Feelings online
Laura Mikhralieva

© Laura Mikhralieva, 2020

ISBN 978-5-4493-1850-3

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

I would like to show my gratitude to Anastasia Kuzmina, the poem translator. Thank you for your willingness to make the idea come true. You have managed to enter the meaning of the words, with changing and choosing the right rhyme, because, on understanding the message contained in the poems, you have done a great job! I am really proud of our cooperation, as you have wonderfully presented and arranged my thoughts in the poems translated.

The ash of our love

I want to bounce away from the downfall
And not to be afraid to dispose of all your fears,
But I don’t have wings: they glow in blaze,
So let the ash of our love smolder.
Solitude will share our beds
At night, covering us with the star powder wraps,
With our thoughts and songs, face to face,
Because it’s sheer and more sincere.
I’m still with you, but something has changed
In me, not in vain:
Solid steps and no smile…
Such is the nature of masks
That they conceal the soul’s pain.

You are my universe

Your shoulders reflect the dawn gleam,
And our lips remember our languid kisses.
We have a lot to remember and to dream.
No pain.
No sleep, no energy, but the best you were,
I felt it…
I touch you, like a drop of rain…
So, please, embrace me
And say, that I am your universe,
In a whisper…

My best mistake

I’m not an angel, I make mistakes,
But still, of all of them, my best one
Is you!
I often return to such conceptions.
I’m tired, but you’re forgiven.
And now it is all right.
I search for something that I can understand,
You’re now full of passion and light,
I love you in every strand!
You are my obsession!
When you were side by side with me,
You were about to fall, but – no!
I won’t allow you to!
You make me sad, so come to me
Because I’m restless, yes, that’s true.
And you are in my soul’s darkest side,
Then, I want you to abide
There forever.

Truly original

He was the copy of mine.
You were truly original.
You always attracted my eye,
But, at the same time, you were repelling.
Love is very near to hate,
But it was our fate
To live on our love.
I followed you, here and there,
But we went nowhere.
Don’t show your feelings to everyone,
As you are being enclosed in their bond.
I have my common sense,
But when you’re gone, I’m in a big fluster.
I forget, more or less,
Those who have nothing to say. And even faster
Than my past…
You retain your being cold,
And you inflame the passion
In things that are old
To you,
And evoke your potential.

The shine of your eyes

The shine of your eyes is searching for me, straying,
And there are only perfumes in the air,
With its touches and compliments brought in a whisper
Saying that we are a unity,
And it isn’t our fault.
Tune into me, and I’ll appear in your dreams.
I’ll stay there with you, just call
Me.
So I step into the stream
Of passion. Let’s play a game.
Adore me with your scorching glance,
And we may do our love dance.
I see that you want to be with me, and again,
You’ve lost your being quiet…

Guess

What do you see in my eyes?
Wait, don’t say aloud.
My finger is on your lips,
And my pulse is beaten about.
Reproach and expectation —
That’s what I read in your eyes.
You want to escape from my world perception,
But I haven’t yet taken away my feelings!
There are only guesses and dissimilation,
And everybody is in bustle.
The only thing that I want
Is to hold you in a huddle.
I see your being silent
Without any cause.
So live in the present
And be as gentle with me as I was.

I touch my eyelashes

I don’t want to exist without these emotions,
And I’m not going to release them and forget
About it.
You are the cause of my sleepless nights,
And I know you always draw your portion.
I touch my eyelashes with the moonlight,
And in my dreams, I get
Everything.
Such a way makes miracles easier to happen,
And I will not have my eyes covered
With a blanket of the darkness.
Be my star and light the way,
And I will look for the key
To my desires and the need
For eager lips that are so sweet…

Zodiac

We’re like the pages of the same book
Closed for the other people.
You always listen to me and have a look
At the zodiac, one for two,
So I respect your freedom.
But if you’re afraid of your emotions, I’m afraid too.
You want me to make the first step to our relations.
Sometimes, our feelings are so intensive
That we blow up the foundation —
The ground for life
On the Earth.
We intend to attain an idyll of love
And search for vivid emotions and a change in us both.

Waiting

Befuddled by waiting in public,
We appreciate our wishes,
Because the feelings will betray us.
I make timid endeavors for hope,
But the wind blows out the candles.
I think to hold you is no occasion
Because you’ll definitely reach your destination —
It’s me…
There are two souls in the reflection —
Worn out and lonely.
They beat in rhythm to tunes, they are the same,
But you have no response, neither do I… again…

Feelings

Feelings are like animal instincts.
They have fully occupied our brain.
This is unavailing struggle
Because we enjoy it, and not in vain.
There is no cure for lust
And there are no doctors, at last.
When you fall in love and you’re happy,
Nothing can prevent you from having your head in the clouds.
You are such a bad habit
That I’m addicted to you and I live with it, around
Me.
We like to commit imbecilities
That we are both devoted to, with such a facility…

Peace

We are demented not due to noise, but peace.
When you hear your heartbeat,
You can easily go out of your head.
The doors are locked, and you can’t go.
And a bird must not be kept inside
As she has her wings
Given for the dream.
If you want to achieve your goal,
Then, you must fly in the life steam!
The truth is always honest,
But, sometimes, it’s not as kind
As you might consider.
And when my heart beats,
It means I still can breathe…

Dreamcatcher

Oh, catcher of my autumn dreams!
I’ve disturbed you, but otherwise I can’t do.
You conceal my feelings, as I see them through.
With your being prudent, everything is accorded with the steam
Of life.
I know, sadness is always full of rain,
But warmth does not allay any strain.
The wind is the sinner in our souls,
Stealing our memories without any trace, but with a goal…
Sweeping the keys, slowly or amain.
It would be wrong to follow when going away.
We have no energy to shut the gate,
But to believe in miracles is our fate…

Closest friends

They’re the closest friends, but not so old.
The time has passed, so must it be recalled?
We won’t find anyone alike,
And nostalgia torments us again.
We were making flawless mistakes,
With our hearts addicted more than nicotine impact.
The time educated us, only masking cuts.
As it’s a small world, madmen can do every single thing,
Even always cry.
So do we, what’s more, we look at the sky.
If we are sad, don’t say anything:
They’ll hit you hard.
Maybe, you remember looking into each other’s eyes
Without looking at the time?

