August Strindberg
Lucky Pehr
SHOEMAKER. Of course I will—Have I said anything to the contrary? Can you prove that I said anything to the contrary?
RELATIVE. No; but be careful! We hold Common Council here on the square at nine o'clock, when that reformer will speak for his cause. Do you know what he wants?
SHOEMAKER. No.
RELATIVE. Can you imagine it! He wants to repave all our streets with flagstones.
SHOEMAKER. But that's rather considerate of him.
RELATIVE. [Laughs ironically.] Considerate? Oh, very! How will it go, for example just to mention your calling—how will it go with the precious shoemaking trade when the people no longer wear out any shoes?
SHOEMAKER. What—what say you? Forgive me, my friend, but you are right. However, I'm not thinking of my humble calling, but of all the poor innocent working men who will be robbed of their bread—and of their poor wives and children!
HANS. [At window, makes faces.] Poor unfortunate workingmen!
RELATIVE. You see, you see! [Pointing to statue.] He was the friend of the poor, and he was a man that knew what he did!
SHOEMAKER. You may depend upon it that both the wagonmaker and the chiropodist will share my opinion.
RELATIVE. Am I quite sure of that?
SHOEMAKER. In life and in death!
RELATIVE. Happy the people who respect their great men! [Runs.]
[Enter populace. Relative is talking with the wagonmaker and the chiropodist.] [The Courthouse clock strikes nine; two trumpeters and a drummer come on and sound a call. When the music has ceased Pehr enters, and is joined by Street-Paver.]
PEHR. Good morning, master. How do you think this matter will go for me?
STREET-PAVER. Badly, very badly!
PEHR. Don't the people want improvements, then?
STREET-PAVER. There's no question as to that—it's a question of the great man's reputation, which you have attacked.
PEHR. Have I attacked him? [Rain has ceased.]
STREET-PAVER. You called him burgomaster, and that title has become a by-word in the town; you said that his paving stones were rough—in a word, you have expressed the common opinion of the man, therefore you are ruined.
PEHR. It's a very remarkable world that we live in!
STREET-PAVER. It's rather see-saw, and has its little eccentricities, but do not try to help it, sir, for then it will send you straight to tophet!
PEHR. The people are dissatisfied and when one wants to dig up the cause of their dissatisfaction, they throw stones at one! [A boy thrusts a leaflet into their hands, hurries along and distributes more among the populace.]
PEHR. [Glances at leaflet.] But this is outrageous! They have sketched us. Have I a nose like that?
STREET-PAVER. They have hit us off rather well—but surely I haven't such ears!
PEHR. I can't understand this—Yesterday the editor was for the cause and to-day he abuses me.
STREET-PAVER. Public opinion, you see! He said to me, also, that he approved of this movement, but that he stared not defy public opinion.
PEHR. A curious way of working for his cause! Who, then, is public opinion for him?
STREET-PAVER. First, the customers; then the burgomaster, money, and power.
PEHR. Then why did he caricature you?
STREET-PAVER. Because I entered into your proposition. As a matter of course, I did it because I could make money by it. Meantime, he is selling hundreds of these poems to-day—[Trumpets and drum sound; Burgomaster, Councilmen and Clerks come out into speakers' cage.]
BURGOMASTER. Well, my children, you must have heard that an impostor has come to town.
ONE OF THE PEOPLE. He's no impostor; he is a reformer.
BURGOMASTER. It comes to the same thing—but you must hold your tongue, my lad, you have no vote!
PEHR. Herr Burgomaster, I would beg that my proposition be presented in a proper manner before this honored popular assembly—
BURGOMASTER. Just listen to him! We know his proposition and it simply remains for us to express ourselves. Well and good, I consign it to the madhouse! It is the man's wish—think of it, my children! that all may be permitted to tread upon smooth pavements. So long as Our Lord creates different kinds of human beings, there must be different kinds of stones on our streets. Is there anybody who would add further remarks?
ONE OF THE PEOPLE. That isn't true! Our Lord does not create different kinds of human beings.
BURGOMASTER. Who gave you permission to shriek?
ONE OF THE PEOPLE. Since we have no voice in things, we may at least be allowed to shriek!
BURGOMASTER. Yes, shriek, and I'll put you in the lockup! There is no one, of course, who has something to add?
RELATIVE. Herr Burgomaster, as a man of honor, may I not be permitted to enter a protest against the scandalous attack that has been made?
PEHR. I challenge the relative!
BURGOMASTER. And I, on the other hand, attach more weight to the Relative's utterance since he is allied to a great man; that is always the community's best guarantee—
ROOSTER. [From hen-coop outside the shoemaker's.] Cockelicoo!
