in the first place,’ he chided. That was Mike all over. He was so much more sensible and down to earth than me. A proper thinker. We’d been married fifteen years and I’d lost count of the times when he’d sat me down and said, ‘Now let’s just think this through …’ And he was right. I had gone a bit overboard for Justin, taking my football theme to perhaps rather excessive levels, with green carpet, football borders and wallpaper, a football clock – I’d even painted footballs on the bookcase and dresser.

‘I’m sure she will,’ Mike agreed, ‘but look, love, are you definitely sure you’re ready?’

Him too now! Had I really been acting like a nut job just lately? Because he was looking at me in the same way as the kids had. Yes, I’d been down, but how could I not have been? Losing Justin had really saddened me, but we had been warned to expect that. It was a grieving process I had to go through, no more, no less. Not surprising when you have such an intense relationship with a child. But I was over it and keen to move on now. Justin would always be a part of our lives, but day to day I needed that new challenge.

‘I am ready!’ I said to Mike. ‘And I am going to start re-decorating right away. And just you make sure you book that time off on Friday, okay? Honestly, love, I am more than bloody ready.’

Which was just as well, because it looked like we needed to be.

‘It’s a sad story,’ John told us on the Friday morning. He’d arrived on the dot of eleven, as he’d promised, and come armed with a folder full of papers. I thought back to when he’d visited to tell us about our first placement, and how madly I’d rushed around the house, tidying and polishing. So much water had passed under the bridge since that time. John was very much like a friend now. So no big cleaning-fest; just three big mugs of coffee, as we gathered around the kitchen table to discuss the facts.

‘Sophia only came into care about a year and a half ago,’ he went on. ‘Prior to that she lived with her mother – no siblings – who had been bringing her up alone. One-night stand, far as I know. Certainly no father in the picture. And then a tragedy: the mother – name of Grace Johnson – had mental health problems, by all accounts, and had a near-fatal fall down the stairs when Sophia was 11, which was thought to have been a suicide attempt.’

‘Suicide?’ Mike asked. ‘That sounds grim.’

John nodded. ‘There was a difficult family situation, apparently. Compounded by Sophia’s illness. But I’ll tell you more about that in a mo.’ He consulted his notes, obviously scanning them for the important bits. ‘Ah, here we are,’ he said. ‘The mother went into a coma – didn’t die – from which she has never recovered. She’s been classed as being in a persistent vegetative state, from which they don’t expect her to recover. Very sad.’

We both nodded.

‘So then it seems,’ he went on, ‘that Sophia went to stay with an uncle and his family – they formally fostered her – but after a year, when the uncle’s wife fell pregnant, apparently, they decided they could no longer keep her. Even sadder. So at that point a different fostering team were approached, and that’s when she was placed with her current carer, Jean. But, as you know, Jean’s not well now, so that’s where we’re at.’

He sat back. ‘God,’ I said, ‘the things some kids have to go through. And of course we want to help Sophia, don’t we, love?’ I turned to Mike.

He nodded. ‘Absolutely. But tell me, John. You mentioned something about an illness. What’s wrong with her?’

John sat forward again. ‘That’s what we need to discuss. Have the two of you ever heard of a condition called Addison’s disease?’

We shook our heads. ‘No,’ I said. ‘Never.’

‘I doubted you would have. Neither had I, until now. It’s rare, apparently – a disorder which destroys the adrenal glands. And it’s even more rare for it to be diagnosed in someone so young. But it’s controlled – she has to take tablets every day, which replace the hormones she’d be producing naturally – cortisol and, let me see, yes – something called aldosterone, so, in that sense, it won’t present you with too much of a problem. Apparently, it only becomes one if she gets stressed or feels under pressure …’

‘Which she might well do at the moment, mightn’t she?’ asked Mike.

John nodded. ‘Fair point. But I’m not really the one to tell you how it might become a problem. Apparently, social services are going to arrange for you both to have a quick tutorial with her doctor and her specialist nurse.’

