# Sit Down, Be Quiet: A modern guide to yoga and mindful living

Michael James Wong, The Boys of Yoga

‘Some guys think yoga makes you less of a man, the truth is it makes you a better one.’


In today’s society, being a man is overrated. There is a set of unspoken rules that govern the way men are supposed to act and behave – act tough, don’t cry, win at all costs and these Rules are passed down from generation to generation. BUT a shift has happened and the world has opened up to a more conscious way of living, a more compassionate way of living.


Boys of Yoga’s Sit Down, Be Quiet is a straightforward book for the modern male who’s ready to step in and start taking control of their own identity and mental well-being. It’s time to smash the stereotypes and appreciate that It’s cool to be kind, self- aware and non-judgemental. Through practising yoga – working inside as well as out and adopting mindful approach to the everyday this book celebrates the way in which guys can take the first steps to a healthier, happier life in the here and now.

COPYRIGHT

Thorsons

An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published by Thorsons 2018

FIRST EDITION

Text and photography (except where indicated) © Michael James Wong 2018

Cover design by Sim Greenaway © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2018

Cover photograph © Nicola Peters

A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

Michael James Wong asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Find out about HarperCollins and the environment at www.harpercollins.co.uk/green

Source ISBN: 9780008249656

Ebook Edition © March 2018 ISBN: 9780008249649

Version 2018-02-01

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to you, your brother,your dad, your boyfriend, your grandpa,your teacher, your mate, your homie, yourBOYS and any guy ready to step into a moremindful way of living.

Now is the time to begin.

boysofyoga.com

@boysofyoga

CONTENTS

COVER

TITLE PAGE

COPYRIGHT

DEDICATION

FOREWORD

ABOUT BOYS OF YOGA

INTRODUCTION

01 THE PRACTICE

What Is Yoga All About?

02 JUST BREATHE

You’re One Breath Away From Calm

03 WHAT GOES WHERE?

Learning The Basics And How To Get Started

04 INSIDE OUT

It’s Not A Work Out, It’s A Work In

05 KILL THE EGO

Kindness Has No Enemies

06 DON’T FIGHT THE FEELING

Redefining Manly

07 SIT DOWN, BE QUIET

Turn The Volume Down

08 ACTIONS VS REACTIONS

What Is An Action?

09 RIGHT AND LEFT

Not Right And Wrong

10 PRIORITIES

Get Them Straight

11 THE FUTURE IS NOW

If Not Now, When?

LIST OF SEARCHABLE TERMS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

THANK YOUS

ABOUT THE PUBLISHER

Foreword

To my son, and all the boys out there.

When you were younger you were a joy to be around. As you got older there were times your mother and I thought otherwise. But it didn’t mean we ever stopped loving you. You were just growing up and figuring out who you wanted to be.

In the years that followed you were eager to learn more: about yourself, your family, your home, your community and how life worked when you had a little more time to experience it. There were good times, and times that didn’t go exactly to plan. And that’s ok, it’s how life is supposed to be.

Parenting in any form is not an easy job and, like life, there is no roadmap. But I think we did alright. Our approach was simple; we encouraged you to have an open mind and a big heart and to understand that the world is a far nicer place when it’s greeted with a hug or a high five. As your parents, we showed you life through the lens of our family, but allowed you the freedom to choose how you wanted to live and who you wanted to become.

We raised you to know that you are always more than enough.

We are from a different generation, and our greatest fear was that you would end up too much like us – outdated, behind the times and with an unwillingness to learn and grow with the ever-changing world.

Always remember to take risks, tell people you love them and say it like you mean it. You’ve only got one shot at this thing called life – make sure you live it to the fullest.

My wish is that this book opens the minds of more men of all ages to take to the mat, to become yogis of the future, for their own good and wellbeing. Since you started yoga, I’ve learned that it’s not a casual pastime and it’s not just something to make you more flexible, or calm your temper; it’s the full package – a lifestyle and a wonderful, fulfilling and healthy way of living.

It’s something I wish I had known more about when I was younger and I’m sure your mother would agree.

I’m extremely inspired by what you do, who you have become and your willingness to always stay true to your intentions. Never compromise on the things that make you happy, just keep smiling and enjoy the ride.

Lots of love

Dad

P.S. Don’t forget to call your mum.

(Graham C. Wong, Santa Monica, California)


Yancy Scott Schwartz

About Boys Of Yoga

To most guys yoga is pink Lycra and vegan chicks. It’s breathing deeply while doing poses named after animals and feelings. It’s done in dimly lit rooms with candles and incense, followed by gluten-free cupcakes and kale smoothies. And if that’s your mentality, then you’re not alone.

But it doesn’t mean you’re right. The real practice of yoga is working in, not working out. There is a lot more to it than just making shapes on the mat, and over time the body will get stronger and more flexible, the mind calmer and daily life will feel a little less chaotic. Yoga can give you the physical workout you want, but go deeper and you’ll realise it’s so much more.

‘SMASH THE STEREOTYPE AND GET MORE GUYS ON THE MAT’

Unfortunately, these days the perception is still one-dimensional. Magazine pages and Instagram feeds are flooded with bikini-clad girls on the beach in all kinds of acrobatic poses reminiscent of the circus. Is this yoga? Yes, but it’s not the full picture. Take one step back and widen your perspective and you’ll see there is a whole other breed of yogi out there, the BOYS, inspiring, teaching and living yoga in their communities all around the world.

This is BOYS OF YOGA, the uncelebrated minority. A project aimed at sharing a different side of the yoga community in an authentic and unfiltered way.

What started as a casual conversation about guys being under-represented in the modern yoga community has turned into a movement to challenge the way we view and practise yoga in the Western world today.

The aim is simple: smash the stereotypes of yoga for guys and share the benefits that the practice offers both on and off the mat.

