Bishop of Hippo Saint Augustine
King Alfred's Old English Version of St. Augustine's Soliloquies
R. [43.13 – 44.24] Said I not formerly that he who would feel the bare body must feel it with bare hands? And I say also, if thou wilt behold wisdom itself thus bare, that thou must not allow any cloth between thine eyes and it, nor even any mist; albeit to that thou canst not come in this present life, though I enjoin it upon thee, and though thou wish it. Wherefore no man ought to despair, though he have not so sound eyes as he who can look the sharpest; even he who can look the sharpest of all can not himself see the sun just as it is while he is in this present life. Yet no man hath such weak eyes that he can not live by the sun and use it, if he can see at all, unless he be purblind. Moreover, I can teach unto thee other parables about wisdom. Consider now whether any man seeketh there the king's home where he is in town, or his court, or his army, or whether it seemeth to thee that they all must come thither by the same road; on the contrary, I suppose they would come by very many roads: some would come from afar, and would have a road very long and very bad and very difficult; some would have a very long and very direct and very good road; some would have a very short and yet hard and strait and foul one; some would have a short and smooth and good one; and yet they all would come to one and the same lord, some more easily, some with more difficulty; neither do they come thither with like ease, nor are they there alike at ease. Some are in more honor and in more ease than others; some in less, some almost without, except the one that he loveth. So is it likewise with wisdom. Each one who wisheth it and who anxiously prayeth for it, he can come to it and abide in its household and live near it; yet some are nearer it, others farther from it; just so is every king's court: some dwell in cottages, some in halls, some on the threshing-floor, some in prison; and yet they all live by the favor of one lord, just as all men live under one sun, and by its light see what they see. Some look very carefully and very clearly; some see with great difficulty; others are stark blind, yet use the sun. But just as the visible sun lighteth the eyes of our body,[44.25 – 46.10] so wisdom lighteth the eyes of our mind, which is our understanding. And just as the eyes of the body are more sound, thus to use more of the sun's light, so is it also with the mind's eyes, that is, the understanding: just by so much as that is sounder, by so much more may it see the eternal sun, which is wisdom. Every man that hath sound eyes needeth no other guide nor teacher to see the sun, except health. If he hath sound eyes, he may himself look at the sun. On the contrary, if he hath unsound eyes, then he needeth that one teach him to look first on the wall, then on gold, and on silver; when he can more easily look on that, [then let him look]10 on fire, before he looketh at the sun. Then after he hath learned that his eyes do not at all avoid the fire, let him look on the stars and on the moon, then on sunshine, before he looketh on the sun itself. And just so with the other sun that we formerly spake of, that is, wisdom. He who wisheth to see it with his mind's eyes must begin very gradually, and then little by little mount nearer and nearer by steps, just as if he were climbing on a ladder and wished to ascend some sea-cliff. If he then ever cometh up on the cliff, he may look both over the shore and over the sea, which then lieth beneath him, and also over the land that formerly was above him. But if it seemeth good to us, let us stop here for this day, and to-morrow seek further after the same thing which we before sought after.
A. Nay, not at all; but I humbly pray thee that thou weary not, nor leave off the conversation here; but say somewhat more clearly about it so that I may more clearly feel and understand something concerning this wisdom, and bid me what thou wilt. I will understand it, if it lies in my power.
R. I know not anything to command thee of which thou hast more need for the science which thou wishest to know, than that thou despise, so much as thou art able, worldly honors, and especially intemperate and unlawful ones, because I fear that they may bind thy mind to themselves and take[46.10 – 48.6] it with their snare, just as one catcheth wild beasts or fowls, so that thou canst not accomplish what thou wishest; for I know that the freer thou art from the things of this world, the more clearly thou shalt understand about the wisdom which thou desirest; and if it ever happen that thou canst so entirely forsake them that thou desirest naught of them, then shall I be able to say to thee forsooth (believe me if thou wilt), that in that very hour thou shalt know all that thou wishest now to know, and shalt have all that thou wishest to have.
A. When shall that be? I do not believe that it will ever be that I shall not yearn at all after this world's honors, unless one thing happen, namely: that I see those honors which thou promisest me. Howbeit I know not that it would please me so well to yearn no more after this world's honors.
R. Now methinks thou dost not answer me with reason. Methinks that thou speakest very much as if thine eyes should say to thy mind: 'We will never avoid the darkness of the night until we can see the sun itself.' Thus, methinks, the eyes do, if they avoid that part of the sun's light which they can see. It can not happen even to the soundest of all eyes that they can look from this world and see the sun as it is. By this thou mayest conclude that thou oughtest not to sigh though thou canst not see wisdom naked with the eyes of thy mind just as it is; for thou canst never do that while thou art in the darkness of thy sins. But enjoy the wisdom which thou hast, and have joy in the part which thou canst understand, and seek more with thy whole heart. Wisdom itself knoweth what thou art worthy of, and how much it may show itself to thee. There is naught worse in a man than to suppose that he is worthy of what he is not. The physician knoweth better than the sick whether he can be healed or not, or whether he can be healed by mild or by severe treatment. Therefore thou must not excuse thyself too much, nor sigh too much after aught. The eyes of thy mind are not so wholly sound as thou dost suppose.