‘Okay,’ I said. ‘That sounds sensible. Better to know what we’re doing than not. But how is she generally? Sounds like she’s been to hell and back, from what you say.’

‘I don’t know, to be truthful,’ John answered. ‘There really isn’t a great deal more on her file.’

Where have I heard that line before, I thought ruefully. It had become almost a catch phrase when we’d taken on Justin. John caught my expression and looked apologetic. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘It’s just that she hasn’t been in care that long, and when they are fostered with other family members, they never seem to be as strict with the record keeping. I’ll see what else I can find, obviously, but, in the meantime, how are you placed for taking her next Wednesday?’

‘That’s quick,’ said Mike. ‘How will we manage to fit in an initial visit? I’m sure neither she nor we would want to commit until we’ve met each other.’

‘I know,’ John said, the hope in his face clear as day. ‘But I was hoping we could do that on Monday. Jean goes into hospital on Wednesday, you see, for tests, so it would get complicated if …’

‘Fine,’ I said. ‘Monday is fine. The poor thing. But one thing, John.’

He nodded. ‘Yes?’

‘Why us? Why me and Mike? It sounds to me that this is a pretty mainstream and also very short-term placement. Why have you picked us and not a general foster carer? Is it the illness?’

He shook his head. ‘Well, okay, partly,’ he agreed. ‘But mainly because her behaviour apparently can be a little challenging. Nothing major – and you’ll know from experience that I don’t use the word lightly. She’s just a little undisciplined, it seems. And the feeling is – and this is strictly between you and me, okay? – that there’s been a general lack of discipline in her life since she’s been with Jean, and what with the complication of the Addison’s – well, you can see how easily a child with that sort of issue can become manipulative if allowed to.’

‘I get it,’ I said. ‘She needs some boundaries, then?’

‘I think that’s about the size of it. So it’s right up your street. No points, as I say, as this really is just temporary, but just do what the two of you do so well. And don’t let your heads swell, because I shouldn’t tell you this, but it was my boss who suggested we place her with you. He said, “If anyone can turn her around, the Watson family can. After all, look how well they did with Justin.”’

‘That’s nice,’ said Mike, though I could tell by his voice that he knew he was being sweet-talked.

‘And just as well I cracked on and got the room ready, then,’ I added. ‘Why don’t you take John up to see it, love, while I put the kettle on again.’

My head was whirring while they went up to admire my creative efforts. The poor child. How tragic. To lose her mum – to lose all she had in the world – and to have to cope with what sounded like such a debilitating condition on her own. I wondered if she ever got to see her mother in hospital at all, and when John and Mike came back downstairs I asked.

‘Yes, she does,’ John said. ‘Every six weeks or so, for an hour. Not that she gets anything out of it. She apparently gets really upset after each visit, which is why she doesn’t go there more often.’

‘Poor kid,’ I said. ‘It must be awful.’

‘The world we live in, I’m afraid, Casey,’ he said. ‘Hey, but a great job on the bedroom. Fit for a princess! Oh, and be prepared, because it’ll seem like she really is a little princess. She has quite an entourage, this one, in terms of a team. So you’ll need plenty of cups at the ready …’

When John had gone, Mike and I retreated to the living room, where we sat and talked about what was to come. A pointless exercise really, though one which we’d go on to repeat many times. You could never second-guess the future, particularly in our line of work.

‘See, though,’ I said. ‘It was worth me getting all that decorating done, wasn’t it? I’m like a walking girl guide motto. Be prepared!’

I said it in jest, but little did I know. Those prickles of mine didn’t happen for nothing. Because nothing could have prepared us for Sophia.

## Chapter 2

Monday morning arrived, and with it a fresh flurry of snow. Which made me groan because I’d just finished painstakingly polishing my wooden floors and now they were going to be trodden all over by soggy footwear.

