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Once Gone
Chapter 23
When Riley reached Quantico and walked into the Behavioral Analysis Unit, both the chief and Bill were waiting for her in Walder’s office. She realized that Bill must have been called in especially for this meeting.
Special Agent in Charge Carl Walder rose from his desk.
“The Senator’s lapdog?” Walder said, his babyish face knotted with anger.
Riley lowered her eyes. She really had gone too far with that remark.
“I’m sorry, sir,” she said.
“Sorry isn’t going to cut it, Agent Paige,” Walder said. “You’ve completely gone off the rails. What were you thinking, going to the Senator’s house to confront him like that? Do you have any idea the damage you’ve done?”
By “damage,” Riley was sure that Walder meant his own personal embarrassment. She couldn’t get very worried about that.
“Have you found Cindy McKinnon yet?” she asked in a low voice.
“No, as a matter of fact, we haven’t,” Walder said sharply. “And frankly, you’re not helping us find her.”
Riley was stung.
“I’m not helping?” she replied. “Sir, I keep telling you, you’re charging the wrong man, and you’re looking in the wrong – ”
Riley stopped herself in mid-sentence
Cindy MacKinnon was what mattered right now, not Riley’s ongoing battles with Walder. This was no time for petty squabbling. When she spoke again, it was in a milder tone.
“Sir, even though I feel he may be withholding something, I may have been wrong to unilaterally go and see the Senator without checking with you, and I apologize. But forget about me for a moment. That poor woman’s been missing for well over twenty-four hours. What if I’m right, and someone else is holding her captive? What’s she going through right now? How long has she got?”
His voice cautious, Bill added, “We’ve got to consider the possibility, sir.”
Walder sat down and said nothing for a moment. Riley could see by his expression that he, too, was concerned about the possibility. Then he spoke very slowly, giving weight to each word.
“The Bureau will handle it.”
Riley didn’t know what to say. She didn’t even quite understand what Walder meant. Was he acknowledging his possible mistake? Or was he still determined not to veer from his present course?
“Sit down, Agent Paige,” Walder said.
Riley sat in the chair next to Bill, who glanced at her with mounting concern.
Walder said, “I heard about what happened with your friend today, Riley.”
Riley was jolted a little. She wasn’t surprised that Walder knew about Marie’s death. After all, word that she’d been first on the scene was sure to make its way back to the Bureau. But why was he bringing it up now? Did she detect a note of sympathy in his voice?
“What happened?” Walder asked. “Why did she do it?”
“She couldn’t deal with it anymore,” Riley said in a whisper.
“Couldn’t deal with what?” Walder asked.
A silence fell. Riley couldn’t shape an answer to that question.
“I’ve heard you don’t think Peterson is dead,” Walder said. “I guess I can understand why you can’t shake that idea. But you’ve got to know that it doesn’t make sense.”
There came another pause.
“Did you tell your friend about it?” Walder asked. “Did you tell her about this obsessive idea of yours?”
Riley’s face flushed. She knew what was coming next.
“She was too fragile for that, Agent Paige,” Walder said. “You should have known it would make her snap. You should have used better judgment. But frankly, Agent Paige, your judgment is shot to hell. I hate to say it, but it’s true.”
He is blaming me for Marie’s death, Riley realized.
Riley was fighting back tears now. Whether they were tears of grief or indignation, she didn’t know. She had no idea what to say. Where could she begin? She hadn’t planted that idea in Marie’s head and she knew it. But how could she make Walder understand? How could she explain that Marie had her own reasons to doubt that Peterson was dead?
Bill spoke up again. “Sir, go easy on her, okay?”
“I think I’ve been going too easy on her, Agent Jeffreys,” Walder said, his voice becoming stern. “I think I’ve been too patient.”
Walder held her gaze for a long moment.
“Give me your gun and your badge, Agent Paige,” he finally said.
Riley heard Bill let out a gasp of disbelief.
“Sir, this is crazy,” Bill said. “We need her.”
But Riley didn’t need to be told twice. She rose from her chair and took out her gun and her badge. She placed them on Walder’s desk.
“You can clean out your office in your own good time,” Walder said, his voice steady and unemotional. “Meanwhile, you should go home and get some rest. And get back into therapy. You need it.”
As Riley turned to leave the room, Bill stood up as if to go with her.
“You stay, Agent Jeffreys,” Walder demanded.
Riley eyes met Bill’s. With a look, she told him not to disobey. Not this time. He nodded back to her with a stricken expression. Then Riley left the office. As she walked down the hall, she felt cold and numb, wondering what to do now.
When she stepped out into the cool night air, tears finally started to flow. But she was surprised to realize that they were tears of relief, not despair. For the first time in days, she felt liberated, free from frustrating limitations.