A. [48.7 – 49.18] Cease, O cease! Do not vex me, nor increase my sorrow. Enough have I, though thou increase it not. Thou seekest it at times so high, at times so deep, that I understand now that I am not such as I supposed, but I am ashamed that I supposed that which was not. Truly enough thou hast said. The Physician whom I wish to heal me knoweth how sound my eyes are. He knoweth what He wisheth to show me. To Him I commit myself, and to His goodness I entrust myself. May He do unto me according to His will! On Him I call, that He may make fast my soul to Him. I will never again say that I have sound eyes until I see wisdom itself.
R. I know no better advice for thee than thou formerly saidst. But leave off woe and sorrow, and be measurably happy. Thou wert formerly too immoderately sorrowful, for sorrow injureth both mind and body.
A. Thou wouldst restrain my weeping and my sorrow, and still I perceive no limit to my misery and misfortunes. Thou bidst me leave off sorrow lest I, either in mind or in body, be weaker; yet I find no strength, either in mind or body, but am full nigh in despair. But I beseech thee, if thou in any wise canst, to lead me by some shorter way, somewhat nearer the light of the understanding which I long ago desired and yet could not come by in my ignorance; notwithstanding that I may afterwards be ashamed to look again toward the darkness which I formerly desired to forsake, if ever I draw nigh to the light.
R. Let us now end this book here properly, and name a shorter way in another book, if we can.
A. Nay, nay; let us not leave this book yet until I am able to understand that which we are after.
R. Methinks I ought to do as thou bidst me. Something draweth me on, I know not what, but I surmise it is the God thou seekest after.
A. Thanks be to Him that adviseth thee, and to thee also, if thou praise Him. Lead whither thou wilt: I will follow after thee if I can.
R. [49.19 – 52.2] Methinks thou desirest still to know that same thing about God and thy soul which thou didst formerly desire.
A. Yea, that alone I desire.
R. Wishest thou aught more? Wishest thou not to know truth?
A. How can I, without truth, know aught of truth, or what wilt thou say, without truth, that God is? For we hear it read in the Gospel that Christ said that He is the way, the truth, and the life.
R. Rightly thou sayest; but I would know whether it seemeth to thee that the true and truth are one [and the same thing].
A. Two things, methinks, they are, just as wisdom is one thing, and that which is wise is another; and likewise chastity is one thing, and that which is chaste is another.
R. Which, then, doth seem to thee better, the true or truth?
A. Truth; for all that is true is so because of truth; and every thing that is chaste is so because of chastity; and he who is wise is so because of wisdom.
R. Thanks be to God that thou understandest it so well. Howbeit I would know whether thou suppose, if a wise man were dead, wisdom would be dead. Or again, if a chaste man were dead, chastity would be dead. Or if a truthful man were dead, would truth then be dead.
A. Nay, nay, verily; that can not come to pass.
R. Well dost thou understand it. But I would know whether thou suppose that wisdom is gone, or chastity, or truth, when the man passeth away; or whence they formerly came, or where they are, if they exist? Or whether they be corporeal, or spiritual? For no man doubteth that every thing that is existeth somewhere.
A. Very searching is thy question, and pleasant for him to know who can know it. What is wanting to him who knoweth that?
R. Canst thou recognize the righteous and the unrighteous?
A. [52.3 – 53.19] Yea, to some extent; not, however, as I would. But I would like to know what thou formerly didst ask.
R. I wonder why thou hast so completely forgotten what thou only a little before didst admit that thou knewest. Didst thou not say before that thou knewest truth to be eternal, although the true man passed away? And now thou sayest, 'If it existeth.'
A. That same thing I say still. I know that it abideth, although the true man passeth away.
R. All that is true abideth while it doth exist; but that which thou callest truth is God. He ever was, and ever will be, immortal and eternal. God hath all knowledge in Himself sound and perfect. He hath made two eternal things, to wit, angels and men's souls, to which He gave some portion of eternal gifts, such as wisdom and righteousness, and many others which it seemeth to us too numerous to count. To angels He giveth according to their capacity, and to the souls of men He giveth gifts according to the capacity of each. These same they need never lose, for they are everlasting, and to men He giveth many and divers good gifts in this world, although they be not eternal. Howbeit they are serviceable while we are in this world. Dost thou yet understand that souls are immortal? If thou hast understood it, do not conceal it from me, but confess it. If it is otherwise, tell me then.
A. Thanks be to God for the part I know. I will now consider this and hold it as I best can, and if I have doubts about any thing, I will promptly tell them to thee.
R. Believe firmly in God, and commit thyself wholly to God, and seek not too much the fulfilling of thine own will above His; but be His servant, not thine own; and confess that thou art His servant. Then He will raise thee ever nearer and nearer to himself, and will not let any adversity befall thee. Howbeit if He permit any adversity to befall thee, it will be for thy good, although thou canst not understand it.
A. [53.20 – 54.6] That I both hear and believe, and this instruction I will follow as I best can, and will pray God that I may fulfil it as thou long ago didst instruct me; do thou now teach me, if thou wilt.
R. Do this for me first, and tell me again, after thou hast studied this, what thou likest of this; and if thou doubtest aught about any of these things, then tell it to me.
Here endeth the anthology of the first book.