‘Do you think I should ask everyone to take their shoes off?’ I asked Mike.

He shook his head. ‘I wouldn’t, love. It’ll only take a quick mop once they’re gone.’

‘A quick mop!’ I railed at him. ‘As if! I’ve spent all bloody morning polishing these floors – and by hand! You should try it some time. It’s –’

‘Hey!’ he snapped. ‘Calm down! Stop flapping – the floor’s fine. As is the rest of the house!’ His expression softened then, if just a little. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘I’ll help you do the mopping, okay? And I’m trying to be helpful. So don’t take your nerves out on me.’

He stomped off to the conservatory, and I felt a bit bad. I just wanted to make a good impression – I always did. And a spotless house seemed a good way to do that. It was probably my mother’s fault, this obsession, I decided. We were Catholics, and when we were kids she was just the same as I was now – on account of the parish priest and the nuns forever calling round and, more often than not, doing so unexpectedly. She’d always be in a complete tizzy, so, just to be sure, she’d scrub the house from top to bottom every day.

But there was no time to dwell on the fate that might befall my wooden flooring, because just as I was finishing giving it a last careful scrutiny I could see a car – no, three cars – pulling up outside.

‘Mike!’ I hissed. ‘Get back here! They’ve arrived. God, how many are there?’

He joined me at the living-room window and peeped out. ‘Bloody hell, that’s some posse,’ he agreed.

The first car, which we recognised, held John Fulshaw, of course. The second contained a young girl – presumably Sophia – and two females, and in the third was another woman, plus a man.

We repositioned ourselves behind the front door in time to open it and welcome them, allowing a blast of cold air to swirl around our legs. It really was a bitterly cold day.

The young girl’s smile, however, was warm. ‘You must be Sophia,’ I said, grinning at her and holding out my hand. She promptly shook it, seeming genuinely friendly. I ushered her inside, along with the others, where Mike took over with the traffic management, and herded them all in the direction of the dining room. Always good to have a table to sit around at such times, and the one in the kitchen was too small.

Not that we had enough chairs in the dining room, for that matter, and I winced inwardly as I realised he was off to get more from the conservatory; ones that I hadn’t thought to wash down.

I mentally scolded myself. It didn’t matter if the chairs weren’t completely pristine. This was about Sophia’s welfare, not what people put their bums on!

I glanced across at her to smile again, but now she was in whispered conversation, speaking close to the ear of one of the women she’d come in the car with. A woman who’d looked nervous from the off. I was just wondering whether this might be her social worker, when the woman promptly burst into tears, grabbed Sophia and pulled her in for a hug.

Glancing first at me – I clearly looked as dumbfounded as I felt – one of the other women took a step and pulled the two apart. ‘Come on,’ she said smartly, though not unkindly, at the two of them. ‘Jean, you promised me you wouldn’t do this. Come on, let Sophia go and then perhaps we can start the meeting. We haven’t even got as far as introductions!’

Ah, so this was Sophia’s carer, I thought. The one we’d heard was ill. So that would explain her rather strained and strange demeanour. But even so, as we all sat down, I reached under the table for Mike’s hand and squeezed it. Something definitely didn’t feel quite right here.

While introductions were made, I studied Sophia more carefully. In fact, it was hard to keep my eyes off her. She was only 12 years of age but she was a startlingly well-developed girl. With her height – she was around five foot eight, to my five foot nothing – she could easily pass for 16 or over. She was also seriously tanned – so much so that she looked like she’d just come back from the Med. Which she obviously hadn’t, so did it come from a bottle? It certainly fitted – she dressed to kill, clearly knowing she had a figure to die for, emphasising her large boobs with a tight low-cut top, over skinny jeans and a pair of high-heeled boots. She was also sitting back, looking composed, with a strange smile on her face, as if allowing the proceedings to wash over her. All in all it was an arresting first impression.

