Илай Колесников
Earlyborn
Chapter 11
Our characters got their map. It was not the map which inveterate tourists, who lost in Norway mountains, had. This map was different. It looked as a drawing made by the carbon paper that future flat owners put the plan of their apartments on. Earlyborn and Zhenka scrupulously made their map. They started it in Earlyborn’s flat, looking at the Ursa Major and drawing its projection with a thought that this would be their route of the journey. The number of stars in this constellation was the number of stops they would make on the way to Antarctic. The first star turned Bermuda. The idea which visited the siblings, who were gazing at breaking waves, which promised them to bring a ferry, was to change the climate and settle down on the Islands of Bermuda if their parents approved of it. Yet if not on these islands, they would definitely choose other ones (the Saint Helena island or the Madeira island) as they were more happy to experience the light mood of melancholia in those places reach with yellow sand and warm sea, than here, in France, with cold white sand and a single windmill in contrast to the economic expansion of the country. Drinking mate4, which was, as Dominican coffee, sold in a shop on the corner of Earlyborn’s house, Earlyborn was dreaming so profound that was ready to sell her old and precious flat in France and change her dwelling. “Hey!” Zhenka interrupted her reflections. “Did you think about me? What will my neurons say when they realize I would never gratify them with sceneries of the Eiffel Tower from behind the window?” To which Earlyborn said, “Don’t worry, my darling friend, you will please them with views of the sea, tickle them, swim away from new (my note: how else can we translate “очередной; ещё один”) shark, or from a suddenly resurfaced plane with a wish to devour you.”
Thus, with talks and jokes, throwing some pebble stones into the depth of the world ocean, then swimming after them for a bet, or, on the contrary, discouraging each other from messing around aimed at getting money (for money is not omnipotent) they saw a ferry to Bermuda. The jetty was not right there—maybe some five kilometres from the place our characters were sitting. They started pushing the car from a sandy captivity by turn, in which it somehow managed to get, than they were answering frontier guard’s questions for quite a time, so that they almost missed the boarding on a ship. They were last, as it is usually shown in good Hollywood films, where the car gathers speed and, nearly flying, drives in the closing parking zone. Neither Earlyborn, nor Zhenka had not experience so strong and bright emotions since their childhood in Irkutsk. This problem appears in our life as a lonely palm may happen in pine forest of curious problems. Why, when we were children, did we have clear plans for the adulthood which, say, would be tomorrow: we would be astronauts, police officers or firefighters? Being kids, we could play in the playground with Kolka from the neighboring and Mashenka – a mysterious unknown girl from the park. Why do we forget about this all when we become older? Why do we let politics, disputations and quarrels in our minds? Perhaps, the truth is not that children are naive and silly, but, conversely, when we become older, we start thinking cynically and with prejudice against everything? You say that lessons of life should be blamed for that. Of course, they influence us: it is unconceivable to be happy when we buried more than ten people and changed many jobs! But the thing is in our attitude towards these issues. If a person dies, a child mourns and weeps, but soon gets back to normal and goes to build sand castles in a sandpit. He gets back to normal. Yet people for some reason suppose we must change our lives and break our habits at times when the bad occurs to us: the more misfortunes we face with, the more profound alterations we ought to bring into our lives. In fact, we ought not. ) These are just wrong made up beliefs.
Earlyborn and Zhenka sat on the deck of a ferry, sailing towards uncertainty. It is not often when we have a chance to change our place of residence. The sea of life will forever be rough, and our dream about the eternal happiness is impossible. We should cope with winds, accept that we cannot multitask with everything, and we need to take for granted that our little joys may well fade away at any minute.
***
They drank cold coffee glace, looking at waves which reflected the past that left on the land. Probably, Cro-Magnon men looked at monkeys this way before they began their evolution. Cars on a special deck got those sea features which any car gains after a fresh shower of splashes. The new Range Rover seemed beautiful standing in the sunbeams and sea spatters. Zhenka went on a panorama deck. He stood, gazing at not yet setting piece of the sun. Zhenka had a habit: in army, he did not smoke when his colleagues did—he went jogging among fascinating sightseeing of Irkutsk. For nicotine is a drug. So now Zhenka chose a place far from those who smoked. Zhenka grew up and once he stopped jogging. He started running with his eyes. He trained the sharpness of sight. He had a nickname “Hawk” and shot a rifle better than others in army. Zhenka saw the sunset going to bed and sang it a lullaby. The dusk put on the blanket, tilted from one side to another and was thankful to Zhenka. One sailor approached to our character. As appeared later, he was a captain of the ferry. He lighted a cigarette as the people around. Actually, people enjoy being in herds. I came to this idea when realized why people yawn. If someone decided to play harmonica in breaks of a workday in the day, people would not smoke now instead. The sailor lighted a cigarette.