If nobody else was going to do what had to be done, it was still up to her. But at long last, nobody was going to tell her how to do her job. She’d find the killer, and she’d save Cindy MacKinnon – no matter what it took.
* * *
After Riley, later again, picked up April and drove home, she found as they arrived home that she couldn’t deal with fixing dinner. Marie’s face still haunted her and she felt more exhausted than she had ever been.
“It’s been a bad day,” she told April. “A terrible day. Will you settle for grilled cheese sandwiches?”
“I’m not really hungry,” April said. “Gabriela keeps me stuffed all the time.”
Riley felt a deep pang of despair. Another failure, she thought.
But then April took another look at her mother, this time with a hint of compassion.
“Grilled cheese will be good,” she said. “I’ll fix them.”
“Thank you,” Riley said. “You’re a sweetheart.”
She felt her spirits lift a little. At least there would be no conflict here at home tonight. She really needed that little break.
They had a quick and quiet supper, then April went to her room to finish homework and go to bed.
As exhausted as she was, Riley felt she had little time to waste. She went to work. She opened her laptop, pulled up a map of the victims’ locations, and printed out the section she wanted to study.
Riley slowly drew a triangle on the map. Its lines linked the three places where the victims had been found. The northernmost point marked where Margaret Geraty’s body had been dumped in farmland two years ago. A point to the west marked where Eileen Rogers had been more carefully placed near Daggett some six months back. Finally, the point to the south marked where the killer had achieved full mastery, posing Reba Frye by a stream in Mosby Park.
Riley circled the area again and again, thinking, wondering. Another woman might soon be found dead somewhere in this area – if she wasn’t dead already. There was no time to lose.
Riley hung her head. She was so tired. But a woman’s life was at stake. And it now seemed to be up to Riley to save her – without official help or sanction. She wouldn’t even have Bill to help her. But could she solve this case entirely on her own?
She had to try. She had to do it for Marie. She had to prove to Marie’s spirit – and maybe even to herself – that suicide wasn’t the only option.
Riley frowned at that triangle. It was a good guess that the victim was now being held somewhere in that area of a thousand square miles.
I’ve just got to look in the right place, she thought. But where?
She knew that she would have to condense her search area, and it wasn’t going to be easy to do. At least she was familiar with some of the general area.
The uppermost part of the triangle, the point closest to Washington, was mostly upscale, rich, and privileged. Riley was all but sure that the killer didn’t come from that kind of background. Besides, he had to be holding the victim in a place where no one could hear her scream. Forensics had found no sign of the other women’s mouths being gagged or taped. Riley drew an X through that well-to-do area.
The two southern points were both parklands. Might the killer be holding the woman in a rented hunting cabin or on a campsite?
Riley thought it over.
No, she decided. That would be too temporary.
Her every instinct told her that this man operated out of his own home – perhaps a house where he had lived all his life, where he had passed an unusually miserable childhood. He would enjoy taking his victims there. Taking them home with him.
So she crossed out the park areas. What was left was primarily farmland and small towns. Riley strongly suspected that she was looking for a farmhouse somewhere in that area.
She looked again at the map on her computer, then zoomed in closely on the area under consideration. Her heart sank at the sight of a tangle of secondary roads. If she was right, the killer lived on some old dirt farm in that maze. But there were too many roads for her to search quickly by car – and besides, the farm might not even be visible from the road.
She groaned aloud with despair. The whole thing seemed more hopeless by the moment. The terrible pain of loss and failure threatened to surge up again.
But then she said aloud, “Dolls!”
She reminded herself of the conclusion she had come to yesterday – that the killer had probably spotted all of his victims in a single store that sold dolls. Where might that store be?
She drew another smaller shape on the paper map. It lay just to the east of the large triangle, and its corners marked the places where the four women had lived. Somewhere in that area, she felt pretty sure, was a store where all the women had bought dolls, and where the killer had targeted them. She would have to find that store first, before she could track down the place where he took the women.
Again, she brought up the map on her computer and zoomed in on it. The easternmost point of the smaller area wasn’t very far from where Riley lived. She saw that a state road formed an arc that reached westward through several small towns, none of them wealthy or historic. They were just the sorts of towns she was looking for. And each of them undoubtedly had some kind of toy or doll store.
She printed out the smaller map, then ran another search, locating stores in every town. Finally, Riley shut down her computer. She had to get some sleep.
Tomorrow she would go out in search of Cindy MacKinnon.
Chapter 24
Dusk was falling by the time Riley pulled into Glendive. It had been a long day, and she was feeling desperate. Time was passing much too fast, and so was any possibility of finding any life-saving clues.