Linda Samson, the supervising social worker, kicked off, explaining the facts that John had already outlined: that Jean was unable to look after Sophia temporarily and that as a consequence she needed a short-term placement.

Sophia leaned forward then, and to both my and Mike’s astonishment said, ‘Linda, could you please make a record of the fact that it’s Jean who has asked for this, it’s Jean that can’t cope? Because I’m sure,’ and her eyes flicked towards Jean as she spoke, ‘that real mothers don’t just dump their kids at the first sign of illness.’

I was gobsmacked. And Jean had started crying again. Linda’s face reddened. ‘Sophia, sweetheart,’ she entreated. ‘We have explained all this to you. You know what’s going on. Please don’t make matters any worse.’

Jean’s tears, as Linda spoke, had become increasingly voluble. Was she really in any fit state to be here? Clearly not – because she then asked my unspoken question. ‘Why did I come?’ she sobbed. ‘I knew I shouldn’t have! Oh, this is all just too much! Sophia, please, darling, don’t do this!’

I was absolutely stunned, and could see Mike was, too. He was looking at John with a plea in his expression. Was John going to say something, or should he?

‘Okay, everyone,’ John said, only moments before Mike did. ‘Let’s all try to calm down a little, shall we? Sophia?’ He waited till he had her full attention. ‘How about you and I have a quick tour of the house. See your room and so on. That will be okay, won’t it, Casey?’

I nodded. ‘And Bob’s in Kieron’s bedroom, John. Perhaps Sophia would like to meet him as well.’

Bob was Kieron’s dog, a scruffy and adorable little mongrel whom he and his girlfriend Lauren had got from a rescue centre the previous year. I watched as the two of them left the dining room together, and almost felt the air stir as everyone exhaled. It was a bizarre situation and I knew Mike could sense it too. It was as if everyone in there was going out of their way not to upset this 12-year-old child in a woman’s body.

‘Erm, I’m a little confused,’ I admitted, once I knew they’d be out of earshot. ‘I thought all this had already been arranged.’ I leaned forward. ‘Are you okay, Jean?’

Jean nodded sadly, though she said nothing. It was Sam Davies, Sophia’s social worker, who spoke up. ‘It has,’ she confirmed. ‘It’s just that it’s all a bit raw for Jean and Sophia. It’s Jean’s first ever foster placement, you see, and she’s obviously upset that she has to let go of Sophia so soon. What makes it worse, of course, is that Sophia sees it as so much of a rejection, however much we all reassure her that isn’t the case. We can all see where she’s coming from, I’m sure.’ Everyone nodded. ‘She really is terribly alone in the world. The only family she has left is the uncle, as I think you know, and he’s made it very clear he doesn’t want her. Packed her off the minute his wife got pregnant, by all accounts. Very difficult for a child who’s already been through so much …’

‘Which is why we feel it’s so important that Sophia has a solid team around her,’ added Linda. Yes, but more like an adoring retinue, I silently thought. ‘Jack?’ Linda went on. ‘Would you like to explain your role?’

Jack Boyd was a small, jovial-looking Irishman. His job, he explained, had been to be a ‘friend’ to Sophia, taking her out once a week, to an outing like bowling or the cinema. He’d carry on, he said, to ensure continuity, if we wanted. Sophia had his mobile number, he added, and often liked to call him, especially if she was upset. Mike, who’d stayed silent, taking everything in, now chipped in. About something that, in the midst of all the upset, I had completely forgotten about myself.

‘Sophia’s Addison’s disease,’ he said to Jean. ‘Can you tell me about that? We have to visit the doctors to find out a little more about the management, but can you shed any light on the challenges it throws up for you?’

Jean looked slightly nonplussed. ‘Oh, I’m sure the medical team will tell you everything you need to know,’ she said. ‘You just have to watch out for the warning signs of her getting stressed, really, because that’s dangerous. Like getting a bit snappy and irritable. That’s when I know, because she’s normally such a sweetie.’