With inspiring stories and experiences shared by male yogis from around the world, this is a movement to change the world for the better. It’s pretty simple: yoga is good for everyone and the benefits are undeniable.

Now is the time to get involved.


Find out more at boysofyoga.com @boysofyoga

Introduction

Hi, I’m Michael James Wong. Global Yogi, Wellness Warrior and founder of BOYS OF YOGA.

But before all of this, I was just a boy who was born in New Zealand and grew up on the beaches of Santa Monica, California. I was from a place no one had heard of until the Lord of the Rings movies and, growing up as an immigrant, I just wanted to fit in and belong.

In those days most of the other kids thought New Zealand and Madagascar were the same country (remember, this was before wifi and Facebook). On a good day, they assumed New Zealand was part of Australia. Growing up in LA, some kids looked at me as if I was from a distant planet and teased me because I had a ‘resident alien’ card in my wallet that my mom made me carry around to prove I was allowed to live in the US.

At the time, I lacked confidence and identity. I wasn’t American (I didn’t get my citizenship until I was 16) and I didn’t feel Kiwi (I didn’t have the accent and only visited once a year during the holidays). I’m also Chinese-Asian, something that I battled with growing up because it made life more confusing. I had the surname, but no ties to the culture or country other than weekend dinners and select colloquialisms. I was a bit from everywhere, and at the time I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. As a kid that was tough. But looking back I can see that it made me who I am today, and has allowed me to live the life I have now. And for that I’m forever grateful.

I had a pretty typical childhood in a liberal progressive city … playing sports, being the drummer in a band, becoming a Boy Scout and living life in shorts and a t-shirt. I’m lucky to have an amazing family with supportive parents who have always been there for me, no matter what. My parents moved us to LA early in the 1980s because of work (my dad was the general manager of Canterbury of New Zealand back then) and in those early days when we had just moved to town I didn’t have a lot of friends, so family life was everything.

My dad coached soccer and he never missed a game or school function and to this day is still a pillar in the Santa Monica social and sports community. My mom is the family rock – kind, thoughtful and compassionate. She taught me how to cook, be a gentleman, respect everyone and see the good in people. I don’t think she has ever taken a night off, she really is the best mom in the world (in my humble opinion).

I am the middle child of three. I have an older brother, Andrew; he was the guy you always wanted on your side, not because he was a tough guy (though he frequently reminded me growing up who was in charge), but because he’s loyal, trustworthy, honest and kind. I give a lot of credit to him for me turning out an ok human being. My little sister, Nicole, is the family superstar; straight-A student, artist, creative and Daddy’s little princess. Even to this day she still puts her older brothers to shame and we expect nothing less.

After high school, I went to the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) on a music scholarship, but later gave it up and instead graduated with a degree in Sociology and the study of human behaviour. It was clear even back then that I enjoyed immersing myself in the study of real life, rather than notes on a page.

My journey with yoga started around 2005 and it changed my life for ever. Despite growing up in LA, yoga wasn’t part of my vocabulary until my early 20s. When I started, I started reluctantly. A few friends dragged me to that first class and it felt awkward and intimidating. I just wasn’t any good at yoga, and the problem was I thought I was supposed to be. Touching my toes is an ability that comes and goes daily and I’m certain my foot will never reach behind my head, but that’s not really the point. Yoga has always been great to keep me fit and flexible, but the benefits are far greater than just this. Yoga changed, and saved, my life.

‘YOGA CLEANSED ME, SHAPED ME AND GAVE ME SOMETHING TO BE INSPIRED BY’

Yoga gave me passion and perspective, something I’d never had growing up. I lived in a bubble; parties, late nights, all the glitzy superficiality that comes with growing up in LA. My reality was skewed and my ego over-inflated. I can honestly say I’m not sure how I would have turned out if I hadn’t stumbled into that first class at City Yoga on Fairfax Avenue.

Yoga cleansed me, shaped me and gave me something to be inspired by. The asana (the physical practice) committed me to a daily dose of strength, flexibility and mobility; it gave me a challenge that I couldn’t talk my way out of. These days, this part of the practice reminds me how lucky I am to be able to tie my own shoes, pick up and play with my niece, Koa, and walk away from things that don’t serve my life.


Michael James Wong © Niki Priest

Yoga gave me peace in a way I didn’t even know I needed, the kind that helped me battle my daily insecurities. Even more, yoga helped to calm the chaos in my mind, manage my personal anxiety and perceive the world from a kinder point of view, one day at a time.

Through the practice, I’ve started to slow down. I’m quieter now than I used to be. I enjoy the silence. Beyond anything else, yoga has given me space, something I never knew was lacking in my life. Yoga helped me to find confidence in myself on and off the mat. Those first few years of dedicated practice allowed me to realise that life wasn’t all about being cool.

‘YOGA HELPED TO CALM THE CHAOS IN MY MIND’

At the age of 25 I left the US to travel the world and experience a little more of what life had to offer (to the anguish of my mother, I’ve yet to move back home). Since leaving, I’ve split my time between Sydney and London, getting my passport stamped in as many places as possible on the way.

And I’m still going. I’ve been teaching yoga, modern mindfulness and meditation for the past ten years and I am blessed to have an amazing community of yogis, teachers, students and friends all over the world.


Michael James Wong © Niki Priest

I give credit to my parents for my diverse upbringing and the trust and freedom they allowed me to continue exploring the world.

I’m grateful for all the choices I have made to get me to this point in my life. I always thank my parents for showing me the world through their eyes. I’ve been lucky enough to be an immigrant my whole life. I was raised to respect everyone from everywhere, because I was welcomed everywhere. Home has always been where friends and family are, and these days, no matter where I go I’m home.

This is me living my Yoga.