BURGOMASTER. What's that devilish racket?
ONE OF THE PEOPLE. That's one who is blessed with a voice!
ROOSTER. Cockelicoo!
ONE OF THE PEOPLE. Arrest him! [Laughter and groans.]
BURGOMASTER. Quiet, back there! Secondly: Said adventurer has spoken outrageously of the administration in that he has made defamatory speeches against the city's departed burgomaster. We would hear a few impartial citizens—Master Shoemaker, what, in your opinion, does he merit?
SHOEMAKER. I vote with the administration.
BURGOMASTER. Quite right; he should be held in contempt. What say you, Master Chiropodist?
CHIROPODIST. I concur.
BURGOMASTER. And the wagonmaker?
WAGONMAKER. I have the honor to agree with the last speaker.
ONE OF THE PEOPLE. Those who have the right to speak are silent.
BURGOMASTER. Silence, back there! On the ground of what has already been advanced, with the support of conclusive evidence, the adventurer named Pehr [no family name] is hereby sentenced for vicious utterances against the administration to stand in the pillory two hours, later to be expelled from the city, to his everlasting disgrace and as a warning to others.
PEHR. Herr Burgomaster, the proofs are lacking.
BURGOMASTER. We require none. Axiom, or self-evident points, neither can nor need be proved. Away with him! [Pehr is led off.]
BURGOMASTER. Thirdly: In consideration of the vexatious as well as unforeseen incident that the city's dogs give unseemly expression to their inward feelings for the hideous around the pedestal of Hans Schulze's statue, an appropriation is demanded for an iron railing around the same. Surely no one will refuse a deserving man such trifling act of respect?
QUALIFIED VOTERS. No!
ONE OF THE PEOPLE. That is the first time we've heard the voters say no!
BURGOMASTER. Officer, put him in the lockup! The question has been answered, then, in the affirmative.
QUALIFIED VOTERS. Yes.
ONE OF THE PEOPLE. [Makes noise like a sheep.] B-a-a-a! [An instant of laughter and commotion.]
BURGOMASTER. The Common Council is adjourned. [Trumpets and drum sound, after which silence on stage.]
RELATIVE. [To Shoemaker.] He's an uncommonly firm expeditor, that burgomaster.
SHOEMAKER. He ought to be in the Legislature—then it would go a little faster with the common motions.
[Burgomaster, Councilmen and Secretary go into Courthouse. People continue to circulate on square; Street-paver keeps aloof.]
SHOEMAKER. [To Chiropodist, Wagonmaker and Relative.] Gentlemen, won't you sit down and drink a glass of ale with me?
CHIROPODIST, WAGONMAKER, RELATIVE. Thank you!
SHOEMAKER. [At door, gives order; Hans brings on ale.] Well, Herr Relative, you did not choose to be present this morning at the memorial fest for your illustrious kinsman?
RELATIVE. Where was the need of my going out in the rain? You were there with the Society.
SHOEMAKER. The whole Society! There were three of us.
RELATIVE. Did you sing?
CHIROPODIST. Yes, a little.
RELATIVE. [Laughing.] Were there many people?
WAGONMAKER. Not a soul!
RELATIVE. And the burgomaster—
SHOEMAKER. Overslept himself.
RELATIVE. [Laughing.] Have you seen the Morning Crow?
ALL. No.
RELATIVE. [Takes up a pamphlet.] Would you like to hear, then—"Tribute. The customary tribute paid by the Schulze Society to the memory of our worthy citizen, whom we commemorate in bronze on the city's public square, took place this morning in presence of a great crowd of people that greeted the memorial songs, sung in honor of the illustrious departed, with hearty applause. The songs were rendered by the great chorus with the usual precision and good ensemble. The oration, which had been prepared with the utmost care, was delivered in clear, resonant tones by the worthy shoemaker, Pumpen-Block. Among the notables present we observed the city's burgomaster, the kinsman of the departed, and others." [All laugh.]
RELATIVE. Isn't that rich?
ALL. Oh, it's priceless!—You wrote that.
RELATIVE. By the by, have you seen the cartoon of the reformer and the street-paver? It's capital!
SHOEMAKER. But it was a bit extravagant to caricature them in that way!
RELATIVE. Oh, no sensible person has anything against the proposition; but that it should fall into such hands—Hush, here he comes!
[Pehr is led on by guards, who place him in the pillory and adjust neck-irons. The populace nudge each other and point at him. Shoemaker's company slightly embarrassed. Enter a lyre player and an old blind woman, with a painted canvas on a pole. Old woman sings and points at canvas, which is painted in six panels—one for each stanza.]
