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Lang Andrew
The Nursery Rhyme Book
VI. Riddles and Paradoxes
I WENT to the wood and got it;
I sat me down and looked at it;
The more I looked at it the less I liked it;
And I brought it home because I couldn't help it.
[A thorn.
HICK-A-MORE, Hack-a-more,
On the king's kitchen door;
All the king's horses,
And all the king's men,
Couldn't drive Hick-a-more, Hack-a-more,
Off the king's kitchen door!
[Sunshine.
AS soft as silk, as white as milk,
As bitter as gall, a thick wall,
And a green coat covers me all.
[A walnut.
LONG legs, crooked thighs,
Little head, and no eyes.
[Pair of tongs.
ARTHUR O'BOWER has broken his band,
He comes roaring up the land; —
The King of Scots, with all his power,
Cannot turn Arthur of the Bower!
[A storm of wind.
THERE was a king met a king
In a narrow lane;
Says this king to that king,
"Where have you been?"
"Oh! I've been a hunting
With my dog and my doe."
"Pray lend him to me,
That I may do so."
"There's the dog take the dog."
"What's the dog's name?"
"I've told you already."
"Pray tell me again."
IN marble walls as white as milk,
Lined with a skin as soft as silk;
Within a fountain crystal clear,
A golden apple doth appear.
No doors there are to this stronghold.
Yet things break in and steal the gold.
[An egg.
FLOUR of England, fruit of Spain,
Met together in a shower of rain;
Put in a bag tied round with a string,
If you'll tell me this riddle, I'll give you a ring.
[A plum-pudding.
I HAVE a little sister, they call her Peep, Peep;
She wades the waters deep, deep, deep;
She climbs the mountains high, high, high;
Poor little creature she has but one eye.
[A star.
HIGGLEDY piggledy
Here we lie,
Pick'd and pluck'd,
And put in a pie.
My first is snapping, snarling, growling,
My second's industrious, romping, and prowling.
Higgledy piggledy
Here we lie,
Pick'd and pluck'd,
And put in a pie.
[Currants.
HUMPTY DUMPTY sate on a wall;
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
Three score men and three score more
Cannot place Humpty Dumpty as he was before.
[An egg.
THIRTY white horses upon a red hill,
Now they tramp, now they champ, now they stand still.
[Teeth and gums.
THOMAS A TATTAMUS took two T's,
To tie two tups to two tall trees,
To frighten the terrible Thomas a Tattamus!
Tell me how many T's there are in all that.
OLD mother Twitchett had but one eye,
And a long tail which she let fly;
And every time she went over a gap,
She left a bit of her tail in a trap.
[A needle and thread.
LITTLE Nancy Etticoat
In a white petticoat,
And a red rose.
The longer she stands
The shorter she grows.
[A candle.
BLACK we are but much admired;
Men seek for us till they are tired.
We tire the horse, but comfort man;
Tell me this riddle if you can.
[Coals.
THERE were three sisters in a hall;
There came a knight amongst them all:
Good morrow, aunt, to the one;
Good morrow, aunt, to the other;
Good morrow, gentlewoman, to the third;
If you were my aunt,
As the other two be,
I would say good morrow,
Then, aunts, all three.
FORMED long ago, yet made to-day,
Employed while others sleep;
What few would like to give away,
Nor any wish to keep.
[A Bed.
AS I was going to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives;
Every wife had seven sacks,
Every sack had seven cats,
Every cat had seven kits:
Kits, cats, sacks, and wives.
How many were there going to St. Ives?
AS I went through the garden gap,
Who should I meet but Dick Red-cap!
A stick in his hand, a stone in his throat,
If you'll tell me this riddle, I'll give you a groat.
[A cherry.
AS I was going o'er Westminster bridge,
I met with a Westminster scholar;
He pulled off his cap, an' drew off his glove,
And wished me a very good morrow.
What is his name?
TWO legs sat upon three legs,
With one leg in his lap;
In comes four legs,
And runs away with one leg.
