Ki Su Moon
SALVATION ON THE EDGE OF THE ABYSS
My biography
My name is Moon Ki Su-Korean name, but I also have a Russian name – Peter. This name was given to me for two reasons: to make it convenient for teachers to call my name during the school years, the second – in honor of the Great Russian Tsar, Peter the Great who was the reformer of new Russia. .
According to my mother, when I was born, unlike other children, I was overweight, and my face was chubby compared to my siblings, and weighed over four kg. Whenever my mother feeds me I never get satisfied from her breastfeed. She always has to give me cow's milk over breastfeed.
At the first stage of feeding, she could not understand why I was constantly crying. At first, she thought that I was probably sick, and then later she realized that I was not eating my fill. Although all my siblings had enough breast milk, I was the only one who was happy with breast milk.
When the neighbors found out that I was born, everyone who could make it came to our house to take a look at me. Looking at me, everyone said in unison that a hero was born in this house. They also said that I would be different from other children in something. Traditionally it was believed that when a child is born, then all the neighbors are to come to take a look at the newborn by predicting the baby's future. They even noticed the way I played differently from other babies.
In this respect, the neighbors were right when they said I would be any different. Unlike other brothers, and there were four of us in the family. All the brothers disturbed parents, and I was the only one who practically did not cause much trouble.
On the contrary, I was weak hearted, I would always try to please them, and did everything I had been told. In addition, ever since I was a child I could not bear to see peers hurting the weak. At least I loved breaking a fight apart. I have always been trying to take care of the weak. If I someone get hurt, I had to feel bad about it. So I never get fight first, I would rather wait until I get hit me in the face. It seems God did not do me any favors in my conscience. Some people told me that I was born with two helpings of brain but only half a helping heart. Even during my student life in Siberia there had been many occasions when I have had to feel remorse. Although I did not get into a fight first, I am always the one paying the price. I had to feel guilty. When I lived in a student’s dorm next to academic building, I could always defend myself.
The majority of these newcomers were from the Altai regions. They have always been there for each other. They look out for each other.
That day when the incident happened they were prowling the dormitory to molest girls who try to avoid them.
For the first time in my life, I felt a pang of conscience, but there was no other way out.
There were cases when conflicts took place between them and me over nothing, after which I have had to intervene to prevent bloodshed in the dorm. Since I was the eldest of all students living in the dorm, the deputy appointed me to be a senior to maintain order and discipline. Otherwise students would get disgustingly drunk to mess around.
Once in our dorm during a disco, a fight almost broke out being caused by drunken students. I told them not to molest girls like that. Knowing that I was alone, they pounced on me to intimidate me. I had no choice but to use force. All I needed to do is defend myself. There were three guys; two of them were taller than me by a head, and larger in build. I could not to see them getting me down in front of the crowd. They had been trying to humiliate me. I kind of just stood there in stunned in silence, as they had been rude to me. Then I could not endure the behavior of those men and I was the first to strike, I knew beforehand, if I didn’t strike first, they would have trampled me under their feet. I had keen a sense of self preservation. As a result, one of them, who was the tallest, found himself on the floor with broken lips and blood all over the floor. He was lying on the floor in a pool of blood holding himself. At the sight of blood, I was scared beyond imagining. And what if he needed stitches on his lips and surgery. At the thought of being responsible for violence, I was seized by the dreadful fear that I would be arrested. I felt bad about it. This mental pain continued until he forgave me completely. Although it was not my fault to start a conflict, I had to suffer a lot and become a victim of the conflict. It was the worst night I had ever spent in my life. I could not sleep all night through
Since the incident happened before the weekend, one of the students who became a victim of my temper went home for the weekend in his home. While he was absent, I was in a bad place, personally. For almost two days in a row, I could not find a peace within myself. I was tormented under the fire of conscience because I had injured him. Most of all, I was afraid that the judiciary would be involved in this case, and then I would just be upended.
To be honest, I was so tired of the justice system back in Sakhalin, and I don't want to get involved here too. I don’t want bothered by them even far from Sakhalin. I had had enough there. As soon as I found out that he had returned from home, I immediately ran into his room and fell on my knees and began to ask for an apology. I know it was a sense of degradation but no other way around. It's better than under the pang of conscience. Upon seeing that I was seriously repenting of my misdemeanor, he forgave me. After that, my soul felt better, and my heart instantly calmed down with forgiveness. After this incident, I swore that this will not happen again. Actually, I have been trying to restrain aggression and the use of my fist. However, after I was sent to work in Khabarovsk after graduation, a similar incident occurred again in the hostel. I will not describe what happened. I think you can guess it yourself.