“Nice weather, guy. Methinks, we will arrive with no adventures.”
Zhenka gazed at him with his sharp eyes, which the sailor, unlike others, was not familiar with. It was not that Zhenka did not feel like wanting to talk – he thought as the one who ponders whether to have a sleep or not has and, in the end, arrives at the decision to watch a film for two more hours.
“You have a long face, my friend, and you aren’t a good actor. What’s up?”
The captain, obviously, was not used to this straightforwardness, so he choked secretly for others (since he is a captain) on tobacco. But he was a rugged sailor in the first place and told Zhenka everything as it was.
“I recently started examining the sea. Elders are said to observe the clouds this way before the death to understand whether there was paradise or it was a myth. I’m a captain and I accustomed myself that I’ll die together with my ship. And after that I started staring the sea waves. I began to notice various sea creatures more often: dolphins, sharks and crimson octopuses. They reminded me the thing I could not think of. Some surmises told me that it was a craving for art, others that it was the senile depression if not dementia. After some considerations it dawned on me that it was the wish to leave something after myself. I realized: since the time I lived in a family, which was proud of the ancestors—famous fishermen and carpenters, and was graduating high school in Costa Rica, I had always dreamed to build the underwater city. Now I’m rough and stung by my years as a man who postponed something for the summer sees as a first June wasp stings him. There is no other way round. I’m a bear at bay. It is a few seconds that prevent the dogs and hunters from killing me. But I fought a lot before have come here. I’ve learned much, and like a bear at bay does incomprehensible things, so am I dangerous for the life. I need to learn more.”
“Continue, Captain, I’m curious. At times I find myself in your words.”
And the captain continued, lighting if not the third, then the forth cigarette.
“I suppose I need to learn much. However, I found my family in my ship and crew, and the family, as it befits, always takes all free time. There are not such hours at my disposal to do sport, swim and dive in the mornings, study English to go to a highly prestigious university, write a book that I will leave for the citizens of my future town and to love my ship. I give up my plans for a hundred time, yet the time passes by, and soon I won’t make my dream of the past come true, given that I won’t look younger again. What shall I do?”
Zhenka answered after a long observing of the first night stars’ colours and the disposition of Jupiter, Saturn, Mars and diverse constellations.
“Can you see the stars? They stay idle, sprawling in the sky with the natural grace and do not do a thing except for appearing to light at night and next move homeward. However, there are so many people who are inspired to do good deeds. And here, you see, there is a Chinese lantern floating in the sky. I don’t know who flew it, but, I’m sure one did it to delight a relative. Maybe to motivate one who is like you to go toward goals. Meanwhile you will laugh precisely at this lantern, wondering at how this person could waste money on such a trifle. The same happens in life. You should not have just one goal, but invent new ones on the way you try to reach your first goal. Of course, planets I described are not as careless. Perhaps, they come in the sky to speak with stars and make them fell happier. They do a tiny deed, and, as the result, a person is excited when he can see bright Mars and writes a genius poem…”
Chapter 12
The ferry was to sail for four days and nights. Earlyborn and soon Zhenka got to the weather in that rainy January time would not stop bringing them joy with its heavy rains and storms. There was no day yet when the sun shone for the whole day, only leaving its duty to have lunch. I would like to say, by the way, that the nap after lunch has its power; I will return to that not once. As a person will never be bored gazing at the snow fallen after the first winter snow flurry, so will I again and again have an hour sleep after coming home to have lunch.
***
There is a particular justice in life which can be grasped. Now Luisian was on the road to Moscow, not caring a damn about the lost mascot, and Dionysius, in his turn, suddenly came up with the idea: “What’s the reason for me to run after this crank at the edge of the world? Let it be a lesson for his future. Hope then he will grow up and stop trusting his fate to the mascot…” I guess, my dear readers, you have a question, “Where Luisian was going?” It is even interesting for me, as we forgot about our supporting characters who are in this story beyond the main ones. And we do not the place where we left Luisian. He was a determined person and notwithstanding his a bit strange life values, he had rule to constantly excel himself. Luisian found the meaning of life in work. Exactly when the person start feeling sadness or light melancholy when you wish to strangle yourself with the beams of your dishonour, that means you should continue your doings harder until the cry full of exhaustion “I can’t!” comes out of your chest, and everything will be alright. Furthermore, a person will be contented after that.
The day we left our character was not well. He baffled himself with a question “What do I like most: the right or the left?” and began answering it until he asked himself whether it was worth thinking over. But the majority of deeds we did in the past will not repeat in the future. And this, I reckon, is pleasure. So Luisian answered he enjoyed the fact that whatever side (either the right or the left) you choose, you will accomplish your goal, and the life will made such a circle with you that you will get on the summit of a mountain by a serpentine road and will see the bottom. All of a sudden, Luisian heard a voice. “Don’t swim against the current, my friend. Without doubt, it is good when you find strengths to work when others burst into tears, but someone who will dear to heal your hurt heart will face huge problems helping you. You’d better go to the Caribbean.” The voice belonged to one seller. “Did they all agree to tell my about one and the same thing?”