Glendive was the eighth town on her route. In every town so far, Riley had gone into stores that sold toys and dolls, questioning anyone who would talk to her. She felt sure that she hadn’t found the store she was looking for.
Nobody in any of the stores remembered seeing the women in the photographs she had showed them. Of course, the women in question were similar in age and appearance to a dozen others that a storekeeper might meet in any given week. To make matters worse, none of the dolls Riley saw on display struck her as the likely inspiration for the arrangement of the victims.
When she drove into Glendive, Riley had an odd sense of déjà vu. The main street looked uncannily like those in most of the other towns, with a brick church flanked on one side by a movie theater and on the other side by a drug store. All these towns were starting to blur together in her exhausted mind.
What was I thinking? she asked herself.
Last night she had been desperate to sleep, and she had taken her prescription tranquilizers. That hadn’t been a bad idea. But following it with a couple of shots of whiskey had been unwise. Now she had a severe headache, but she had to keep going.
As she parked her car near the store she planned to check out, she saw that daylight was waning. She sighed with discouragement. She had one more town and one more store to check out tonight. It would be at least three hours before she could get back to Fredericksburg to pick up April at Ryan’s house. How many nights had she been late now?
She took out her cell phone and dialed the house number. She hoped against hope that Gabriela would answer. Instead, she heard Ryan’s voice.
“What is it, Riley?” he asked.
“Ryan,” Riley sputtered, “I’m terribly sorry, but – ”
“You’re going to be late again,” Ryan said, finishing her sentence.
“Yeah,” Riley said. “I’m sorry.”
A silence fell.
“Look, it’s really important,” Riley finally said. “A woman’s life is in danger. I’ve got to do what I’m doing.”
“I’ve heard it before,” Ryan said in a disapproving tone. “It’s always a matter of life and death. Well, go ahead. Take care of it. It’s just that I’m starting to wonder why you bother to pick up April at all. She might as well just stay right here.”
Riley felt her throat tighten. Just as she had feared, Ryan sounded like he was gearing up for a custody fight. And it wasn’t out of any sincere desire to raise April. He was too busy living it up to concern himself with his daughter. All he wanted was to cause Riley pain.
“I’ll come and get her,” Riley said, trying to steady her voice. “We can talk about all this later.”
She ended the call.
Then she stepped out of the car and walked the short distance to the store – Debbie’s Doll Boutique, it was called. She went inside and saw that the name was a little presumptuous for a store that sold pretty standard, brand-name merchandise.
Nothing quaint or fancy here, she realized.
It seemed unlikely that this was the place she was looking for. The store she had in mind had to be at least a little bit special, a place that inspired a word-of-mouth reputation that attracted customers from surrounding towns. Still, Riley had to check this one out to be absolutely sure.
Riley walked up to the counter, where a tall, elderly woman with thick glasses and birdlike features was at the cash register.
“I’m Special Agent Riley Paige, FBI,” she said, once again feeling naked without her badge. So far, other clerks had been willing to talk to her without it. She hoped that this woman would as well.
Riley pulled out four photographs and put them on the counter.
“I wonder if you’ve seen any of these women,” she said, pointing to the pictures one by one. “You probably wouldn’t remember Margaret Geraty – she would have been here two years ago. But Eileen Rogers would have come here about six months ago, and Reba Frye would have bought a doll six weeks ago. This last woman, Cindy MacKinnon, would have been here late last week.”
The woman peered at the pictures closely.
“Oh, dear,” she said. “My eyes aren’t what they used to be. Let me take a closer look.”
She picked up a magnifying glass and examined the photos. Meanwhile, Riley noticed that there was someone else in the store. He was a rather homely man of average height and build. He was wearing a T-shirt and well-worn jeans. Riley might well have overlooked him if it weren’t for one important detail.
He was carrying a bunch of roses.
These roses were real, but the combination of roses and dolls could signal a killer’s obsession.
The man wasn’t looking at her. He had surely heard her announce herself as FBI. Was he avoiding eye contact?
Just then the woman’s voice piped up.
“I don’t think I’ve seen any of them,” she said. “But then, like I said, I don’t see at all well. And I’ve never been any good with faces. I’m sorry not to be of more help.”
“It’s all right,” Riley said, putting the photos back in her purse. “Thank you for your time.”
She turned to look again at the man, who was now browsing a nearby rack. Her pulse quickened.
It definitely could be him, she thought. If he buys a doll, I’ll know it’s him.
But it wouldn’t do for her to stand here and watch him. If he was guilty, he wasn’t likely to give himself away. He might slip away from her.
She smiled at the storekeeper and left.
Outside, Riley walked a short distance down the block and stood there waiting. Only a few minutes passed before the store’s door opened and the man came out. He was still holding the roses in one hand. In the other he held a bag of newly purchased merchandise. He turned and started walking along the sidewalk, moving away from Riley.