This is the kind of person I am by nature, easily vulnerable to justice, and weak-willed, but quickly restored to be forgiven. Sometimes, I hate myself because of such a bad temper. It seems that outwardly a man, but inwardly does not look like a man. I don’t know why I am so like that. Who do I look after?. There is no one like me in the family to be sensitive and easily vulnerable. It’s may be because I was born in a deep forest. I am the only one in our family who was born in the forest, in the outback of the village of Sovetskoye, and moreover, at home. And all my other brothers and sister were born in good conditions, of course, not all in the maternity hospital, but some at home, but in good surroundings. Let's say I was born in the forest, generally speaking, I should be rude and strong-willed, but it turns out the opposite. According to my mother, when she started having labor, there was no one at home to help her with the birth. As we lived far from the village, especially there were no telephones or a hospital nearby. Therefore she has had to give birth to me alone, without anyone's help. When my father came home after the daily work was done to find a surprise that God had prepared for him. It was so as had been expected my mother was holding me in her arms and feeding. He was simply shocked by what he saw. What happened was when my father left for work, I was not in the world, but when he came home from work, I was already in my mother's hands. If anyone were in the father's place, he would also be shocked.
So whenever anybody asks me
where were you born? I would smile and say in the forest. It's my homeland and my friends are wild animals. That's what a fate brought me as a surprise to this world, everyone says so. Back then I did not understand anything what fate was, and mechanically believed in it. Being a godless, I readily agreed with their statement. However, after I learned the truth and the intervention of God in my life, I began to reject the destiny. This is not the fate, but the providence of God. It turns out God had a special plan for my life to be used as a special vessel.
After some time, a strong flood occurred in the forest due to torrential rains and floods. After the flood, nothing was left of the house, everything was carried away or washed away by the flood. Soon after the flood, we moved to another place what is now called Dolinsk. It is a small town with a population of 20,000 not far from the sea. It is geographically located in the southern part of the Sakhalin Island, about 42 km away from the capital of the Sakhalin Island.
The city in which I lived and spent all my childhood, and received secondary education, is called Dolinsk. The city is named Dolinsk, because it is located in the valley itself. It is surrounded by rainforest, small hills, similar to that of mountains. It turns out I lived and grew up being surrounded by this strikingly beautiful nature. We lived in our own house and we had a huge vegetable garden. We grew everything there. There was a little river behind the garden. The river was rich with fish of various kinds, from large to small. It was nice for fishing in summer.
In summer, when it is hot, we used to make a pool out of it There we would swim and fish at the same time. The temporary made pool is easily destroyed by torrential rains and high water.
At the end of the road not far from our house, about 100 yards away, a rainforest starts. Forests are rich in mushrooms and berries of various kinds while in the rivers there are many different species of fish. There are raspberries, wild strawberries, lingo berry found between late spring season, and fall season. There are early and late blueberries are about the same size as small grapes.
In short, when I recall those sweet moments spending in the forest, my mouth is watering now. I feel like eating large and sour blueberries after which your mouth gets red -blue.
Living in such a rich environment, God-given nature, I was not thankful and did not notice this beauty simply because I had been blind to nature, and to God. However after the blindness of unbelief had been taken away, I was able to see all the beauty of the reality of God's creation as it is. This phenomenon in the Bible is called born again or born of God.
In addition, not far from our city there is the Sea of Okhotsk, It is located 12 km away from our city in the village of Starodubskoye. It stretches so beautifully along the railway on the southern coast, all the way to the city of Poronaysk. I remember this from childhood, because in the summer I would often go to my grandmother by train. As a child, my brother and I would often go to the sea. We could sit for hours on rocks by collecting crabs and shellfish, and admire the beauty of nature. Back then I did not understand what beauty is. We just loved to sit on the rocks by the sea to watch people fish. It was also interesting for us to watch the fishermen unloading fish on the ground. They loaded the fish onto trucks, and the rest of catch they threw away on the ground . My brother and I took home everything that was left abandoned on the ground. The funniest thing is that we would go there on foot, because we could not afford to go there by bus. It was especially interesting to go there barefoot after rain, along the only dry road from the burning sun. After raining, the road becomes soft and pleasant to the feet, so my brother and I loved to go there.