It happened to Luisian not long ago, when he was the highly paid Ded Moroz in Italy, as if it was yesterday. Luisian sat on a porch in a café after one of his clients in the morning, looking at the ideal slightly golden surface of the velvet sea and heard: “A recent survey showed 100 percent of the Earth population were in favour of visiting the Caribbean sea.” But Luisian, fingering slowly his beard which became light-brown from the scalding sun, lonely sat in Italy, as an enormous octopus that gobbled the life on the planet an was looking at bare areas, and Luisian literally drink the icy Mediterranean Sea in with his cup of tea. Here Luisian met Petrupavius.
***
Petrupavius, or just Petri, and Luisian sold tables with curved patterns, sofas made of fur and diverse cloths. Petri was glad because he found a new companion to start up the business, and Luisian was glad, since he was free of boredom. The last one, as you remember, was a hard-working person and, therefore, always got satisfaction after work.
Each of them was happy. Luisian settled down, which was the wish he wanted to bring into reality. He began to live under the mansard roof of the main building in a town. Greeting dawns and feeding pigeons would be perfect there. Surprisingly, it would simply good to greet dawns. Somehow Paris pigeons disappeared somewhere this January. It looked as if they moved together with Earlyborn, who often fed them at the bottom of the Eiffel Tower early mornings. Truly when we inspires someone to wake their desire to live, we inspires them greatly in their eyes. As those planets in the sky. Luisian was alright. Yet one feeling still stayed with him and bothered his weary brains: Dionysius could not get out of his mind all the time, as if that person started dwelling in his head, he wanted to tell him something, help him or seek for Luisian’s help.
Moscow beckoned Luisian. Although he had never been to this town, he dreamed to see Moscow churches’ domes as never before; his childhood dreams about visiting Argentinian pastures were less strong than this one. He carried on living under mansard roof, greeted sunrises, and bade farewells to sunsets, reading a wonderful book about the Earth. He cherished the travel to Moscow in his mind and got used to a thought he would never see his bronze bee. This humility gladdened him, as any humility in life that is not hard for the soul or heart to endure. That is so, since humility let us realize: it is possible to live on one piece of land during the whole life without exploring other areas of the world and be happy.
Chapter 13
Life always imposes its rules and create circumstances. If once you became a collective farm chairman or a lottery winner, know you should thank life for that. Yet if there are no blessings in your life, you are helpless to improve it. Luisian seemed, on the contrary, to succeed in his business. He worked with Petri and earned the money he had never got for simple work. “How will you spend your money?” That very minute Luisian craved to live according to the Maslow’s Pyramid of Needs5. If life placed you on the top of happiness, you cannot oppose its will. You hardly ever will ponder about higher art than popular art. As Luisian started to earn more money, he looked at life differently. An adult looks with sadness at his paintings he created in childhood and at the cartoons he loved back in the days. He calls in mind his plane and realizes he cannot change a thing. Luisian bought smart suits, played chess, he even became a member of a Literature club, then of a Gentlemen one, went to the theatre on Sundays; as he had too much money, he purchased a pair of glasses: so small that you could not make out his age behind them; he looked marvelous in them as apples taste delicious when are ripe. Luisian tended not to bother about alterations happened with him, since he knew he was able to choose something only as long as life would wish it; the wealth he had could disappear as surprisingly as it appeared. Therefore, when the fish take the hook, under no circumstances must you leave this fishing spot. Luisian deemed his work as a usual thing and understood that if now when he had all which he wanted, he still thought he felt bad, he was a raw fish that could not be eaten. Luisian suffered from mental turmoil and altered his attitude to life and his psychological needs: he maximized and minimized the time given for sleeping, eating and communicating with people. You may get it if imagine your cat dressed wearing an expensive fur coat and yourself hugging your pet with passion. The cat would ran away immediately. Why? Everything should have frames. Luisian tried to forget that there is another life for so long time that one evening forgot, sitting on the porch. He was so scared that got away. Never do and never did spare money do good to anyone. Nature cannot be fooled, and Luisian was perfect, playing with his most fashionable suit jacket, so that it floated, throwing away annoying glasses and, in addition to that, taking off his shoes, which he polished just a couple of hours ago. Yep… People do not run away from wild animals like this—they usually do this to avoid themselves. More often people rush so, because were too confident in themselves and bit off more than one can chew. Luisian could not find anything more pleasant than to buy a jar of Elysees honey6, sat in the long-distance train, and he, like a child, began to pick the wallpaper patterns with his fingers. Well, any outcome in life can be deemed as outcome, which means life tells us that everything is possible, and if you want to go—go. Luisian went, unable to bear the wealth that fallen on him, bringing problems, and he became relieved. However, it does not mean you should run away any time problems attack you. No. The same is at sea. Not any wave will cause the storm. It needs serious reasons to do that. I would say, “It is always better to stay at the place than to go from it, for if you stayed, no one would blame you for betrayal. Moreover, to leave the place you need to be cautious and always explore new areas. Scouts are highly paid, although posthumously. Yet if you decided to go—go till the end. Run without a backward glance, withdraw formidable obstacles as a person who is running from a tractor chasing him on the pavement in snowstorm. Run without a backward glance; the pavement has its edge, and the tractor does not have endless portion of fuel, but you will run, as if you were the eternal engine, further and further, drawing a supposed pavement in his mind in front of you and simultaneously destroying it in front of the tractor.
