Paine Albert Bigelow The Autobiography of a Monkey
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Part Third THE BUTTERFLY WHIRL
It was then for the triumphs of conquest! Oh, then for the life of the swell! I dwelt like a lord with my patron In a suite of a gilded hotel.
And we went out to plays and to dinners — On the ladies he took me to call — And once we received invitations To a beautiful fancy-dress ball.
'Twas a famous affair and it won me, With its titter and tinsel and tune, For it carried me back to the jungle And the monkey-dance under the moon.
Then I mingled with other diversions. I learned how to paint and to ride; I cut a great figure at polo — The science of golfing I tried.
As a wheelman I soon became famous And made a great score on the track — I was known as the king of the scorchers, With the typical bicycle back.
Then a girl who was youthful and silly Made love to me just for a lark, And came with an elegant turnout And took me to drive in the park.
And I took her out boating next morning, For the face of my charmer was fair; It carried me back to the jungle — To the flow'rs that were blossoming there.
But soon, in the midst of my pleasure, In the glow of a roseate dream, The boat struck a rock and tipped over And tumbled us both in the stream.
Then, ho, for the skill of the jungle! The deftness of foot and of hand! For I hung from a limb and I saved her And drew her at last to the strand.
And then to her home I went proudly To claim the fair maid for my own, But her father demanded a title, And hardened his heart like a stone.