As far as I remember, our family was a gourmet in marine delicacies, without which our dinner table was indispensable. Our family was not well -off, but we were happy. Almost every day we would be happy if a bowl of rice was served on the table with greens. Then the country's economy was at the stage of a transitional period because of the patriotic war. Since 1945 there have been an economic depression throughout the country. Many trophies and remaining war weapons had been found in the forest. Now as I am writing a book I recall the episodes of the past that brings me the most pleasant memories of that time. Although many years have passed since then, and they seem forgotten, in fact, they remain hidden in my subconscious.
When I was there, I did not value anything, neither the sea, nor the forest. It would be nice if I could turn back time with a time machine that has never been invented. I never thought before that I would miss my native land with age.
To some extent, I agree with the old people who had predicted about my future. I have had to live and work under harsh conditions, among former prisoners (those who have been released due to good behavior on parol) in order to pay back my education. Life had been harsh on me when I was sent to work in the northern part of Sakhalin. In winter there is extremely cold the temperature gets down 40 degrees below zero. In order to protect myself from being cold, I have had to bundle up. It is clearly understood that all the time God has taken care of me. I thought I was just a lucky but I was mistaken. They got drunk to such an extent that they could not control their emotions, and started a scuffle. I saw for the first time in my life how prisoners fight among themselves. It's scary to watch! They would hit each other with anything they can get their hands on. And how much blood I've seen, it's scary to remember. At the sight of them, my heart trembled! I felt like giving up on everything, my work, the hostel, and run away as far as my eyes could not see it. In fact, I remember one day I broke down and ran away home. but later I have got the letter from the Construction and Installation Department. It was written on the summons that if you did not work for 3 years as you should after training, the cases may be referred to court. Seeing this agenda, I have had to go back there and work out the appointed time. God has been always with me in the midst of difficulties and trouble. !
Having returned to the village of Tymovsk, I was engaged in the team to work, with a prisoner, who was considered to be boss of prison “Athos”prison. It was located on the island near the city of Poronaysk. All the prisoners were afraid of him, respect him. No one dared to pass him without bowing down low. He became my protector and shield, he constantly encouraged me: I was chubby, and everyone who saw me could not walk past me without touching my chubby cheeks. Because of my little baby fat, almost everyone called me Pet, donut, but no one called me Peter And this man also called me Pet which means cute. One day during lunchtime, we went to have a snack while sitting at the table. I was bombarded with lots of questions how I got there and so on. Then he said to me: God forbid, Pet! If anybody among our prisoners hurts you, let me know about, I will immediately deal with them. And thanks to this man, I was able to complete the appointed time. This is how God kept me everywhere! Apparently, I was considered a particularly chosen vessel to be cared of
Unlike my friends, I was the first to believe in God and lead a new life. Almost thirty years have passed, and I still continue to serve him with all my heart, wherever He leads me. He deliberately orchestrates such situations so that I would experience His miracle. Although there have been many difficulties, and valleys of tears and torment, God always watches over me. I have been through many adversities in my life due to illness. Despite the fact I have had difficulties and valleys of tears to go through God did allow all these difficulties in order to strengthen me, and bring me to the next, desired spiritual level as he did to Job.
History repeats itself
The scripture says that there is nothing new under the sun; what was, it will be: and what was done, it will be done. In other words, people will change, and everything will be repeated. With a good example I want to show all that I said is true. .For example: let’s take the Soviet Union as an example. Speaking of the Soviet Union, many people still have nostalgia for the Soviet Union, they want to return to the Soviet Union again. The People cannot forget the systems to which they were accustomed to, saying in those days we had had everything: sausage, meat, free education and medical service and so on.
As for me, the law had been harsh and difficult with regard to my past. I don't know anybody else, as for me, I don’t want any longer drawn into the past. I don’t want to live isolated and bullied from outside the world. Freedom is more valued than anything else. Once you have lost the freedom, you would be in great trouble in many ways.
After I became a Christian, I read the book of Exodus in the Bible and found something in common with the Soviet system. This book tells how God miraculously led the people of Israel out of Egypt, in which they were enslaved, where they were exploited as they could be. Moreover, the Egyptians scoffed at them, treating them like low-class people. Unable to withstand such severe torment, they howled to God for help. And God heard their moaning and cries. Then, He decided to bring the people of Israel from slavery into the Promised Land, called Canaan, where freedom and peace awaited them. In the end, when God actually brought them out of Egypt and having them gone through the Red Sea on dry ground and seeing the Egyptians that pursued them drowned in the sea. Seeing how Pharaoh's army perishes in the water, the Jews began to glorify God, His Majesty, and power. They joyfully sang praises to God that He was their protector, and the deliverer. Less than a few days after they were liberated from the bondage of slavery, finding themselves in difficulties, they all rebelled against Moses, and began to murmur against him and against God.