However, if you do not enjoy the life as it is, try playing with it. Life always appreciated the brave ones. Life can be compared to a crazy and stern chief, whose mood can be changed any minute: he can either award you or send to a long journey to let you die there by the sword after you did one and the same thing. And you will go there. You will go as a loyal dog realizes when its master betrayed it that it surely goes towards death, yet still it goes automatically, given that the owner has never hurt his pet. Everything can happen for the first time, and Luisian should eat his jar of honey carefully. He might get diabetes this way, providing that he gave up eating sugar and meat for the last couple of years. At last, Luisian simply can satiate himself with honey that he will think he had satiated himself with life long before. Life is tricky when it comes to failures, that is why when it seems to you that there is no hope, it is not worth powdering your head with the ashes. Perhaps, life simply forgot you, and you may just kick it, and life will remember you. Probably, it will apologize. But never be crestfallen. Your spirit cannot stay permanent, so when we lower the level of our self-estimation, we act as a little boy who plucks leaves from a bush. Leaves will grow again, he knows it, but today this can spoil the mood for some time. Yet what is mood itself? This is the marker of how greatly we spoil our life. And this is the reason for the mood to be never ideally good. There is no universal truth, the snow does not fall during three hundred sixty five days in year and there is now barberry water with the taste of strawberry. There nuances and comparisons rise. Venus at times resembles the Moon so much that you look at it and wonder, “Where have I been all that time?!” But you have a nap, and the new morning comes, which means everything will return to its usual course. You should only have your own jar of honey.
***
Let it all out, my dear friend, let it all out. Luisian was going in his train. For the unknown reason train is a symbol of progress for the majority of people. We are not going to dispute with them. Without saying, Luisian moved towards his progress. His condition can be described with three words: an old oak. Have you ever walked in the alley in your favourite park near your house? Have you ever greeted the dawn on the Seine river together with pigeons and an oak copse? The oak is truly an everlasting symbol of life. Seems, especially in the oak trunk growth rings, unlike in other trees, can form the infinity sign when cut. Admittedly, oaks have their beauty. There is no copse that could have seen more sunrises and sunsets, break-ups pigeons than the old oak copse not far from the burnt Notre-Dame. Probably because it lives for a long time. Probably, people admire the oak’s power, and all curious deeds are done under its crown. Have you ever touched the coarse bark of the oak? “To coarsen as the oak’s bark” is said not in vain among people. It means something! So if you have not touched yet – touch. If only I once caressed a crocodile, I would tell I touched the oak as the sense is same. It is true, since the oak endures more than other trees, I suppose. It suffers from more wind, light, feelings, worries, velvety sand, brought with Kaliningrad wind, and knowledge. And the oak is strong. As iron wheels of a small rusty van somewhere on a small railway station in Alupka go back towards their home, they just become tempered, so the steel inside of the oak’s soul hardens too as the time passes by.
One day while the heavy rainstorm, being still in Italy, Luisian came upon an oak cope. There was a river flowing beneath. The summer night was as warm as only can be the one awaken by the heart-rending screams of thunder. Luisian went, shining with happiness after the night tryst. He was eighteen. All of a sudden the lightning stroke into a very young oak near the river, something cracked, scraped and fell into pieces, and only the wind mourned for the loss of the oak cope. Luisian did not pay his attention to it, since he was under the sweet languor of the meeting. So is the life: it may well not notice us when we are overfilled with emotions. Wise is that oak which decided to interview its brunches with its brothers ones. Wise is the nature. Let it all out, share with a first stranger or accept the fact there is no one to share it with. In this case, the nature estimated you as a strong one. The evolution carries on this way. If you water the peach tree much often, it will be the surfeit of liquid for it. If you do not pick up the ripe papaya for a long time, it will go off. However, you can get the most delicious stewed fruit especially out of slightly overripe fruit. Make your choice. Perform an experiment right now, let it all out. There must be no misery in the world.