Taking long strides, Riley walked after him. She assessed his size and build. She was slightly taller than he was, and possibly a good bit stronger. She was probably better trained. She wasn’t going to let him get away.
Just as he was passing a narrow alley, the man must have heard steps behind him. He turned suddenly and glanced back at her. He stepped to one side, as though to get out of her way.
Riley pushed him sideways into the alley – pushed him hard and roughly. The space was narrow, dirty, and dim.
Startled, the man dropped both the package and the roses. The flowers scattered across the pavement. He raised an arm as though to ward her off.
She took hold of that arm and twisted it behind his back, pushing him face-first against a brick wall.
“I’m Special Agent Riley Paige, FBI,” she snapped. “Where are you holding Cindy MacKinnon? Is she still alive?”
The man was shaking from head to foot.
“Who?” he asked, his voice trembling. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Don’t play games with me,” Riley snapped, feeling more naked than ever without her badge – and especially without her gun. How was she supposed to bring this guy in without drawing a weapon? She was a long way from Quantico, and she didn’t even have a partner to help her.
“Lady, I don’t know what this is all about,” the man said, bursting into tears.
“What are these roses for?” Riley demanded. “Who are they for?”
“My daughter!” the man cried out. “Her first piano recital is tomorrow.”
Riley was still holding him by his right arm. The man’s left hand was flat against the wall. Riley suddenly noticed something that hadn’t caught her eye until now.
The man was wearing a wedding ring. She’d been all but sure that the murderer wasn’t married.
“Piano recital?” she said.
“Mrs. Tully’s students,” he cried. “You can ask anyone in town.”
Riley loosened her grip a little.
The man went on, “I bought her roses to celebrate. For when she takes her bow. I bought her a doll too.”
Riley released the man’s arm and walked over to where he had dropped the package. She picked it up and pulled out its contents.
It was a doll, all right – one of those teenage-girl dolls that always offended and disturbed her, all sexed up with full lips and an ample bosom. But as creepy as it was, it looked nothing like the kind of doll she’d seen near Daggett. That doll was of a little girl. So was the doll she’d seen in the picture of Cindy MacKinnon and her niece – all frilly and golden-haired and dressed in pink.
She had the wrong man. She gasped for breath.
“I’m sorry,” she said to the man. “I was wrong. I’m so, so sorry.”
Still shaking with shock and confusion, the man was picking up the roses. Riley bent over to help him.
“No! No!” the man exclaimed. “Don’t help! Stay away! Just – get away from me!”
Riley turned and walked out of the alley, leaving the forlorn man to gather up his daughter’s roses and doll. How could she have let this happen? Why did she go so far with it? Why had she not noticed the man’s wedding ring the moment she saw him?
The answer was simple. She was exhausted, and her head was splitting. She wasn’t thinking straight.
As she walked dazedly down the sidewalk, a neon storefront sign for a bar caught her eye. She wanted a drink. She felt like she needed a drink.
She went into the dimly lit place and sat down at the bar. The bartender was busy waiting on another customer. Riley wondered what the man she had just accosted was doing right now. Was he calling the police? Was she about to be apprehended herself? That would certainly be a bitter irony.
But she guessed that the man probably wouldn’t call the police. After all, he’d have a hard time explaining what had happened. He might even feel embarrassed at having been attacked by a woman.
Anyway, if he had called the police, and they were on their way to get her, it wouldn’t do to make a run for it. If she had to, she’d face the consequences of her actions. And maybe she deserved to be arrested. She remembered her conversation with Mike Nevins, how he’d drawn her attention to her own feelings of worthlessness.
Maybe I’m right to feel worthless, she thought. Maybe it would have been better if Peterson had just killed me.
The bartender stepped toward her.
“What will you have, ma’am?” he asked.
“A bourbon on the rocks,” Riley said. “Make that a double.”
“Coming right up,” the bartender said.
She reminded herself that it wasn’t like her to drink on the job. Her agonizing recovery from PTSD had been marked by occasional bouts of intense drinking, but she’d thought that was behind her.
She took a sip. The rough drink felt comforting going down.
She still had one more town to visit, and at least one more person to interview. But she needed something to calm her nerves.
Well, she thought with a bitter smile, at least I’m not officially on duty.
She finished the drink quickly, then talked herself out of ordering another. The toy store in the next town would close soon, and she had to get there right away. Time was running out for Cindy MacKinnon – if it hadn’t run out already.
As she left the bar, Riley sensed that she was walking on the edge of a familiar abyss. She had thought she’d left all that horror, pain, and self-loathing far behind. Was it catching up with her again?
How much longer, she wondered, could she evade its deadly pull?