No sooner had they been liberated from the hands of their enemy then they started complaining to God that they happened to be in difficulties. They all rebel against God and Moses. They began to grumble at him and God, saying that in Egypt there were a lot of things – watermelon, garlic, meat, but there is nothing but manna from heaven. They stated that they want to return again to Egypt. Less than a few days after the release, finding themselves in difficulties, they all pounced on Moses, and began to murmur against him and against God. How come quickly they forgot that they were in bondage, where they were treated like low-class people.
After all, God knew that they would want to return to Egypt. He knows us better than we do ourselves. Although there were many paths leading to the land of Canaan, but God chose this path- through the Red Sea-there is no turning back. Therefore, he chose this path, don’t you think there is similarity between the people of Israel and of the Soviet Union. Prior to this, we have had abundance of food in the Soviet Union, such as meat, sausage and so on, but after the collapse of the country, there is nothing. So we have forgotten that during the times of the S. Union, there was not what we had had after its collapse – freedom of speech and free movement abroad. Freedom is a gift from God that we are freed from political dependence.
Chance for citizenship
During the period when Stalin was in power of the Soviet Union, back then the Koreans were given the chance to take USSR citizenship. A large number of Koreans took the opportunity to be naturalized as soviet citizens. However, my parents, out of special feelings of motivation, basically preferred to hold on to statelessness persons, hoping that someday they would return to their homeland. According to the parents, every day they lived with the hope that someday representatives of their country would come to take them home. As time went by, the children were born to them, but no matter how much they waited, their expectations have not been met! Although their dreams did not come true, they continued to hope for the best that someday there would be a chance to repatriate to Korea.
Then the relationship between the two countries deteriorated sharply after the passenger plane was shot down en route from the United States to Korea. More than 200 passengers have been killed in this tragedy. My parents constantly listened to the Korean news on the radio, and said that they would soon allow Koreans living on Sakhalin to repatriate to Korea. They said that the establishment of diplomatic relations between Seoul and Moscow is about to .
As time went by, the leaders of the country changed, but there was no warming in relations between the two countries. Soon after Gorbachev came to power, the Sakhalin people were allowed to move freely around the Sakhalin Island. Prior to coming a new leader to travel across the Island a permit was required from a Visa department. Along with this, finally, the long-awaited day came, which had been expected for so long. While waiting for this day, many have grown old, and some are no longer alive. Before the new leader came to power in the country, life had been very harsh on Koreans. Because of the refusal to accept citizenship, it had been difficult for my parents to move around. This problem extended to us, we inherited this problem from our parents.
. Although we lived in Soviet Union and studied in a Soviet school, we were deprived of many rights to be used. Many of the benefits did not apply to us and we could not do what other people could have done it. In a word, we lived like foreign guests. Without the permission of the passport department, it was strictly forbidden for ethnic Koreans to freely move from one place to another, it was possible only within the territory we were registered. Even when I went to the summer camp, I had to take permission of the passport department whereas other children could freely do it without it.
The law had been very harsh in relation to Koreans who did not take citizenship. And in case of violation of the passport regime, illegals were expected to be punished very severely, up to imprisonment for serving in labor camps. Because of these problems, we ethnic Koreans have had difficulty living there. There have been such cases when we moved without the permission of the passport department, hoping that everything would be ok.
Due to the strict passport regulation, we had to avoid the law enforcement agencies. I remember I was traveling by train to another place, suddenly a passport control procedures began, out of fear that I would be caught, I hid in the toilet and sat there holding my breath until the passport control procedures was over. And sometimes out of fear, because of the sudden appearance of the police on the train, I had a desire to jump off the train on the move. That’s what the matter is all about. In fact, I know many people who have served their sentences in labor camps because of the passport regime violations. To make a long story short, it is impossible to describe everything in detail what we had been through because we were regarded to be foreigners. .
`Not of their own will, but of imperialism.
Many foreigners were interested in how fate decreed that a lot of Koreans ended up on Sakhalin Island. In order to tell everything, it will take a long time. But I'll tell you as much as I know it.