Up jumps two legs,
Catches up three legs,
Throws it after four legs,
And makes him bring back one leg.
[One leg is a leg of mutton; two legs, a man; three legs, a stool; four legs, a dog.
ELIZABETH, Elspeth, Betsy, and Bess,
They all went together to seek a bird's nest.
They found a bird's nest with five eggs in,
They all took one, and left four in.
THERE was a man of Thessaly,
And he was wond'rous wise;
He jump'd into a quickset hedge,
And scratch'd out both his eyes.
But when he saw his eyes were out,
With all his might and main
He jump'd into another hedge,
And scratch'd 'em in again.
I WOULD if I cou'd,
If I cou'dn't, how cou'd I?
I cou'dn't, without I cou'd, cou'd I?
Cou'd you, without you cou'd, cou'd ye?
Cou'd ye, cou'd ye?
Cou'd you, without you cou'd, cou'd ye?
THREE children sliding on the ice
Upon a summer's day,
As it fell out, they all fell in,
The rest they ran away.
Now had these children been at home,
Or sliding on dry ground,
Ten thousand pounds to one penny
They had not all been drown'd.
You parents all that children have,
And you that have got none,
If you would have them safe abroad,
Pray keep them safe at home.
IF all the world was apple-pie,
And all the sea was ink,
And all the trees were bread and cheese,
What should we have for drink?
PETER WHITE will ne'er go right.
Would you know the reason why?
He follows his nose where'er he goes,
And that stands all awry.
THERE was a little Guinea-pig,
Who, being little, was not big;
He always walked upon his feet,
And never fasted when he eat.
When from a place he ran away,
He never at that place did stay;
And while he ran, as I am told,
He ne'er stood still for young or old.
He often squeak'd and sometimes vi'lent,
And when he squeak'd he ne'er was silent;
Though ne'er instructed by a cat,
He knew a mouse was not a rat.
One day, as I am certified,
He took a whim and fairly died;
And, as I'm told by men of sense,
He never has been living since.
THE man in the wilderness asked me
How many strawberries grew in the sea.
I answered him as I thought good,
As many as red herrings grew in the wood.
MY true love lives far from me,
Perrie, Merrie, Dixie, Dominie.
Many a rich present he sends to me,
Petrum, Partrum, Paradise, Temporie,
Perrie, Merrie, Dixie, Dominie.
He sent me a goose without a bone;
He sent me a cherry without a stone.
Petrum, &c.
He sent me a Bible no man could read;
He sent me a blanket without a thread.
Petrum, &c.
How could there be a goose without a bone?
How could there be a cherry without a stone?
Petrum, &c.
How could there be a Bible no man could read?
How could there be a blanket without a thread?
Petrum, &c.
When the goose is in the egg-shell, there is no bone;
When the cherry is in the blossom, there is no stone.
Petrum, &c.
When the Bible is in the press no man it can read;
When the wool is on the sheep's back, there is no thread.
Petrum, &c.
I SAW a ship a-sailing,
A-sailing on the sea;
And, oh! it was all laden
With pretty things for thee!
There were comfits in the cabin,
And apples in the hold
The sails were made of silk,
And the masts were made of gold.
The four-and-twenty sailors
That stood between the decks,
Were four-and-twenty white mice
With chains about their necks.
The captain was a duck,
With a packet on his back;
And when the ship began to move,
The captain said, "Quack! quack!"
HERE am I, little jumping Joan.
When nobody's with me,
I'm always alone.
O THAT I was where I would be,
Then would I be where I am not!
But where I am there I must be,
And where I would be I cannot.
TOBACCO reek! tobacco reek!
When you're well, 'twill make you sick.
Tobacco reek! tobacco reek!
'Twill make you well when you are sick.
THERE was an old woman, and what do you think?
She lived upon nothing but victuals and drink:
Victuals and drink were the chief of her diet;
This tiresome old woman could never be quiet.
[Mind your punctuation.]