OLD WOMAN
There was a guileless youth
Who heard the people's wail;
Lawgivers sat in the square
And gaily quaffed their ale.
The youth to the people said:
"I would make your pathway fair!"
"There's trouble," the rulers cried,
"Sedition breeds in the air."
Still they sat in the square,
And still they quaffed their ale;
They talked of the people's good,
But heard not the people's wail.
The youth in the pillory stood,
For there he'd been given his place;
In the wag'nmaker's hen-coop the cock crew
As of yore in Caiphas' palace.
The great respect the law,
Their own renown they buy
With statues and tombs and gold
To praise them when they die.
The people pass under the yoke,
They wail through the vigils of night,
And wait till the cock shall crow
To herald an era of light.
[Shoemaker's company make wry faces and pretend not to be listening; the people are interested and drop pennies into the old woman's bank. The women are moved to tears and wipe their eyes now and then.]
RELATIVE. [To shoemaker.] Have you many orders now-a-days?
SHOEMAKER. Oh, so-so—
OLD WOMAN. Give the old blind woman a coin?
CHIROPODIST. Begging is prohibited, don't you know that?
ONE OF THE PEOPLE. She's not begging; she asks remuneration.
SHOEMAKER. What kind of rot is he talking?
ONE OF THE PEOPLE. The Schulze Society is paid to sing for the statue yonder, but the men pocket the coins and stay away. This morning only three were there.
SHOEMAKER. [To his guests.] Think, they know all that goes on, the villains!
OLD WOMAN. Give the blind old woman a coin!
RELATIVE. One must pay, to boot, for her croaking?
ONE OF THE PEOPLE. She sings better than the shoemaker sang this morning, when we stood round the corner listening to him. He certainly does not sing ideally about carnations and roses, but a true word spoken at the right moment is also ideal!
RELATIVE. If you don't go, old hag, you'll be locked up!
[Thunder and lightning, wind, rain, commotion.]
SHOEMAKER. Egad! it's raining again. Step inside, gentlemen. [They break up.]
OLD WOMAN. Must that poor wretch in the pillory stand out in the rain?
RELATIVE. If my kinsman, who is so great a personage, can stand outside, then that fellow may as well stay where he is.
SHOEMAKER. It cools these reformers off so nicely to get a little cold water over them. [Trips, stubs toe against a stone.] The damned cobble stones! [Hops into house on one leg. Exit all but Pehr and Old Woman—Lisa.]
LISA. [Throws off disguise.] Well, Pehr! You have become a famous man; your name is now on every one's lips, your picture is being carried round on all streets and public squares and the people hail you as a reformer. Are you satisfied?
PEHR. Yes, Lisa, now I am satisfied with being a reformer!
LISA. Shall you leave your work half-done?
PEHR. Yes, Lord save us! If only I can escape with my skin.
LISA. You sought glory and renown—
PEHR. But all do that!
LISA. Not all. But you had the approval of the people.
PEHR. The people! They have nothing to say.
LISA. So it was the approval of the great that you wanted. Then stand there and be ashamed! You did not even believe in the cause for which you stood.
PEHR. Frankly, I think it a matter of slight consequence whether one walks upon smooth or rough stones.
LISA. When one walks in calfskin boots—yes; but not when one goes barefooted!
PEHR. Moreover, the community isn't worth a straw; the whole thing is only a sham! The common good, the common good—one never talks of anything else. What, then, is the common good? It strikes me as being an agreement between a few private individuals.
LISA. It should be everyone's good, but it isn't. Make it so, and it will be so.
PEHR. I want to—oh, I want to do it, but I haven't the power!
LISA. Then get it, Pehr, and let's see if I have made a mistake.
PEHR. [Breaks irons and comes down stage.] You shall see, Lisa, that I will do something big when I have the power.
LISA. Why something big? Something good would be better.
PEHR. But you must always be by my side, Lisa. What was it that the bird in the wood sang?
LISA. That I will tell you next time.
PEHR. No, now!
LISA. He said: "I love you!"
PEHR. Won't you love me, Lisa?
LISA. Yes, when you love me.
PEHR. But I do!
LISA. No, you do not; so far you love only yourself. Out again, Pehr, and learn something! There are not many wishes left to you; the greatest but most dangerous one is ahead of you—Power! That is the highest thing a frail mortal can attain. But woe to him who misuses it! He is the world's greatest criminal, for he makes a caricature of Our Blessed Lord! Farewell, King! thy crown awaits thee! [Disappears.]
PEHR. Oh, my queen!
CURTAIN.