Most of the young Koreans are of draft age, including my father ended up on the Sakhalin Island not by their own will, but by the will of Japanese imperialism. You are probably all aware that Korea had been under the Japanese colony for a long time. In order to carry out their treacherous plan, the Japanese authorities mobilized many young Koreans to serve in the Japanese army during World War II. In addition, many people were forcibly taken out of Korea to be used as force labor. According to the old people, I learned that they were driven into coal mines so that they would extract coal under the terrible conditions at that time. And when Japan lost the war to the Soviet Union, most of the Japanese returned to their homeland, and the Koreans have been left there to fend for themselves. The remaining Koreans hoped that they, too, someday return to their homeland. While they were waiting for that day, they had to take root there, live, have children and then raise grandchildren.
As an adult when I read the book and learned the story of my people, how the Japanese had treated them brutally. The first thought that crossed my mind was that they had committed an unforgiving sin before the Korean people. After I came to know Jesus as my savior and God who loves and forgives. With the love of Christ, I was able to forgive the Japanese for their sin and all that they had done to my nation. Actually, I realized that there are no things that cannot be forgiven. Anything can be forgiven, but it takes a time. In other words, everything has its time. Time to love, forgive, cry, etc. This is very well and clearly written in the book of Ecclesiastes. Yes, it is true; we must forgive and love, as Christ did. After all, we were all created by one God and we are all brothers and sisters because he from one nation created all the nations throughout the whole earth. It seems that we are all different;
In fact, we are all the same, only we are different in appearance.
There is no bad nation on earth, but there is sin that makes a nation proud and bad. Therefore I hold no grudge against Japan and its people. It turns out that the Japanese and Koreans were descended from the same ancestors. Frankly speaking, I have learned this truth from my Japanese historian teacher when I studied Japanese at university. Most of the people living on the Japanese islands are considered to be of Korean descents. They are just like us belong to the same blood group, which was confirmed by DNA analysis, but the Japanese were brain washed because of politics.
One day when I was returning home from seminary, I met by chance a Japanese man who was standing at a bus stop and waiting for the bus, but he did not know that buses did not run at that time due to the restriction of bus traffic.
At first, I thought he was one of us local ethnic Korean, but turns out that he was Japanese, and he looked a little upset. Then I had a strong desire to help this man, get out of this wilderness. Out of pity, I asked him if he needed help, he said he was waiting for the bus. I knew that the buses were no longer running after 4 p.m. Then I decided to have a conversation with him, it turned out that he was Japanese. To be honest, I had never met Japanese so close in Sakhalin before, because the island was closed to foreigners.
He spoke English with a Japanese accent. Having learned that he was Japanese I had compassion, besides had no grudge against them, I decided to give him a lift to Dolinsk. Because of this, I arrived home late, for which my wife was greatly offended by me all day. However, I was so happy that I was able to help that man get to the next city where traffic was available. Upon returning home, I was so happy that I was able to help the Japanese solve the problem of transportation. This did not happen by accident, but God gave me a chance to exercise my faith. Faith should be shown not in words, but in deeds.
After I dropped him off, he said that he would just want to talk to me. Then he gave me his contact phone number, and with a smile said: give me a call if you are in town. It was a good opportunity for me to practice my English. At that time, I was already fluent in English, but not as good as it should. In addition, he asked me to call him in case I was around his area. This was the first time I have practiced my English especially with a foreigner. Before we parted with each other I shared my testimony what made me believe in Jesus and how my life had been transformed into an image that God wants me to be. It was not easy to start a conversation about God; he was a completely unknown person to me, who may not be interested in this topic.
While I was driving him, all the way I thought about how I could start a conversation with him about God. Hearing my testimony, he was deeply moved and eventually accepted Jesus. He was the first Japanese to accept Jesus into his heart as Lord and Savior. After that, we met more than once in the city when I went to study seminary. Once he invited me to his apartment, and treated me well with different kinds of foods. By the time I got to his place the table was pretty packed anyway. There was a different kind of food that I was not familiar with. And then after a while, he flew home. After that the line went dead. …
Through the love of Christ, I've learned to forgive and bless people even if they don't deserve it. I am very grateful to God that I can forgive and love and experience the abundance of God's love, which I do not deserve. This is simply the grace of God manifested through the death of Jesus Christ on the cross. The love of God is poured out on me regardless of whether I want to or not. This is nothing other than the promise of God given to our spiritual progenitor Abraham. God forgave my sins, and in confirmation of this, he gave me peace and joy. How can we not forgive those people who have wronged us like He can. Jesus still forgives and is ready to accept anyone who repents of their sins.