I SAW a peacock with a fiery tail,
I saw a blazing comet drop down hail,
I saw a cloud wrapped with ivy round,
I saw an oak creep upon the ground,
I saw a pismire swallow up a whale,
I saw the sea brimful of ale,
I saw a Venice glass full fifteen feet deep,
I saw a well full of men's tears that weep,
I saw red eyes all of a flaming fire,
I saw a house bigger than the moon and higher,
I saw the sun at twelve o'clock at night,
I saw the man that saw this wondrous sight.
THERE was a man and he was mad,
And he jump'd into a pea-swad;3
The pea-swad was over-full,
So he jump'd into a roaring bull;
The roaring bull was over-fat,
So he jump'd into a gentleman's hat;
The gentleman's hat was over-fine,
So he jump'd into a bottle of wine;
The bottle of wine was over-dear,
So he jump'd into a bottle of beer;
The bottle of beer was over-thick,
So he jump'd into a club-stick;
The club-stick was over-narrow,
So he jump'd into a wheel-barrow;
The wheel-barrow began to crack,
So he jump'd on to a hay-stack;
The hay-stack began to blaze,
So he did nothing but cough and sneeze!
VII. Charms and Lullabies
CUSHY cow bonny, let down thy milk,
And I will give thee a gown of silk;
A gown of silk and a silver tee,
If thou wilt let down thy milk to me.
If you love me, pop and fly;
If you hate me, lie and die.
[Said to pips placed in the fire; a species of divination practised by children.
PETER PIPER picked a peck of pickled pepper;
A peck of pickled pepper Peter Piper picked;
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper,
Where's the peck of pickled pepper Peter Piper picked?
MATTHEW, Mark, Luke, and John,
Guard the bed that I lay on!
Four corners to my bed,
Four angels round my head;
One to watch, one to pray,
And two to bear my soul away!
COME, butter, come,
Come, butter, come!
Peter stands at the gate,
Waiting for a butter'd cake;
Come, butter, come!
BYE, baby bunting,
Daddy's gone a hunting,
To get a little hare's skin
To wrap a baby bunting in.
HUSHY baby, my doll, I pray you don't cry,
And I'll give you some bread and some milk by-and-by;
Or perhaps you like custard, or maybe a tart, —
Then to either you're welcome, with all my whole heart.
DANCE to your daddy,
My little babby;
Dance to your daddy,
My little lamb.
You shall have a fishy,
In a little dishy;
You shall have a fishy
When the boat comes in.
HUSH-A-BYE, baby, on the tree top;
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock;
When the bough bends, the cradle will fall;
Down will come baby, bough, cradle, and all.
RABBIT, rabbit, rabbit-pie!
Come, my ladies, come and buy,
Else your babies they will cry.
HEY, my kitten, my kitten,
And hey, my kitten, my deary!
Such a sweet pet as this
Was neither far nor neary.
Here we go up, up, up,
And here we go down, down, downy;
And here we go backwards and forwards,
And here we go round, round, roundy.
YOUNG lambs to sell!
Young lambs to sell!
If I'd as much money as I can tell,
I never would cry, Young lambs to sell!
Rock-a-bye, baby, thy cradle is green;
Father's a nobleman, mother's a queen;
And Betty's a lady, and wears a gold ring;
And Johnny's a drummer, and drums for the king.
To market, to market,
To buy a plum bun;
Home again, come again,
Market is done.
Hickup, hickup, go away!
Come again another day;
Hickup, hickup, when I bake,
I'll give to you a butter-cake.
Hickup, snicup,
Rise up, right up,
Three drops in the cup
Are good for the hiccup.
Swan swam over the sea —
Swim, swan, swim,
Swan swam back again,
Well swam swan.
VIII. Gaffers and Gammers
THERE was an old woman
Lived under a hill,
And if she's not gone
She lives there still.
THERE was an old woman, as I've heard tell,
She went to market her eggs for to sell;
She went to market all on a market-day,
And she fell asleep on the king's highway.
There came by a pedlar whose name was Stout;
He cut her petticoats all round about;
He cut her petticoats up to the knees,
Which made the old woman to shiver and freeze.