The rest of the posse smiled an indulgent group smile when Jean said this, and once again I got the sensation of this group of people treading on eggshells, even when the girl wasn’t in the room!

But then she was – she and John re-entered the dining room at that moment, and she immediately went over to behind Jack’s chair, where she stopped a moment, to ruffle his hair. It seemed an unlikely gesture, and a little out of place. He lurched forward slightly, having not anticipated it, as those of us had who were sitting opposite, saying, ‘Ah, give over, you little rascal!’ He glanced across to us. ‘She’s always picking on me, this one. I have to have my wits about me, so I do.’

‘It’s just because I love your accent, Jack,’ she told him, sitting down again. She turned to me now. ‘Don’t you just love the Irish, Casey?’ she wanted to know. She was laughing out loud now and everyone else looked uncomfortable.

I smiled at her. ‘Well, you’ll meet some more Irish people in our house, Sophia. My two brothers married sisters from Ireland – from Belfast. We often visit them. And they come here with their kids all the time.’

Sophia stopped laughing now. Abruptly. ‘Oh, I don’t think that’ll be the same, will it? Not if they’re women.’

‘Sophia,’ John interjected, before I could close my now open mouth. ‘Have you anything you’d like to ask Mike and Casey, before we finish up?’ The sense of tension in the room was almost palpable.

‘I don’t think so,’ she said mildly. ‘The room is lovely. Really lovely. And your dog is adorable … Oh, I know! How old are you both? I don’t like old people. Mike, you look quite young, though. Are you older, Casey?’

I was stunned at the girl’s cheek, but not half as much as the fact that a couple of others in the room had actually giggled. This was some ‘professional’ team. It really was.

‘You know, Sophia?’ said Mike pleasantly. ‘Just for future reference, it’s not really polite to ask an adult their age. But, since you ask, Casey’s younger than I am.’

‘Well then,’ said Linda, clearly keen to get away now. Sophia herself didn’t open her mouth. ‘If there’s nothing else, I think we can wrap this up now. I’m sure, Casey and Mike, you’ll have more questions to ask, so be assured that one of us will always be on hand to answer them. All our numbers will be on the paperwork that we’ll be bringing on Wednesday morning, and I’ll also leave you the address of Dr Wyatt, Sophia’s doctor. Your appointment with him is at 1 p.m. on Wednesday, by the way, so plenty of time to get to –’

‘That’s a point,’ said Mike. ‘Where is this doctor based anyway?’

Linda handed him the sheet with the address on. ‘He’s here. It’s –’

‘The Lake District!’ Mike gasped. ‘Cumbria? But that’s a couple of hundred miles away!’

‘You only have to attend once a month or so,’ Linda said quickly. ‘Unless there are complications …’

‘I should hope so!’ Mike snapped. ‘It’s a six-hour round trip! It would have been nice if someone had told us this before!’

Sophia, who had been about to leave the room, now turned around. ‘Aw, diddums,’ she said, and it was clear she was getting her own back. ‘Doesn’t Daddy like driving?’

Sam pushed Sophia’s coat into her arms. ‘Stop being silly,’ she snapped. It was the first time I’d heard anyone admonish her.

Mike was furious, I could see, so I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, hoping I could help him calm down. What hope had we if she could wind him up so comprehensively, and so quickly? Not a lot, I decided. Not a lot at all.

We saw them out – all bar John – with fixed smiles on our faces. What were we about to take on? See beyond, I kept telling myself. See beyond the bad behaviour to the hurting child beneath. So I looked, but, by God, it was hard.

‘Quite a team she has there, eh?’ John said, to break the silence that was threatening to swallow us all up, minutes later. We’d moved into the kitchen now, and Mike had set about washing up the cups, the crockery rattling furiously as he did so. The hall floor was suddenly the last thing on my mind.

‘She didn’t come across at all like that the last time I met her,’ John added limply. ‘Like a different girl completely …’ He tailed off.

