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Alger Horatio Jr.
Nothing to Do
Floated dreamily down the thrice beautiful Rhine,
Through lands that are teeming with olives and wine;
Passed a night in the capital city of Berne,
And crossed in a steamer the Lake of Lucerne;
Has strolled through the fortified town of Brussels,
And heard in old Bruges the sweet Minster bells;
Has stopped in the siege-renowned city of Prague,
And supped with Mynheer in his town of the Hague;
At length reaching France, in a steamboat crossed over
The troublesome straits linking Calais with Dover;
Which gained, up to London he travelled post-haste,
With the prominent thought, there was no time to waste.
With the help of post-horses and frequent relays,
He "did" the whole island in eight or ten days,
During which he no doubt made a thorough survey
Of all objects of interest passed on the way.
He next made a very brief visit to Cork
(The city and people he couldn't endure),
And returning took passage at once to New York,
With the comforting thought—he had made the grand tour.
From his journal I venture below to record
A single impression received while abroad:
"June 7th, we reached Athens—a sizable place,
Some three or four miles from the Gulf of Ægina;
It contains a cathedral not equal to Grace
Church in New York, which I think is much finer.
Went up to the top of the famous Acropolis,
Which is visited daily by hundreds of people,
But can't say I think that the view from the top o' this
Is equal to that from our Trinity steeple.
The houses are mostly unsightly and small;
In Minerva and Hermes' street noticed a few
Which will do very well, but are nothing at all
Compared with our mansion in Fifth-Avenue.
The piles of old ruins one sees here and there
I consider a perfect disgrace to the town;
If they had an efficient and competent Mayor,
Like our Mayor Wood, he would soon have them down."
Returned from his tour, he may daily be seen
Promenading Broadway with a calm air of su-
Periority, such as is rightfully worn
By the heir of two millions and nothing to do.
Observe how he shrinks, with a languid disdain,
From a shabby book-keeper with coat worse for wear;
It would scarce be befitting for fine porcelain
To come in close contact with common delf-ware.
He inclines, as I think, in regard to the masses,
In a modified form to the views of Agassiz:
As that Adam the first had another for weedin',
And other such jobs, in the garden of Eden;
While Eve has a housemaid—the wife of the latter,
Of color uncertain—perhaps a mulatto,
Who lives in the kitchen, cooks, washes, and starches,
While Eve in the parlor plays waltzes and marches;
And that those who perforce bear the burdens of life
Date their origin back to this man and his wife,
While from Adam the first are descended the few
Who are blest with long purses and nothing to do.
An exceedingly simple and practical way
Of explaining the present distinction of classes,