Illusion

You haven’t taught me anything.
I’ve found the truth on my own, rising again.
I’m not afraid of bounding without wings,
As I have a spring inside me, living not in vain.
My feelings are like flare: you’re easy to get burnt,
So we warm ourselves, enjoying.
But I’m afraid to cast an old shoe after you
Because I don’t want to release you,
Looking into your soul and see that we’re resemblant,
Indulge in illusions and suffer.
So I must learn to let you go if I have no power,
And not to writhe but live in present.

Feelings on the replay

You play skillfully with words,
You touch me with your lips stunned with glory,
But please, let’s not replay the world
Of our feelings,
Because it’s not a love story.
So, emotions
Will color our notions.
We are like true artists
Drafting the borders between us
By using neutral greyish dabs.
We’re responsible for our feelings,
So that actions will indicate everything.
And we imagine every frame
That dwells upon the life game.

Your flaws

You consist of a multitude of flaws
Which you admit and endorse.
You’re proud, and you don’t fall in love with everyone,
But, as for them, they do. You know this fact.
You’re a stable man, with your esprit impact,
So reputation and regard are your concern.
But you evanish when there is the sunset’s turn.
I say this without any flam.
You are going to leave, because you’re possessed with the ideal,
And, to scale the loftiest heights was among your great ideas.
I know, you cannot stay,
But I will have you retained
In my mind…

Lustrous eyes

You were always going towards me,
Notwithstanding various omens and signs.
You were always courageous and flittered like a bird,
Eloping from love, playing hide-and-seek, so, you were not mine.
You held out a hand and called.
When flustering, you clenched your fists,
But I didn’t understand: what was the reason of our being cold?
And why do we have something missed?..
What is next?
It’s easy to be carried away by feelings…
So you left first, without any lies.
I could not forget your lustrous eyes.
And you?

Nostalgia

Do you not want to come back to those times?
Or lock the door?
There are shadows eloping from the erstwhile love,
And when you draw the curtains, they are not concealed anymore.
It was said that diverse destinies and viewpoints
Assured each other as strongly as they could,
But I am sad because I think of you.
We’re tired of haste and stereotypes.
We looked for the reasons and methods of feeling the life.
We had the outcomes valued and we were finding the answers,
So we were lost in the nets made for others.

Barefoot

I would like to hate you,
Feel furious, but I can’t.
I watch the light coming from your windows.
I believe in that.
I make precious every period of time,
And, inside me, I want to have another girl, rather than mine.
That girl would dream and live, not for you.
But my heart tells me that it’s madness
That I cannot live without you.
I want to solve every problem without any sadness,
But with affectivity, and not cold.
I want to feel the moonlight freeze,
To go barefoot on the snow breeze,
And wait for the flowers to burst into blossom in my soul.

I could…

I could be waiting for you in your garden,
Like a beautiful lily-white rose.
I could let you warm me in the frost,
For me to envelope you in the odor, for all things to happen.
I could at least feel the mood,
Dropping my petals in the likelihood
Of sadness. All unsaid
Was spearing, with the thorns, my head
And memory.
I could show all my tenderness,
Dancing with the wind under the sunlight.
When you have all the roots torn, only you are concerned.
You’re allowed to be beside, but you might
Be destroyed.

To risk

The fate has no reason to bring strangers together,
But stars do everything to light the way for people,
Those, who want to love each other.
So they can sigh with relief
Warm their palms,
And make their hearts
Beat faster.
The person that cannot hurt you in any way,
Nor writes a fairy-tale or a play.
For those, the fate does not erect hurdles:
For them, it builds the bridge which has no curdles.
Never.
Sometimes, for love you must be brave
In order to take risks to be saved.

Abreast, in your eyes

The flowers in my garden are fading
Without any sunlight, and maybe, without you.
So, please, light a candle with your smile,
And you will hear me reading, for a while,
Some prayers.
There will be a cold whirl
Induced by our eyes crossing.
But I don’t hear my name coming from your lips,
So I consider you don’t love me.
Sometimes, your love lends me wings,
But, at the same time, it gives me a lot of tossing.
In the cold, my soft tears harden,
And they do not intend to fall down from my eyelashes.
Please, continue watching in my lucid eyes
And lull me with your whisper dashes.
Appear in my dreams
So that you could heal my heart
With some tenderness, as it seems
To me.

I’m in the city

I’m in the city, where no one can sleep
And everybody lives in fear.
They close their eyes, as their life is steep,
Having the problems of others steered.
I’m in the city, where the steady beat
Livens up the dead and knocks down your feet.
The only thing to save you is your headphones
Which immerse you into the world
Created only for you: no relatives and strangers.
I’m in the city of short meetings, without any dangers,
And long letters just for everyone.
For one person, you are the entire world,
But for another – just a common bird.

Like Karenina

Players with unusual fates,
The hearts are a good suit.
He was the king of spades, dark and mysterious.

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