‘Bloody hell, John!’ I said. ‘That was completely bizarre. It was like they were all absolutely terrified of upsetting her; pandering to everything, pussyfooting around her … Does she turn into a werewolf when crossed? Is that it?’

John pulled out a kitchen chair and sat on it, looking weary. ‘I’ve never witnessed anything like that before,’ he admitted. ‘All my dealings with that team have been on the phone up to now, and up to now they’ve all seemed really switched on. I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘You’re right. It does all feel a bit of a challenge, doesn’t it? To be honest, I only agreed to taking the case because it was going to be so short term. And it won’t be for long, I’m sure, because, as you can see, Jean really wants to keep her, long term.’

‘Is she really strong enough?’ Mike said. ‘I can’t see it myself. But I hope she does.’ He frowned. ‘Because, much as I hate to say this, I smell trouble. I think there’s much more to this girl than meets the eye.’

John was, of course, relentlessly apologetic. He apologised for not being able to find out more about Sophia’s background or her illness. He apologised for not knowing the doctor was so far away. He apologised for not knowing about the apparently worrying prospect of what might happen if she got a little ‘stressed’. And he promised that he would do everything he could to find out more – because forewarned was forearmed.

We reassured him that we weren’t going to take it personally – because it wasn’t his fault, was it? It was just going to be a challenging sort of placement, we all agreed, and challenges, we also agreed, were what we were all about. Even so, as Mike and I waved John off from the doorstep, I couldn’t help feeling that there were challenges and there were challenges, and that this one might not be to our liking.

‘You know, love?’ I said to Mike, reaching out for a hug. ‘I was really looking forward to having a new child to foster, and now, you know what? I’m not sure I am any more.’

He pulled me in. ‘I know, love. It all looks a little daunting, doesn’t it? But I suppose that’s exactly what we get paid for. We’ll just have to do our best, eh? See how it goes. And remember just how much she’s had to cope with in her life. She’s probably feeling angry at the whole world.’

Mike was right, of course. We both knew we had to see past the behaviour and remember that she was a child who had not yet hit her teens, and was without a mum – without any family to speak of. Couple all that with what sounded like a very complicated and, possibly, life-threatening condition, and it was no wonder she was angry and demanding. I sighed as it hit me just how difficult this might be. And not just because Sophia would be a difficult child to manage. It was because I had a sixth sense – no, I knew – that all the efforts we made at establishing boundaries, which we badly needed to, had the potential for being undermined at every turn by the team of professionals who seemed intent to let her have her way all the time and, in doing so, turn her into a monster. Couldn’t they see they weren’t helping her development? They were just adding to her sense of entitlement, her bad manners and her unrealistic expectations; not a great recipe for a happy adult life.

I could only hope one thing, that we could make a difference. Even if it seemed, on the face of it, like a tall order.

‘The coast is clear!’ I told Riley, over the phone, twenty minutes later. ‘Can you come round with Levi and cheer me up?’

Bless her, my daughter is an absolute sweetheart, and I knew seeing her and my lovely grandson would make the prospect so much less bleak. I set about making lunch for the three of us – Riley, Mike and me – before Mike had to rush off back to work.

‘So was she awful?’ Riley asked, as soon as she arrived. ‘You sounded pretty down on the phone.’

I’d certainly felt it. As I’d said to Mike before she’d arrived, I now felt pretty silly, having gone so bloody overboard on the bedroom. And I had – well, me and Riley had – to a ridiculous degree. There were pink fluttery butterflies hanging in the window, two layers of contrasting pink curtains, with silver sequins dotted over them, matching bed linen and fluffy pink cushions. The bed had also been transformed by a glittery pink canopy, which hung from the ceiling and flowed over the pillows. The walls sported an array of butterflies and fairies, and the offending football-adorned bookcase was now gleaming white, and sat among mushrooms (Riley’s idea – garden ornaments), upon which sat more fairies … It really was a room fit for a princess. Trouble was, what we seemed to have was less a princess than a little madam.