When this little woman first did wake,
She began to shiver and she began to shake;
She began to wonder and she began to cry,
"Oh! deary, deary me, this is none of I!
"But if it be I, as I do hope it be,
I've a little dog at home, and he'll know me;
If it be I, he'll wag his little tail,
And if it be not I, he'll loudly bark and wail."
Home went the little woman all in the dark;
Up got the little dog, and he began to bark;
He began to bark, so she began to cry,
"Oh! deary, deary me, this is none of I!"
"OLD woman, old woman, shall we go a shearing?"
"Speak a little louder, sir, I am very thick of hearing."
"Old woman, old woman, shall I love you dearly?"
"Thank you, kind sir, I hear you very clearly."
THERE was an old woman toss'd up in a basket
Nineteen times as high as the moon;
Where she was going I couldn't but ask it,
For in her hand she carried a broom.
"Old woman, old woman, old woman," quoth I,
"O whither, O whither, O whither, so high?"
"To brush the cobwebs off the sky!"
"Shall I go with thee?" "Ay, by-and-by."
A LITTLE old man and I fell out;
"How shall we bring this matter about?"
"Bring it about as well as you can;
Get you gone, you little old man!"
THERE was an old woman of Leeds
Who spent all her time in good deeds;
She worked for the poor
Till her fingers were sore,
This pious old woman of Leeds!
THERE was an old woman
Lived under a hill;
She put a mouse in a bag,
And sent it to mill.
The miller declar'd
By the point of his knife,
He never took toll
Of a mouse in his life.
THERE was an old woman who lived in a shoe;
She had so many children she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
She whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.
THERE was an old woman had three sons,
Jerry, and James, and John:
Jerry was hung, James was drowned,
John was lost and never was found,
And there was an end of the three sons,
Jerry, and James, and John!
THERE was an old man of Tobago,
Who lived on rice, gruel, and sago,
Till, much to his bliss,
His physician said this —
"To a leg, sir, of mutton you may go."
THERE was an old woman of Norwich,
Who lived upon nothing but porridge;
Parading the town,
She turned cloak into gown,
This thrifty old woman of Norwich.
THERE was an old woman called Nothing-at-all,
Who rejoiced in a dwelling exceedingly small;
A man stretched his mouth to its utmost extent,
And down at one gulp house and old woman went.
THERE was an old man,
And he had a calf,
And that's half;
He took him out of the stall,
And put him on the wall;
And that's all.
OLD Betty Blue
Lost a holiday shoe,
What can old Betty do?
Give her another
To match the other,
And then she may swagger in two.
OLD Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone;
But when she came there
The cupboard was bare,
And so the poor dog had none.
She went to the baker's
To buy him some bread,
But when she came back
The poor dog was dead.
She went to the joiner's
To buy him a coffin,
But when she came back
The poor dog was laughing.
She took a clean dish
To get him some tripe,
But when she came back
He was smoking his pipe.
She went to the fishmonger's
To buy him some fish,
And when she came back
He was licking the dish.
She went to the ale-house
To get him some beer,
But when she came back
The dog sat in a chair.
She went to the tavern
For white wine and red,
But when she came back
The dog stood on his head.
She went to the hatter's
To buy him a hat,
But when she came back
He was feeding the cat.
She went to the barber's
To buy him a wig,
But when she came back
He was dancing a jig.
She went to the fruiterer's
To buy him some fruit,
But when she came back
He was playing the flute.
She went to the tailor's
To buy him a coat,
But when she came back
He was riding a goat.
She went to the cobbler's
To buy him some shoes,
But when she came back
He was reading the news.
She went to the sempstress
To buy him some linen,
But when she came back
The dog was spinning.
She went to the hosier's
To buy him some hose,
But when she came back
He was dress'd in his clothes.
The dame made a curtsey,
The dog made a bow;
The dame said, "Your servant,"
The dog said, "Bow, wow."
3. The pod or shell of a pea.