But as Mike had pointed out, aiding that transition was our job. But he’d looked at me gloomily, as if reading my thoughts. ‘Screw the room, Casey,’ he’d said. ‘That’s the least of our worries.’

It was good to have Riley here to break the tension. ‘Tell you what,’ I said now, ‘I’ll go and dig some toys out for Levi. Mike, why don’t you tell Riley all about it, love?’

I went off to the blanket box under the stairs, knowing Mike would be able to stick to the facts and not get over-emotional, like I would. I didn’t want to seem overemotional about it, as I knew the kids would just fret even more about whether we’d done the right thing.

Funny, I thought, pulling out the box and lifting the lid, how you have expectations in life, without any evidence to back them up at all. I’d collected a lot of these toys when we’d first discussed fostering, mistakenly thinking we’d have lots of little children around. Naïve, really – it was the older kids who needed our kind of specialist help. The ones a way down the line; the really damaged ones. Still, I thought, pulling out a singing pig for Levi, maybe the toy fairy knew I’d soon have my first grandchild. It was a nice thought after a troubling kind of morning.

When I returned to the kitchen, Mike and Riley, thank goodness, were both laughing.

‘Sounds like you’ve got a proper little madam on your hands!’ Riley said, echoing my own thoughts.

‘Dad’s filled you in, then?’ I asked her.

‘Yes, he has,’ she confirmed. ‘Though don’t worry, Mum. You’ll soon have her learning our ways. No airs and graces in this house!’

I nodded. ‘But I am worried about Kieron,’ I confessed. My son has a mild form of Asperger’s syndrome, which makes him vulnerable in lots of little ways. He doesn’t see bad in anyone, much less any kind of guile, and I suspected, with him being young, not to mention tall and good looking, that he might be a target for Sophia’s attentions. ‘I think he’s going to find her a bit overwhelming,’ I said. ‘She seems a bit over the top in the touchy-feely department – you saw the way she was with that Jack, didn’t you, Mike? She’s definitely a bit flirty around men.’

‘A bit?! And he was mortified,’ Mike agreed. ‘So we’ll just have to prepare Kieron. You know, make it clear that he’ll need to keep his distance.’

‘And put some rules in place, for definite. Even if she’s not going on the programme. She needs some guidelines more suitable for a girl of her age.’

Which was what we did, over the course of the next twenty-four hours, as well as filling Kieron in on how unlike most 12-year-old girls she was, and how running around in boxers might be a very bad idea. I also contacted my old school – the one I’d worked in before the career change into fostering – and secured Sophia a place there to start the following Monday. Finally, I spent a little while on the internet, trying to find out what I could about Addison’s disease. It seemed to be as described – something life-long and incurable – but which, with tablets, seemed straightforward to manage. The only alarming thing I read was that people with the disorder could have ‘crises’, when the levels of hormones fell so low they could die, if not treated immediately by injection. That sounded worrying, and I made a mental note to ask the doctor a bit more. Then I called John Fulshaw, to fill him in too, and was taken aback by his response.

‘Oh, Casey, I can’t tell you, I’m so grateful to you and Mike. After yesterday morning I really thought you’d be calling me to say you’d changed your minds.’

‘Not at all, John,’ I told him. ‘We’re giving this a go. It’ll be different, for sure, but we’ll find a way through it.’

All that done, and with Mike at work and Kieron at college – he was there doing a course in music and media, which he was loving – I trotted off to the conservatory for a sneaky cigarette. I must try to stop, I chided myself, as I did every time, but I couldn’t seem to. I smoked very little, but that emergency packet of twenty that I kept above the fridge-freezer was an absolute lifeline in times of great stress. And I was stressed, I thought, as I opened the patio doors and lit one.

But if I’d known just how much more stressful my life was soon going to become, I think I would have booked myself in for an asbestos lung replacement, ready.